bruce dickinson

REVIEW: Iron Maiden – Live After Death (1985,1996 bonus CD, 1998 remastered edition)

Part 8 of my series of Iron Maiden reviews!

IRON MAIDEN – Live After Death (1985, 1996 bonus CD, 1998 remastered edition)

…We shall go on to the end.  We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be.  We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender!

With that dramatic, adrenaline pumping speech from Winston Churchill, Iron Maiden hit the stage, careening across the boards ripping to shreds the opening riff to “Aces High”, guitars cranked and perfectly captured by producer Martin “Live Animal” Birch! Live After Death may be the perfect live metal album.  Running over a mammoth 100 minutes (on LP anyway), it required specially skilled engineers to cut the vinyl, so long were the records!

I have played this album so many times I could review it in my sleep. I own three copies of it, each one for its own reasons (more on that later). Iron Maiden could very well have released this album and retired, and their place in metal history would have been secured. Great value for the price of a double live album, this was at the time one of the longest double live albums ever released, with not one second of precious vinyl wasted.  The package was loaded with photos and text.

Inside the gatefold

Recorded in Long Beach, California (you can tell by Bruce’s incessant shouting, “Scream for me, Long Beach!”) and the Hammersmith Odeon, the crowds are absolutely nuts for Maiden. This is one of the best recorded live metal albums of all time, thanks to Birch. The crowd is loud, the band is clear, and the harmony vocals of Adrian and Steve are perfectly audible.  I’m certain there’s overdubs on those backing vocals, they’re too perfect.  Whatever.  Do I like the album?  Hell yeah.

There are some tunes here that you don’t hear live very often, such as “Die With Your Boots On” and the 14 minute epic “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” (made even better with Bruce’s intro: “This is about what not to do if a bird shits on you!”). “Powerslave” is as powerful and dramatic as the original album version, glorious solo intact. There are a handful of key Di’Anno-era tracks, such as the single “Running Free”, the growling “Wrathchild”, and the band’s early opus, “Phantom of the Opera”. Indeed, this album is worth buying for “Phantom” alone, so rarely is this played. As for “Running Free”, this may now be the definitive version of that song.

(Note: the cassette version of the album edited out the long Bruce/crowd interplay.)

Here’s the three versions I own, and why:

1. Vinyl. This was what I bought back in 1985  (my first Maiden LP), and I still have it. The original vinyl was a gatefold sleeve enabling you to read all the hidden messages on the tombstones.  “Letit R.I.P.” was my favourite. Inside, the album unfolds with two fully coloured photo record sleeves and a generous booklet with liner notes from Birch and a complete list of every date on the tour. Also amusing was a list of everything they went through on tour, from guitar strings to cans of beer.

2. The 1998 remastered CD edition. The original CD releases everywhere were only one single disc, and comprised only the first three sides of vinyl, ending after “Running Free”. This CD version restores side 4 on a second CD, which included “Phantom” and “22 Acacia Avenue” among others — you can’t do without these songs!  It also includes a completely different set of photos from the album release, so that’s cool if you already have the vinyl.  No overlap.

3. The 1995 UK CD reissue of this album, which included all three B-sides. The “Running Free” single had two exclusive songs, which were “Sanctuary” and “Murdered In The Rue Morgue”, both with Bruce singing of course. The “Run To The Hills” single included the very rare instrumental “Losfer Words” which, as far as I know, was only played a handful of times and never again.

Briefly on the cover art:  You recall last time we saw Eddie was being buried.  Well, he seems to have recovered.  You can see the pyramid in the background.  How much time has passed?  Maybe we’ll find out next album….

If you don’t own Live After Death yet, then it’s time to fix that!

5/5 stars.

I’m going to pause here for a few days, as this seems a natural place to do so.  Not only does Live After Death summarize the previous 6 years appropriately, but the Iron Maiden that emerged after it would be a newly modernized Beast, “Caught somewhere in time…”

Inside the gatefold

REVIEW: Iron Maiden – Powerslave (1983, 1996 bonus CD)

Part 7 of my series of Iron Maiden reviews!

IRON MAIDEN – Powerslave (1983, 1996 bonus CD)

Tell me why I had to be a Powerslave?

I don’t wanna die, I’m a god, why can’t I live on?

How much did I love Powerslave, especially after taking Ancient Egypt in highschool?  Finally I knew what the Eye of Horus was, and what the hell the lyrics were about!  When I was growing up and first getting into Maiden, Powerslave was the current album.  The neighbor kid had it.  We literally stared at that album cover for hours.

Derek Riggs outdid himself on the artwork this time, really outdid himself.  The Egyptian theme of the artwork allowed him to weave all sorts of hidden messages into the hyroglyphs.  I don’t have the LP, but I could swear that somewhere on the cover (front or back) it says “Indiana Jones was here”!

I taped the album from that neighbor, unfortunately on one of the worst sounding Scotch blanks I ever heard.  It was unlistenable.  Then my dad bought me the tape from the local music store, but even it sounded terrible — warbly.  I found that many Capitol Records releases in the mid-80’s in Canada had awful cassette quality.  From my Maidens to my Helix, they were mostly unplayable.

