BEHOLD! The inspiration and artwork of the Mad Metal Man, Harrison Kopp, knows no bounds.
In this incredible piece of art, Harrison has paid homage to Albany’s greatest band, BLOTTO, in Lego form! This is a first of its kind for the band.
In the artwork you can clearly see the five core members of the band, with their images paying tribute to the “Metal Head” music video (and the Combo Akimbo album in Bowtie Blotto’s case). Their backdrop is a reference to their Across & Down EP, with a crossword puzzle painstakingly made by Harrison. Even the audience members in the photo contain Easter eggs and references to Blotto songs, and maybe even the artist himself.
No AI was used in this image, and only minimal Photoshop was employed. The lighting itself is made in a very creative and cool way, with physical lights. Harrison breaks down all the details in the video below. Can you spot them all yourself?
As thanks for creating this art, Harrison has been honoured with the privilege of choosing his own Blotto name. Watch the video to see what name he chose!
HELLO! MY NAME IS BLOTTO – THE MOVIE!(2025 – 1 hour 44 minutes)
Directed by Rob Lichter
I am a firm believer in documenting music history. There are many groups throughout rock history that have had hits, fans, and stories to tell, but with scarce documentation. One such band was Blotto – until now.
In 2025, director Rob Lichter (also known as Bert Blotto) finally released the long-gestating Blotto documentary film, Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie! This film has been a labour of love, and that love comes across in every frame. Meticulous attention to detail, comprehensive live and TV clips, and extensive interview footage with all the band members make up the bulk of this loving look at Albany’s greatest…comedy rock band? Rock comedy ensemble? What are Blotto anyway? This is a question that comes up during the movie several times. Why didn’t the record labels get what Blotto were selling?
“We were not musical enough to be a musical band, and not funny enough to be a comedy act!” sums up guitarist and singer Broadway Blotto. “We wanted fame with a living wage.”
“We weren’t rich and famous; we were solvent and well known,” responds guitarist and singer Bowtie Blotto.
Starting out in the early 1970s as the Star Spangled Washboard Band, three of the founding members of Blotto first began playing comedic bluegrass music. They used costumes and aliases: “Broadway Harris” for example (no relation to Bill & Emily). The roots of Blotto were forming, though in a genre far removed from rock. You’ll see early TV appearances, featuring Bowtie’s much bigger hair, and some music that was later rocked up into Blotto songs, such as “High School Honey”. The Star Spangled Washboard Band earned great reviews and plenty of laughs. Their knack for quick comedy was evident, as the chemistry between Sarge, Broadway and Bowtie blossomed. It’s possible that I saw the Star Spangled Washboard Band on television back when I was a child, as they appeared on programs like the Mike Douglas Show, which was a TV staple in our house.
From the bass-playing hotspot of Ballston Spa, New York, came Cheese Blotto, a gifted musician who had a knack for groove. The Washboard Band never launched into super-stardom though, as misfortune derailed a big New York City gig. The band broke up in 1978, but of course, they couldn’t stay apart forever. Working as a bartender, Cheese was eager to be on stage instead of serving drinks, so he called his old buddies for a jam. They didn’t even have a name, but washboard was out and rock was in.
The band acquired singer Blanche Blotto, who started as a fan (a “Blottette”), and became a key member, singing lead on “Stop (In The Name of Love)”. Finally, they found drummer Lee Harvey Blotto, who fit in like a glove from day one. “You’ll know the songs better than they do,” he was assured.
Blotto wisely decided to record some demos. “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard” became a hit, earning radio play in New York City, and crucial airtime on the fledgling MTV. “Lifeguard” was in fact the 36th song ever played on MTV, on day one. Did you know the video was filmed on a freezing cold April day?
Shortly after “Lifeguard”, Blotto secured a recording with legendary producer Bob Clearmountain, which yielded two songs in one overnight session. Unsurprisingly, they sounded great. Sadly, it never led to a major label deal as they hoped. “I think Atlantic Records is going in a different direction than Blotto,” went one heartbreaking rejection.
