#979: Island Boys

RECORD STORE TALES #979: Island Boys

Rarely in our travels have we come across a group that sucks as hard as the so-called Island Boys.

Devoid of talent, Franky and Alex Venegas are fraternal Florida twins with hair that looks like corn dogs sprouting from the scalp.  Going by the names “Kodiyakredd” and “Flyysoulja”, the pair’s vacuous talents emerged in a track called “Island Boy” which essentially has only one part.  Of course, today’s times being what they are, they became viral on TikTok, spawning parodies and comedic lookalikes.  It’s not hard — just rip off your shirt, draw some ratty tats on your chest and face, stick some corn dogs in your hair and you’re an Island Boy.

Though endorsed by Steve-O, the Island Boys saw themselves booed off the stage in Florida when performing their semi-written song, which still needs some bridges, choruses and a middle 8.  Instead of working on their craft, the guys keep making videos of them showing off cash, diamond grills, cars and swimming pools all while singing the same damn lines.

“I’m just an island boy,
And I’m trying to make it.
I’m just an island boy,
And I’m trying to make it.”

Then they rhyme “I’m gonna keep that gun” with “keep staring at the sun”. That’s about all there is to the song. Wash rinse repeat.

If you were trying to “make it” as the Island Boys are, you might start by finishing the damn song.  Putting music to it.  Finishing the words.  Coming up with a damn ending.  But nah.

Instead the Island Boys have multiplied and “signed” two new Island Boys!  They call them 3rd Island Boy and 4th Island Boy.  They have even less talent than the first two.  3rd Island Boy can barely speak, punctuating his slurs with “brrrrt” sound effects.  He is otherwise unintelligible.  The 4th Island Boy is almost worse, grinning and smiling when asked to rap, but not actually rapping.

You’d think, given the cash that they like to flash in their videos, that they could have hired a couple actual rappers or musicians.  It seems the Island Boys hired their new members based on looks alone.  Good news:  the 4th Island Boy is planning on dying his hair to fit in better!  Glad these guys have their eyes on the prize.  Lotsa luck.

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