It was a long while before I got a listenable version of the album.  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks — holy crap, this is GOOD!

“Aces High” and “2 Minutes To Midnight” are the two singles, and of course they lead the album.  I only wish “Churchill’s Speech” was included as it was in the “Aces High” video!  As kids we always preferred “Aces High”.  It combines the manic speed of early Maiden, with the anthemic Dickinson choruses.  Just great.

“Aces High” was yet another song that my dad didn’t mind me listening to out loud, since it was about one his favourite historical subjects:  the Battle of Britain.

“2 Minutes”, a reference to the Doomsday Clock,was a Dickinson/Smith composition.  At 6 minutes long, it wasn’t an obvious single.   Vocally, it’s a lot less catchy than “Aces High”.  Bruce doesn’t so much sing a melody as he does spit the words out like a furious machine gun!  Musically, the riff seems lifted directly from later Budgie, and early Diamond Head.  See if you can spot it.

Up next is an instrumental, the first since Killers!   “Losfer Words (Big ‘Orra)” is really the only weak song on the album.  As an instrumental, it’s not as exciting as something like “The Ides of March”.  The riff is rather simple and it sounds like an unfinished song, like Bruce didn’t show up that day or something.  The guitar playing (well, all the playing) is of course stellar, there’s always that!

Then comes “Flash of the Blade”, a fucking awesome track, and one of my favourites.  I remember trying to learn that riff as a kid, as it’s catchy but uncomplicated.  This one’s penned by Dickinson alone, and is about…of course…fencing.  Like Steve Harris was on the exact same wavelength, his song, “The Duelists” is up next.  Yet another song incorporating fencing, this one was my personal pick for a third single.  I remember even drawing my own cover art, with Eddie dueling the Devil!   The middle section is an intricate dance of delicate guitars, you can almost picture the men parrying and feinting.

And that ended side one.  Side two opened with “Back In The Village”.  This would be the only other song beside “Losfer Words” that doesn’t make my road tapes.  Another Smith/Dickinson song, it’s got a cool signiture Adrian riff, but up against the rest of these songs, it just doesn’t stand out to me.

But “Powerslave” does!  This is another solo Bruce writing credit, and a powerful song it is!  Bruce metalizes Ancient Egypt with that cool riff, and his lyrics are a labyrinth of Egyptian mythology.  Very cool.  The best part of the song however is the middle section.  The song slows down at roughly 3 minutes, and there’s some pretty amazing soloing (sounds like Dave).  Then things pick up at 3:52, and Adrian plays my favourite Iron Maiden guitar solo of all time!  (Of all time, Kanye!)  Damn I love that solo!  I always have, even when all I had were those crappy cassettes.  And as if that wasn’t enough, then there’s a harmony part with Dave and Adrian together, and then Dave’s off on another amazing solo of his own!

(For the record:  if there was a second favourite Maiden guitar solo for me, it’s “The Wicker Man”, also performed by Adrian.)

Before you know it, we are at the end.  But not quite, for the final song on Powerslave is 14 minutes long!  “Rime Of The Ancient Mariner”, based of course on Coleridge, is the latest and perhaps the greatest so far of Steve’s epics.  I don’t know if I want to even think about ranking his epics anymore, but “Rime” is certainly a favourite.  That opening riff alone would have made a song on its own.  But this is a complex song, and it twists and turns and goes through all sorts of different adventures before we’re done.  As kids I remember were all blown away that this whole song was written by just one guy!

Talking about “Rime” in words is tough.  Lyrically I loved it.  Suddenly I understood Coleridge, and it wasn’t at all painful!  But musically this is just about perfect.  Bruce’s delivery is flawless, and the guitars are woven into epic and amazing solos once again.  Just about every section of this song is memorable.  It lags a bit in the atmospheric middle section, but this is soon replaced by a triumphant vocal with bright bass guitar melodies.

This 2 CD deluxe edition includes a bonus disc with all the B-side goodies.  Didn’t you always love that cover for “Aces High”?  Eddie in the Spitfire, flying on, even with a bullet in his head?  The B-sides include a live version of “Number of the Beast” that used to annoy us as kids, since Bruce only sings “six!” and gets the audience to finish with “six six!”.  With hindsight, who cares, it’s a great live version.  It’s just funny how I have that memory so very distinctly!

“King of Twilight”, a cover from a band called Nektar, isn’t a standout though.  I like that “Ahh, ahhh, ahh” section and I love the pounding drums.  Otherwise it’s not a road tape classic.

“2 Minutes To Midnight” had two excellent B-sides:  “Rainbow’s Gold” and “Mission From ‘Arry”.  The riff that kicks off “Rainbow’s Gold” is just really catchy, as is that vocal melody.  This is a cover from somebody called Beckett.  Gotta give Maiden credit for trying obscure covers!  Love this song.

And…”Mission From ‘Arry”.  Not a song at all, here’s the story.  One night, Nicko was asked to extend his drum solo while Harris (‘Arry) got his bass rig up and running.  ‘Arry sent his roadie to tell Nicko, who was distracted by the roadie and fucked up his drum solo.  Furious he launched into said roadie and gave him a good solid dressing down.  After the show, Steve in turn told Nicko that he was out of line and to apologize.  In walked Bruce Dickinson with a hidden tape recorder and a mischievous grin!  The rest is history, as released on this B-side!

