REVIEW: Bon Jovi – Red Hot and 2 Parts Live (1985 EP)

 

All hail the mighty Aaron of the KMA.  He is a very generous man.  He is known to send parcels to friends all over the world, and he always keeps an eye out for things that people look for.  He’s incredible that way, and he deserves a tremendous amount of recognition for all he does for the Community.

 

BON JOVI – Red Hot and 2 Parts Live (1985 red vinyl Polygram EP)

Preamble:  Although I forgot about this, back in the fall Aaron did his regular Toronto shopping excursion.  He found a Bon Jovi 12″ single that I’d never seen before.  But I was tapped out, cash wise.  I had done my own Toronto trip to pick up an an absolutely massive toy for my collection.  Apparently he texted me about the Bon Jovi, and I asked him to leave it there because I couldn’t afford it.  Naturally he bought it anyway and secretly stashed it away.

Aaron sent me a big box of goodies for Christmas (and reviews of those will come too!) but the Bon Jovi was the centerpiece.  I didn’t actually open this box of goodies until Easter.  Due to illness and circumstance, our family finally just got around to celebrating Christmas.  I saved his box until then.

This three song EP, on brilliant clear red vinyl, has two live tracks and one remix.  “Hardest Part is the Night” (from 7800° Fahrenheit) was mixed by David Theoner though the differences are minor.  Interestingly, it was also issued as its own single with “Always Run to You” on the B-side.

The other two tracks were recorded live in Japan in 1985.  “Tokyo Road” was later released on the remastered 7800° Fahrenheit as a bonus track, but that CD doesn’t look nearly as pretty as this vinyl.  It’s a little odd hearing Jon introduce it by saying, “Welcome back to ‘Tokyo Road’…” when in fact they were the visitors in Tokyo, but whatever!  Jon’s the professional frontman, not me.  “In and Out of Love” is the real treat, featuring an extended guitar solo, and a different version from the one on 7800° Fahrenheit.  The track is still over 10 minutes long with all that (smoking) noodlin’, but Sambora fans who miss him will want to have this.

Fans of early Bon Jovi — hunt down this EP.  Get it or live your life without this awesome live Bon Jovi that you won’t get otherwise.

4.5/5 stars

 

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REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – Season 12 (2018)


TRAILER PARK BOYS – Season 12 
(2018 Netflix)

Like any franchise with an extended lifespan, Trailer Park Boys has fans both devoted and hyper-critical.  Many are just glad the series is still continuing and still funny.  Others whine that the style has changed and many original cast members (Jonathan Torrens, Lucy Decoutere, Mike Jackson, Barrie Dunn) have left.  The death of John Dunsworth (Mr. Lahey) late last year put things into perspective.  Just be glad we have Trailer Park Boys at all.  John finished season 12, which was lovingly dedicated to him.

What’s the Boys’ deal this time?  After much pressuring from Bubbles, Ricky and Julian agree to go “legit”.  Bubbles is already running a successful brewing company.  Green Bastard beer is a hit.  Julian gets a job working for Gary in security at the mall.  And Ricky?  Odd jobs around the park.  The first is an unmitigated and hilarious disaster.  Things go way off the rails from there.

Lahey and Randy are back, with Bo-bandy trying to keep Jim from causing trouble.  But they need help supervising the park, and hire old nemesis George Green.  Barb Lahey’s still in charge, and a thorn in everyone’s side.  Sarah, Trinity, Jacob and Corey still reside in Sunnyvale.  And wait until you see what Ricky has done to the Shitmobile.  (Turned it into a two storey home with two TVs and both upstairs and downstairs bathrooms.)

One of the reasons you don’t miss Lucy this season is because she’s been replaced by Susan (Susan Kent of This Hour Has 22 Minutes).  She’s batshit crazy and mad for Ricky.  Their on-off-on-off relationship is a source of many of Ricky’s problems.  All he really needs is a break.  Maybe he’ll catch one from some “Angel Shit Sent Down From Jesus God”.

You’ll see.

Julian might even have a shot at love.  An old girlfriend, from all the way back in season one, reappears in his life….

The season ties into the real world release of the official Trailer Park Boys beer called Freedom 35.  It’s a fictional take on how that beer got to the store shelves.  Bubbles, who now drives his own green truck, has a secret recipe and it’s caught the notice of the Halifax Beer company.  They want to pay Bubbles to sell his brew!  Can Bubbles ramp up his production, or will Ricky fuck it all up?

