Author: mikeladano

Metal, hard rock, rock and roll! Record Store Tales & Reviews! Grab A Stack of Rock and more. Poking the bear since 2010.

Part 111: The Girl In the Sam Roberts Shirt

RECORD STORE TALES PART 111:  The Girl In the Sam Roberts Shirt

Saturday, Sept. 17, 2005.  I had a rare Saturday off, and I wasn’t wasting it.

I was single, and interested in a couple different girls.  First there was Mel.  She was a nice but just always in a hurry.  She drove like a maniac and for her it was all rush-rush-rush.  We had a “date” that Saturday morning.  We were heading to St. Jacobs to go to the market.

Well, this wasn’t the kind of market excursion I was used to.  She was rushing from vendor to vendor, getting what she needed, with no time to look around!  I had a couple things I wanted to buy and she paced and tapped her toes waiting as I looked.  It wasn’t comfortable.  I ended up buying some T-shirts (Bob Marley and Slash) and a Lego set.  The Lego set, the Ultimate Collector’s Series Y-Wing fighter, was $200.  She wanted to pay for it.  That creeped me out a bit, considering I barely knew this girl.  I said no.  And that was basically it.  She drove me home, and that was all.  No sparks, just the creeps.

Before I went on my date with Mel, I was up all night talking to Jen.  Jen was from Brampton.  She was a hockey loving Christian who also liked Johnny Cash and Nirvana.  I didn’t even sleep that night, we were on the phone until daylight.  I said to Jen, “I have this date with this Mel girl in a few hours.  But I don’t even really want to go.”  In a way I was relieved that the “date” didn’t go well.  I wasn’t into it, and even though she was a hockey-loving Christian, and I hadn’t been to church in almost 20 years, I had a much better connection with Jen.

I spent Saturday putting together my Lego set.  It actually took me all week to finish.  It was massive.

Sunday the 18th I had to work.  I grew to hate working Sundays.  I don’t remember anything about that work day at all — maybe I’ve blocked it out?  Jen recalls a little bit.  She remembers me telling her that I was having a shitty day at the store.  Sundays were usually pretty busy right from the get-go, and Sundays we were usually inundated with jerk knobs and dipsticks.  It wasn’t a great part of town to work in.  We attracted a high ratio of customers that did not carry any kind of currency, but needed to kill time listening to music at a CD store.

“Hey!” she said.  “Are you doing anything tonight?”

“Well, nothing I can’t cancel,” I said.  “Why?”

“Do you want to come down to Brampton and hang out?”

Sure!  I was down for that.  She gave me the directions, and I hopped in my green Dodge Neon and hit the highway.

I pulled into the driveway, and a blonde girl wearing a Sam Roberts T-shirt, with the bluest eyes I’d ever seen was waiting for me.  She smiled a smile that lit up the whole day.  I was wearing the Marley shirt that I bought the day before.  The night flew by.  We went to a park and played on the swings.  We went to Sonny’s, and had some of their legendary poutine, and probably the best cheeseburger I’ve ever had in my life.  The night flew by.

I had to work Monday morning, as usual.  I left Brampton around 9 so I could get home and get to bed at a decent hour.  As I drove down Dixie Road towards Highway 401, I said to myself, “That girl is special.  Whatever you do, you have to make sure she doesn’t get hurt.  She’s different than the others you’ve met.”

And she was.  And 3 years later, Jen became Mrs. LeBrain.

GUEST REVIEW: Helix -“All I Want For Christmas is the Leafs to Win the Cup” by Mrs. LeBrain

While I’m qualified to talk about Helix, I’m not qualified to talk about what this single means to a Toronto Maple Leafs fan.  For that reason, I’m handing this one over to Mrs. LeBrain!

And don’t miss my exclusive interview with Brian Vollmer! Click here!

HELIX – “All I Want For Christmas is the Leafs to Win the Cup” (2012 Helix Records 7″ single)

Helix has their Heavy Mental Christmas – This is the carol I will sing to my great-grandchildren…

All I want for Christmas… Is the Leafs to win the CUP.  That is a present worth fighting for.

From my earliest memories I have been “torontomaplegirl”.  This song sings to everything that I am.  The Toronto Maple Leafs have one of the longest droughts in professional sports, but their fans, oh their fans will be loyal until the end of time.

We load up in cars and airplanes to watch them play in other cities because it is impossible to get decent seats at their Bay Street home.  We decorate our homes with a Maple theme and select our cars and clothes in that delicious royal blue that sets us apart.  (I convinced LeBrain that we wanted a blue car that I have since named Dougie Carmour.)

“Go LEAFS Go” are the first words we teach our children, and Brian Vollmer has them wonderfully placed throughout the song’s chorus.  He makes a quick reference to the hundred year old rivalry with the Montreal Canadiens in a cute way – advising that a Habs jersey would be an unpleasant gift during the Christmas season.   He also references 1967:  the last year that the Stanley Cup was in the place it belongs.  (I have kissed the Stanley Cup on 1967 during a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame in 1994, hoping it would bring the glory back to Toronto – we made it to game 7 of the western conference finals that year.)