Now, I’m from Canada and I don’t know my British slang that well.  Do you guys often use phrases like “Fuck my old boots!”?

I don’t think Powerslave was the album that Piece Of Mind was, but maybe I like it a fraction better than Beast.  I dunno.  It’s so hard to rank, we’re really splitting hairs here.  Powerslave was a little colder sounding, a little brittle compared to the past.  Steve’s bass is a little rinky, not warm and deep enough.  But that’s the sound of the LP, the songs still rise above.

4.75/5 stars

REVIEW: Iron Maiden – Piece Of Mind (1983, 1996 bonus disc)

Part 6 of my series of Iron Maiden reviews!

IRON MAIDEN – Piece Of Mind (1983, 1996 bonus disc)

Exit Clive Burr.  Enter that hilarious crazed drum dynamo Nicko McBrain!  Surely one of the most beloved characters to ever grace an Iron Maiden album, the band decided to kick off Nicko’s first album with a drum flurry.  Like machine guns strafing the sky, Nicko opened “Where Eagles Dare” with a decidedly skillful salvo.

Piece Of Mind is one of Steve Harris’ favourite albums, and one of mine too.  Each of its nine songs is worthy of the album; no filler.  The subject matter is increasingly more interesting to me as well, as Steve punders history, literature and movies.  “Where Eagles Dare” was based on the classic Clint Eastwood film of the same name, and does not disappoint.  It is over six minutes of soaring vocals and solos, with the band riffing steadily behind it.

This is followed by one of Maiden’s epic slow tunes, and first ever Bruce Dickinson writing credit on a Maiden album, “Revelations”.  Almost seven minutes long, “Revelations” is lyrically complex and melodically incredible.  I recall one of my old highschool buddies, Andy Kandic, sang “Revelations” at a highschool audition because he wanted something that would blow the judges away.  This is one of Bruce’s best vocal performances ever, but not the last of his writing contributions.

The first of Bruce’s many collaborations with Adrian Smith is next.  The hit single “Flight of Icarus” is a shorter number, the type of hard rock song that Maiden occasionally pull out for use as a single.  Its chorus soars like the title character, without that annoying crash at the end!  This is certainly one of Maiden’s most memorable songs.

As if that wasn’t enough to exhaust you, Bruce and Adrian teamed up with Steve to pen “Die With Your Boots On”.  Right from first listen, this was one of my favourite Maiden tunes.  Loosely based on Nostradamus, the lyrics are great!  “In thirteen the Beast is rising, The Frenchman did surmise, Through earthquakes and starvation, The warlord will arise.”  But the bottom line according to Maiden is “The truth of all predictions is always in your hands!”  If you’re gonna die, die with your boots on.  Great song, great singalong chorus.

Side two is kicked off by one of the greatest Maiden songs of all time:  “The Trooper”.  This is one that has steadfastly remained in setlists, even through the Blaze Bayley years.  It’s a great example of the trademark Maiden gallop.  Lyrically this one is about the Charge of the Light Brigade, and the Crimean War.  This is where I think Maiden deserves some credit from the educational field.  Sure, a five-minute song is not going to sum up the Crimean War, but it got many, many kids into history.  My father was always impressed that I had interest and knowledge in history, partly thanks to Maiden songs.  He always encouraged me to listen to songs like “The Trooper”, and then follow it with some reading.


Dave Murray’s “Still Life” slows the pace, introduced by Nicko’s backwards Idi Amin impression!  Then it picks up, big time.  This haunting number is a story of possession, perhaps along the lyrical lines of “The Number of the Beast” and the later “Dance of Death”.  I love this song.  It was rarely played live, but can be found in live version on a later B-side.

“Still Life” is followed by two lesser known cuts.  Slightly less impressive than the rest of the album, “Quest For Fire” and “Sun and Steel” both blow away many songs by the average metal bands out there.  Both are short hard rockers, under four minutes in length, anchored by memorable choruses.  “Quest For Fire” is not surprisingly based on the film of the same name, but isn’t quite as exciting as the previous stories on this album. “Sun and Steel” though is a fencing number, of course written by Bruce with Adrian.  The protangonist killed his first man at 13, and goes on to live a life of battle with the blade.  This would not be Bruce’s last foray into fencing with his lyrics.

Finally, another long Steve Harris epic ends this album:  “To Tame A Land”.  Musically and lyrically very complex, it is based on Dune by Frank Herbert.  It is very, very difficult to sing along to this labyrinth of lyrics:  “He is the Kwisatz Haderach, he was born of Caledon, and will take the Gom Jabbar.”  Without reading the books, you’ll be lost.  After reading the books however, I thoroughly enjoyed this one.  Today this is one of my favourite Maiden classics.  It’s certainly hard to get into instantly, but once those tricky melodies and riffs burrow their way into your head, they are there to stay!