Without spoiling too much of the fun, the best episode this season is called “Happy Birthday Bubbles”.  If you liked the old episode when the Boys played “space” and fired a rocket, you’ll love this one.  I hope Steve Rogers makes a full recovery though his helicopter sure is fucked.  Best of all, this season we return to the arena where Ricky shines like no other:  the courtroom.  Judge Ticklebury presiding.

Knowing that Jim Lahey has taken his last drinky-poo gives the season a bittersweet flavour.  How does the show continue now?  We don’t know, so just enjoy season 12 for what it is.

4.5/5 stars

 

Sunday Chuckle: Not Kiss!

A good buddy of mine has three kids.  He will often play them music via Youtube, and they have been enjoying classic Kiss lately.  In fact about a year ago, I myself was trying to teach them the correct words to “Shout it Out Loud”, for which they were singing their own variation.

My buddy tells me that the other day, Youtube shuffled to the “Lick It Up” video and he pointed out, “Look kids, Kiss.”  His infant daughter looked up, saw four guys with no makeup on, and yelled, “NOT KISS!”

Smart kid.  Just a child and already knows “new” Kiss from “old” Kiss.

#670: Censor This Too! – The Star Chamber

GETTING MORE TALE #670: Censor This Too! – The Star Chamber

This is the sequel to Getting More Tale #669: Censor This! In a footnote to that story, we discussed the evil, corrupt English department at Grand River Collegiate Institute in the school year 1990-1991.  With music as part and parcel of everything I do, here is the students’ revenge.

This story was written by myself and Andrew “Abbis” anonymously.  (You may remember “Abbis” was the subject of a Zeppelin-esque song I co-wrote called “Abbis’ Stomp”.)

Context:  A brilliant young student named Danny was accused of plagiarism for his independent study on part of Milton’s Paradise Lost.  The entire English department were united in their belief that he had cheated, not realizing this young dark-skinned kid with a strange sounding last name was actually just really gifted.  In a parallel to Paradise Lost, Danny soon found himself in a hell of his own.  The school treated him shamefully, but could not prove he cheated.  Instead of the A+ he deserved, he got a “no report”.  This was his final year of highschool, and he wanted that A+ to get into the university program he had applied to.

This story was our revenge on his behalf.

I take a lot of pride in our creative little rebellion. This was about as misbehaved as we got.  Our scathing story The Star Chamber (an obvious mashup of MacBeth and Star Wars) was published in the underground school newspaper, in June of 1991, exactly as you see it below.  Pay attention for a Zeppelin reference and plenty of Shakespeare.  My character is an homage to Han Solo named…Guitar Solo.

Please enjoy.

THE STAR CHAMBER
(The Uncensored Version)

BY: Robin Hood and his Merry Men

 

A long time ago, in a Collegiate Institute far, far away, a battle was being waged between the forces of Good and English.  The leader of the rebel forces, Danny “The Terror” Skywalker, had for months been a thorn in the side of the English Empire…

ACT I, SCENE I

In the caverns of Smithers the Hutt.

Enter with a flourish and really neato special effects, Darth Chamber and his English entourage.

DARTH:  (To Smithers) By Jupiter!  We must capture that foul wretch known to all as Danny “The Terror” Skywalker.

SMITHERS:  I say yea my Lord.

Exuent Darth and entourage with an even bigger flourish.

END OF SCENE

ACT I, SCENE II

Enter Danny, his faithful companion Guitar Solo at his side, zipping through space in the Tarachan Falcon.

Their favourite album, “Ten Classic Books in Ten Minutes” is suddenly drowned out by the wail of an intergalactic police siren.

Enter Robo Bolt, with colours and drums.

DANNY:  What hast thou pulled me over for, sucka?

ROBO:  Dost thou thinks that “E.N.G.-S.U.K.S.” is an appropriate licence plate for thine vehicle?

DANNY:  What say you?  Thou art a strange fellow.

ROBO:  Your horrid image doth unfix my hair!

DANNY:  Methinks thou art (and I quote Willie Shakespeare) “a coward, a rascal, an eater of broken meats, a beggar, and a lily livered knave”.

ROBO:  Draw thine sword, I’ll make a sop’ o’ the moonshine of you!  (they draw and fight, Guitar Solo slain by accident.)

GUITAR:  To be…or not to be.  What a stupid question!  GAHK!!!  (he dies.  Robo is then slain.)

