cocknuckles

Part 265: A Nightmare On Cocknuckles Street Redux: Special Edition

NIGHTMARE 7

RECORD STORE TALES Part 265:
A Nightmare On Cocknuckles Street Redux: Special Edition

A while ago, I presented a story called Part 104: A Nightmare on Cocknuckles Street.  I was telling it from memory, a tale of a customer phone call gone awry!  I re-told it the best I could, thinking that my original record store journal from that day had been lost.

I was wrong.  I found it.  I present to you the original journal from the actual day of events!  Buckle up. [Street names changed for this blog.]

Date: 2005/12/10 20:36

So here is a story.

I come in after going out to get a soda and a candy bar, I still have my coat on when the phone rings. Kyle’s with a customer so I grab it. A dude is on the other end.

Him: Hey buddy, I ordered some CDs last Saturday and I haven’t heard anything so I wonder if they’re in.

Me: Sure, I’ll check for you, one second OK? (puts down phone removes coat.) Thanks for waiting. We’re up-to-date on calling the special orders but I’ll check for you. What was the CD?

Him: It was the new Josh Groban.

Me: (Checking in the computer, I knew already there was no Josh Groban. So I checked to see if anybody had ordered one, and nobody had.) …Actually…we don’t have any record of anybody ordering a Josh Groban.

Him: Well what the hell! (Wife yelling in background) (To wife: He says they ain’t got no record of it! They lost it!) Well how could that happen?

Me: I’m not sure exactly…let me check another one. What others did you order?

Him: There was a Motley Crue.

Me: (Pretty sure of what I would find) Hmmm, I have nobody ordering one of those, either.

Him: Well that’s fucked up. (Wife yelling in background) (To me:) Did you hear that?

Me: No, not really.

Him: Be glad you didn’t.

Me: OK, understood.

Him: Now how hell did this happen? I handed the guy a piece of paper and he said he would order them for me! He said they would be here in seven days. So what the hell happened?

Me: To be honest, I don’t know, now is it possible you were at a different store?

Him: It was your store. You telling me you fucked up?

Me: I don’t know for sure but it is possible. Let me…

Him: Well aren’t you a bunch of geniuses down there.

Me: You ordered them to the [Record Store], [Cocknuckles Street] location?

Him: It was your store, on [Dicklock Street]!

Me: You just called [Cocknuckles Street].

Him: What is that?

Me: This isn’t [Dicklock Street] that you called, this is the [Cocknuckles Street] location.

Him: Well I didn’t know there was more than one! This is the number in the book! Why the hell isn’t [Dicklock Street] in the book, you tell me that!

Me: Dunno man. They messed that up I guess. [555-5555]. There ya go.

Him: [55]-What?

Me: [555-5555]. Bye.

NIGHTMARE 4

Part 104: A Nightmare on Cocknuckles Street

Please, people:  Before you pick up your phone, and call and swear at someone, please make sure you’re calling the RIGHT DAMN PLACE!
 
In December 2005, an angry guy called.  He had a CD order that he was waiting for.  Three discs.  He had been waiting a week.  I checked inventory, and there was nothing in stock.  This pissed him off a lot.  These were gifts.  I began trying to solve this by retracing the order steps.
 
I double checked the titles — nothing.  I checked orders in our system — nothing for this guy, and nothing for the titles he was asking for.  I checked everything under his name to see if we had anything he’d requested, at all!  Nothing.  Nothing with this guy’s name on it, nothing with the titles he had ordered.  What happened?  Had we cocked it up?
 
“How is that fucking possible?  I was standing right there in front of you geniuses!  You told me it was available, and it would be there in a week!  Are you saying you morons screwed up?”
 
I just love that kind of language!   

“No, I’m not saying we screwed up, I’m just trying to figure this out.  There’s something missing here.  You say you were standing here?  As in, you didn’t phone in this order?”
 
“I was standing right there in front of you idiots.  I asked for those discs and you said a week!”
 
“OK, again, I’m just trying to clarify here:  You were standing right here where I am, at our store on Cocknuckles Street?” (Address changed for blog.)
 
“No!  I was at the one at Dicklock Street!  Jesus Christ!” (Address also changed for blog…I hope you figured that on your own though.)
 
“Well, that’s the problem right there.  You just called Cocknuckles Street.  We wouldn’t have any record of another store’s order.”
 
“Well FUCK!”
 
And then he hung up.  No, “I’m sorry for being rude,” or “Sorry for the mistake,” or “Sorry for yelling.”  Just “FUCK!” and then a hang up.
 
I called the other store on Dicklock Street a little later.  I asked if this guy called for his order.  He did, and he was polite as can be.
 
Jerkoff.


“Boring conversation anyway…”