They couldn’t get permission from Herbert to use the name “Dune” as the title of the song.  Reportedly, when asked, his people responded, “Mr. Herbert does not like rock bands, especially heavy metal bands, and especially heavy metal bands like Iron Maiden!”  A shame that was, as “To Tame A Land” was the gateway drug for many to discover the delights of planet Dune.

On Derek Riggs’ cover art, Eddie has been lobotomized, chained up in a padded cell.  An open window and a disembodied hand tease him on the back cover.  This would have made a great gatefold sleeve!  I always imagined that Derek was sequentially trying to tell a story.  Previously, we saw that Eddie was pulling the Devil’s strings on The Number of the Beast.  But if you looked carefully, you would see that the Devil was really pulling Eddie’s.  Now Eddie’s been captured and lobotomized.  Further albums covers show Eddie’s burial, resurrection, cybernetic enhancement, and his offspring.  I like to think that there was a hidden narrative going on with the artwork.

The bonus CD contains the two B-sides from this album’s sessions, both covers:  Montrose’s “I’ve Got The Fire” and Jethro Tull’s “Cross Eyed Mary”.  “I’ve Got The Fire” was previously covered by the Di’Anno-led version of Maiden, but this version’s even better.  The solos and Bruce’s vocal brings the song to a whole new level, although it does lose some of Di’Anno’s punk-like reckless abandon.  “Cross Eyed Mary” is not my favourite Tull song of all time, but I’m not surprised that Maiden are fans!  This was probably a good choice, and Maiden do a solid job on it.

Not to overstate the obvious, but Piece of Mind is one of Maiden’s all time best.  5/5 stars

REVIEW: Iron Maiden – The Number Of The Beast (1982, 1996 bonus disc)

Part 5 in my series of Iron Maiden reviews!

IRON MAIDEN – The Number Of The Beast (1982, 1996 bonus disc)

One of Maiden’s greatest album covers happened to house a great album inside.  There was a segment of Maiden fans that were very much against the replacement of Paul Di’Anno, but Bruce Dickinson was undeniably the right man for Iron Maiden.  Formerly known as the ridiculously monikered “Bruce Bruce” of rival band Samson, Dickinson fit in quickly and triumphantly.

From the first song, “Invaders” (a history lesson on the Norman invasion), The Number Of The Beast does not disappoint.  “Invaders” is a storming opening, but not nearly the quality of the next number:  “Children of the Damned”.  Along the lines of the older “Remember Tomorrow”, this song proved why Bruce was the man for the job.  The dramatically powerful music is only enhanced by Bruce’s wail.  They nicknamed this man “Air Raid Siren” for a reason.  “Children of the Damned” still sends shivers up my spine…

Another classic, “The Prisoner”, follows.  Significantly, this is the first Adrian Smith co-write on the album, and in Iron Maiden.  He has three co-writes on the record, and Adrian’s writing lent a melodic hard rock side to the band.  His composition style is unique from the other members of the band, and identifiable.  “The Prisoner” starts with that famous intro:  “We want information… information… information!”  The band had McGoohan’s permission to use it, and effective it is!  It’s a catchy, singalong Maiden song, the kind of thing that worked great live.  And Bruce really delivers on that chorus.

Charlotte the Harlot makes her return on “22 Acacia Avenue”.  The lyrics boast, “You can tell her that you know me, you might even get in free.”  But it’s not as simple and straightforward as that anymore, as Maiden have grown musically, so have they lyrically.  Another character, perhaps a family member, turns up and asks Charlotte, “isn’t it time you stopped this mad life?”  But if you’re not paying attention to that because the song rocks so hard, I understand.  This one too bears the stamp of Adrian Smith who was no doubt responsible for those terrific riffs.

With the addition of Smith and Dickinson, the band had obviously grown and intensified.  But the next two songs, opening side two, blew the doors off.  “The Number of the Beast” and “Run To the Hills” were a double whammy:  two awesome singles in a row that would help send the band off into immortality.  I’m not saying that with a shred of hyperbole.  If you’re reading this and don’t know these two songs, then I don’t know what’s wrong with the world!

I won’t dwell on either song.  Yes, “Run To the Hills” is one that I never need to hear again, but I’m sure glad I heard it the first time.  It’s the song that got me into the band.  I absolutely loved the video for “The Number of the Beast”, and those chiming opening guitars.  Then Bruce screams, and we’re off to the races.  Great song, awesome video, funny too.  This is the kind of image that people have of Maiden, that persists forever:  Bruce, long red hair flowing like a precursor to Axl, that fringe of his in front, and those spiked armbands. Classic!

“Gangland”, the only unremarkable song on the album, is a co-write between Adrian and drummer Clive Burr!  My understanding is that with 20/20 hindsight, Steve would have preferred to have “Total Eclipse” on the album instead.  “Gangland” does have a good bridge, but is otherwise pretty stock.

Finally, “Hallowed Be Thy Name”.  I remember this was misspelled “Hallowed By Thy Name” on the old cassette that my buddy Bob had, so I thought that really was the name.  “Hallowed” was to be Steve’s new 7 minute epic, something he’d become known for.  “Hallowed” is one of the best epics, and something that absolutely required the vocals of Bruce Dickinson to bring to complete fruition.  Bruce nails that mournful slow opening, and then absolutely lets rip with some pretty intricate words.  Seriously, do you ever try to sing along at album speed?  I always trip up words somewhere.