The film is divided into six sections, each one covering an era of the band. It is augmented by interviews with the people who were there at the time, including MTV VJ Martha Quinn to talk about “Lifeguard” burning up TV screens nationwide. Buck Dharma, who shared their sense of humour, appears to discuss the hit “Metal Head”. We even get to see outtakes from the innovative music video. This movie is packed full of facts, fans, and perspectives from Albany New York, where they became local heroes. Sadly, the talented Cheese Blotto passed away in 1999, and only TV footage remains of him. Though we lost Sarge in 2019, plenty of interviews with him remain. Past members Chevrolet, Hammerhead and Clyde Blotto also appear, fleshing out the documentation of the different lineup changes.
“Chevrolet Blotto, our newest Blotto, was auditioned mainly on the strength of his last name,” jokes Broadway in a vintage interview clip.
There are clips of unreleased songs such as “I Love You Calvin Klein”. There are so many stories; hilarious stories. Detailed stories about the creation of the songs and the album covers. There are tragic stories of loss, and bizarre tales of Blotto haters. Who could hate Blotto?
This is the only unanswered question that the film leaves open. Who could hate Blotto? Though the labels had no idea what to do with them, the fans kept coming back through theme nights, Blottoweens, reunion gigs and new members. The band never really packed it in. They moved on; got other work. Lee Harvey even did double duty as a lawyer and a lifeguard. But they never really stopped being Blotto. As Blanche says, it’s always a part of them.
Though I laughed throughout the film, there are tears to be shed as well. Both Cheese and Sarge went too soon, and it is clear that they are missed. Each member of the band brought something to the table. Sarge was not just a singer, but also an artist. Cheese’s disco grooves were magically delicious, and his decision to go bald brought a new visual dimension to the band. Their quick wits are on sharp display in the vintage footage.
I have always felt like the world needed more Blotto. Their small treasure chest of tunes is easy to devour in a sitting or two. Now, we finally have more Blotto, and a serious addition to the catalogue it is. Hello! My Name is Blotto – The Movie! is a constantly entertaining deep dive on a band that we needed more of. A band that the world needs to hear. Anyone who likes music would enjoy this film, and maybe become a new fan, just a few decades late.
There’s an old saying; I think it goes back to Aristotle. It goes, “Never meet your heroes.”
I think we can prove that wrong, right here.
Quick recap: I first heard Blotto’s song “Metal Head” as a young kid. Not sure what to make of these guys, I filed it away as “interesting” but never had the opportunity to hear more through my younger life. I even worked at a used CD store from 1994-2006. You know how many used CDs by Blotto came in during that 12 year span? Zero! Not a one! I started to wonder if they were a real band. Fortunately, along came the internet, confirming that my memory wasn’t playing tricks on me. Some of the core Blotto members first assembled in the early 1970s, as the Star Spangled Washboard Band. They had albums and singles. Yet, up here in Kitchener Ontario Canada, nobody I knew had the record, heard the record, or knew where to buy the record. It was frustrating as hell, but I never forget the name “Blotto” nor the song “Metal Head”. The music video was indelible. The singer had charisma! The band looked unique. One guy was bald (a rarity in 80s rock bands) and one guy had glasses and wore a tie!? What was with that? In the 80s, we had Revenge of the Nerds and I couldn’t help but wonder what this band was about, because visually, that was what I was seeing! A nerd with a guitar? It made no sense to 13 year old me.
But I never forget.
Fast forward to 2018. My pal Aaron and I had this summer ritual of hitting Toronto to go record shopping. This trip almost never happened because Jen’s mom was dying of cancer and we only had so many weekends together left. However, she ordered me: “Mike, go with your friend.” And so, first thing in the morning, we embarked. The first store we hit was BMV and there it was: Combo Akimbo by Blotto, featuring the song “Metal Head”. Flip the record over. There was the bald guy, and the guy with the glasses! I snapped it up immediately. It went under my arm and stayed there until checkout. There was no question I was getting it. The whole trip was documented on video, including this find. In the video, I was delighted to find the guys all had “Blotto” names: Sarge Blotto, Bowtie Blotto, Broadway Blotto, Cheese Blotto, and Lee Harvey Blotto too. I got the gag, and all my hopes were confirmed when I dropped the needle on that record later that night.
Fast forward again. We lost Jen’s mom, and I started writing again. My Blotto reviews were spotted by drummer F. Lee Harvey Blotto himself, who contacted me in gratitude. He even sent me a shirt, while defending their cover of “Stop! In the Name of Love” which I wrote slightly negatively about. “What a cool guy,” I thought to myself.
