RECORD STORE TALES #1225: A Mighty Great Fall

 

The big plastic bin of garbage lay before me, to take out as I go.  We had a bathroom pipe break the day before, so in the plastic bin was not just your average garbage, but also an impressively rusted bathroom drain pipe.  I tucked my two cell phones (work and personal) into my shirt pocket as I always did, and picked the plastic bin up with the legs.  Navigating the simple act of taking out an awkward bin of garbage is tricky at age 53.  Carrying the brunt of the weight against my chest, I walked the garbage out to the dumpster.

I opened the lid a crack, struggled a bit, and heaved the trash into the dumpster.  Job done, and off to work.

I’m a nervous nelly and I’m always checking my pockets.  Right front pants; keys.  Left front pants; wallet.  Front right shirt…front right shirt.

Shit.

My phones.  Both of them.  Gone.

I ran back to the dumpster and opened the lid in the pitch black.  Fortunately, one of my phones was lit up.  They must have fallen in with the garbage, when I dumped the contents of the plastic bin into the dumpster.

I’ve never gone dumpster diving in my life.  I have zero experience in this.  Well, I was about to get my wings.  I calculated the risk as I lifted myself up.  I got my right leg up.

“This is easy,” I actually thought to myself.  “I wonder if they design these things so you can get in if you have to.”

I lifted my whole body over the edge, and lost control of the situation quickly.  I tipped over to the left and landed with a mighty crash on my left side.

“Fuck!” I might have shouted.  I don’t remember.  That’s when the adrenaline kicked in.  Even though I could not see, one lit-up phone led to another, and I retrieved both.  Nothing gets the adrenaline flowing like being stuck in a dumpster, and so I somehow lifted myself back up and out.  I landed on both feet this time.  I truly do not know how I did it, but as soon as I hit the ground, I began slowly walking it off and focusing on breathing.  It only occurred to me later what would have happened if I landed on something sharp.

I was convinced that nothing was broken, so I got in the car and went to work.  When I got there, I felt the adrenaline wearing off and more pain settling in.  I tried to move a box of documents to be shredded and couldn’t even budge it.  That’s when I changed my mind and decided to go to the hospital.

According to my notes, I was admitted right around 7:30 and discharged at 1:00; not a bad turnaround.

The nurses and attendants with all very helpful and sympathetic.  They helped me out of my chair when I needed a lift.  Between all the nurses and doctors, I think I told my story five times.  Each time, it was hard not to laugh at the stupidity.  That’s when I realized how much it hurt to laugh.  It was a fairly easy wait.  I bought with me a book, which was noted by the triage nurse.  “Oh, I see you brought a book, smart!”  I mumbled something about thinking ahead, but what came out was more or less gibberish.  The book I had with me was, of course, dystopian fiction: 2546: Harbinger of The Equinox by Australian writer Violeta M Bagia.  I ripped through the first 60 pages before I was let go.

X-rays were thorough.  Nothing broken.  It’s not as simple as that though, as this is an injury that can get worse if not cared for.

They gave me three yellow pills and three white pills.  I could definitely feel their effects as breathing became easier.  Getting up?  Not so easy.  Still working on that.  It requires a system of sequential movements that I haven’t quite mastered yet.

I got myself home.  My mom bought me a sandwich.  It was the first food I’d had all day.

I can’t see any marks on my body, but I sure bet that will change in the coming days.

Having sat long enough, now I move to go lay down a while.  Wish me luck.  I’m sure this isn’t the end of this story.