DVD REVIEW: Kenny vs. Spenny – Season Six (2010)

Dedicated to my best friend Peter who first got me hooked on this show.

KENNY VS. SPENNY – Season Six (2010 Showcase)

With Kenny Hotz and Spencer Rice currently doing their Kenny vs. Spenny vs. Canada tour (even hitting Owen Sound, Ontario of all places), there couldn’t be a better time to review the final season of their influential TV show. Influential? Yes. Clone shows such as Ed vs. Spencer (UK), Elton vs. Simon (Germany) and numerous others have proven that the concept had legs. Maclean’s Magazine declared Kenny vs. Spenny #8 in the top 10 Canadian shows of the 2000’s.

What was the concept? Two best friends compete in a grueling challenge. One (Kenny) likes to cheat, while one (Spenny) tries to play the honest game. The loser of the challenge each week has to perform a “humiliation” – a usually disgusting punishment for failure.

As much as I love this show, I think Season Six proved the boys were running out of ideas. After six seasons it gets a little hard to think of fresh things to compete over, not to mention Kenny had all but abandoned the concept of competing.  Instead he focused on novel ways to cheat and offend.

Here are your episodes:

“Who’s The Bigger Idiot?” – Originally a web-only release. I actually preferred it to many of the actual aired episodes this season. Spenny makes some fun retro-style videos, recreating the most idiotic moments of his past. 4/5 stars

KVS_0003“Who Can 69 The Longest?” – Even the crew got bored with this one. A dull season opener. All humiliation, no competition. At least Kenny got it equally bad. 1/5 stars

“Who Can Squeeze More Boobs?” – I found this one to be too similar to past episodes, further proof that the boys were running out of ideas. 2/5 stars

“Who Can Keep His Head In A Chicken Coop The Longest?” – Better than the previous two. However, once again, Kenny got bored and had to change the competition to something else, because let’s face it, you can only watch a guy with a chicken coop on his head for so long. Great punishment, though. 2/5 stars

“Who Can Get Further With The Other Guy’s Mom?” – I knew this one would be a dead-end letdown just by the title, and I was right. 1/5 stars

“Who Can Win a Cockfight?” – This is a little bit better. Taking a cue from shows like Robot Wars, Kenny and Spenny attach all sorts of mechanisms to their mid-sections and do battle! 3/5 stars

KVS_0002“Who’s A Better Basketball Coach?” – A classic case of who can out-think the other. I’m not a basketball fan by any stretch, so I found that aspect boring, but the competition itself keeps you guessing. 3/5 stars

“Who Do Black Guys Like More? Pt. 1 and Pt. 2” – A two-parter. Part one mostly sets up the competition. As you can imagine, Kenny does everything he can to defame Spenny. I thought this one was pretty fun due to some pretty interesting guests. 3/5 stars

“Who Can Have More Fun?” – I loved this episode. Obviously, Kenny’s idea of fun and Spenny’s idea of fun are two diametrically opposed things. Spenny comes up with some pretty strong strategies in this one. Kenny is at his destructive best. 4/5 stars

“Who Can?” – This season really, really came into its own by the end. This episode is the first of four 5-star episodes in a row. Essentially, it starts off as a behind-the-scenes episode. Spenny arrives at the house (offering the first clue that the guys don’t actually live there together) to find that Kenny has declared himself Emperor. The competition was supposed to be about badminton, but Kenny refuses to break his Emperor character. Spenny then spends the episode trying to figure out what the actual competition is! Kenny brings out a cavalcade of characters and costumes with a climax that had me in tears. 5/5 stars

“Who Can Produce The Best Commercial?” – Best episode of the season. “Frommagio Al Forno! Good thinkin’, Mama!” It’s episodes like this that make me wonder if Spenny really is as stupid as he appears, because he sure comes off as stupid in this one. Look for a cameo in this one by Federico Castelluccio (Furio) from the Sopranos. 5/5 stars