I wore that Blotto shirt with pride until it pretty much wore out. I also emailed F. Lee in 2019 when Sarge passed away from cancer. What shitty disease it is.
I continued to listen to and love my Blotto albums over the years. I purchased the Collected Works CD which has most of their studio material. The rest of their discography eluded me, at least at prices that Jen won’t smite for me. And finding Blotto, in the wild, in Ontario? Not frequent, or I would have had an album sooner than 2018!
I’ve lost a lot of weight since then!
Fast forward again! It is now 2025, and to my delight, I discovered that a Blotto documentary film was coming! Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie, directed by Rob “Bert Blotto” Lichter will premier April 12 at the Cohoes Music Hall. I asked for any band member to come on my show Grab A Stack of Rock to talk about it.
A day or two later, F. Lee emailed. “Why not!” he said, and offered the whole band and director Bert too.
And so we did the interview, and it was a lot of fun and hopefully gained the band a few new fans. I know that among many of my regulars, particularly in Australia, it was their first time hearing and seeing Blotto.
What was really cool was the pre and post-show chat when we weren’t recording. Bert was first to arrive in the virtual studio, and his passion for Blotto was only exceeded by his feelings of camaraderie with them. We chatted a bit, and then Bowtie arrived. He was curious about me, so I told him I was from about an hour west of Toronto in a place called Kitchener/Waterloo.
Without pause, Bowtie said “We played there as the Star Spangled Washboard Band in the early 1970s. 1975 or so. We also played Guelph and Richmond Hill.”
My jaw must have dropped at that moment. Guelph is pretty obscure even among Canadians. And Bowtie pronounced it right, which most people don’t do on their first try. He said that Broadway Blotto would remember. I speculated that they might have played at the Coronet Club, not far down the street from me. They were known for their regular-hours lunch menu, and strippers and rock bands at night. That was the kind of place that Blotto would have played up here, as Bowtie and Broadway confirmed.
Also confirmed by F. Lee: There are lots of Blotto live collections up on Spotify waiting to be streamed. Lots more music for me to hear, right at my fingertips.
At the end of the show, the Blotto guys thanked me for my support over the years and said some very kind things about my writing. I’ll tell you, there is nothing better than when someone whose art you admire, tells you that they also like what you do.
Broadway called us “kindred spirits” which I find very flattering, but this is where it gets really cool.
He asked me to choose my own “Blotto name”.
I thought about it, and I played with Hoser Blotto for a little bit. I ultimately decided on “Kitchener Blotto”, because that really identifies me. Maybe there are lots of fellow hosers who are Blotto fans, but I hope when Blotto hears the word Kitchener, they think of me. And the strip club.
Thank you guys.
Don’t meet your heroes? Pfft. Choose your heroes wisely, I say.
As Blotto themselves know, from the making of their new documentary film Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie, sometimes great stuff happens when the tape stops rolling! That happened to me on Tuesday February 25, after finishing up my interview with the band.
During the pre-show chat, Bowtie Blotto told me that they had played my home town of Kitchener, as well as my dad’s city of Guelph. And he asked Broadway Blotto what he remembered of those gigs.
Check out the funny story in the YouTube short below, and check out the full interview if you haven’t already!
GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and Blotto Episode 92: Hello! My Name Is Blotto! The Interview
Blotto hit the sand on MTV with “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard”, being among the first 40 videos played on their first morning as a station. Then came “Metal Head”, Metal For Breakfast, and a heck of a lot of gigs. The core members were all named Blotto: Sarge, Cheese, F Lee, Broadway and Bow Tie. Sadly we lost Cheese and Sarge, but for this special interview, F Lee, Broadway and Bow Tie reunited with director Bert Blotto on Grab A Stack of Rock. It’s a Blotto reunion, and a good time was had by all.
The subject is a new movie about to premier on April 12 at Cohoes Music Hall: Hello! My Name Is Blotto! The Movie. Director Rob “Bert Blotto” Lichter has carved this film from many hours of archives, like a sculptor cuts wood. Join the Blotto guys and I, as we check out the movie trailer and hear firsthand stories from the band. There are laughs a-plenty, some serious moments, and some fan geekery. You’ll always hear about the one (hilarious) unreleased track that was never recorded.
