RECORD STORE TALES Part 296:
Four Musical Child Names
Some parents choose regrettable names for their children. None of the names below were intrinsically bad, except perhaps in the case of the former Nirvana fan. Here are four names from children I met in the record store days, and the music that inspired them…
1. Kurdt
The girl with the toddler named Kurdt was selling off her entire Nirvana collection. Regrets? Nah!
2. Lars
Absolutely hilarious to see a long-haired dad with a Metallica shirt on yelling at his rat-tailed kid: “Lars! Stop that!”
3. Sebastian
My old customer Gord named his son after the Canadian god of rock.
4. Rhiannon
A mom was in looking for Fleetwood Mac. “Tell the man your name!” she said to the little girl with her. With a beaming smile she said, “RHIANNON! Not Rihanna! RHIANNON!”
mikeladano.com 
My friend named his daughter Rhiannon. She grew up to be a junkie and is now doing 10 years in a Georgia prison for possession of heroin with intent to distribute. She claims she was only intending to distribute it to her arm, but all the same. True story.
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No Kayleighs?
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Not spelled like that, nope :(
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A friend of mine named her daughter Kayleigh – just like that.
Kayleigh is quite popular around here these days. Caylea, Ceileigh, Kaelee…
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Kayleigh became more popular in the UK after the Marillion song came out. I guess it was a made-up spelling as far as the band went. The inspiration’s name was Kay so he changed it enough to make it “not about her.”
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Twas a combination of her first name and middle name. Passed away a couple of years ago – https://www.facebook.com/MarillionOfficial/posts/547758728574760
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Didn’t know that. Ahh well. A great song came of it.
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Both Lars and Sebastian are common names in Sweden. I know lots of people named Lars and Sebastian.
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Both names are very uncommon here. I only know one other Sebastien, and he’s French. Lars, I know nobody else with that name.
But I know lots and lots of Daves, Steves, Bills, etc…
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Who in their right mind would name their kid after Lars Ulrich? Hope they don’t expect their kid to keep time…
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Maybe they expected him to be short and loudmouthed.
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Love Frank Zappa telling the story of the nurse in the hospital who had a complete BREAKDOWN trying to convince him not to name his child MOON UNIT
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Yeah, as I would have too. My God. Poor familiar. When I first heard the name “Dweezil” it was on MuchMusic when he debuted his new video, for My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama. I didn’t know who Frank Zappa was yet. My mom had to explain to me who Dweezil was and that he had a sister named Moon Unit.
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Best ever was Frank tearing into Joan Rivers guest-hosting Tonight Show (she mocked the names in her monologue introducing him) “First of all, DON’T make fun of my kid’s names- they love ’em and all their friends are envious. And secondly…. consider the beauty of a name like RALPH…”
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VERY true. Who names their kids Ralph in this post-Christmas Story world?
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20 yrs ago knew this drummer who named his kids Sabian and Tama…
True story man….I would like to know what they became..on second thought nope!
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At least one of them married a girl named Pearl.
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I hope so.
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Meat Loaf’s daughter is named Pearl. She married Scott Ian of Anthrax. For some reason…
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True! I knew that name was familiar. I’ve never seen a picture, hopefully she didn’t get dad’s looks.
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She’s quite cute actually. Her dad’s opposite. Kinda makes me wonder who her mother is…
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Wow, good going Scott Ian!
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That’s pretty cool. I’m sure somebody has named their kids Les and Paul. Or Leo and Fender.
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Simon and Garfunkel.
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Hey Garfunkel, go get Daddy a beer. That’s a good girl, thank you.
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Wasn’t it Slash who named his son Les Paul? I could be wrong, but I know for sure there was some guitar player that did so.
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I didn’t think it was Slash…Zakk Wylde maybe?
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Who knows…..dude was a teenage dad…..this was like 1994…..
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I also remember watching part of a live Smashing Pumpkins performance on TV ages ago (I haven’t had a TV since 1996, so you know how far back we’re going, here). I don’t remember anything about the performance, per se, but I do recall a young woman in the crowd holding up a sign towards the band that said “I NAMED MY SON CORGAN.”
Yeesh.
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Yeah, no regrets there eh?
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There’s this Swedish guitar player, his name is Tony Borg and he has a band called Alien. Dunno if you’ve heard of them. He’s a major Deep Purple fan. He actually looks like Ritchie Blackmore. Anyway, he named his son Ritchie. Ritchie Borg. That kid is probably the only Swede named Ritchie
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I know a girl named Harmony after the Elton John song. That’s not really awful though.
A guy at work tells this story of a doctor friend of his asking a patient’s mother what her name is. “Your daughter has an unusual name,” the doctor says. “How do you pronounce that?”
“It’s Daria,” the mother tells him.
“I’ve never seen it spelled that way. Where did you come up with that?”
“I read it in one of those pamphlets ya’ll give out here at the hospital.”
Turns out the girls name was…(duh duh duuuuhhhh)… Diarrhea!
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HAHAHAHAHAH!
I remember an old Flintstones episode where they bought a boat. Fred and Barney couldn’t agree on a name. “Nautical Queen” or “Sea Queen”. The compromised and named it “NauSea”.
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My brother-in-law is a blues guitarist and named my nephew LOWELL after Little Feat’s Lowell George. Kid’s real shy and talks soft, so everyone calls him “LOW” … can always bug him playing that Boz Scaggs song.
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I would have caught the Lowell reference. Cool!
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Now old enough to roadie for his dad, and learning the guitar. Also old enough to appreciate Lowell George’s work with Zappa’s Mothers. Sent him home once with a copy of “Prelude to an Afternoon of a Sexually Aroused Gas Mask” -his father was NOT impressed
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Kurdt? was she Turkish?
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No, I just like spelling it that was myself :) I don’t know if that’s how she really spelled it.
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I know of a Lennon…and a McCartney. Yes.
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THAT is cool.
My boss has a son named Jagger, but he’s not a music fan so I don’t know where Jagger came from. Definitely not Mick, I do know that much.
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Tommy Lee’s son is named Dylan Jagger. No pressure, son. No pressure at all…
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Couldn’t agree more, as I was saying to my sons Axl and Flava Flav just the other day.
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How is your nephew Jazzy Jeff?
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I didn’t know Bach was a Canadian. I thought he was from New Jersey.
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He was born in the US but only because that’s where his parents were living at the time. His dad was one of Canada’s most respected artists.
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Oh wow, I had no idea.
To be fair, i thought Skid Row were from LA for about 10 years so…. my knowledge on that band is way smaller than how much I listen to them.
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Well they sure looked like an LA band, rather than a New Jersey band. Bach grew up in a town near Toronto named Peterborough. He was an old familiar on the Toronto bar scene in the 80’s.
I have an old video at home of a band called Madame X. And Bach was in Madame X way back then. He had makeup on, his hair all teased up to the max…it was pretty hilarious.
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His real last name is Bierk. He changed it cos it rhyms with jerk. It’s a Norwegian name.
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All true! David Bierk was his dad’s name. Among other things, he painting the portrait of the Queen that hung in Maple Leaf Gardens.
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Yeah, the Slave To The Grind is also Sebastian’s dad’s work.
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He’s also credited inside Subhuman Race, I think he did a painting that can be seen only in very tiny form on the cover. Bach said that he hated the first album’s cover — that he wished they’d come up with something unique and original for their first album, rather than a black & white photo of them standing there!
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