Part 291: The Old Geezer Who Called the Cops For a Refund

 

REFUNDS

 

“Don’t make me tap the sign again.”

 

RECORD STORE TALES Part 291:
The Old Geezer Who Called the Cops For a Refund

Let’s say you went into a store, and bought a movie.  Then a few days later, you decided you didn’t like the movie and wanted to return it.  What kind of questions would cross your mind?

Here are some thoughts I would have.

  1. Do I still have the receipt?
  2. Does it state the store’s return policy?
  3. Does my purchase qualify for a return?

Those are all great, relevant questions.  Unfortunately for one old geezer, he didn’t proceed past question 1.

I was working one night, and I wasn’t even working in my own store.  I was running our website at that point, and I was holed up in the back room of another store working away.  Filling orders, responding to emails, all that stuff.  I had worked a long long day, a “split shift”.  My morning was spent in my own store working the opening shift.  Then I was off from 2-5, and finished the day working on the website.  So I was back there, doing my own thing, not having to spend time interacting with customers except by email.

Then, one of the in-store staff came into the back room, looking for help.

“Mike, we’re having a problem with a customer.  He wants to return a movie, and he wants a refund.  Can you come out here?”

I was the most senior person on premises, so I stepped out to help.  Our return policy was stated clearly on store signage, and on the receipt:  “EXCHANGE ONLY WITHIN 7 DAYS.”  We informally stretched that to 14 days to avoid hassles, but refunds were not usually permitted.

I saw the old guy, and asked if I could help.

“Yeah, all I want is my money back.  I don’t want this movie.”

I used my “understanding” voice.  “I’m sorry to hear that.  Would you like to do an exchange?  You can pick out anything in the store and we can put this towards it as credit?”

“I don’t want to pick anything else.  You don’t have anything I want.  I want my money back.”

“I’m really sorry,” I said, “We don’t offer refunds on used movies.  The policy is on the sign there, and on the receipt.  But you don’t have to exchange it for a movie, you can use it towards anything in store.  Or I could order something in from another store.  Or I can issue you a credit note, and you can take that with you and use it any time you like?”

“I don’t want a credit.  I want my damn money back!”

I wasn’t going to budge just because he was insistent; I had been given shit for budging on the refund policy before by my boss. I preferred getting yelled at by customers than by him.

“I’m sorry but I can’t do that.  I can however offer you any of the other options I mentioned.”

“Where’s the boss?  I want to talk to him,” the old man spat out.

“He’s not here,” I answered.  “He made those policies so we wouldn’t have to constantly call him asking about refunds.”

“Well then I’m calling the police.  I want my money back and I’m getting it back!”

I stood there for a moment, shocked that anybody would think this was a police matter.  “You can do that if you like,” I answered simply.

“Can I use your phone?”

Seriously?  OK then.  I handed him the phone.  He fumbled with it for a few moments.

“Can you call the police for me?” he said after a moment.

This time I laughed.  “No, it’s not me who even wants to call the police!  You can call them, I don’t want anything to do with that.”

Left without options, the old man dialed and called the police himself.  Shockingly he said to them, “Can you send a couple officers here?  I don’t want this to get violent.”

Violent?!  Oh my God!  A couple officers?  What a great use of our police resources!

The fuzz showed up about half an hour later.  One officer.  It was a pretty quick, cut-and-dried visit.  He asked the old guy what the issue was; the old guy complained again that he wanted his money back and we wouldn’t give it to him.  Then he asked me for my side of the story.  I explained that we do not offer refunds, that the policy was clearly stated everywhere, and the old man had many options for returning the movie that did not involve a refund.

The officer spelled this out to the old man. In a few minutes, he had already picked a replacement movie and agreed to the exchange.   I stood there thinking, “He needed a police officer for this to happen?”  We exchanged the movie, and I thanked him for his business.  He then walked over to the cop and put his arm on his shoulder.  “I’d like to talk to you outside, about this matter,” he said to the cop, and they went outside together.

I don’t know what additional issues he needed to discuss with the law, but I never saw the old man again.

Bottom line:

If you can’t get what you want at a store, please please please don’t get the police involved.  It’s such a waste of resources.

 

 

29 comments

  1. What an idiot. Its like the guy in the news who called the fire brigade to change the tv to a different network for him.

    I’ve had a lot of clowns when working retail, but never had anyone call the police on me ha ha

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    1. Or the ones that call the cops because McDonalds don’t serve burgers for breakfast.

      Thankfully this was my only time having the cops specifically called on US!

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  2. I’ve watched enough COPS to know this would be considered a civil matter. I’m surprised the po-po came to the scene, and probably because the geezer said it could get violent. What a maroon.

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    1. Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you.

      You’re probably right, when he said “violent” they might have been obligated to show up.

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        6. I know! But it makes me jittery especially on a Friday when I’m all excited about the weekend. And hey! We’re doing our 5K walk this weekend and I’m almost at my goal!

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        7. I wish I was at the stage where coffee still made me jittery. At this point, it’s just a necessary component for basic survival. ;)

          Have a blast on your walk, Dude! Get out there and give ‘er!

          I am also up to much goodness this weekend: tomorrow night we see Kvelertak / Gojira / Mastodon in concert in Taranna! Wooooo! \m/ \m/

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        9. I thank you sir!

          Most people don’t read signs. That’s something I learned. You can’t just put signs up and labels on things, you can to take people, point, and explain.

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  3. Some people, man. Retail is a shite-y thing for so many reasons, it’s true. But nothing is more frustrating than return/exhange/refund policies. No matter how many times you explain the rules of the shoppe, in a calm and clear manner, they always want an exception just for them. But calling the cops? Man, that’s a new one on me. It’s a wonder they didn’t give him hell for wasting their time.

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  4. This makes me really glad I don’t work in retail…then I stop and think about some of the idiots I work with at the plant.

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    1. Hahah! Well, they’re everywhere really. On the roads (especially on the roads), the sidewalks, the malls, the offices, and probably many in politics too. It’s hard to avoid idiots in life. One can’t stay a recluse!

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  5. Great post and excellent choice for the video. Dealing with the general public has its own special aspect, although working in an office is more like….

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  8. Mike, that is a sad and rather horrid story. I’m so glad my Record Store days were in the less antsy 70s!
    Although it does remind me of one of my favourite pieces of eBay Feedback on a big CD/DVD seller’s page. Someone left NEGATIVE FEEDBACK IN CAPITAL LETTERS. They said, “This move doesn’t make sense”.
    Sigh.

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    1. Ugh, eBay. I don’t even use it anymore to be honest. I do all my record shopping on Discogs and Amazon now. Ebay is good for toy collecting, but so pricey.

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