It is clear that for Rob, this is a work of passion and pride, as well as hope. Indeed, Blotto deserve a larger audience, for their music still rings true and makes us laugh.
Plus, Bow Tie does the “Dr. Bow” laugh from “Goodbye Mr. Bond” and if that isn’t worth the price of admission, I don’t know what is.
Video premieres at 7:00 PM Eastern.
Thursday February 27 at 7:00 P.M. E.S.T. / 8:00 P.M. Atlantic. Enjoy on YouTube.
GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and Blotto Episode 92: Hello! My Name Is Blotto! The Interview
Blotto hit the sand on MTV with “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard”, being among the first 40 videos played on their first morning as a station. Then came “Metal Head”, Metal For Breakfast, and a heck of a lot of gigs. The core members were all named Blotto: Sarge, Cheese, F Lee, Broadway and Bow Tie. Sadly we lost Cheese and Sarge, but for this special interview, F Lee, Broadway and Bow Tie reunited with director Bert Blotto on Grab A Stack of Rock. It’s a Blotto reunion, and a good time was had by all.
The subject is a new movie about to premier on April 12 at Cohoes Music Hall: Hello! My Name Is Blotto! The Movie. Director Rob “Bert Blotto” Lichter has carved this film from many hours of archives, like a sculptor cuts wood. Join the Blotto guys and I, as we check out the movie trailer and hear firsthand stories from the band. There are laughs a-plenty, some serious moments, and some fan geekery. You’ll always hear about the one (hilarious) unreleased track that was never recorded.
It is clear that for Rob, this is a work of passion and pride, as well as hope. Indeed, Blotto deserve a larger audience, for their music still rings true and makes us laugh.
Plus, Bow Tie does the “Dr. Bow” laugh from “Goodbye Mr. Bond” and if that isn’t worth the price of admission, I don’t know what is.
Video premieres at 7:00 PM Eastern.
Thursday February 27 at 7:00 P.M. E.S.T. / 8:00 P.M. Atlantic. Enjoy on YouTube.
Show notes
Rob Lichter’s Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie! Is set to premiere at Cohoes Music Hall on Saturday, April 12. The film spans the origins of the band members starting as The Star-Spangled Washboard Band in the 1970’s, their evolution to Blotto and heyday in the 1980’s, and their long afterlife up to the present.
This film is the brainchild of Rob Lichter, aka Bert Blotto, a multimedia expert and longtime friend of Blotto. 25 years of footage and interviews plus archives going back to 1972! Why a documentary, and why now in 2025? Whose idea was it to create a film? How did this evolve?
Is the film done, edited, finished, ready to roll?
Obviously MTV was important to the success of the band, having been one of the first 40 videos played on the station. MuchMusic in Canada also played a lot of Blotto and I’m wondering what your career was like in Canada.
What were you guys thinking, making music videos before there even was an MTV?
What was that feeling like, seeing your music video on national TV?
Did the Metal For Breakfast compilation album bring “Metal Head” to another level?
When prepping this interview, a friend asked me if Buck Dharma from BOC was on Metalhead and I confirmed. How did you get that to happen?
“Video 45” on VHS from Sony with three videos of Blotto songs that also received wide exposure from airplay on MTV, including “Metalhead,” with Donald “Buck Dharma” Roeser from Blue Öyster Cult on lead guitar.” How did this happen?
I was struck by the one quote in the trailer about how some people thought Blotto was making fun of the music they liked. I felt the same way! I didn’t know how to take this band. There was a bald guy and a guy with a tie and glasses! They did look like they were “taking the piss” as the English say.
Each guy in the band had a different look. How did you approach Blotto as a visual band?
Were there any musical genres off limits to you guys?
What about musicianship? Obviously you guys could play. Were there any ideas you had that were beyond your abilities?
I’ve always wondered who is singing lead on HSH? Bowtie?
Any plays for DVD or Blu? Or even a soundtrack album?
2018 was, shall we put it mildly, an interesting year. It was the summer that wasn’t. The year I spent the best months of the year driving to and from Toronto, at first waiting for a miracle, and then waiting for the inevitable. When my beloved mother in law finally passed away in September of that year, at least she left the pain behind.