ROBO:  I am slain, I am slain, dead, defunct, kicking the bucket, etc. etc. etc.  (he dies.)

DANNY:  What have I done, o Lord, o nature?  What evil spirit hast possessed me?

Exit Danny, delirious from the battle.

END OF SCENE

ACT I, SCENE III

Enter Darth Chamber having been notified of Robo’s death, mad, and garlanded with wild flowers.

DARTH:  Oh what foul deed, what evil, for my fair fair Robo.  He is killed.  (Enter Danny, furious with rage upon sighting Darth.)  Draw, or surely thou shalt perish!

DANNY:  Have at you, bud!

Enter Smithers from behind.

Smithers strikes Danny over the head with Roget’s Unabridged Dictionary, knocking him unconscious.

END OF SCENE AND ACT

ACT II, SCENE I

Later in the Star Chamber.

First trumpet.
Second trumpet.
Third trumpet.
       Trumpet answers within.
Enter Darth Chamber and Smithers, armed, a trumpet before them, attendants, the Fool, Edgar, Edmund, Oberon, The Duke of Cornwall, Elvis, drums and colours, Danny Skywalker in chains, Gloucester wandering around outside.

DARTH:  Hark, four-score and seven years ago this treasonous wretch, Danny Skywalker, hath committed the ultimate crime against the English Empire.  May his trunk be devoured by butterflies.  By Jupiter!  Behold his foul deed.  (cries of astonishment within)  He hast plagiarised the almighty Milton!!!

DANNY:  Oh Hell!  Oh spite me!  What manner of accusation is this?

DARTH:  Silence scurvy knave.  (Darth to attendants) Place him in…(drum solo)…the machine!

SMITHERS:  Goody goody gosh!  By the fairies, Darth is mighty!

FOOL:  (sings)  O nuncle, court holy water in a dry house is better than this rain water out o’ door.  For he’s buying a Stairway to Heaven.

Exuent all.  Death march, colours and banners.

END OF SCENE

ACT II, SCENE II

Enter with a flourish, Darth Chamber and Smithers the Hutt, with entourage carrying fluorescent banners with matching tights, led by an Old Man.  Danny strapped to the machine.

The machine, a relic left over from the late 20th century, known as a “Dunking Machine” is filled with water, with Danny strapped to a chair above it.

DARTH:  By Jupiter!  My seated heart dost knock at my ribs.  For the time is near o’ blossom.

SMITHERS:  Skywalker thy trial begins!  If thou float’est, thou art guilty of plagiarism and shalt be sentenced to die…slowly.  First we shall tear all the of the hair from thine body, then soak you in lemon juice, and Kraft salad oil.  Then we shall take you out to the Dune Sea you shall be eaten alive by the almighty Mouth, while’st being garnished with tomatoes and olives!  But if thou sink’est and die’est, we shall know that thou art innocent and we shall let’est you go.

DANNY:  Sorry, but I’ve got a prior engagement.

Enter Abbis Man’s ghost.  (See last issue — ed.)

Abbis Man runs onto the stage, dropkicks Darth, hits Smithers with the D.D.T. and frees Danny from the machine.

DANNY:  Thanks bud!

ABBIS:  No problem, let’s get a beer!

Exuent, too tired to flourish.

DARTH:  Gosh darn it!  Methinks this ending really sucks!

Exuent Darth and all remaining.

END OF SCENE AND ACT

EPILOGUE

Danny and Abbis Man, having formed a powerful alliance, travel to Earth where they take on aliases and fight crime as Siskel and Ebert.

 

#669: Censor This!

GETTING MORE TALE #669: Censor This!

A sequel to Record Store Tales Part 219: Parental Advisory – Explicit Lyrics

Grade 13, otherwise known as our “OAC” (Ontario Academic Credit) year, was critical.  They don’t have grade 13 anymore, which is a real shame.  Some of the best courses were in that year.  I worked my tail off, and got accepted into Wilfrid Laurier University’s History program.  That’s why today, I try and mix music and history together in many of my articles.  You’ve read about Billy the Kid and the real wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald here, all within the context of songs.  It’s what I enjoy; it’s what I do.

Some of my friends were taking some serious math courses, to enter Computer Science at the University of Waterloo.  Those guys worked diligently and I barely saw them all year.  I worked hard too, but my courses weren’t like theirs.  I had two maths (Algebra and Finite) and three courses in the arts:  American/Canadian History, Sociology, and English.  All three courses required a major project called an “independent study”.  And me being me, I worked music into each.

