RECORD STORE TALES #1227: Steele Away the Night

The roots of anxiety run deep.  Some things from childhood, I can remember vividly.  I have strong memories of some of the unhappy moments, frozen in time.  When I say “unhappy”, it’s important to stress that these stories might not seem like a big deal to you, but they obviously impacted me in ways that still have repercussions today.

I can pinpoint the year to 1980.  It might have been March break.  Lego was a favourite hobby.  Lego Technic, or what we called “Technical Lego”, was hot and new.  I had a couple sets, including the 1978 go-cart (set 854), a 1979 bulldozer (set 856) and a really cool motor (1979 – set 8858) that were challenging and interesting to a kid (and now adults too).  The holy grail was the 853 car chassis, which came with a similar motor, rack-and-pinion steering, adjustable seats, and the biggest tires that Lego made.  It was completely customizable and a challenge to assemble with little kid hands.  I never had one.  I did get to play with one, once.  This is that story.  But it’s not going to go how you think.

My mom begins the tale.  When you’re a kid, sometimes your “friends” are just your parents’ friends’ kids.  My mom tells me that one of these friends of theirs thought it would be a great idea for me to have a sleepover with her kid.  Mark Steele was his name.  I didn’t know him.  I had probably met him at one of those random things that parents did together sometimes, but I didn’t know him at all.  I was invited to do a sleepover, and I think is was for two nights.  My mom tells me that one of the other kids in the parent-circle went over for sleepovers and had a great time.

I have strong memories about the rest.

Adults always thought I was “shy”.  I guess that is true, but the truth is even back then, I had severe anxiety.  I did not feel comfortable around people I did not know.  I felt very comfortable around close family and friends, but very few people outside that circle.  My dad had this one childhood friend who moved out west and became a scientist.  I took a real shine to him.  Very few others were that fortunate with me.  I did not know these people and I was being sent away for two nights.  Rather than be a fun time that I was looking forward to, it was something that I had to make it through, so that I could go back to my own home and bed.

I was treated with nothing but hospitality, but I simply was never the sleepover type.  I had it pretty good at home.  I had all the Star Wars toys that a kid could want.  I had a sister that I adored, to play with every day.  I had parents that made food that I liked and let us watch whatever we wanted on TV.  I had my best friend Bob, only ever two doors down.  Why would I want to go anywhere else?

Mark was a very friendly and welcoming kid.  His bedroom had a giant poster of a hockey player on the closet door – it was cut in half in such a way that you could opens the doors.  It might have been Wayne Gretzky, but that would not have helped me at all.  I knew nothing about hockey, and had no interest in it.  I liked Star Wars.  Even though every effort was made to make me feel at home, I felt so homesick.

For lunch, Kraft dinner was served.  I have always been a picky eater, and very much so a Kraft dinner purist.  I loved Kraft Dinner.   Nobody made better Kraft Dinner than my mom.  I do today it the way she did it back then.  Lots of milks, extra runny sauce.  No hot sauce, no pepper, just the KD out of the box with nothing added.  Well, wouldn’t you know it.  I was being served Kraft Dinner…with hot dogs mixed in.  I don’t know what I said, but I know I was vocal in my dislike of the concept of Kraft Dinner with hot dogs.  I tried to eat it, and it was probably more psychological than not, but I did not like it.  I still don’t.

For entertainment, we all went out to see the film The Black Stallion.  I remember them trying to pump me up over this movie.  “You’re going to love it!”  I have never cared about horses, and I need not tell you, I did not enjoy The Black Stallion.  My mom loves the film, but I distinctly remember thinking, “This isn’t a kid’s movie, this is a grown-up movie that kids can watch with their parents.”  I liked Star Wars!  I had no idea who Mickey Rooney was, or why he was a big deal.  I didn’t understand the movie.  The horse didn’t seem particularly likeable and I had no idea why the kid in the movie wanted to ride the horse.  Like, who cares?  That was my attitude as a nine year old.

Sleeping was difficult for me in a strange bed in another kid’s room.  As a person with music deep in his soul, and in an age before personal tape players, I liked to hum myself to sleep.  Usually a John Williams soundtrack piece.  I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t alone.  I really had to…not be myself…if I slept over at someone else’s house.

The one thing I do remember, and is definitely a happy memory, is that Mark owned the 853 car chassis.  I got to play with it.  I got to handle it and experience it for myself.  I remember thinking that, visually, it wasn’t very striking.  It was just a red bare-bones chassis. Yes it was everything you stared it in the little Lego catalogue photos, except up close in real life.  At the time, the 853 car chassis was the most desired of all the technical Lego sets.  It had the motor with four pistons that moved as you pushed it over the carpet.  It had loads of big technical pieces, a ton of gears, and was massive in hand.

As hard as they tried, the only thing I really remember enjoying that weekend was the Lego.  The lesson here is that Lego is just plain good for your mental health.