RECORD STORE TALES Part 265:
A Nightmare On Cocknuckles Street Redux: Special Edition
A while ago, I presented a story called Part 104: A Nightmare on Cocknuckles Street. I was telling it from memory, a tale of a customer phone call gone awry! I re-told it the best I could, thinking that my original record store journal from that day had been lost.
I was wrong. I found it. I present to you the original journal from the actual day of events! Buckle up. [Street names changed for this blog.]
Date: 2005/12/10 20:36
So here is a story.
I come in after going out to get a soda and a candy bar, I still have my coat on when the phone rings. Kyle’s with a customer so I grab it. A dude is on the other end.
Him: Hey buddy, I ordered some CDs last Saturday and I haven’t heard anything so I wonder if they’re in.
Me: Sure, I’ll check for you, one second OK? (puts down phone removes coat.) Thanks for waiting. We’re up-to-date on calling the special orders but I’ll check for you. What was the CD?
Him: It was the new Josh Groban.
Me: (Checking in the computer, I knew already there was no Josh Groban. So I checked to see if anybody had ordered one, and nobody had.) …Actually…we don’t have any record of anybody ordering a Josh Groban.
Him: Well what the hell! (Wife yelling in background) (To wife: He says they ain’t got no record of it! They lost it!) Well how could that happen?
Me: I’m not sure exactly…let me check another one. What others did you order?
Him: There was a Motley Crue.
Me: (Pretty sure of what I would find) Hmmm, I have nobody ordering one of those, either.
Him: Well that’s fucked up. (Wife yelling in background) (To me:) Did you hear that?
Me: No, not really.
Him: Be glad you didn’t.
Me: OK, understood.
Him: Now how hell did this happen? I handed the guy a piece of paper and he said he would order them for me! He said they would be here in seven days. So what the hell happened?
Me: To be honest, I don’t know, now is it possible you were at a different store?
Him: It was your store. You telling me you fucked up?
Me: I don’t know for sure but it is possible. Let me…
Him: Well aren’t you a bunch of geniuses down there.
Me: You ordered them to the [Record Store], [Cocknuckles Street] location?
Him: It was your store, on [Dicklock Street]!
Me: You just called [Cocknuckles Street].
Him: What is that?
Me: This isn’t [Dicklock Street] that you called, this is the [Cocknuckles Street] location.
Him: Well I didn’t know there was more than one! This is the number in the book! Why the hell isn’t [Dicklock Street] in the book, you tell me that!
Me: Dunno man. They messed that up I guess. [555-5555]. There ya go.
Him: [55]-What?
Me: [555-5555]. Bye.
mikeladano.com 
Nice Pork Rinds… lol
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I like to picture this jerk surrounded by sports stuff and eating pork rinds :)
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I can imagine (but seriously don’t want to) a dicklock and how consenting adult might apply such a thing, but if your cock has knuckles it’s time to go see a doctor.
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Cocknuckles and Dicklock are the nicknames that Ricky gives to officers Green and Johnson, on Trailer Park Boys :)
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Ah. And see, I would know that if I ever got the chance to watch all the seasons I have on DVD.
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Maybe this will get you in the mood!
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Hahaha fun.
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I was wondering about that. I was thinking you guy have some pretty awesome names for streets up there.
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I should probably clarify that in the opening :)
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Ha! fave R
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….Ricky scene of all time
(pulled a Josh-Groban-fan-unable-to-deal-with-modern-technology-and-pushed-wrong-button there)
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Gotta try to work in Ricky whenever I can :)
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Glad you enjoyed!
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Had arguments with THREE butt dialers this month who were furious at being accused of it. (….then how’d I get your number, numb-nuts?)
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That’s hilarious. II butt-dial people all the time but I’m not going to deny it! People are strange man.
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My favourite was once a a buddy of mine butt-dialed our house when he sat on his cell when he sat on the couch at a party. We got to hear his whole schpiel as he tried to pick up some girl. It was all kinds of awesome.
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Life’s little moments!
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Yeah, the sad part was it hung up before we heard whether he was gonna get lucky or not. Gah!
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Were those real street names?
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No I wanted to change the street names.
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I worked at Tower Records in the 90s we had some interesting folks come through there.
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I’m sure you did! Definitely the biggest the store, the more crazies that walk in.
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