The written word doesn’t capture the moment.   The speech I gave was improvised slightly from what you see below.  The final speech given incorporated some comments about gardens, riffing off some things that the priest Father Phil said earlier.  “My Father’s house has many rooms” (John 14:2), he said.  He asked what rooms my grandmother would visit.  I said “the gardens”.  I was able to use that reference later on when I gave my speech.  It was the best speech I’ve ever given, and about 30 or 40 people told me it was incredible.  I wish I had recorded it, but all I have is this.

 

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For most of my life, I’ve only had one grandparent.  Grandma Ladano was gone before I was born.  Grandpa Ladano died in 1981.  We lost Grandpa Winter in 1984.  Since that time I only had one Grandma, and she was very special to all of us.  Not just because she was the only one, as you will hear today.

My mom tells me that Grandma babysat me a lot as a kid.  I don’t remember this very much, but I do remember that she was my favourite babysitter.  I can remember that I would look forward to those nights that Grandma would take care of me.  I also remember visiting her house a lot.  She had board games there that we didn’t have, like Mousetrap and Clue.  The idea was that they wanted us to have special games that we could only play at Grandma’s house, but we didn’t need special games to enjoy those visits.  She let us watch the Flintstones and run around the yard.  She and Grandpa took me to the Welland Canal to see the big ships going through the locks.  It seemed like being there was never boring, even to a kid.  It was always fun to visit Grandma’s house.  My dad and I would pick carrots from her garden, much to her scolding.  My sister and I never took her scolding very seriously.  We heard she could be strict, but she never was with us.

Most of my memories are from adulthood.  I suppose adulthood started with the end of highschool and moving on to University.  I attended Wilfrid Laurier, which was just a short drive from her place.  On Thursdays during my first year, I had a full slate of classes.  I had history and psychology in the afternoons, with a short break before evening Anthropology, which was a favourite of mine.  It was too long a trip to drive all the way home for dinner and back again for class, so instead I had dinner at Grandma’s house.  She would make my favourite:  pork chops in mushroom soup.  That was a special meal that only she made.  It was like a treat.  She’d offer me something for dessert and then I’d be running back to school again.  For her, our visits were always too short.

In 1997, we took a special trip with Grandma and Aunt Marie, out west to see Aunt Lynda and Cousin Geoff in Calgary.  This was a special trip for me.  Work didn’t want me to take a week off in the fall, but I insisted.  I really wanted to go.  That trip was everything I wanted it to be.  Grandma was a little slower moving, and I used to make sure everybody stopped and waited for her to catch up at the airport.  If I saw her lagging behind, I would stop and shout, “Wait for the grandma!”  That was an excellent trip.  We made daily trips out shopping and just relaxing reading books.  We went to the mountains.  Some of my happiest memories are visiting the mountains out west, but that trip was special because Grandma and I really took care of each other that time.

I think one of the best ways we spent time together was driving to the cottage.  I would pick her up at her place, load the car with her planters and bags, and we’d make the two hour trip together.  I’d pick the music; something she’d like.  O Brother Where Art Thou was a favourite of hers.  She liked “You Are My Sunshine”.  Whatever we picked, we’d talk the whole way there.  She would point out all the flowers along the way, which I couldn’t stop to look at because I was driving!  I always found that funny, because Grandma didn’t drive and didn’t realize I had my eyes on the road.  Those were some special trips, just the two of us.

Grandma always supported Dr. Kathryn’s music, even as it got more experimental.  “Kathryn, will you ever play some of the songs that I like?” she would ask.  Kathryn wasn’t into playing anything that wasn’t original and eclectic, but Grandma kept going to her shows anyway.  Few people really understand that kind of music, but Grandma went with the loyalty that only a grandparent has.

At the age of 96, Grandma endured a global pandemic.  The isolation really bothered her, but we did porch visits every other weekend with her.  When Uncle Don died, it really affected her.  Suddenly she was living alone.  She won two battles with Covid, which is unbelievable.  It really felt like Grandma was bulletproof, given all the hardship she endured.  First Uncle Don, then his cat.  This is enough loss for most people to just pack it in.

She was touch as nails.  Covid couldn’t take her down.  Several close calls happened, and she bounced back every time.

In 2024, she had what I will call her final wish.  Grandma loved food.  A good meal of meat and potatoes was all she wanted.  She always told us how much she craved a good old fashioned home cooked feast.  She got it that on Christmas Day 2024.  It was a struggle to move her from her home to ours, up the stairs to the dining room.  There was one moment frozen in time when I thought we’d have to back out and take her home, so difficult were the stairs.  But she made it, and had her one last family dinner with us.  It was a very special moment.  She declined for seven months after.  That trip fulfilled her final wish, but I believe it also took the last of her strength from her.  Also, I think she had a hard realization that she couldn’t come and go anymore.  That there was no way she could do that again.  That she’d never see the cottage again, or have another big family dinner.  But I don’t think she regretted it.  It was a very special night.  She still made it to 101 years old.

All of us went to see her for her birthday that day.  She enjoyed her lunch and coffee, and had a nice rest afterwards.  She was thinking of her sister, Aunt Marie.  Towards the end, it was difficult to see her decline, but her birthday was the last time I saw her.  Even though she had so many close calls, it was still a shock to me when she finally went on July 30 2025.  I’m glad she made it to 101.  I really wanted that to happen because it is such a huge milestone.  They make birthday cards for 100, but not 101.  She defied all the odds.

She was always special, in life and in death.  Always full of surprises, right to the very end.  She had the spirit of a fighter and a well of feistiness that most of us will never find.

I miss our phone calls, and I miss seeking her advice.  I used to say that Grandma was the only one in the family who understood me.  Now that’s gone.  My confidant is gone.  The one person who always knew what I was going through.  The memory remains, and I will always be grateful for my special grandmother that lived to 101 years old.  Goodbye Grandma.  They always say this when someone is gone, but there truly will never be another one like Dolly Winter.