“Mark my words, believe my soul lives on don’t worry now that I have gone, I’ve gone beyond to seek the truth.”

And to sing it at his volume with that much emotion?  Unbelievable.

And that’s the album.  The 1998 remasters tacked on “Total Eclipse” as a bonus track, and it’s here on my bonus disc.  This was the B-side to “Run To the Hills”.  My younger sister actually had this single and I don’t know why.  (Kathryn, comment below please!)  “Total Eclipse” was actually performed live, and can be found on the Eddie’s Archive box set.  It’s a mid-tempo rocker with a fast breakdown in the middle, come solo time.  It’s catchier than “Gangland”, and is also co-written by Clive Burr, with Dave Murray and Steve Harris!

The bonus CD this time only has two tracks.  That’s all they released at the time, two singles, two B-sides.  The second B-side is a stunning live version of “Remember Tomorrow” with the new guy singing.  I always prefer Di’Anno, because he co-wrote the song, for his voice, and made it legendary to start with.  But Bruce is no slouch.  Much like Dio used to sing Ozzy’s stuff with more skill and range, so does Bruce in this case.

You’ll notice one guy is absent in the writing credits:  Bruce Dickinson.   Due to lawyers and rigamarole with his old band, Samson, he wasn’t legally able to write with Maiden.  Don’t worry though, he’ll make up for it on the next album!

I don’t want to give Beast a perfect 5/5 score for two reasons.  One, “Gangland”.  Two, better things were still to come.  There has to be room for improvement.  Therefore:

4.7/5 stars

REVIEW: Iron Maiden – Killers (1981, 1996 bonus CD)

Part 3 in my series of Iron Maiden reviews!

IRON MAIDEN – Killers (1981, 1996 bonus CD, EMI)

After the masterful introduction that was the first Iron Maiden album, the band jettisoned guitarist Dennis Stratton to get the guy that Steve wanted years before:  Adrian Smith.  An old buddy of Dave Murray, Adrian fit like a glove and the next album was recorded.

Written entirely by Steve Harris except for one Di’Anno co-write, Killers was also produced by Martin Birch.  Birch had already helmed the biggest and best albums by Deep Purple, and was more than capable of capturing the Maiden sound in the studio, unlike former producer Will Malone.

Popular opinion is split on Killers.  Some fans see it as a significant up-shift from the previous, others see it as inferior.  Both aruments hold water.  There is no denying that the partnership with Martin Birch created a better sounding album, one more consistent with the band’s live intensity.  The addition of Smith on guitar meant that you’re hearing a more unified sound, two guitar players in great sync with each other.  The songs are also harder and more intricate, with even more sections and changes.

While Killers is a good album in those respects, the songs were not as memorable this time out.  There are two scorchers on this record that are among my all-time Maiden favourites:  “Wrathchild” and “Killers” itself.  Then you have some second tier goodies like “Murders In The Rue Morgue”, “Innocent Exile”, and “Drifter”.  Beyond that, there’s little else here that would make my Maiden road tape.  I don’t know why, but time after time, listen after listen, year after year, the rest stubbornly refuses to grow on me.

Killers contains one ballad (“Prodigal Son”, which is almost like Iron Zeppelin) and two instrumentals (“The Ides of March” and “Genghis Khan”).  Oddly enough, one of those instrumentals, “The Ides of March” is identical to a song by rival NWOBHM band Samson, called “Thunderburst”.  The song was originally an Iron Maiden idea; Samson’s drummer Thunderstick was very briefly in Iron Maiden during the late 1970’s.  Samson’s singer was some guy called Bruce Bruce, known to his mum as Bruce Dickinson.

This picture disc edition of Killers came with a bonus CD containing all the associated non-album songs.  “Twilight Zone”, included here, is actually an A-side of a non-album single.  The US version of Killers had “Twilight Zone” on the album.  Its selection as a single ahead of something like “Wrathchild” seems strange with hindsight.  I never really liked the song that much, aside from Di’Anno’s screamy chorus.  This one was a Dave Murray co-write as well.

Another non-album single, the infamous “Women In Uniform” is also included.  This is the one that the band hated, a cover from a German band called Skyhooks.  I liked it because of my early association with the cheesey music video.  I wouldn’t call it a standout track, but I like it better than “Twilight Zone”.  This single acually pre-dated Killers, and Dennis Stratton is still on guitar.  Its two B-sides, “Invasion” and “Phantom Of The Opera (Live)” are both included.  “Invasion” is an improved remake of the song from the first EP, The Soundhouse Tapes.  It’s still not up to the standard of anything on album #1, but it’s still an entertaining tale of the Norsemen comin’, “raping and pillaging, robbin’ and lootin’ the land.”  An early Maiden history lesson from Steve Harris.

I’ll have to say something about Derek Rigg’s artwork as well:  Now we know what Eddie was up in that back alley on the last album!  No good, clearly, as he’s weilding a bloody hatchet, as a man’s hands can be seen grasping his shirt.  Behind Eddie, you can see a “kinky sex shop” and the Ruskin Arms, where many legendary Maiden gigs went down.  Is that Charlotte in the red window?

