Part 183: Klassic Kwotes X!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 183:  Klassic Kwotes X – The Final Chapter

Finally the Klassic Kwotes well has run dry.  Enjoy Part X, for now this feature will be put on ice.  I have a new feature that I’ll be starting really soon.  Until then, here’s the final 10 quotes from the Record Store days…


1. It boggled my mind that people would expect a cheap used CD of a good album to just sit there.  So it always made me wonder what people were thinking when they’d say, “What do you mean that used copy of Dark Side of the Moon isn’t here anymore?  It was here last week!”

2. “I really want a job.  It doesn’t have to be at your store, I just want a job.  Can you tell me how to get one?”  Real phone call.

3. Dandy sometimes has his own stalker types.  One day Dandy brought a tattoo magazine to work.  His stalker kid saw it on the counter and proclaimed: “Nice!  Who’s sick tatty book?” 

4. Generic but frequent question:  “Do you have any European trance techno jungle DJ mix discs?”  Then, when you’d ask for a title or name to give you something to look up, they’d never know the name of a song or an artist.

5. “I just want one song on this CD.  Can I just buy a blank CD, and you burn it for me?

6. “Do you have any of those complication albums?”  Compilation albums.

9. “I have a CD to sell here.  One slight problem, not a big deal.  The front cover is for one CD, and the back cover is from a different CD.  Oh, and the disc inside isn’t either of those.  Can you take it?”

10.  “Do you guys buy used CD cases?  Like the plastic shells?”  No!  Nobody does!  They just throw them out!

This guy is hilarious.


Alan Cross!



  1. You do get some interesting characters! I never worked at a record store but my sister did. She told me about this one guy who used to come in and brag that he looked like Ronnie James Dio (which he looked nothing like). He also used to offer to take the girls who worked there out for lunch, none of them accepted.


  2. Dude, I really want a job. Do you think you could use any contacts you have remaining, after all this time, to get me an interview? ;)

    It isn’t just record stores that get the dummies, man. I worked retail too, and heard it all. But those are some pretty boneheaded things to say indeed. If I ever have a band, and we make multiple albums, and then we make a compilation (and holy, that is A LOT of ifs), I’m calling it our Complication.


  3. My ex once asked me to put on “the Nirvana song ‘Let The Bodies Hit The Floor” and has also said that she loved Iron Maiden and their song “The Ace Of Spades”

    She also said “the only screamo band I like is Dragonforce.”


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