RECORD STORE TALES Part 265:
A Nightmare On Cocknuckles Street Redux: Special Edition
A while ago, I presented a story called Part 104: A Nightmare on Cocknuckles Street. I was telling it from memory, a tale of a customer phone call gone awry! I re-told it the best I could, thinking that my original record store journal from that day had been lost.
I was wrong. I found it. I present to you the original journal from the actual day of events! Buckle up. [Street names changed for this blog.]
Date: 2005/12/10 20:36
So here is a story.
I come in after going out to get a soda and a candy bar, I still have my coat on when the phone rings. Kyle’s with a customer so I grab it. A dude is on the other end.
Him: Hey buddy, I ordered some CDs last Saturday and I haven’t heard anything so I wonder if they’re in.
Me: Sure, I’ll check for you, one second OK? (puts down phone removes coat.) Thanks for waiting. We’re up-to-date on calling the special orders but I’ll check for you. What was the CD?
Him: It was the new Josh Groban.
Me: (Checking in the computer, I knew already there was no Josh Groban. So I checked to see if anybody had ordered one, and nobody had.) …Actually…we don’t have any record of anybody ordering a Josh Groban.
Him: Well what the hell! (Wife yelling in background) (To wife: He says they ain’t got no record of it! They lost it!) Well how could that happen?
Me: I’m not sure exactly…let me check another one. What others did you order?
Him: There was a Motley Crue.
Me: (Pretty sure of what I would find) Hmmm, I have nobody ordering one of those, either.
Him: Well that’s fucked up. (Wife yelling in background) (To me:) Did you hear that?
Me: No, not really.
Him: Be glad you didn’t.
Me: OK, understood.
Him: Now how hell did this happen? I handed the guy a piece of paper and he said he would order them for me! He said they would be here in seven days. So what the hell happened?
Me: To be honest, I don’t know, now is it possible you were at a different store?
Him: It was your store. You telling me you fucked up?
Me: I don’t know for sure but it is possible. Let me…
Him: Well aren’t you a bunch of geniuses down there.
Me: You ordered them to the [Record Store], [Cocknuckles Street] location?
Him: It was your store, on [Dicklock Street]!
Me: You just called [Cocknuckles Street].
Him: What is that?
Me: This isn’t [Dicklock Street] that you called, this is the [Cocknuckles Street] location.
Him: Well I didn’t know there was more than one! This is the number in the book! Why the hell isn’t [Dicklock Street] in the book, you tell me that!
Me: Dunno man. They messed that up I guess. [555-5555]. There ya go.
Me: [555-5555]. Bye.
Nice Pork Rinds… lol
I like to picture this jerk surrounded by sports stuff and eating pork rinds :)
I can imagine (but seriously don’t want to) a dicklock and how consenting adult might apply such a thing, but if your cock has knuckles it’s time to go see a doctor.
Cocknuckles and Dicklock are the nicknames that Ricky gives to officers Green and Johnson, on Trailer Park Boys :)
Ah. And see, I would know that if I ever got the chance to watch all the seasons I have on DVD.
Maybe this will get you in the mood!
I was wondering about that. I was thinking you guy have some pretty awesome names for streets up there.
I should probably clarify that in the opening :)
Ha! fave R
….Ricky scene of all time
(pulled a Josh-Groban-fan-unable-to-deal-with-modern-technology-and-pushed-wrong-button there)
Gotta try to work in Ricky whenever I can :)
Glad you enjoyed!
Had arguments with THREE butt dialers this month who were furious at being accused of it. (….then how’d I get your number, numb-nuts?)
That’s hilarious. II butt-dial people all the time but I’m not going to deny it! People are strange man.
My favourite was once a a buddy of mine butt-dialed our house when he sat on his cell when he sat on the couch at a party. We got to hear his whole schpiel as he tried to pick up some girl. It was all kinds of awesome.
Life’s little moments!
Yeah, the sad part was it hung up before we heard whether he was gonna get lucky or not. Gah!
Were those real street names?
No I wanted to change the street names.
I worked at Tower Records in the 90s we had some interesting folks come through there.
I’m sure you did! Definitely the biggest the store, the more crazies that walk in.