#384: The Messenger

#384: The Messenger

I hate computer instant messenger services!  Actual conversation from the Record Store circa 2004-ish:

MSNBoss – “Mike, I’ve heard that you are using MSN Messenger at work against store policy.”

Me – “What?  No, that’s wrong.  I don’t even use MSN Messenger.”

Boss – “Are you calling the person who told me a liar?”

Me – “I guess so.  Who told you?”

Boss – “I’m not telling you that.  This your verbal warning.  If I hear about this again you’re getting a written warning.”

Me – “But that’s not fair, they’re wrong.  It wasn’t me!  I don’t even like MSN!”

Boss – “I don’t believe you. I think you are lying to me.  The other person has no reason to lie.”

So that one unfairly went on my record, and I maintain to this day that I HATED MSN MESSENGER!  If you’ve used it, you know what I’m talking about.  I had signed up for an account, but I found it to have no benefits and provided nothing but distraction.  Below, you will find an example of what it’s like to try and write (or do anything) with MSN Messenger on.

“It was a dark, stormy night on the coastline of the small uninhabited…” [MSN BEEP!] “…island.  The man wore a thin coat that did not protect him…” [BEEP!] [BEEP!] “…from the rain.  He dragged through the mud a large [BEEP!] canvas duffle bag that [BEEP!] was already soaked completely [BEEP!] through to its contents. The man shuffled onwards, awkwardly [BEEP!] pulling the load behind [BEEP!] him.  He grimaced as he readjusted his [BEEP!] GODDAMN THIS MSN I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PUNCH THE MONITOR IF IT BEEPS ONE MORE DAMN TIME!”

I don’t remember who talked me into signing up for MSN in the first place, but it was probably some girl that I was interested in at the time.  Once set up, my computer signed me in automatically at every boot, because I never figured out how to disable it afterwards.  Indeed, our store tech guy couldn’t even disable it on our work computers.  He could hide it and prevent it from starting at setup, but he couldn’t completely delete it from Windows.  Thanks, Microsoft.  The only employee that I knew for certain used it at work was Spoogecakes, who left herself logged in one day after her shift!

I did use email at work (just like the same bosses did) against store policy.  But MSN?  Hell no!  The reason I know that is that I hate MSN Messenger to this day, just like I hate chickpeas or lentils!  I had one, just like all the cool kids, but the sound of that “MSN beep” is still enough to make me jump out of my chair.

I couldn’t make it all the way through this video.


  1. I had MSN but rarely used it as I thought it was a waste of time. In fact I had too had a problem involving it while working as a substitute teacher and got me banned from working at one school. So I too hate MSN!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If the conversation went down exactly like that, that boss needed told off. Seriously, bring me proof of wrongdoing. If this re-telling is retrospect and contains the broad strokes of what was said, it’s still a whole lot of ass. People make me so tired. I sound like a misanthrope a lot of the time, but I am rarely wrong.

    As for MSN, the only good part of that acronym is Network. It’s the MS part that’s your problem.

    Also, here’s the original Messenger. We have this album here, it’s pretty damn great.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Broad strokes, but people who know that boss will tell you that is how they speak to certain people. I was definitely told by this person more than once, “Are you calling so and so a liar?” and that’s not cool to say. And if people think I’m exaggerating all I have to say is that I’m the one with the journal.

      Brilliant song. I’m definitely down with The Messenger.


  3. MSN was how my sis and I would text each other back in the day, but obvs not any more. Now, I can’t stand the Skype sounds (the “moo burrap!”). I was lucky that when MSN was most popular, I was working in an environment where we didn’t use computers, and thus, never got into trouble for using MSN (hospital kitchen)!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mooo burrap!

      I’m not really dissing people who used MSN effectively in their lives like you and your sis. However…when I sit there and receive a stream of message that look like this:

      whats up

      Then I wonder why the hell I added that person in the first place! So my beef with MSN is really my own fault. It’s the people I added.

      The very last person I added was my wife. LOL


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