dementia

#1098: Today I Feel Very Special – An Uncle Paul Story

RECORD STORE TALES #1098: Today I Feel Very Special – An Uncle Paul Story

Today we lay my Uncle Paul to rest.  I learned something about him yesterday that I never really realized before.

Sunday was the visitation.  These are always a storm of mixed feelings.  You’re sad, you’re exhausted, and there are dozens of people to meet.  It was wonderful to hear so many people say loving things about my dear uncle.  He was clearly well liked by his friends and colleagues.  There were a lot of happy memories shared, introductions made, and friends to catch up with.

I was happy to see two of my best friends in the world after long absences:  the legendary Bob Schipper and the beloved Peter Cavan with his sister Joanne.  I have not seen any of them since, well, the last funerals.  We are all a little older now, and time has taken its toll, but the faces were the same.  It is good to know that my uncle had such an impact on my friends that they would drive to Stratford to honour a man they were not related to.  That’s just how my uncle was.  I heard lots of the same words today, over and over:  kind, thoughtful, attentive, caring, warm.

The thing that I did not expect to learn was a story repeated twice by two different co-workers of his.  They both said that he spoke of my sister and I fondly, all the time.  All the time, as if we were his own kids.

I knew that he considered us like his own, but I didn’t know how he spoke of us so often.  He had pictures of us in his office along with other family photos.  He must have said some pretty amazing things because the two co-workers we met specially wanted to tell us this about him.  I really did not know.

He always took interest in what we were doing and wanted to know what games we were playing and what music we were listening to.  He liked fast songs about cars.  I know I played “Slick Black Cadillac” by Quiet Riot for him when I was just a grade school kid.  I hope he liked it.

Thank you Uncle Paul.  We say goodbye today but the stories will live on forever.

Rest In Peace Uncle Paul

I didn’t expect to be writing this today.

Uncle Paul was kind of my music uncle in a way.  He didn’t like the same bands as me, but he liked his oldies.  He loved the Beach Boys.  He even liked when Van Halen played cover tunes.  I remember making him a mix tape around 1989 – Best of Van Halen and David Lee Roth.  He let me play my music in his stereo, he let me watch Star Trek on his TV.  He was a good uncle.

My uncle and my dad were very close.  My dad raised him, from a very young age.  I grew up with all those memories.  “Your uncle lost my Meccano #2 set!” my dad would chide.  They shared a mutual love of cars – Chrysler products only.  My dad could tell you every car my uncle owned.  I couldn’t, except for his vintage ‘Cuda.  I think it was a ’72.  He bought it, sold it, bought it back, and restored it with original parts.  He was very fussy about his cars.  One of the best summers of my life involved two days of finishing a large garage in his back yard and wiring it for power.

I liked buying him car model kits every Christmas.  He tended to keep them sealed for a “rainy day”.  He had a stockpile of sealed models, and several dozen built.  They were immaculately displayed in a special custom shelving unit.  I remember drawing his picture, and pasting it onto the driver’s seat of a model car, on the box art, because I knew he might not open it for years.  He loved watching us open our Christmas presents, but hated the year that they stayed over in the rec room where our Atari 2600 was hooked up.  We wanted to play Atari so bad that Christmas morning, and we kept waking him up!

Uncle Paul had a cottage near ours.  You could see it from our backyard and get there in a few steps through the woods.  He loved our dogs and always had dog treats for them.  Whenever he went back there to get another beer, they’d yip and yipe and follow him hastily to get their treats.  We had many summers together at that cottage before he sold it.  Many shared meals, many chats around the barbecue.  When we were really young he’d come down to the beach with us.  I remember growing up, he’d always have fried eggs for breakfast at the cottage.  But he hated fried eggs so he covered them with pepper until they were black.  He loved spicy food.  Funny the things you remember.

Juice Newton.  I couldn’t tell you the first thing about her, except my uncle had one of her tapes.  That’s the only reason I know the name Juice Newton.

He loved comedy.  Steve Urkel – remember Family Matters?  That was one of his favourite shows for a long time.

I remember installing wooded tiling in the bedroom at the cottage.  He “supervised”.  We have a photo of him supervising.  From the bed!  But he sure pitched in when I moved into my first condo.  We had the place painted in a day!  I returned the favour when he moved into his new place.  We had a blast, working together.  Building wooden decks at the cottage.  How many did we build together?  Four?  Five?  His was the most complicated, and most fun.  It had three levels, and wound its way in front of a little stone wall.  I cut all the wood custom fit to the stones.  We were so proud of our work.

As the memories flood back as they do, I think I will write more stories about my uncle.  He hadn’t been well in a long time, and fortunately my only memories of him are when he was himself.  You don’t want to say you have a “favourite uncle” but he was a special one.  My sister and I always fought over who got to sit next to him at the dining room table, because he was fun and always clowning around.  Just like you want an uncle to be.

I’ll miss you Uncle Paul.  A lot.  Here’s some Beach Boys for you.

NEWS: AC/DC’s Malcolm Young IS suffering from dementia

BREAKING NEWS
Exclusive World Premiere Of AC/DC "Live At River Plate" Presented By DeLeon Tequila

I didn’t want to post ANYTHING about this subject until confirmed by the band.  Now AC/DC have confirmed that Malcolm Young (61) is suffering from dementia.  Dementia is a horrible illness, without a cure, and all we can really do is pray (if you so choose) and support the Young family.

AC/DC is continuing on with Uncle Mal and Ang’s nephew Stevie Young, who previously filled in for Mal on the 1988 Blow Up Your Video tour.  The new album, Rock or Bust, is out December 1.