green day

Part 149: And the award for most embarrassing goes to…Puff Daddy!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 149:

And the award for most embarrassing goes to…Puff Daddy!

The year:  1998

The place:  My store

The guilty party:  Me

Remember that shitty 1998 movie, Godzilla?  It’s OK if you didn’t.  There are movie executives and Matthew Brodericks worldwide that want to forget it, too.

The soundtrack was OK though.  “A320” is a non-album Foo Fighters track, and one of the first to feature Taylor Hawkins on drums.  “No Shelter” is a rare Rage Against The Machine track.  Ben Folds Five and Green Day contributed.  I’m sure most of these bands would rather forget the movie itself.

The lead single, though, was a song called “Come With Me”, by Puff Daddy.  You may remember this one, a remake of “Kashmir” but with ol’ Puffy himself providing new, enlightened lyrics.

Huh huh, yeah
Huh huh, yeah
Huh, huh huh, yeah
Huh, huh huh, yeah
Huh, huh huh, yeah
Huh, huh huh, yeah, yeah

Here’s one of the, um, better verses.

You said to trust you, you’d never hurt me
Now, I’m disgusted, since then adjusted
Certainly, you fooled me, ridiculed me
Left me hangin’, now shit’s boomerangin’

Anyway.  The song features Jimmy Page and Tom Morello too, which is really too bad, because that put it in my obsessive-compulsive collector’s sights.

Then I saw the CD single come in

Track list:

  1. Album version
  2. Morello Mix (cool, right? basically, more guitar squonk)
  3. Radio album version (?)
  4. Live version (???)

Live version?  Yeah.  Although I’m sad to say that Jimmy Page performed live with Puffy more than once, this one is from Saturday Night Live.  I don’t know who the drummer was, but he ain’t no Bonham (John or Jason), that much is clear.  Jimmy Page does play on it, but I really hate when mid-song, Puffy proclaims, “I think I wanna dance!”

I don’t remember what I paid for this single, probably $3 with my discount.  Forgivable?  I hope you think so.  But I have a lot of ‘splaining to do any time somebody sees it in my collection.

Then another different single showed up!  It has two more tracks:

  1. Extended radio edit
  2. Radio versi0n II

Don’t ask me the difference except the swear words are replaced by Godzilla roaring on the radio versions.  I ended up getting this one for free.  I turned down the guy who was selling it, because it did look like a cheap promo (no booklet, for example, and the crappy track list), but he left it behind.  And that’s how I ended up with two copies of a Puff Daddy single.

I like my CD collection to be displayed for all to see.  I’m (mostly) proud of it.  I ain’t so proud of this, even with the presence of Page and Morello.  It’s always hard to explain and justify to guests, who never fail to notice it.

Therefore, the award for most embarrassing CD of all time goes to ME, for “Come With Me”, by Puff Daddy, not one version but two!

Part 76: Free Sh*t

You shall not pass, nor get anything for free

Record store employees get a lot of free shit.  From shirts to discs to posters to the oddest promotional merchandise you can think of, they get a lot.

Used record store employees, like myself, do not!

Reason being?  The word “used”.  The record distributors automatically assumed we would sell everything that we got for free.  Which we didn’t, because we didn’t want to hurt our already tenuous relationship.  This is where my personal experience differs from the average record store guy.  I got very, very little free stuff over the years.   

Sometimes you’d see the odd promo disc arrive, but it was either something completely unknown that nobody wanted, or something like Much Dance 2002, that nobody wanted.

I did get a few things.  Most of this stuff isn’t around anymore, either given away or wrecked.  Here’s a complete list of everything that I personally ever got for free from a record label during my 12 year tenure at the store, and it ain’t much!  This stuff would just show up in boxes of discs that we ordered.

  • A Jon Bon Jovi golf ball, to promote his solo album Destination Anywhere.  Ended up selling it at a garage sale for 25 cents.
  • A very nice Green Day Nimrod sweatshirt.  It too was green.  Don’t know what happened to it.
  • I had to fight for this one:  A nice black Kiss sweat shirt.  The higher-ups didn’t want me to get it.  (Don’t know what they wanted it for!)
  • A Jann Arden “Insensitive” baseball hat. 
  • A Vince Gill blue denim hat.
  • Two rolls of Star Wars stickers to promote the DVD release of the Original Trilogy.  These have lasted a long time and I still have a partial roll.  You’d be amazed how many things look better with Star Wars stickers on them
  • A bunch of Yoda buttons to promote Attack of the Clones.  Gave these away to kids.
  • A bunch of Lord of the Rings buttons, to promote Fellowship.  Also gave these away to kids.

Of these things, all I have left are the stickers and the Kiss sweatshirt, slowly fading from many washes.  Not a lot to show for 12 years of the record store grind, but as I said, the record companies really hated giving us anything for free.  The funny thing is, other people (DJ’s, employees at other record stores) would come in and sell us dozens and dozens of promotional discs that they got for free.  So the irony is, even though we played by the rules, we got stiffed.  The other people who broke the rules got free shit all the time!  Ain’t it the way?