#634: Cancer Chronicles 4: It’s Time

The past week was stressful for Jen and I.  We met the surgeon on January 9.  He didn’t tell us anything we didn’t expect, but still:  it was happening.  It was real.  Time was ticking we couldn’t shut it out of our minds anymore.  We had to get ready to Jen’s surgery and aftercare.

Three hours of surgery will be following by approximately a week in the hospital for recovery.  Then, six to eight weeks recovery at home.  Dr. Sugimoto assured me that if Jen’s home care was too difficult, they would arrange for help.  She’s applied for Mobility Plus, the special busses for the disabled.  We both really like “Dr. Sugi” as the staff call him.  When Jen had her biopsy, she had abnormal bleeding.  Dr. Sugimoto came back from home to re-do the gauze.  He’s amazing, honestly.

Even though we have incredible support, we are only human.  Both of us.  After the last meeting with Dr. Sugimoto, I was unable to go back to work.  The weight of this is affecting me emotionally and physically.  I hoped I could be stronger.  I set a goal for myself to keep going to work.  That was my mistake and I knew it.  It wasn’t a realistic goal.  I knew there was a real chance I wouldn’t be able to go to work every day.  So, I felt like a failure and it was my fault.  I guilt myself like nobody else can.

We’ve never gone through something like this.  I don’t know how we’re “supposed” to feel and act.

I think we’re prepared as much as one can be.  When she comes home there will be a new set of challenges, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  When I have news to post, I’ll post it.

In the meantime, every comment and prayer is appreciated.  We love you and we’ll be back soon.

 

 

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17 comments

  1. Hi Mike
    This is a hard journey I know I have taken it. I too am part of the Dr. Sugi fan club he and his staff are awesome and wonderful. I had wonderful help from them and a great deal of appreciation for the nurses at the hospital in London they are amazing and helpful as well. I understand how you feel not knowing how to feel it is a roller coaster. Rob would be the one to help you best as he has been right where you are now. Please call either of us if you or Jennifer need to talk we will be happy to help if we can.

    Like

  2. Jen needs you to take care of yourself! If this means you can’t go to work, that doesn’t make you a failure, Mike. You can’t do it all. Jen is priority 1. Break this up in stages; The surgery, the after surgery…The surgery is big time transition- a life changing event in and of itself aside from this Cancer thing. The weight of its impact is not something to overlook. This will take some time to get over, and you may feel you and Jen need to grieve it.
    Then it’s Jen recovering and the afterwards. This is big time heavy stuff!! You are human, and no one would think you were a failure for not being able to handle it all. It’s understandable!

    Liked by 1 person

        1. So much support! She reads the messages and it gives her a real pump. Just talked to her now and we are plotting her escape from the hospital tomorrow. Can’t wait.

          Like

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