#924: FU!


What is anger?  One of the most powerful of the human emotions.  It can take over your rational mind, but it is just a mask for what is really going on in your head.  Grief, frustration, loss of control…these can all manifest as anger.

Right now, I am angry.

I’m processing a lot of information.  Earlier this week, we lost Joey Jordison of Slipknot, younger than me at age 46.  Before that it was Mike Howe of Metal Church at age 55, not much older than I am.  I didn’t let these deaths affect me.  I didn’t let the losses in.  Ignored and plowed forward.  Sometimes you can handle the shit, sometimes you can’t.  A little bit of denial got me through the days.

Then we lost Don Simmons of Helix.  This one stung because Don’s sister is a long time family friend.  We’ve known her…what, 35 years?  40?  In fact she was going to hook me up with Don for an interview.   Don was 64 and now things were hitting close to home.

Then it was ZZ Top’s Dusty Hill.  Just as long as we’ve known Don’s sister, Dusty Hill has been singing me the blues.  Rocking blues actually, but Dusty and ZZ Top have been a part of my life for so long.  Most of my life.  ZZ Top have been a standby.  Great tunes when I needed them, on demand, when I had the blues or needed a kick.  Dusty’s gone.

And then, mere hours after Dusty, as if the world needed another kick in the balls, an old friend of mine lost his wife.  Age 40.  Multiple sclerosis.  And they are good people.  They did nothing to deserve this.  I worked with him several years ago, but we kept in touch.  Good by, from Newfoundland, who loves AC/DC and Sloan.  And his wife.  She was inspiring.  Those of us touched by neurological disorders tend to feel a bond.  Whether it’s epilepsy or MS, there are many shared experiences.  I always felt like we had this in common; that we were the loving supporters of our sick wives.  So stuff like this, it hits home.  Hard.  I was sad when he moved out to Fort McMurray.  I can’t imagine what he’s going through now.  I don’t want to.

What is my anger masking?  Fear.  Grief.  Confusion.  And I’m going to have to deal with them eventually.

For my friend, in indescribably pain, a song by his favourite band.  No grief here, just rock.  I’m thinking of you.  This one’s for you man.




        1. Personally I’m on record as not liking the idea. But not every band goes the Rush or Zeppelin route. Elwood looks the part at least but it’s gonna be weird.


  1. Sorry about your family losses.

    This week I will be playing Helix,.ZZ and Metal Church.
    I may even dust off an old Slipknot cd that I probably haven’t heard in about 20 years.

    For me musical artist losses make me depressed. I don’t want to talk about it. Want to be left alone by my stereo. I’ve even had to take off work in the past.
    Sorry that your pain has turned to anger. I say go out for a walk in the rain. Go out in the forest and let out some screams. Hopefully you can cleanse the anger. All the best.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The good news is that writing it all out helped.

      I’m playing ZZ all day today.

      I hope Deke and I will have a little time to discuss ZZ Top after Polychuck on Saturday.


  2. So sorry to hear about your friend. Lost for words…

    And Dusty. Only saw ZZ Top once in concert. Gary Moore was the opening act. Went to see Gary but admit enjoying ZZ Top as well.

    Got a story about Jordison…went to see Murderdols long ago and was hanging around to get my cd signed by the band. One of them just ignored me and Joey found out and he went and dragged the guy out and made him sign my cd. Joey really cared about his fans.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sincere condolences from all of us here for the loss of your friend. It was indeed an exceedingly rough week in music losses too. I’m glad you were able to write it out, I’m sure it helped.

    Liked by 1 person

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