The picture above demontrates what happened when someone I know went to Spain for two weeks!
“‘Arry wants it…’Arry gets it.” – Killer Dwarfs
You won’t believe this got broadcast on daytime television!
Laurie Brown talked to the Killer Dwarfs in rehearsal for their excellent fourth LP Dirty Weapons. Additionally you will hear a preview for a new song called “Nothing Gets Nothing” live in concert, plus some behind the scenes footage. The band talk about the music scene in Canada at the time (not good) and touring with Iron Maiden. “What Harry wants, Harry gets,” they tell us.
But the real reason you’re watching this video is to see Bruce Dickinson rip the pants right off Darrell Dwarf. It was the last night of the tour and therefore prank night! Enjoy seeing “all of Darrell” as the audience did that night!
How do you like your eggs? Scrambled for me. But I’ve had ’em boiled (hard and soft), poached, fried (sunny side up or over easy), and Benny. How do your like your eggs?
I have a co-worker who likes them toasted.
Here’s the story. I came into work one day to find two eggs in the toaster. They belonged to Joe, an Italian tooling specialist. Picture this conversation with the stereotypical Mario accent.
M: “What’s up with your eggs, Joe?”
J: “Oh Mike! It was either my son or my wife! They thought it was funny if they take my boiled eggs and give me raw. I can tell they are raw just by touching them. So I put them in the toaster! They taste just as good! Maybe better! Don’t tell my son and wife, they think they got me, but they don’t know!”
So there you go, folks. Toasted eggs are better than hard boiled!
One of the guys at work is a real joker. The kind when you’re never quite sure if he’s joking or serious. For the purpose of this story, we’ll call him “Happy”. I went out to grab some lunch at Harvey’s. I came back to the office, and Happy was standing there talking on his cell phone. I nodded hello when I pulled in and he ignored me, seemingly deep in his phone call.
My car has electric locks. I usually hit the button that opens all doors, out of habit. As I got out of the car clutching my hot burger and cold drink, he climbed in the passenger side and closed the door behind him. He continued to talk on his phone ignoring me. I stood there perplexed. Did he just get into my car and close the door? Yes, there he is right now, talking on his phone. I decided not to be baited by his prank and walked into the office.
I looked out the window — he was still there in my car! I went up to my buddy Chris and said, “Dude, Happy is my car right now. I have no idea why. Go look. He’s sitting right there.” And there he was. Chris was just as confused as I was! Happy has a unique sense of humour!
Happy eventually stepped out and I never acknowledged it to him. Just a weird day at the office!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
“Legendary Iconic SuperShadow Ultra Infinite Mega Genius”
“As you would expect, all information about the world famous and legendary SuperShadow (SS) is above top secret (classified at the highest level).”
“Heralded by fans as the most important, influential and ingenious Star Wars expert in history, SuperShadow completely revolutionized the way Star Wars movies are created. SuperShadow.com played a crucial and pivotal role in the development of the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Man fan ideas submitted at SS.com were integrated by George Lucas into the final scripts and screenplays of The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith….Lucas has acknowledged many times in public that SuperShadow is the best thing to ever happen to Star Wars.”
Beginning around the time of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, a new online “source” began “leaking” plot information for future Star Wars movies. When he started out in 1998/1999, a lot of the rumours he was posting were legit leaks based in reality, albeit copied from other sites. By Episode II, he went completely crazy with ludicrous “leaks” that were obviously fabrications. This “source” went by the online name SuperShadow and he claimed to be close, personal friends with George Lucas. He wrote that he had cameos in the movies, which he also claimed to co-write. As if Star Wars alone wasn’t enough, Shadow also said that he was going to persuade his buddy George to include new music from Guns N’ Roses in Episode III!
Star Wars and Guns N’ Roses – two of the most secretive brands in the world, and apparently SuperShadow has inside scoops to both! I’m sure Axl wasn’t even aware of this guy’s existence. I’m not sure which is the more absurd of the two claims: that he was friends with George Lucas, or that he could get Axl Rose to release new music!
Online sleuths traced his website, supershadow.com, to a person named “Mickey Suttle” in North Carolina. Nobody knows if that’s a real name or an alias. SuperShadow quickly built up both a legion of followers, and a much larger number of haters. He posted a picture of himself with chiseled looks in a white T-shirt, and also a picture of a mystery nameless “girlfriend”. Every day, SuperShadow would tell his fans how much he “scores”. (Apparently, 24/7.)
SuperShadow infuriated many fans with his wild claims and “quotes” from his friend George Lucas. Shadow eventually caught the attention of Lucasfilm, who were quick to put out official statements clarifying that Shadow had “absolutely no relationship with Lucasfilm or George Lucas.” They also had to issue cease and desist orders when SuperShadow started soliciting fans for money, to access special “spoilers” and plot outlines for future movies. Today, supershadow.com no longer exists.
I read the SuperShadow drama with amusement, and wondered how a guy like that had convinced thousands of fans that he was indeed an insider with intimate knowledge of the inner workings of George Lucas’ mind. It seemed like a massive, obvious piss-take to me. I thought he had to be a joke, and everybody was falling for it. In fact I couldn’t see how anybody could view the SuperShadow website as anything but one huge prank, up until he started asking for money. It was either a gigantic joke that nobody got, or the guy was just an obsessed, lonely megafan. But nobody had ever succeeded in unveiling the real SuperShadow/Mickey Suttle, so I wondered if I could try to draw him out myself.
