RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#401: SIGHTING! Rasputin & the Hobbit
A few weeks ago, Mrs. LeBrain was feeling generous and treated me to a rare breakfast at McDonalds. We don’t go very often, but our closest McDonalds has a “freestyle machine” allowing you to create any number of soft drink combinations, a really cool draw. It was my buddy Craig who hyped the machine to me – “The closest thing we have to Cherry Coke Zero in Harperland,” he says. Plus the egg McMuffin is only 290 calories; I know that because of the ad that runs endlessly every night on TV!
We sat down with our McMuffins and breakfast burritos, but as I was picking a table, something caught my eye. It’s not often that I recognize my old Record Store customers in public, but how could I forget Rasputin and the Hobbit?
T-Rev and I shared the story of these two gross individuals in Part 276 of the original Record Store Tales. “HH was known for her outrageous makeup,” I said. She was also known for riding a bike in a short skirt, on her way to sell us some crappy dance CDs. “The ‘Hobbit’ with ripped nylons and the short skirt with her ass hanging out…yuck!” remembered T-Rev. Rasputin was the silent type. He would merely nod yes or shake his head no, at whatever offer we had given them for their CDs. I don’t know if I have ever heard him speak.
It was actually Rasputin (“Razzy” for short) I spotted first. You just don’t forget a guy who looks like that. Shaggy unkempt black beard, same with the hair. It was him, which by process of elimination meant his companion was HH the Hobbit. She has changed a bit, but not entirely. The makeup and short skirts are gone, but she still possesses the gross-out factor. When I sat down, her bare feet were in Razzy’s lap, right in the McDonalds. It was like that train wreck that I couldn’t look away from. I noticed Razzy was wearing dress shoes with no socks. Just like the old days, Hobbit did all the talking. Her voice was unmistakable.
I managed to get a couple pictures. Not of her feet in his lap, but I did acquire photographic proof that Rasputin the Mad Monk, and HH the Hobbit, are still alive and well in Kitchener Ontario.