Rating Killers is very difficult.  It’s still better than most band’s best albums, yet it’s one of my least favourite.  Trying to be objective here, I will rate Killers:

3.5/5 stars

Also pictured below:  A bootleg CD from the tour called Another Live.

Part 89: Pranks 3.0 – The Case of the Disappearing Mars Bar

MARS

RECORD STORE TALES PART 89:  Prank 3.0 – The Case of the Disappearing Mars Bar

 

Rewind to 1994.

It was just one store, and just the three of us:  Trevor, myself, and the owner.  We had an awesome comraderie back then, and it was based both on mutual respect and humour.  At the time I doubt there would have been a better more knowledgeable staff at any store in town than us three.

But we joked around a lot.  It wasn’t beyond us to “tag” another one with a magnetic security tag somewhere on their clothing, setting off alarms everywhere.  It was all in good fun.

I showed up for work one night with a small bag, just a soda and a Mars bar inside.  I always came in early to check out what was newly arrived.  As I unpacked, my boss looked at my sorry excuse for a dinner and admonished me.  Always health conscious, he asked me about the Mars bar and if I knew how much sugar that was and so on.  “How can you eat this crap?” he finished.  I chuckled; I was 22  and hadn’t given it any thought.  He was mostly just ribbing me anyway.

Meanwhile, the boss was going through the cash register to decide what we needed in terms of small change.   Then, he sent me to the bank to do the change run, before he packed it in for the day.  When I returned with the change, he left me with instructions for the evening and departed.  I went about my business picking out discs to listen to that night.  (Based on the period I calculate with 97.8% certainty that one of those titles would have been Superunknown by Soundgarden, Balls to Picasso by Bruce Dickinson, or Jar of Flies by Alice in Chains.)

It was a slow night, and a couple hours later I had the munchies.  My Mars bar…it was gone!

I looked everywhere for it.  It could have fallen behind the counter.  Or maye I left it on top of a pile of discs?  No luck.  It didn’t turn up.  I know I brought it because I talked about it with…with my boss!

I had fallen victim to the classic “Steal the Snacks” game.  It wouldn’t be the last, and it’s a game I took to playing myself.  I love the way he blindsided me with the health talk on the Mars bar.  I didn’t even see it coming!

Part 64: Niagara Falls

RECORD STORE TALES Part 64:  Niagara Falls

I never was the traveling kind, so when I had to spend a weekend working Niagara Falls, I wasn’t too thrilled at the prospect.  I warmed up to the idea after I met Mike and Greg, the new owners of our latest franchise.

I packed the Deep Purple box set in the car, a box of pepperettes, and hit the highway.  I arrived at the store on a bitter cold Saturday morning, and we worked the day away.  It was a tiring day, as we bought and shelved a lot of merchandise that day.  We were constantly pricing discs.

The best thing about Niagara was the co-owner Mike.  He was a funny guy.  Great stories.  Massive Kiss fan.  Great stories about meeting Gene and being promised all sorts of things on the forthcoming Kiss box set.  Mike also played bass.  He was a long, long time Record Store Guy.

Mike was in this insane punk band called The Legendary Klopeks.  He wore a blonde pigtail wig and went by the name of Lemon Kurri Klopek.  The lead singer, Josh, was Sweet Pepper Klopek.  He is quite legendary today as an extreme…well I dunno what you call it but he bleeds a lot and he wrestles and he is a Guiness’ Book record holder for something that nobody should really do.

Their lyrics were hilarious.  Take, for example, “Ric Flair”:

I wanna (something something?)

I wanna do a “woo” (“WOOO!”)

I wanna be like Ric

’cause he’s so fucking cool

I want a son

who doesn’t suck

That’s the only thing that’s wrong with Ric

So who gives a fuck?

He’s the king, the king of the ring,

He’ll fuck you up just like it ain’t no thing.

Every song on the sophomore album Straight To Hell ends with the words, “Fuck you!”  Even the short ones, like “Where’s My Soup?”  The lyrics to “Where’s My Soup?” are as follows:

Where’s my soup?

Fuck you!

The other owner, Greg, did merch for Blue Rodeo and in fact when he said this, I realized I’d seen him at the last Blue Rodeo gig that I attended.  I bought a shirt from him!

Because of the Legendary Klopeks, Niagara had a bit of, I don’t know how to put this…an entourage, maybe?  All interesting characters.  The most interesting was Gary James Dean. Otherwise known as The Deaner.

The less said about the Deaner, the better.  But I will say this.   He liked to tell people that he masturbated with his Justin Timberlake doll.  And he phoned about 25 times a day.  Not even exaggerating about that.

Anyway, Niagara was a fun store to work in.  They always played good music, and they had great stories.  Today Mike tours with Steve Earle, doing his merch, and I am insanely happy for him and jealous at the same time.  He’ll post a picture on Facebook like, “Me and Steve eating sushi.”  Stuff like that.

The best score that I got from that store was actually a gift from Mike.  It was the Bruce Dickinson CD single for “All The Young Dudes”, the Mott the Hoople cover.  (B-sides:  the acoustic “Darkness Be My Friend”, and the AC/DC cover “Sin City”.)