Setting my plan in motion, I set up a fake MySpace page for SuperShadow. It was the first; there were no others, official or fake.
By the time my fake SuperShadow began making his first posts, fandom had already found him. He received “friend requests” daily from “believers” and “non-believers” alike. I could hardly fathom that people were buying this. All I did was put up the same picture from the official SuperShadow site and some fake information and posts. “SuperShadow” made waves on the Star Wars message boards, and Shadow’s fans and haters announced that they had “discovered” his MySpace account.
I wanted to try an experiment on the internet. I decided to spread a false rumour to see if fandom would pick up on it, and they did. I told one guy who had been sending me questions that “SuperShadow” was in fact several people who set up the site as a big spoof. Sure enough, within a few dayss I found information on various wiki-type sites that “Supershadow” could be a collective made up of several people who had pulled a massive prank on the internet.
It was funny for a few months, but then two more fake SuperShadow MySpace accounts showed up. One was “Supershadows” and the other was “SSupershadow”. Having lost interest myself, I told the guy who had been interrogating me earlier that I was just goofing and had nothing to do with SuperShadow. I was surprised when he asked me if he could take over the account! He wanted to see if he could suss him out, himself. So I gave him the password, and passed the fake account on to a new nerd, who continued with the fake posts and pictures. I lost interest then. It was amusing while it lasted, and I saw how quickly rumours spready on the web.
I never succeeded in drawing out the “real” SuperShadow, or finding out if it was just a massive joke that went way too far. I can however finally confess: I, LeBrain, was the REAL fake SuperShadow!
Below: a sample of SuperShadow’s Q&A-style posts.
Q: SS, this site is like a fine wine, gets better with time. (SuperShadow: Excellent analogy.) Anyway I have a question: 1) How did you and George Lucas become close friends? (SuperShadow: In early 1994, Lucas watched one of my brilliant extra-terrestrial documentaries on the A&E TV cable channel. Lucas contacted me to congratulate me on the best documentary of its kind ever produced. He completely agreed with my position that the Citix Black Ops project had secretly implanted microscopic alien life forms into the minds of the world’s population. Lucas wanted to learn more so I told him all about the mysterious truth about extra-terrestrials. I told Lucas that I was sort of a Star Wars fan kinda. He invited me to Skywalker Ranch and we discussed the prequel trilogy. I spent several weeks at Skywalker Ranch in 1994 hashing ideas with Lucas that would be integrated into the prequel-trilogy plot line. We have been close friends ever since.)
RECORD STORE TALES Part 196: Happy Rockin’ Mother’s Day!
I’m hoping I don’t embarrass my mom too much with this post. I love my mom. My friends love my mom. Everyone loves my mom, they always have. It used to drive me nuts, actually. Particularly with my friend Bob, it drove me nuts. My friends would come over and spend more time talking to my mom than to me!
Joe, who ran one of our stores, was one friend that always enjoyed seeing my mom in his store. Unfortunately for me, Joe really used to tease me about it, too. Long time LeBrain readers will remember one story in particular. Here’s the pertinent text from that tale:
One morning I was opening the store, and my computer beeped the sound that told me, “An order just arrived, please read me!” So I did. Only the order looked something like this.
ARTIST: I’m totally going to
TITLE: bone your mom.
I was digging through boxes of stuff, as Mrs. LeBrain and I prepare to move to a larger place this year. In a closet I found a card from the record store. Joe had signed it.
For my mom…happy Mother’s Day!
Next time on RECORD STORE TALES…
What’s on the menu?
RECORD STORE TALES PART 89: Prank 3.0 – The Case of the Disappearing Mars Bar
Rewind to 1994.
It was just one store, and just the three of us: Trevor, myself, and the owner. We had an awesome comraderie back then, and it was based both on mutual respect and humour. At the time I doubt there would have been a better more knowledgeable staff at any store in town than us three.
But we joked around a lot. It wasn’t beyond us to “tag” another one with a magnetic security tag somewhere on their clothing, setting off alarms everywhere. It was all in good fun.
I showed up for work one night with a small bag, just a soda and a Mars bar inside. I always came in early to check out what was newly arrived. As I unpacked, my boss looked at my sorry excuse for a dinner and admonished me. Always health conscious, he asked me about the Mars bar and if I knew how much sugar that was and so on. “How can you eat this crap?” he finished. I chuckled; I was 22 and hadn’t given it any thought. He was mostly just ribbing me anyway.
Meanwhile, the boss was going through the cash register to decide what we needed in terms of small change. Then, he sent me to the bank to do the change run, before he packed it in for the day. When I returned with the change, he left me with instructions for the evening and departed. I went about my business picking out discs to listen to that night. (Based on the period I calculate with 97.8% certainty that one of those titles would have been Superunknown by Soundgarden, Balls to Picasso by Bruce Dickinson, or Jar of Flies by Alice in Chains.)
It was a slow night, and a couple hours later I had the munchies. My Mars bar…it was gone!
I looked everywhere for it. It could have fallen behind the counter. Or maye I left it on top of a pile of discs? No luck. It didn’t turn up. I know I brought it because I talked about it with…with my boss!
I had fallen victim to the classic “Steal the Snacks” game. It wouldn’t be the last, and it’s a game I took to playing myself. I love the way he blindsided me with the health talk on the Mars bar. I didn’t even see it coming!