“Who Can Put On The Best Play?” – Kenny’s play was offensive as ever. Spenny’s made me cringe. I’m shocked he actually thought he could act. 5/5 stars

“Who Can Stay On An Island The Longest?” – What a great Kenny dupe. What a way to end the season. The boys take a trip to the Caribbean, to see who can stay on an island the longest. If you think this is just a simple remake of “Who Can Stay In The Woods The Longest?” think again! 5/5 stars

After Season Six, the boys decided to make one final (absolutely terrible) Christmas special, and that was it. Kenny Vs. Spenny really peaked in the third and fourth seasons. Season Six got off to a pretty slow start, only coming into its own towards the end, making it the weakest season of the series. The competitions were getting more and more ridiculous and far removed from the original premise. Kenny’s absurd sense of humour kept the series watchable, but it was no longer about “Who is the best” at something. It became Kenny humiliating Spenny for 22 minutes.

Hopefully, the boys release some kind of DVD from the Kenny vs. Spenny vs. Canada tour.  This DVD, unfortunately, is woefully short on bonus features.  A photo gallery and a few outtakes are all you’ll get.  No behind the scenes features as on previous seasons.

3/5 stars. Good thinkin’ Mama.

QUIZ WINNER! Lego Album Covers 2

We have a winner in the Lego Album Covers 2 contest!  As promised, the winner gets my eternal respect and a shout-out.  The winner is…

LEMON KURRI KLOPEK!

Who successfully named all five albums –

  1. White Lion – Big Game
  2. Marillion – The Thieving Magpie (La Gazza Ladra)
  3. Mad Season – Above
  4. Nine Inch Nails – Ghosts I-IV
  5. The Beatles – Yesterday and Today (butcher cover)

I had a complaint of “fixing” from somebody, but I won’t mention their name number!

Congrats to Mike aka Lemon Kurri Klopek who now has my eternal respect.

LKK

REVIEW: Anvil – Juggernaut of Justice (Deluxe and iTunes versions)

For my recent review of Anvil’s This Is Thirteen on vinyl, click here!

JUGGERNAUT_0001ANVIL – Juggernaut of Justice (2011 The End Records)

When I first heard all that cowbell on the track “Fukeneh!” I screamed aloud, “YES!” Anvil don’t give a crap about what’s trendy and what ain’t. That’s why they’re still around over 30 years later, and Juggernaut of Justice was one of their best albums since the early 80’s.

It’s not commercial, but it is more accessible. As good as This Is Thirteen was, I like Juggernaut of Justice better. It is slickly produced by Bob Marlette (at Dave Grohl’s Studio 606). Bob Marlette is not my favourite producer, I’ll admit that, but he’s done a bang-on job here. A little trebly on the guitars in the mix, but otherwise a fine, clear sharp production job. Lip’s vocals are more accessible, but not overproduced. You can still hear flat notes here and there, which is good!  I like production to remain authentic.  Kudos to Marlette who made a great sounding Anvil album.

Every song is great. I especially loved “Conspiracy” and “Fukeneh!”. “On Fire” is cool and fun lyrically, an obviously autobiographical tune about Lips himself. The title track is great, and so is the galloping nu-metal sheen of “This Ride” (featuring bassist Glenn Five on vocals.)  Yet there are no weak tracks, Anvil sharpening their metal edges.  With the exception of the 7-minute “Paranormal,” (a great slow burner) all songs are in the 3-4 minute range, packing maximum punch into the grooves.  Also noteworthy is the horn-laden metal of “Swing Thing”!  This great instrumental shows off the considerable chops of drummer Robb Reiner. It is the icing on top of this heavy metal treat!

I love the cover art, which reminds me of Endgame by Megadeth for whatever reason. (Also “Conspiracy” reminded me of some of the lyrical themes on Endgame.)