Her decline at the end of the summer was rapid. Before she got too sick, she insisted that I still go record shopping with Aaron as we used to do annually. “You go and have a good time.” She had no way to know how important that was. That one record shopping excursion changed everything for Jen and I that summer. A discovery I made on that trip impacted the whole rest of the summer. That discovery was Blotto.
I’ve talked numerous times about how the skillfully comedic sounds of Blotto made the summer driving tolerable. I’ve trumpeted the merits of Blotto ad nauseum, but it cannot be overstated how important that music was to us at that time. And I had no real idea what I was buying. I just knew Blotto had one song in the 80s – “Metal Head” – that I saw on MuchMusic as a kid. But I didn’t think they were a metal band. They had a bald guy and a guy who looked like Revenge of the Nerds. They sported funny names like “Bowtie” and “Cheese”. For the sake of personal musical history, I wanted “Metal Head” in my collection. So there in the basement of BMV, with Aaron at my side, for a mere $8.99, I acquired their important album Combo Akimbo. It was the best decision I made all summer.
What I got was a nine-track comedy-rock album that kept us in positive spirits as we drove up and down Highway 401 all summer. And what is amazing is that I can play the album today and still feel the same things.
The bad memories are still there. They bubble to the surface. I can see myself behind the wheel, stopping and starting again all the way to Toronto. I hear Jen singing along next to me. But the pain is manageable, and the positive feelings outweigh the bad.
Of the nine songs, there was always one that made us laugh the most. That song was “It’s Not You”. Not only is it a catchy song with a cool guitar lick, but the lyrics are hilarious. I’m glad that Blotto was not tainted by the summer of 2018 and I can still enjoy their music with a huge grin on my face. That’s the gift. All too often, because acquires the feelings of the times you hear it, and if those times weren’t good, it’s hard to get around. Fortunately that didn’t happen with Blotto. I feel only good feelings, especially when I play “It’s Not You”. I can’t help but smile, every time.
This is something that’s not easy to do, It will hit you like a bolt from the blue, After last night, I have to tell you we are through.
When we’re alone, everything is OK, But it’s never gonna stay that way, When I take you home, your family has so much to say.
I try and I try, to be cool when they start, But girl, they’re the ones who are tearing us apart.
It’s not you! Don’t blame yourself It’s not you! No-one can help. It’s not you! I can’t be your man. It’s not you! It’s your family that I can’t stand. And it’s driving me crazy!
Your mother wants to know if I am on drugs, Your brother shows me his collection of bugs, Your aunts don’t like me and your uncles are a bunch of thugs.
Your father coughs and blows smoke in my face, He still believes in the superior race, He says if he were president, the world would be a better place.
I try and I try, to ignore them for our sake, But girl, I’m afraid it’s too much for me to take.
It’s not you! Don’t blame yourself It’s not you! No-one can help. It’s not you! I can’t be your man. It’s not you! It’s your family that I can’t stand.
There is no future baby can’t you see, Picture in your mind how it would be, All of us living in relative misery.
I try and I try, to be cool when they start, But girl, they’re the ones who are tearing us apart.
It’s not you! Don’t blame yourself It’s not you! No-one can help. It’s not you! I can’t be your man. It’s not you! It’s your family that I can’t stand.
It isn’t you, It’s only your family, Don’t take it personally, It’s just all those little things, Like when I come over to your house and your father tells me “Don’t park in the driveway, ‘cause your car gets oil on the new white pebbles,” and then when I go inside the house, the cat jumps on my lap, and gets hair all over my shirt and pants, and your grandmother sits the newspaper and gets it so wrinkled and bunched up that I can’t even read it, and your sister brings out her scrapbooks and wants me to look at all of her prom pictures, I mean, who cares! And your brother wants me to help him with his science project, dissecting frogs, ick, what a mess, and I go into the bathroom to wash my hands, and all they have is soft soap, and my hands smell like coconuts, and I can’t dry them on those little guest towels, so I gotta wipe them on my shirt, which is already covered with cat hair, and then when I come outside, your father corners me, and wants to tell me all the jokes he read in Playboy magazine….
I love what we do — talking about the rock that makes us roll!