I’ll always remember good times in the Falls:  Rock n’ Roll, the Klopeks, sushi, and the Deaner!

Part 27: Store Play

Another suggestion from Tommy Morais, my Amazon rock buddy from the east!  He wants to read about glam rock bands, and Canadian bands!  I played a lot of each at the store, especially in the earliest days.  I’m gonna throw some prog and metal in here too.  Here’s some of my fondest memories.

LeBRAIN’S STORE-PLAY CLASSICS!

1996.  We had just opened our flagship store, and I was selected as manager.  This meant I’d be working alone for most of the day, and I could play what I wanted.  In the earliest days there were fewer rules.  The boss might make fun of me for playing Poison, but in the old days, he never told me to take it off as long as it was only once in a while.

I remember playing glam metal stuff like:

Poison – Native Tongue.  I enjoyed trying to turn kids onto music they’d like, but would never touch if they knew who it was.  It sometimes worked!  I think I sold one copy of Native Tongue that way, anyway.

Motley Crue – self titled.  This is in my top three Motley records of all time.  The one without Vince Neil.  A guy from the HMV store in Waterloo gave me props for playing it.  I once sold it to a guy who hated the latest Crue, Generation Swine.  I turned him onto self titled instead.  Instant fan.

David Lee Roth – Your Filthy Little Mouth.  I played this a shit-ton in the spring of 1995 too.  I don’t know why I like it so much, it’s so cheesey.  Dave does country!  Dave does reggae!  Dave does jazzy loungy stuff!  Dave does VH!  But Dave does write hilarious lyrics, and I did like that.

Van Halen – Any time, any where, any how.   But any time we had a copy of 1984?  Hell yeah!  And you couldn’t keep Best Of Volume I in stock for very long.  Certainly not if you played it.  The first year or two it was out, I probably sold it every time I played it!

Def Leppard – Slang.  Again, much like the Poison and Crue, I was trying to turn new kids onto these classic bands that had explored new directions.  Unfortunately, Slang sold like shit.  I think it was too different for the old fans, and too old for the new fans.

And now let’s talk about Prog rock.  Ashleigh used to call prog music “smart-guy rock”.   That’s one reason why I wanted to play it every shift we shared.  I was trying to show her I was a smart guy, see?

Marillion – Misplaced Childhood.  I played Marillion so frequently, that my co-workers Matty K and Ashleigh knew the words to some songs.  Unfortunately, they didn’t consider that a good thing.

Fish – Kettle of Fish.  See above!

Dream Theater – Images and Words.  This came in so rarely, that when it did you had to play it.  It always sold if you played it.  We had so many musicians and wanna be’s (like me) coming into the store, they inevitably would ask what the fuck is this?  This one kid, a drummer named Curtis, loved Dream Theater.  I sold him his first Dream Theater.  Do you know how cool that is, selling somebody their first Dream Theater?  Curtis is a fantastic musician.  He’s jammed with my sister, actually.

Rush – Moving Pictures.  Like nails on a chalkboard to the girls in the Operations staff.  Could not play this if they were in the city, let alone the store.  But my fuck, what an album.  I remember Tom put a sticker on it that said, “Best album of the 80’s!”.  I thought to myself, “Then I need to hear the whole thing!”  I had never heard “Vital Signs” before.  I am sure Matty K remembers to this day, “Everybody got to evelate from the norm”.

And speaking of Rush!  I did a lot of Canadian themes.  We had a 5 disc changer.  A lot of the time, I would specifically pick 5 Canadian artists to take up a shift.  You’d often hear:

Sloan – 4 Nights at the Palais Royale.  In my opinion one of the top five live albums of all time.  It is also my favourite Sloan album.

Stompin’ Tom Connors – Anything we had in the store would work, as he didn’t come in frequently.  Unfortunately, Stompin’ Tom didn’t fare too well for store play in Kitchener.  Nobody seems to like him in this town.

Rush – duh?

Triumph – ditto.

Kim Mitchell / Max Webster – Another artist our Operations people hated.  I did one entire 5 disc shuffle of nothing but Kim and Max.  Kim was playing in town that day so I was hoping to drum up some sales.  I failed to do so, but I did try.  I was told to remove the Kim and Max from the player.

Helix / Brian Vollmer – I’d play Helix when it was in, which was infrequent.  I remember playing the Brian Vollmer solo album for Kevin, one of the guys that ended up in my wedding party.  I played the song “Good Times Don’t Get Better Than This” in the store.  I thought he would enjoy it.  Unfortunately, he did not.  I believe the words he used were, “This is not good.”  Kevin, I kindly submit that I strongly disagree to this day.

Even more rarely though came the opportunity to play the early stuff, the stuff with Brent Doerner singing lead.  Once — just once — Breaking Loose and White Lace & Black Leather came in.  I’m kicking myself for not buying them.  But when they were in store, I played “Billy Oxygen” on repeat for about 20 minutes.

Oscar Peterson – I only had the opportunity to do that once though.

Voivod – self titled.  The first one with Newsted.  Metallica had come out with St. Anger and a lot of fans didn’t like it.  I tried to sell this, which was more traditionally prog metal like old Metallica.