I liked Juggernaut of Justice enough to buy it twice: Once digitally, to get the bonus track “What I Want To Be”, and then the limited edition CD which has its own pair of bonus tracks. “The Station” grinds along relentlessly, with a metallic sheen of multiple layered guitars. “Tonight Is Coming” is more basic, but with G5 hanging out on the upper frets of his bass every now and then to give it some flavour. The chorus is pretty amusing: “Tonight is coming, all day long!”*

The digital bonus track, “What I Want To Be” is the best of the three, a bright metal song with Reiner playing it fairly straight and the transmission in drive. Each bonus is a perfectly fine track, so purchase as you feel so inclined.

Very, very happy with this album. I had my doubts due to the presence of Bob Marlette instead of Chris Tsangarides, but…well done, Bob.

4.5/5 stars

* their new album, Hope In Hell, features the song “Flying” with the following lyric:

“Tel Aviv to Turkey then down through Greece,
Back home to Canada to see our famous geese.”

You gotta love that.

QUIZ: Lego Album Covers 2

Slight increase in difficulty.  See if you can name all five.

This time, don’t answer in the comments section — instead, send your answers straight to me.  Click here and fill out the contact form!  The first person to name all five wins my eternal respect and a shout-out on my blog.  Cool?  Let’s play!

 

Part 289: Tom’s Frozen Beater

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 289:  Tom’s Frozen Beater

This is a previously unreleased story!  It was first recorded in audio format only, as a special “exclusive” Record Store Tale for Sausagefest XII.  Now, the text version is available for all to enjoy — a rare exclusion to the “What happens at Sausagefest, stays at Sausagefest” rule.

It was early in 1995, winter.  The near-legendary Tom, who today hosts Sausagefest every year, was working the day shift at our mall store.  I was working the 5-9 shift.  As was my modus operandi, I showed up early (about 4:30) to check out the new stock and do bank runs.  Tom and I caught up for a bit; he was acting as store manager for the moment and let me know what needed to be done.

His shifted ended, Tom met some of his friends at the store, and departed.  I began my shift and started pricing new CDs for sale.

10 minutes later, Tom and his friends stormed back into the store.

TOM2“FUCK! Fucking piece of shit car! Fucking doors are frozen shut!”

It was the first time I had ever seen Tom enraged.

“Jeez, is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not unless you have lock de-icer on you,” Tom responded.  I did not have lock de-icer.  I had walked to work.

I’m assuming the Zellers store in the mall was also sold out of de-icer, because Tom’s next proposed solution surprised me.

“Fuck it.  I’ll just sleep here tonight.  I have to open tomorrow anyway.  Yeah, fuck it.  This is fine.  I’ll fucking just lie down in between Easy Listening and Rap.  Fuck it.  Yeah.  Fuck, I’m sleeping here tonight.”

Great googly-moogly!  Was that even allowed?  Tom scoped out that section of floor, eyeballing it, making mental measurements.

“Fuck, this is perfect, I’ll just sleep right there on the floor.”

Thankfully one of Tom’s friends found some hot water from the mall coffee shop, and with some effort they got one of the car’s doors open.  If they hadn’t, it might have been the first time somebody slept on the floor!  (It would not have been the last time – a homeless man fell asleep on my floor in the middle of the afternoon once.)

Tom however has a different conclusion to the story:  “A little piss on the lock and voila…”

NEWS: QUEENSRYCHE conclusion – the band get the name

Queensryche get the name.  Geoff Tate gets Mindcrime I and II.

In summation, the band Queensryche purchased the rights to the name from Tate.  In exchange, Tate gets exclusive rights to performances of Operation: Mindcrime I and II.  That sounds like a great solution all around.  So the band Queensryche can’t play Mindcrime in its entirety anymore — who cares!  I don’t.  It’s been done, twice.  Tate’s the guy who has the connection to the story, so for him to play it makes sense to me.  He can change it stylistically if he wants, he can do anything with it.

Some very relieved musicians made some statements today, and fandom breathed a sigh of relief.  It is over.