There are some perks that make it extra-special. A few months ago, I was contacted by Paul Rapp, Esq., known to readers here as F Lee Harvey Blotto! As you’re probably aware, last summer I was on a huge Blotto kick. I raved about the band and began collecting in earnest. Thanks to the magic of the internet, F Lee found my reviews and liked them enough to email me. I learned that while I didn’t care of “Stop! In the Name of Love”, it is one of his favourites! He pointed out that the drums are a terrific homage to Clem Burke on “Heart of Glass”. Perhaps it’ll grow on me!
Mr. Blotto sent me this awesome T-shirt and I wore it to work on casual Friday. Thank you sir for this. Not only is it cool as hell, but I was out of clean laundry too!
What do you think of “Stop! In the Name of Love”? Let me know in the comments below!
Blotto’s discography was dominated by singles and four track EPs. They had one album, the supremely entertaining Combo Akimbo (1982), and that was that! So, when the CD age rolled around, the suits over at Blottones publishing must have decided to get in on that! Almost all Blotto’s output was reissued in a single CD collection, including the complete album Combo Akimbo.
Blotto’s Collected Works is probably the most logical pit-stop to check out the band on your musical journey. We begun with their hit “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard”, from their debut EP Hello, My Name Is Blotto, What’s Yours?. “Lifeguard” represents the hopes and dreams of a shoe salesman who really just wants to get paid to hang out on a beach all day. Done in the surf-rock style of course. Then “(We Are The) Nowtones” is a musical advertisement for the band you should hire for your next event. “We are the Nowtones! We do Top 40! We wear matching outfits! We look real sporty! Like a living juekbox, we play the hits. Appear in nightclubs that are the pits.”
At this point the compilation presents the Combo Akimbo album in sequence. For my money, I prefer the vinyl. Not only is it a self-contained work, but it’s got way more beef to it. Comparing LP to CD, there is no question which sounds better. Combo Akimbo is blast of an album, but we’ve already reviewed it, so check that out for more detail. The key takeaway for most people will be the song “Metal Head” featuring Buck Dharma of Blue Oyster Cult, which received some MTV and MuchMusic play in the early 80s. For a certain generation, this is the only Blotto song they know due to its presence on the legendary compilation LP Metal For Breakfast.
Blotto’s second EP Across and Down (1980) is also presented in sequence. “She’s Got a Big Boyfriend” has a riff similar to the Beatles’ “Paperback Writer”, but the song goes in another direction — 80s pop rock. Then “Gimme the Girl” is tropical reggae vibes via Albany NY. It’s supremely fun for parties. Run for cover if you’re overly sensitive when “My Baby’s the Star of a Driver’s Ed Movie” begins! The classic ballad stylings contrast with the words. The final Across and Down song is the punk rock scorcher “H.S.H.” — “High School Honey”, a clear winner in any race.
“Lightning Strikes” is a real rarity, from a 1982 indy compilation called Hudson Rock: Fifteen Bands From Albany. It’s an also-ran with nice harmonies but is otherwise largely forgettable. A live version of “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard” is better than the studio original, and it’s another rarity. It was originally released on a low quality flexi-disc that came with a 1987 compilation LP also called I Wanna Be a Lifeguard. Then there’s an amusing song called “The B-side”, from the single for “When the Second Feature Starts”. “The A-side gets all the glory, the B-side, that’s another story…and you’re probably not even listening to this right now!”
The only serious skipper is the cover of “Stop! In the Name of Love” with lead vocals by former singer Blanche Blotto. This B-side from the first EP is campy but not particularly good. The overwrought vocals ruin what might have been a cool disco arrangement. Another dicey inclusion is a “karaoke” mix of “Lifeguard” (eww). A better song to include would have been “Bud…Is After Us” from the first EP which otherwise would have made the CD too long.
Yes, it’s the Collected Works, but there’s still a bit more out there to collect. There’s even another compilation CD called Then More Than Ever from 2000, all unreleased material. Still more to explore; but in the meantime consider Collected Works as a great way to get really, really Blotto.
BLOTTO – Tonight at Toad’s (1982 television broadcast)
Since finally “discovering” Blotto this summer, I’ve already viewed their concert Tonight at Toad’s (3/25/82) numerous times, so much that I know the whole broadcast by heart. The comedic rock band took the stage at Toad’s Place (New Haven, CT) for a TV broadcast. The amicable, well-rehearsed group kept things at all times entertaining.
