RECORD STORE TALES Part 295: That Damn Phone Again!
Getting phone calls from simpletons is part of every day life when you work in a store. I’m sure you’ve had dozens of your own that you could share for a chuckle, if you’ve ever slaved over a hot cash register for a living. That’s to be expected. Another thing that grinds your gears is the repetition of certain questions. I would say on average, these would have been my five most common questions over the phone:
1. “When do you open/close?”
2. “Do you have (artist), (title)?”
3. “How much?”
4. “How much can you give me for my (artist), (title) CD?” (We couldn’t do quotes over the phone without seeing the product. This will be discussed in further detail in a future Record Store Tale.)
5. “Do you still have that sale on washer/dryer units?”
That last question was because people often called us thinking we were Sears. Maybe the numbers were similar. I never figured that one out, but it happened often enough!
Perhaps the question that irritated me the most due to its frequency was “Is the owner in?” After several years of hard work he no longer worked in a store. He had an office with his own phone number. This question would come many times a day from friends and business associates. I’d just give them his office number and get them to call there. His office was just in the back of the store, but we had separate store and office lines for a reason. (I remember way back in the old original store, we had one line that was for both the phone and the VISA machine. You couldn’t run a credit card if you were on the phone.)
I was most irritated the time I caught hell for one such call. A friend of his had phoned the store, but he was out of his office. I asked if he’d like to leave a message, and he declined. He did however pepper me with questions.
“I’m coming to town in a few days to visit,” he began. “Can you recommend a good hotel that’s close to him?”
I’ve never stayed in a hotel in my home town in my life. What am I a travel agency? I suggested the Waterloo Inn.
“Are there good places to eat around there?”
The questions kept coming! Did I have the number for the Waterloo Inn? Were there good bars in town to hit? Do I have the address?
This being a friend of the boss, I did my best to answer, but I really didn’t have a clue. Finally the guy hung up, once again declining to leave a message. “Nah that’s OK, I’ll try him at home later.”
So, the next day I got in shit.
“Mike,” said the boss. “A friend of mine called here yesterday looking for me. You didn’t give me the message.”
The frustration boiled inside me. Seriously? “He didn’t want to leave a message!” I defended myself. “He asked me a good hotel to stay in that’s close to you so I suggested the Waterloo Inn.”
I got a lecture on writing down messages. The good news is, his friend never called me for hotel recommendations again!
mikeladano.com 
I feel your pain.
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Nice pic too!
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Thanks man! I had Cobra Commander sitting around for a while and just been waiting for a chance to work him in.
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I sympathize here. I used to work in a parking lot in Atlantic City and I used to get all sorts. The most common one was because we mainly parked buses, (no I didn’t park them myself) I got people thinking we were the bus terminal or asking directions to it. It got to the point where I could give directions to it in my sleep. However, I sometimes got the odd a**hole telling me my directions were wrong.
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Yeah! That reminds me actually of a story on a Barenaked Ladies live album (seriously). (I liked their first three albums.)
Anyway, Ed Robertson was playing a gig somewhere he’d never been to, walking around, and a lady walks up to him and asks him, “excuse me,” and if he can direct her to a specific place? He says, “Sorry ma’am, I’m not from around here, I’m lost too.”
She just responded to him, “WELL?!?!?”
He felt like saying, “Screw you, lady!” and maybe should have!
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What a douche.
I hate when things like that happen.
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I don’t know what it is, but I have the public think I work in every store I shop in. I was at the garden centre, and I had someone ask where they could find petunias. The other day I was in the campus bookstore and some random guy said, “yeah my daughter is looking for such and such textbook…” My response is the same: “Sorry, I don’t work here.” And they are always surprised. Do I look that comfortable shopping for garden sheers?
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I actually love when that happens to me. If they don’t accept my polite “I don’t work here”, I send ’em all over the store with wrong directions, or pretend to mark down items, screw with them any way I can.
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Ever see the Big Bang Theory when Sheldon as being asked all those computer questions?
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Yep! Not a big fan of the show, but I like that one. The best ever “I don’t work here, but…” award has to go to a couple of Detroit guys I heard of who drove up to Kmart in a white unmarked van. They had white overalls on, and a fridge cart, and went straight to the appliance dept. Loaded up a fridge, and just rolled it right out the door!! Manager even held the door for them!
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Sounds like Trailer Park Boys when they robbed that office of all its furniture. Exact same scenario!
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Moihaha! That’s one of my faves, Ricky and the ever-present smoke in one hand, grabbing chairs right out from under confused office people!!. I’ve worked as a mover, and I’ve seen it first hand- they NEVER QUESTION confidence.
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I love it. Ricky just has to name drop “Terry” or “Paul” or somebody from “head office”. Or like when he got out of a ticket from that cop.
“You know Jim, or Jim knows you?”
“Jim you mean my father Jim?”
“Oh wow I didn’t know he was your father! He mentioned he had a son on the force. Yeah him and my old man go way back.”
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Have you seen the new movie yet? Looks pretty good, ads crack me up.
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No I haven’t. I know it’ll be out on Netflix in September.
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I used to get that when I worked at the record store, but when I was visiting other branches as a customer! People would say, “Hey, do you have this?” And I’d fuckin’ show them anyway :)
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I was so burned out by idiots on the phone at work that I even now have a hard time answering the phone at home.
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Also, this boss… man, sounds like you’d get in trouble just for showing up, or breathing funny. Talk about wound too friggin’ tight.
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Well, maybe, but in the early days at least they were much more easy going. Every boss gets mad about stuff, but the problem with a collection of stories like this is that I don’t have many stories about, “It was a normal day. Stuff was good. Boss was pleasant. Had a nice dinner.”
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I was like that for a good long time.
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I would have sent him to the Station Hotel, at Victoria&Weber. And told him to shout “Fire” !!
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That sounds familiar, that location, I think they used to have concerts there? It’s a parking lot now.
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Country bands, sometimes blues. A friend’s wife waitressed there, told me stories about what a psychodump it was upstairs. Thought she was making it up until THAT FATEFUL DAY- I was actually waiting for the train at the VIA Station next door the day it burned (for the second time). When they began to evacuate, it was like a David Lynch movie spilling out onto the sidewalk. Blinking, emaciated speed freaks, ugly half-dressed hookers and their stumbling-drunk johns, a 500 lb ‘thing’ in a housecoat dragging a garbage bag THAT KEPT MOVING…… “shudder”
Glad to hear they finally razed it.
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Wow I don’t remember a fire at all.
The Via station, that whole corner, is completely different now. They are tearing most of that corner down to make room for the LRT. The strip plaza across Weber…gone…it’s gonna be completely different again in 5 years.
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Nothing stays the same, except the Song
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