These were massive projects.  An entire term was spent working on them.  Because I had so many arts credits, I had more than the average independent study to complete.  By sheer bad luck, all three of them were due in the same week.  All three also involved a full one-hour presentation.  I busted my ass and delivered the goods, in my own unique way.

First was American and Canadian history, which was easily the most intense of the independent studies.  I chose to do the War of 1812, which I thought I’d never get because everybody would want to do it.  Wrong!  Nobody else picked it; it was all mine.  My goal was to research books by Canadian and American authors, and compare and contrast their perspectives on the war.  It was a very enlightening experience.  Do you know how hard it is to find a book written by an American author on the War of 1812?  Back then, virtually impossible.  I had to resort to American history books on broader subjects.  Meanwhile, Canadian books were numerous.  For example I used one by noted historian Pierre Burton.

This disparity made it clear how differently the two nations viewed the war.  Americans didn’t spend much time thinking about it, while Canadians were eager to boast that it was us who beat the Yankees (more accurately, the British empire beat them) and burned down the White House (that was pretty much us Canucks*).  American authors barely mention the war, but don’t consider it a loss.  They tended to focus instead of the Battle of New Orleans.  This battle took place after the war had officially ended, but because it was an American victory, it was celebrated.

I illustrated this in song.  Johnny Horton’s “The Battle of New Orleans” was enjoyed by the classroom, but the point was, it demonstrates how important this one battle was to America, in context of their conflicts with the Brits.  Canadians would rather talk about our fiery misadventures at the White House.

I prepared intensely for the presentation.  The essay portion was done, so I rehearsed the spoken part several times to get the timing just right.  You had to leave time at the end for questions.  That was another challenge:  you couldn’t prepare for the class questions at the end!  You had to know your stuff and be able to answer things off the cuff, which I did.  A+!  Thanks, Johnny Horton, for all your help and inspiration!

Admittedly, I didn’t put as much effort into the English independent study. I rolled with what I knew best, which was music. For my project I did “Lyrics and Poems on War”. The Gulf War was on, and it was topical. For the presentation portion, I wore a shirt with a picture of Elvis Presley on a tank. It said “Iran, Iraq, I roll”. I hated that shirt; it was a gift from my dad, but it was actually perfect for that day. Some of the lyrics I used were Guns N’ Roses (“Civil War”), Sammy Hagar (“V.O.A.”), Queensryche (“Surgical Strike”) and Iron Maiden (several including “Tailgunner”). I got an OK grade on that one. Considering my work load, I was glad just to have completed it.

For Sociology, I chose censorship as my subject. I knew this would be easy for me to do. Finding books and articles on the subject was easy, but I had an ace in the hole. I had amassed a huge collection of video interviews with rock stars, and many were on the subject of censorship. I didn’t take the easy route; I worked very hard. The only advantage I had was access to my own library, which was extensive, and I knew where every single quote was that I needed.

I put together a video tape with all the censorship related interviews: Blackie Lawless, Bruce Dickinson, Dee Snider, Alice Cooper, and Gene Simmons among many.  I also used the words of Frank Zappa and George Bernard Shaw. My stance was clearly anti-censorship.

By coincidence, the Sociology teacher was also my History teacher from the prior presentation. In a way that made things easier. She was an amazing teacher and part of the project involved sitting down with her every step of the way. I had to do a proposal for each of the projects, and check-ins as things progressed. This is all normal at the University level, but for highschool, it was all new to me. It enabled her to get to know me a bit better and guide me to better results.

One of the things I wanted to do in the presentation was show the class some album covers that had been banned.  I learned from one of the interviews that Scorpions covers were routinely banned.  In one of our consultations, I showed the teacher the two banned covers.  I figured there was no way she would let me use Lovedrive.  A woman’s breast is partly exposed with a man’s bubble gum all over it.  Love at First Sting is a rather sexy shot of a woman getting a thigh tattoo.  You can see some sideboob,  but to me it seemed less dirty.

To my surprise, she chose Lovedrive and said “no” to Love at First Sting.  I don’t know if it was the tattoo or the sideboob, but she was clear that I couldn’t use it.