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REVIEW: Anvil – This Is Thirteen

“Keep on rockin, keep on rockin’, to this metal tonight!”  The first of two Anvil reviews this week!

ANVIL – This is Thirteen (16 track vinyl edition, 2009 VH1 Classic Records)

I won’t go into the whole Anvil story — see the movie (Anvil! The Story of Anvil), and then get this album if you haven’t already. Don’t get this album because you feel sorry for Anvil and want to help them on their quest for stardom; buy this album because it is one seriously heavy piece of metal greatness. It’s amazing that thirty years on, a band can come up with something as strong or stronger than their classics.

Surely some of the credit must go to veteran knob-twister Chris Tsangarides (Judas Priest, Thin Lizzy, Bruce Dickinson) who produced This Is Thirteen. Tsangarides, if you’ve heard his past productions, gets a simply great sound and performance out of bands. In particular, heavy bands like Anvil. Everything here sounds great — the drums are pounding, clear and heavy and the guitars are shredding and crisp. Excellent sounding record!  (NOTE:  Tsangarades has been ill recently, and we wish him nothing but the best.)

The songs? Well, originally there were 13 songs…this is Anvil’s 13th album, get it? However, some extras were added to this vinyl edition (more on that later). The core 13 songs are pretty damn strong. I would say heavier than the “classic three” Anvil records, but every bit as catchy and memorable. The riffs are the kind that bore their way through the skull into your brain. And Lips plays almost all the guitars here — clearly, he is not only a talented frontman, but also an underrated shredder.  No one will mistake Lips for Alex Skolnick, but he’s like a more talented Nigel Tufnel — and I mean that in the nicest way — style wise. (Former lead guitarist Ivan Hurd also appears on a handful on tracks.)

Bordering on thrash metal at times, and sinking to Sabbathy lows at others, This Is Thirteen gives you a variety of metal to sink your teeth into. Check out the title track “This is Thirteen” for some seriously heavy doom. Sounds like something on Sabbath’s Dehumanizer CD, even lyrically. I’m sure Dio would approve. Then skip ahead to something fast and heavy like “Shoulda Woulda Coulda”. This Is Thirteen has a little of everything!

Highlights for this listener included the title track, the apocalyptic “Bombs Away”, “Burning Bridges”, “Feed The Greed”, “Room #9” and the three bonus tracks.

I love when bands put bonus tracks on vinyl. It makes the metal geek in me scream in joy. Here there are three:

14. “Thumb Hang” – a song Lips & Robb wrote in highschool, about the Spanish Inquisition. Finally recorded 30 years later, it’s actually a pretty decent song!

15. “Metal On Metal” – re-recorded for that heavier sound, but don’t worry, it’s not modernized at all. It’s a straight remake, just better sounding.

16. “666” – same deal. The great thing about these re-records is that it allows new Anvil fans to get their two best known songs along with the new album. Pretty genius if you asked me!*

My only gripe? Occassionally Lips’ voice can be a little grating. I have the same issue when I listen to Megadeth for a couple hours on end. I just can’t listen to Mustaine’s voice for too long in a row. Lips’ voice isn’t as grating to me, but too much Anvil and I need to play something else.

4/5 stars

* These three songs were later re-released on the 2011 Anvil compilation Monument of Metal.

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REVIEW: Bon Jovi – The Circle (2009 CD/DVD edition)

CIRCLE_0004BON JOVI – The Circle (2009 Island CD/DVD edition)

The Circle is an apt title for this Bon Jovi album. They returned from their pop country detour down the Lost Highway and returned to essentially exactly where they were on the previous album, Have A Nice Day. If you are familiar with Bon Jovi, you know that Have A Nice Day was an OK record full of pop rock like “Last Cigarette”, modern and slick. That’s what this record is too, but that’s starting to get a little old.