Incidentally, at the same time,  I was training a new franchisee around that time.  He was amused by how excited I was that the album Angel Rat, by Voivod, had come in, with 3D glasses intact.  I explained that usually these would be missing, but the CD was mint!  And “Clouds In My House” sounded great in-store!

Voivod crosses the boundary from prog into metal (or is it vice versa?), but I certainly did play a lot of metal in the store.

Bruce Dickinson – Balls To Picasso.  I played this virtually every shift during the fall of 1994.  At the time, I thought “Tears of the Dragon” and “Change of Heart” were among the deepest songs I’d ever heard.  Yeah, well.

Iron Maiden – Brave New World.  I love this album.  Matty K knows every word of “Blood Brothers”.

G//Z/R – Plastic Planet.  Easily the heavist thing I have ever played in store.  Even I was uncomfortable!

sHeavy – The Electric Sleep.  Incidentally, the greatest Black Sabbath album that was not made by Black Sabbath.  Every time, people would ask, “Is this the new Ozzy?”  Every time.  You could put money on it.

Judas Priest – Turbo.  It was the only one I could get away with!

Man, those were good times!   I am sure I could write another dozen of these.  I mean, we played a lot of music.  From Esquivel to Brushy One-String to Pansy Division to Jaymz Bee & the Royal Jelly Orchestra, we tried and sampled everything.

Part 1: The Beginning – “Run to the Hills”

 

RECORD STORE TALES PART 1:  The Beginning – “Run To The Hills”

I still remember the first time I heard Iron Maiden.

Maybe it’s this way for some when they remember the first time they heard the Beatles, or the Stones. Or for those younger, maybe it’s like the first time they heard “Smells Like Teen Spirit” or “Fake Plastic Trees”. The first time I heard “Run To The Hills” was monumental to me, but I didn’t realize yet what the massive impact would be.

It was Christmas of 1984. I was a mere 12 year old looking for musical direction.  I hadn’t been much interested in music prior to that.  I had albums by Quiet Riot and Styx, but my majority of my collection was John Williams’ movie soundtracks.

I really wasn’t interested in music yet. I had yet to dedicate myself to any particular style. At the same time that I would listen to Quiet Riot, I somehow also thought Billy Ocean was cool.

Well, the video for “Loverboy” was nifty….

I had always been kinda afraid of heavy metal bands.  Guys that wore spikes, like Judas Priest or Iron Maiden. Kiss literally scared me when I was buying my first comics (there were always ads for Kiss posters inside comic books), and I know I wasn’t the only one. The neighbor kid was scared to death of Gene Simmons spitting up blood. Bands like Maiden and Priest looked like a bunch of hooligans, definitely up to no good, definitely out to hurt people, including kids.

Boxing Day, Bob came over. It was tradition, every Boxing Day, Bob and I would get together and compare our Christmas scores. Bob scored a cassette tape called Masters Of Metal Volume 2 and I was given an Atari game called Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron.

In my basement, we sat down to play the video game. Our goal was to take the game as far as humanly possible, to see what happened when you shot down so many planes that the Atari didn’t have enough characters to display it anymore. (Incidentally, disappointingly, like most Atari games, it just starts counting up from zero again.) We sat there playing that game so long that Bob had to go home and eat lunch, then come back. But what he left behind while eating was Masters Of Metal.

“Run To The Hills” came on. Some people speak of moments of clarity: That was my moment. The music was fast, powerful, dramatic and melodic. The lyrics were cool and you could mostly sing along. Most importantly, the music and lyrics seemed to combine with the game experience. When Dickinson was singing “Run to the hills, run for your lives!” it meshed perfectly!  Too bad Aces High wasn’t out yet!

A moment like that could quickly pass into history and be forgotten for most people.  As the day wore on, I realized that I had found something. This music kicked ass!  I was brought up on movie soundtracks.  This stuff had the same drama, but with guitars!   This was even better than Quiet Riot and AC/DC, so I said at the time.

It didn’t end there of course. We played through Masters Of Metal, finding a few more diamonds. “You’ve Got Another Thing Coming” By Judas Priest was definitely a close second to “Run To The Hills”. We were fixated on Accept’s “Balls To The Wall”.  We’d play it over and over again laughing hysterically at the lyrics.  But the song still rocked!  I can still remember when MuchMusic started the Power Hour, and they played that video.  There’s little Udo Dirkscheider, in his camo pants, and crew cut, rocking with these skinny German guys with long hair.  It was fucking hilarious!

We skipped (what we then thought was) the crap…Lee Aaron, Anvil, Triumph.  I grew into them later, particularly Triumph.  Something to do with double guitars, maybe.  I digress.  We always came back to Iron Maiden.  Always.

Bob would bring other tapes over as the months and years went by. W.A.S.P., Motley Crue, Black Sabbath. Now Bob’s a father of four who doesn’t listen to rock music anymore, which makes me sad in a way.  I’m not sad for him, because he’s got a great family and always has.  I’m more sad because I don’t think he can ever appreciate what impact our shared experiece of rocking out had on me.  Listening to Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and the rest.  The was it, the beginning.