Blotto opened with the satirical “(We Are) The Nowtones)”, an oldies-style advertisement for a band who’ll play anything you want; and they’ll say “thank you” at the end of every song! It’s a clever little pastiche with even the stage lighting being part of the story.
The second broadcast song, “It’s Not You” was from their then-forthcoming album debut, Combo Akimbo. Guitarist Bowtie Blotto has to tell his girl that it’s all over, but it’s not her fault. “It’s not you, it’s your family that I can’t stand.” With a catchy guitar lick, Bowtie tells it how it is. As soon as Bow takes the girl home, her family goes right into him. “I try, and I try to be cool when they start. But girl, they’re the ones who are tearing us apart!”
Your mother wants to know if I am on drugs, Your brother shows me his collection of bugs, Your aunts don’t like me and your uncles are a bunch of thugs. Your father coughs and blows smoke in my face, He still believes in the superior race, He says if he was president, the world would be a better place.
Dear God, that sounds like a nightmare. But it gets worse!
Don’t take it personally, It’s just all those little things, Like when I come over and your father tells me, “don’t park in the driveway ’cause your car drips oil on the new white pebbles!” And then when I come inside, the cat jumps all over my lap, and gets hair all over my shirt and pants! And your grandmother sits on the newspaper and gets it all wrinkled and balled up, I can’t even read it. And your sister brings out her scrap book, she wants me to look at all of her old prom pictures. I mean, who cares! And your brother wants me to help him with his science project, dissecting frogs! Oh, what a mess! And then when I go in the bathroom, and wash my hands, and all they have is soft soap, and my hands smell like coconuts, and I can’t dry ’em on those little guest towels, so I gotta dry ’em on my shirt, which is already covered with cat hair!
What a great little pop rock tune, though. That’s the thing about Blotto. Even if mixing comedy and rock (a dicey proposition to be sure) isn’t your bag, there’s no denying Blotto were top-notch. The musicianship and especially their singing was always spot-on. They could tackle multiple styles easily, and had an arsenal of three lead singers (Bowtie, Broadway and Sergeant Blotto) to harmonize. They also just wrote good songs.
Broadway goes next with “Occupational Hazard”, also from the forthcoming album. Enjoy this decent rock n’ roll track about the dangers of being in a band. Another good tune: if the songs were not good enough, the lyrics wouldn’t carry the show alone.
Blotto’s big hit was 1979’s “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard” from their debut EP. Sergeant Blotto leads the charge to the beach in this surf-rock new-wave anthem. Poor Sarge, stuck working in a shoe store all summer. His dream job? Being a lifeguard of course! “I want an ocean, and some sunscreen lotion. Take me to the beach with a thousand pretty girls in reach!” Sounds awesome Sarge, sign us up.
The show takes a break for an interview with the five Blotto members, including bassist Cheese and drummer Lee Harvey. They talk about the still-untitled album and banter about naturally. Why were Blotto not huge? Watching this video, it’s easy to imagine Blotto appealing to many. The legend goes that they were once offered a major label deal but would have lost creative control. They chose to put out their album on Blotto Records instead. Maybe if they had signed with the label…? Who knows. Watch this interview yourself and see a band that coulda woulda shoulda.
Back to the music. “Goodbye, Mr. Bond” is sung by the evil villain “Dr. Bow”. Any Bond fan will take delight in this spy adventure. Will Bond escape this time? “I could kill you right now, but no! There’s a better way…” That usually doesn’t go well for the villain, but the song goes on the verge of progressive rock during an instrumental breakdown. “Goodbye, Mr. Bond” flows seamlessly into a cover of “Secret Agent Man” with Sarge on lead vocals.
Kids of the 80s remember Blotto for one song: “Metal Head”. Sergeant Blotto’s friends are gettin’ worried. He’s turning into a heavy metal head! It has all the necessary ingredients for a metal song: Solid riff, howlin’ vocals, ripping guitar solos, thunderous drum fills, and screams aplenty.
This great little show is a wonderful way for you to enjoy the next 45 minutes of your life. Get Blotto.
4/5 stars
(We Are) The Nowtones (from 1979’s EP Hello! My Name Is Blotto. What’s Yours?)
It’s Not You (from 1982’s Combo Akimbo)
Occupational Hazard (from Combo Akimbo)
I Wanna Be a Lifeguard (from Hello! My Name Is Blotto. What’s Yours?)
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