I can’t explain what came over me next.  As I rehearsed the presentation the night before, I decided to use both anyway.  I didn’t have any other banned album covers that I could use.  I didn’t want to present Appetite for Destruction to the class because it’s just a little rape-y.  I just didn’t think Love at First Sting was that bad, and I didn’t have anything else to replace it with.  I wanted to have more than just one example of a banned cover.

So, I defied my own censor, and used both.  As I handed out the album covers for the class to look at, I caught my teacher’s glance.  Not pleased!  But she said nothing.

I nailed that presentation.  It was another “A”, but she did speak to me afterwards.  “You used it anyway!” she said, but I had already won.  She knew I did a great job so she didn’t penalize me.

Was I ever glad when that week was over.  I worked so hard; I had a little schedule in my locker to make sure I kept on top of everything.  I remember walking out of the final presentation, tired but feeling so good.  There was only one girl who was in all three of those classes.  She came up afterwards and asked, “Didn’t you do two other presentations this week?”  I sure did!  I admitted that I chose subjects that I was knowledgeable about, but that didn’t mean I didn’t sink many many hours into it.

One of my friends didn’t have it so easy.  Danesh was concentrating on his math courses, but English was compulsory for everyone.  He chose to do his independent study on Milton’s Paradise Lost.  He studied it meticulously and wrote an essay so professional that he was pulled out of class one day and accused of plagiarism.  He had to defend his essay, for hours, in front of the entire sceptical English department.  All of his friends knew he wasn’t a cheat.  He was just gifted.  The constant meetings with the English department absolutely tapped him out.  What they did to him was unfair and we all knew it.  There were some pretty scathing things said about the English department in the underground school newspaper, which I may or may not have had anything to do with.**  In the end they declined to give him an F, but instead gave him a “no report”.  And they were 100% in the wrong.***

It wasn’t a pleasant note on which to end highschool for us.  At least I was able to give myself a little bit of a rock and roll ending!

 

* My biased Canadian opinion.

** I co-wrote a new version of MacBeth, in Shakespearean English, with Danesh as the hero, all the teachers as villains, and myself as his hotshot pilot sidekick Guitar Solo.  I still have it.  

*** I don’t know if race was a factor or not, but Danesh was a quiet, dark-skinned Guyanese kid.  The teachers were all white, and our teacher that year was actually a fill-in.  He didn’t know Danesh at all.

REVIEW Round-up: Guns N’ Roses “Not In This Lifetime” Tour (Guest editorial)

GUNS N’ ROSES “Not In This Lifetime” Tour

By David Martin

A little while ago we reached back to the late-‘80s with a review of a Guns N’ Roses live session in New York. It wasn’t a perfect recording, but it’s a nice glance back to the early days of a band that’s become one of rock’s truly iconic groups. Another interesting thing about looking back at this time is that Guns N’ Roses has, against the odds, become something of a modern sensation.

Our first hints ought to have been when GNR started showing up anew in non-music pop culture. The band put out a vague teaser trailer before screenings of Star Wars: The Force Awakens for instance, and also partnered with an online developer to produce a video game in 2016. The latter was particularly random, though it makes sense when you look at the industry. An Australian gaming resource site states simply that presentation is a huge factor on betting and gaming sites, and part of that means introducing visually and sonically interesting games – like a slot reel based on an iconic rock band, in this case.

Neither a teaser trailer nor a video game tipped us off to what would actually start in the spring of 2016 – one of the most surprising tours, arguably in all of musical history. The band took the stage at Coachella – with Axl Rose and Slash sharing the stage for the first time in years – and kicked off an international slate of shows that ultimately extended into 2018. The tour, dubbed “Not In This Lifetime,” has become one of the most successful in modern history from a financial standpoint. And while reviewing it in its entirety isn’t easy (or necessarily possible) we can look at a roundup of reviews for particular shows along the way.

Coachella (April ’16) – “The magic was absent.” This was a take from Vice, building on a headline suggesting that Guns N’ Roses had shown its age at the Coachella show. The review noted hints of pleasure when the band played the hits, as well as Slash’s enduring skill, but ultimately pointed to a lack of chemistry and the simple ravages of time as reasons for an underwhelming reunion.

Detroit (June ’16) – “This was history being made.” This comment came from none other than Rolling Stone, in a piece that directly refuted some of the earlier reviews. Citing a straightened out lineup and an Axl Rose out of the foot cast he’d appeared in for Coachella, it painted the picture of a reunion tour that had found its groove.

