The past week was stressful for Jen and I. We met the surgeon on January 9. He didn’t tell us anything we didn’t expect, but still: it was happening. It was real. Time was ticking we couldn’t shut it out of our minds anymore. We had to get ready to Jen’s surgery and aftercare.
Three hours of surgery will be following by approximately a week in the hospital for recovery. Then, six to eight weeks recovery at home. Dr. Sugimoto assured me that if Jen’s home care was too difficult, they would arrange for help. She’s applied for Mobility Plus, the special busses for the disabled. We both really like “Dr. Sugi” as the staff call him. When Jen had her biopsy, she had abnormal bleeding. Dr. Sugimoto came back from home to re-do the gauze. He’s amazing, honestly.
Even though we have incredible support, we are only human. Both of us. After the last meeting with Dr. Sugimoto, I was unable to go back to work. The weight of this is affecting me emotionally and physically. I hoped I could be stronger. I set a goal for myself to keep going to work. That was my mistake and I knew it. It wasn’t a realistic goal. I knew there was a real chance I wouldn’t be able to go to work every day. So, I felt like a failure and it was my fault. I guilt myself like nobody else can.
We’ve never gone through something like this. I don’t know how we’re “supposed” to feel and act.
I think we’re prepared as much as one can be. When she comes home there will be a new set of challenges, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. When I have news to post, I’ll post it.
In the meantime, every comment and prayer is appreciated. We love you and we’ll be back soon.