RECORD STORE TALES #1064: “Mean People Suck”

Working retail, year after grinding year, can wear you down.  I have friends who have been doing it for over 30 years, and I don’t know how.  I barely lasted ten.  In the end, I checked out before hitting my twelfth anniversary.

I outlasted T-Rev by a couple years.  He had been complaining to me a long, long time about retail.  He managed our Cambridge location.  He was really tiring of the predictable daily routine.  People arguing over prices, condition, or the right of the customer to use our washroom or not.  (Not!)  I worked at his location for many weeks one summer.  They had a cutout from a magazine in the bathroom that said “MEAN PEOPLE SUCK”.  They modified it to read “PEOPLE SUCK”.  Not the kind of thing you want your customers to see.

It was true though.  We were inundated with a such a myriad of stupid and flat-out meanness over the years that it could wear down Mt. Everest to gravel.  I’ve been called an asshole, four-eyes, deaf…and you’re just expected to take it all.  You have to take it with a smile on your face when a customer tries to pull one over on you.  You have to absorb all their rage when you screw up.  Just take it.

I couldn’t always take it.  Some of these guys triggered me and I lashed back verbally.  And I was better at it than any of them.  It happened three times, that I can remember.  And let me tell you, they had it coming!

I paid for it in spades, but they had it coming.

One thing that I blame for this was management’s strict rules about things like returns and reservations.  I didn’t like getting yelled at for accepting returns that I shouldn’t have, so I erred on the side of caution.  I probably could have gotten away with things, like a return without a receipt, and I think other people probably did, but instead I got blasted by customers.  It was kind of a lose/lose.  Having said this, if I remembered the person buying the CD, no problem!  If I didn’t…

Here’s something funny, a lot of customers expected you to remember them.  “Hey!  I’m back!” was a phrase I heard frequently from strangers.  We had regulars that we knew by name, but there were always total strangers who would say, “I was here two weeks, and you sold me a Skynyrd CD, remember?”

When I was a kid, grade 3 or 4, I remember being put in charge of selling things from a table at a school sale.  I had to take change and sometimes make change.  I loved it.  I loved the interaction with the other kids, and all the smiles.  I  think I was only there for an hour, but I felt amazing.  I came home from school that day all aglow, telling my dad that I knew what I wanted to do when I grew up.  It’s a shame the reality didn’t live up to the childhood expectation.

Smiles were infrequent.  You’d think people would be happier buying music.  I am.  On the other hand, just as those customers who berated me on every visit didn’t know me or anything about me, I also did not know them.  Their reasons for their ill tempers were none of my business.

I think we can still all agree on one thing:  mean people suck!

RECORD STORE TALES #1040: The Tag Jar

As your typical mall music store in the 1990s, we had the usual magnetic tag security system.  The idea was fairly simple.  At the store entrance there was a magnetic detector that you had to pass through.  Our merchandise was tagged with these little magnetic strips, about an inch long.  If you passed one of these strips through the detector by the door, a loud siren would be triggered.  It was one of several loss prevention methods we used.

There were two ways to utilise the security tags.  One was to double up with a re-usable security case.  These cases locked the CD into a longer “long box” length package.  This package was tagged on the inside with the magnetic security system.  At the front counter, a special key would unlock the security case.  You’d then put another CD in there and re-use it.  The other method involved tagging the CD or tape itself, in an inconspicuous place on the spine of the cellophane.  In this case, a special magnetic device behind the counter would “de-tag” the disc.  It was not totally reliable so you wanted to use the device three or four times, running it over the tag.  You wanted to make sure you properly de-tagged the item before the customer left the store.

Since no customer liked setting off the security alarm, it was heavily emphasized:  make sure you de-tag!  And we had a jar where you had to pay a dollar if you were caught checking out a customer without de-tagging.  The boss warned us:  everybody screws this up, it’s just a matter of time until you do.  I was like, nahhh man, not me.  I was hired in July and my first dollar went into the tag jar before Christmas.

The money in the tag jar went towards paying for our annual Christmas dinner.  The boss invited one of his personal friends to join us, which in hindsight seems weird.  It was a nice dinner though, and we worked hard earning it.  My first Christmas there was a busy one and we were both buying and selling discs the whole time, all at one little tiny counter.

The security alarms were loud.  You could hear them down the hallway of the mall, all the way down to the Zellers store.  That’s how I got caught one time.  I was hoping the boss didn’t hear me while he was out doing his bank run, but he did, and I had to pony up my dollar.  I couldn’t remember if I de-tagged the guy or not, which meant I probably didn’t.  But sometimes I swear it was just that the device wasn’t de-tagging properly.  Some box sets also had two or three tags on the shrinkwrap.  There were multiple ways to screw it up.

Thieves always find ways around your best security measures, and ultimately the tags were not worth the cost and were phased out in future stores, in a new and innovative way:  ditching new product almost altogether in favour of a 90% used strategy.  But that’s a whole other story.

RECORD STORE TALES #1039: Catalogue

There was one chain back in the Record Store days that was considered our chief rival.  They weren’t really; they were actually much bigger than us, but the Boss Man really had his radar locked on that one specific rival.  The other guy made an offer to buy us out, but there wasn’t much he could do if we were not for sale.  It was a cold war rather than a hot war from my perspective.  I did have to eject the rival from my store once.  We had standing orders (and a picture of the guy behind the counter, a Mutt Lange lookalike) to eject if he was seen in store.  That wasn’t fun.  He was with someone else, a buddy or a business associate and I had to kick him out!

I cannot be certain, but I think one of the main reasons the Boss Man didn’t want his rival in our store was one particular secret.

It is true that we had a general policy of “loose lips sink ships” – meaning “don’t say shit”!  You can imagine how much the Boss loves my website, which is why I don’t name any of the guilty parties, but these stories are from another millennium.  None of it actually matters anymore.  One thing he didn’t want known is just what we were using as our pricing guide when buying and stocking used CDs from the public.

The rival’s store had an annual catalogue.  It was about the size of a telephone book.  From the very start, we used that catalogue as a guide.  We knew their lowest retail price for everything they sold, which was virtually everything currently in print on a major label.  Every year, the store managers were sent out to buy the latest issue.  One at a time, so as to not raise flags.  Every year, we had to make white book covers to disguise the true origin of the catalogues that we could be seen flipping through.  When things got computerized, we scanned, line by line, every single CD in that catalogue to begin our own pricing guide.

It grew from there by many times over, as we added discs from other labels, out of print CDs, and everything else we ran across in our travels.  Within a short period of time, our pricing guide was many times the size of their original catalogue.  Obviously, having a custom made pricing guide on the computer was superior and a mere glimpse at the future.  Still, I kinda miss wrapping those big ole catalogues in paper and decorating the new covers.  The new kids will never know.