London (June ’17) – “You can’t blow the roof off a stadium that doesn’t have one, but they damn well tried.” So said The Guardian after one of GNR’s European shows, painting a picture not only of an electric performance, but of the thrill for an original fan seeing the band back in action again.

Cleveland (October ’17) – “Guns N’ Roses have no intention of coasting to the finish line.” This was a take offered on one of the tour’s later dates. Not only was it yet another positive review, but it was one with the perspective to mention the almost universally positive response to the tour – as well as growing hopes of fresh material from the group.

All in all the impression left by the “Not In This Lifetime” tour is that while there are occasional frustrations stemming from the simple fact that the band’s members have aged, it’s been good to have them back. And on some occasions, they’ve absolutely wowed all their old fans.

 

#668: It’s All in the Name

GETTING MORE TALE #668: It’s All in the Name

At the Record Store, we had a habit of giving customers nicknames.  It made them easier to remember…and it was sometimes good for a chuckle!

Some customers, however, needed no nicknames.  Their real names were definitely historic enough.

First there was Bill.  Bill Board.

If I had a name like Bill Board, I think I would prefer to introduce myself just as “Bill”.  Or I’d just go by William.  We had a few CDs on order for Bill Board.  It was one of those names that made you say “Come again?”

Charlie Brown was another one.  You were not required to give a last name to order a CD.  Only a first name was necessary.  The first time he phoned, Charlie Brown gave me both his names.  He requsted a CD.  I asked for his info, and I laughed!  I thought it was a prank call.  “You laughing at my name?” he said.  “That’s my real name!”  Charlie Brown, you will never be forgotten.

There was also a fellow named Lynn, no last name given.  Yes, there are men out there named Lynn.  It’s unusual but not unheard of.  However when Lynn was put in the system for a CD order, we made sure to add the notation “Lynn – a man”.  That way when you called for Lynn and left a message, you wouldn’t say something like “Please tell her that the CD she ordered was in.”  We’d know it was a guy and which pronoun to use.  That’s how “Lynn – a man” made it into our order entries!

Finally, we had Zoltan.  Zoltan Zonger.  What an awesome name!  It recalls the “Zoltan cultists” from the movie Dude, Where’s My Car.  Remember them?  “ZOLTAN!”  Good old Zoltan, “Double-Z”.  He was not seen much, but his name was there in the order system.  It’s the kind of name that jumped out every time you scrolled past it.  Zoltan Zonger.

Fuck, I wish I had a cool name like Zoltan Zonger!

REVIEW: Winger – The Very Best Of (2001)

WINGER – The Very Best Of (2001 Atlantic/Rhino)

Winger broke up in ’94, but reunited in 2001.  Part of the reunion entailed new music.  Before they finally released a new album (Winger IV), they tested the waters with one new song on The Very Best of Winger.  Yes indeed, you had to buy a “greatest hits” to get the new song.  At least Winger also gave you a Japanese bonus track for your money too.

New tune “On the Inside” was written for Pull (their third album and last before breakup) but recorded for Very Best Of.  It’s a chunky, heavy tune with splashes of anthemic keyboard in the chorus.  It really underlines that Winger could write and play with integrity when they wanted to.  Reb Beach’s solo is unorthodox and outside the box.  “Hell to Pay” is listed as an outtake, but it was actually released as a Japanese bonus track to Pull.  Stuff like this saves collectors for shelling out mucho dinero for a Japanese import.  Good sassy tune, and listen for that scorching outro.

Pull was a record that never got a shot, so it’s OK that the first chunk of tunes are from that album.  It deserved a second chance.  These are standout songs:  “Blind Revolution Mad” smokes white hot, and with depth.  “Down Incognito” has a bright, memorable chorus contrasted with groovy verses.  90s-style riffing worked perfectly on the track “Junkyard Dog”, a seven-minute thrill ride through different textures.  Winger were not playing it simple.  Even their ballads from that era have more heft.  “Spell I’m Under” has edge under those layered melodies.  Few songs are as starkly lovely as “Who’s the One”.

The Very Best of Winger takes a dive after the Pull material.  The CD is in reverse chronological order, which almost never works.  Yes, it highlights the most current sounding music, but at the cost of consistency.  Winger II: In the Heart of the Young was, let’s be honest, not good.  The ballads were sappier and the rockers too cheesy.  Only “Rainbow in the Rose” really fits on this set.  Past the dreck, the four singles from album #1 are included.  This means the CD at least ends on an up, though the ballad “Headed for a Heartbreak” is a bit anti-climatic.

