Welcome to another week of Getting More Getting More Tale! Join us each day this week for a new instalment of the Getting More Tale series, including the all-important, top-secret #500.
GETTING MORE TALE: #497: Sausagefest 2016 Official Report
I have returned, bitten by many insects of all kinds, from Sausagefest.
Every year, Countdown has its own personality, or personalities. This year, the fifteenth annual, the 81 songs were drawn in almost equal amounts from the fountains of heavy metal and soul/funk. There was Metallica, and there was Five Alarm Funk. There was Iron Maiden, and there was Charles Bradley. It was a stunning mix, also including long bombers by Yes and ELP. Because of this year’s countdown, I will soon be purchasing Close to the Edge by Yes, and a number of Clutch CDs.
The countdown began, appropriately, with a song by Hibakusha and a previously unheard Paul MacLeod comedic bit. MacLeod had a comeback show scheduled for the same weekend as Sausagefest. It is sad that it could not come to pass.
I was given 10 songs to do “LeBrain” intros for. They were as follows:
78. “Hanger 18” – Megadeth (for this I did a 7-minute comedic steam-of-consciousness bit as my own intro)
67. “Go Down Gambling” – Blood Sweat and Tears
60. “Snakes for the Divine” – High on Fire
55. “Rock and Roll Suicide” – David Bowie
49. “Why is it So Hard” – Charles Bradley
42. “Old Joe’s Place” – The Folksmen
36. “Burn In Hell” – Twisted Sister
29. “Fade to Black” – Metallica
18. “The Sounds of Silence” – Disturbed
11. “Empire of the Clouds” – Iron Maiden
Now, I do not care for Disturbed, and I did not want to introduce that song. I wanted another tune because I had an intro planned already for it (“Hollywood”, by Thin Lizzy). Tom and Uncle Meat refused to give me Thin Lizzy. They did not want to hear Disturbed so they left it to me. I told Meat, “Fine, but I am going to record my intro in the bathroom while taking my morning shit.” And that’s exactly what I did. The intro was received…with grace, all thing considered, by the people who voted for Disturbed. I have no issue with David Draiman, he is an incredibly gifted and obviously trained singer. It’s just not my cup of tea. It’s not a song I wanted to hear done that way. So I did my intro the only way I knew how: with exaggerated disgust. Love it or hate it, nobody ignored it!
The weather was a challenge, but not unbeatable. Friday afternoon and early evening, we were pelted with rain, hail and lightning. Due to the weather forecasts, it was decided late last week that there would be no live jams this year. The more capable among us assembled tarps and gazebos to protect the precious Wall of Sound, and us. Standing in the refreshing rain on such a hot day, I felt like Andy Dufresne after having climbed through the mile-long shitpipe. There were many personal highlights for me this year, but I will say this. I am glad that I slept in Saturday morning, and did not go into Flesherton to get breakfast at the Flying Spatula. A highlight of previous trips, the Spatula is now under new, surly ownership. Our guys were treated to disinterested and slow service. One group of eight guys was asked to share one booth. Disappointing. We’re disappointed in you, Flying Spatula.
The most important part of Sausagefest besides the countdown is the camaraderie. Every year it gets better, too. Many of these guys only see each other once a year. Some of us show up fatter, balder, or both. Some of us even showed up with a broken ankle. That’s dedication. It’s that important to us.
Or, as Uncle Meat sang during his interpretation of Pink Floyd’s “Hey You”:
Where the fuck are you?
Did you have better things to do
Than rock and roll, man?”
Can’t wait to do it all again.