First single “We Weren’t Born To Follow” (I find that title ironic as Bon Jovi didn’t spend much of their career leading, musically) is a great, uptempo song with a catchy chorus and slick guitar playing by Richie Sambora. It’s another in a long succession of latter day Pop Jovi successes. The best tune on this record is the the “statement song” regarding the economic collapse: “Work For The Working Man”. However, isn’t there something we’ve heard here before? Doesn’t Hugh McDonald’s bassline sound a lot like the one from “Livin’ On A Prayer”?  Even if it’s little more than a rewrite of the same hook, it’s a great song with a powerful chorus.  It has some muscle to it, and is one of the few songs on the album that does.  Rhythmic and strong, this echoes not only “Prayer” but also “Keep The Faith” in some respects.

Elsewhere on the album, there are some intriguing sounds that almost remind me of the back-to-basics goodness that was These Days, and the heavier moments on Bounce (see: “Bullet”).  However “Bullet” is also bears unpleasant similarities to Collective Soul. There are also moments that take me back to Lost Highway and Crush ,but not in a good way.  Songs like “Fast Cars” and “Brokenpromiseland” (ugh!) just sit there like the flaccid Pop Jovi songs that they are.  Bon Jovi are on cruise control.

CIRCLE_0002My two favourite Bon Jovi albums of recent vintage (ie: post-Keep the Faith) are the criminally underrated These Days, and Bounce. What the band need to do is: A) get their MVP back, Mr. Richie Sambora.  B) write an album without all these outside writers like John Shanks and Billy Falcon, based on rock and roll, not the radio.  The Circle is close at times.  “Learn To Love” for example was written by Jon and Richie with Desmond Child, and approaches a vintage These Days epic quality.

How likely is Bon Jovi to rock out like they used to? The DVD documentary included with this edition of The Circle is not encouraging. Entitled When We Were Beautiful (named for the U2-like song on the album), it is an insightful look into the inner workings of Bon Jovi.  It also has some enticing live clips. (Please, Jon, please! Release a full length audio version of Richie singing “I’ll Be There  For You”, it’s great!) However it is quite clear that Jon is the driving force of the band, and the rest of the guys are salaried employees of the corporation.  Jon is very clear that he’s a businessman and he must make albums that he thinks people will like.  It’s unfortunate that he’s decided that pop music is the answer.  I think it’s unlikely Jon will be breaking new ground again soon.

But you never know.

3/5 stars

Part 288: The Lady In Red?

RECORD STORE TALES Part 288: The Lady In Red?

In mid-1996, I was minding the store one sunny morning. It was a pleasant summer day. A quiet morning, I was at the counter inputting new stock. As I slaved over a hot keyboard, entering CD after CD into inventory, I saw an old lady in a slinky red dress enter the store. As was our custom, I said hello as she entered. She didn’t respond and I went back to entering CDs as she looked around the easy listening section of the store.

That is when I noticed something very unusual with the lady in red.  (For the time.)

LADY IN REDMy boss noticed it too, as he emerged from his office in the back. She barely had any hair on her head. We both came to the realization at the same time: the lady in red was a man!

An old, skinny, bald man in a red dress!

It was not a pleasant sight, this skeletal frame accented by the loose silky red fabric.  LGBTQ+ is A-OK by me but this was a sight from a horror movie.  A living dead zombie in a dress.  Shopping for CDs.

My boss and I exchanged glances. We looked back at the man, just to make sure our eyes were not deceiving us. No; that was most definitely an ancient man in that red dress, casually browsing the easy listening section. Perhaps he was looking for some old Chris de Burgh?

My boss said to me, “Mike, can you go over there and see if he needs help finding anything?”

We watched as the skeleton spent 10 or 20 minutes browsing, the only customer in the whole store. Then without a word, but with a flourish of his red dress, he left. I never saw him again.

I wonder if I would have made a customer if I had approached the walking cadaver in red for help? Too bad I didn’t have a copy of The Very Best of Chris de Burgh. I could have popped in his theme song and made a sale!