Go for The Very Best of Winger if:

a) you want to check this band out, or

b) you want the rarities.

Your needs might be met by just buying Pull.

3.5/5 stars

PRESS RELEASE: Canadian supergroup SNOWSHOE call it a day

They said it was too good to last and they were right!  A mere year after announcing their formation, SNOWSHOE are announcing their dissolution.

Personality conflicts erupted on 2017’s Eternal Winter tour, and rifts could not be mended.

“The problem,” says singer/guitarist BILLY SOL HUROK, “is that IRVING COHEN is impossible to tour with.  He eats the most foul shit, and then farts unrepentantly all over the tour bus.  He doesn’t even care.  He thinks it’s funny.  JOHN (Y. SCHMENGE, drums) and I said ‘enough is enough’.  We can no longer work with Irv,” said Hurok.

“It’s not like we didn’t try,” continues the guitarist.  “When you’re on a bus driving from Puvirnituq, Quebec all the way to Thunder Bay and some guy is dropping toxic shitclouds everywhere, something’s gonna give.

“We stopped at some shitty convenience store in the middle of nowhere Ontario to buy the guy some fuckin’ Beano.  At first he refused to take it.  He actually said to my face, and I quote, ‘You’re just trying to take away my super power.’  Yes he referred to his farts as his ‘super power’.  Eventually John got him in a headlock and we made him take the whole fuckin’ bottle of Beano.  And it did nothing!

“Touring is hard,” concludes Billy Sol.  “You’re living on top of each other in a bus, usually with broken heat or broken A/C depending on the season.  Then some jackass decides to unload his colon in your bunk.  By the time we hit Thunder Bay I knew this band wasn’t gonna survive.  Amazingly, we finished the tour.  All eight gigs.  We came to blows in Thunder Bay.  We were at soundcheck at the venue, Deke’s Palace.  Well the fuckin’ owner of the place, Deke Williams, comes out of his office and says, ‘Who the fuck just farted in here?’  He said he wasn’t gonna pay us if Irv didn’t cut it out and that’s when I threw the first punch.  Irv folded like a napkin.  Then the opening band INUKSHUK jumped in just because they’re crazy.  The cops had to come out to that one.”

Though the trio recorded an album Eternal Winter, it has been shelved indefinitely with no plans for release.

“I have no desire to revisit that record,” says Billy.  “I wouldn’t be surprised if the farts soaked into the tape and dissolved it completely, and I don’t care.”

What is next for the three musicians?

“Well Irv can go fuck himself, that’s #1,” Billy chuckled.  “Me and John might get into house painting next.  He had a good business going up there in Churchill Manitoba and we’re looking into that.  Fuck touring!”

 

#667: Cancer Chronicles 11

You might have noticed I’ve been quiet the last few days. I have not been able to respond to comments. The reason is, once again, I am supporting someone who has cancer. This person is very close to both Jen and I. They just had their successful surgery yesterday.  Now, on to chemo.

It’s all very much deja-vu.  Hotel rooms out of town, hospital waiting rooms, doctors and nurses.  Yesterday we clocked 10 hours waiting at the hospital.  That’s a long day — longer than a work day, and twice as tiring.  My dad said to me, “I think you deserve the Congressional Medal of Honor”.  But that’s only for Americans.  I’ll settle for a plate of sushi at the end of it.

Fuck cancer.  Two weeks ago, an original Sausagefester died of cancer.  I’ve known him for 23 years.  Some of the guys have known him since childhood.  His absence this summer will be deeply felt.  We will all miss our friend in the orange boiler suit.

These are dark days.  Neither of them wanted any online attention, so I’m being purposely vague.   Just know that 2018 has already taken a toll, and it’s only 1/4 of the way done.

Music has been a blessing, as always.  Yesterday the clever frivolity of Spinal Tap kept my spirits up.  It’s impossible not to laugh at the absurd “Stonehenge” or the just plain funny “Big Bottom”.  (“Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got em.”)

Fuck the dark days.  I do not want to be dragged down by them.  I also don’t want any more of my loved ones to get sick, but we know we have no control over that.  That is the struggle of life.  All I can do is try to keep smiling.  So here’s Spinal Tap.  Enjoy.

 

Look for Derek Smalls’ solo debut, Smalls Change, April 13 2018.