The song is available in two places.  It can be found on the new Helix Best Of CD covering hits from 1983 – 2012.  Available for the serious collector is a vinyl single, autographed by Brian Vollmer in green vinyl.  It has a heavy mental “Jingle Bells” on the other side.  In future releases, the vinyl will be released in different colours.  I am patiently awaiting the Maple Leaf blue coloured single to make it into the LeBrain family home.  [The vinyl release also comes with a download code in case you can’t play vinyl — nice touch. – LeBrain]

Now we just have to get working on my Thanksgiving gift wish of firing Gary Bettman so we can get this lockout bullshit taken care of.

4/5 stars

Below:  Helix sells the single, album and T-shirt as a bundle

Way to leave the closet door open behind you while taking a photo of yourself, LeIdiot!

Part 110: FAQ

For those of you just joining us, I felt now was as good a time as any to answer some FAQ’s about working in a record store in general, and my experience specifically!

RECORD STORE TALES PART 110: FAQ

FAQ 1:  So, it’s just like Empire Records, right?

NO!  Not even close.  We never had a couch.  I hate that movie.

FAQ 2:  I thought working in a record store was supposed to be fun?  Why is your blog so bitchy?

This is something I am trying to be especially conscious of – a good balance.  Yes, working in a record store is fun.  The treasures that float your way, the characters you run into, and the situations can be quite funny/cool/exciting.  But my experience was both sides of the coin.  Being a manager, reporting to a corporate structure, during the beginning of the downloading era had plenty of sucky moments too.  It is easy to look back with the benefit of hindsight and say, “We did this wrong, we missed the boat here, and we messed this up.”   My bottom line has always been to make you laugh and hopefully that happens from time to time!

FAQ 3:  So you got a discount, right?

Yes!  New employees didn’t get one until they were done probation, due to past abuses.  Once it kicked in, it was pretty sweet.  The only thing that we couldn’t get discounts on were rarities.  Anything rare, like let’s say the first Tea Party CD, we were not allowed discounts on.  But that discount allowed my collection to grow 20-fold!

         

FAQ 4:  How do I get a job in a music store?

In my experience, there are two ways.  One is to know somebody that works there to get you in. Keep shopping there and chatting up the staff until they know you.  Another way is to apply like any other job, and have a wealth of musical knowledge to back you up.  I don’t know how important musical knowledge is anymore, with Google able to answer most questions, but that’s how it was for us.

FAQ 5:  What’s the rarest thing you ever saw come in?  

Well, that depends.  Rarity is relative.  What was rare then can be common now.  But one thing for sure was that rare Tea Party album.  I also saw a Japanese import Deep Purple box set.

FAQ 6:  So, it’s just like Empire Records, right?

GAHHHH!

REVIEW: Helix: Best Of 1983-2012 (2012)

Don’t miss my exclusive interview with Brian Vollmer! Click here!

BEST OF HELIX FRONT

HELIX: Best Of 1983-2012 (Anthology, 2012 Helix Records)

Just in time for the hockey season — or not? — here comes Helix with a brand new single called “All I Want For Christmas Is the Leafs to Win the Cup”.   It’s on 7″ vinyl, but in case you can’t play vinyl, you can still get that track on their brand new anthology as a bonus track.  I’m going to let Mrs. LeBrain review the single.  Let’s talk about the anthology.

SAM_0445

The packaging is a bit skimpy, but Brian Vollmer autographs every copy that you order from his site, so that makes up for the lack of a booklet, in my opinion.  I’ve always been about owning a physical product, and if a CD doesn’t have a booklet to flip through, an autograph helps make up for that.

A lot of people (if you’re reading this, say hello!) don’t care about owning a physical product; to them it’s all about the music.  So let’s talk about the music.

Helix have lots of hits compilations out there available, but nothing that covers this range of material.  I’m really fond of the albums that Helix has made in more recent years.  Vagabond Bones and The Power of Rock and Roll are both up there among the band’s best work, and one of my favourite Helix albums ever is B-Sides.  I’d recommend those albums to anyone who enjoys rock and roll in the gritty, honest and catchy style that Helix specialize in.  So it’s nice to have material from those three albums in one place.

There are familiar hits here as well, including “Running Wild in the 21st Century”, the ballad “Good To the Last Drop”, and the recent remake of “Heavy Metal Love” from the Power Of Rock and Roll album.  You’ll also notice other big ones:  “Wild In the Streets”, “Deep Cuts the Knife”, and “Rock You”.  These are re-recordings, I assume because Capitol/EMI owns the originals.  I think an original version is always superior to a re-recording.  But you can understand the reason for it.  A brand new song written by the duo of Brian Vollmer and Sean Kelly called “Axe To Grind” rounds out the album.

Personal favourites:  The heavy and grooving “Danger Zone”, from B-Sides.  The undeniably catchy “Get Up!” (seriously, you won’t get this song out of your head).  “You Got the Love That I Like”, another modern and heavy one from B-Sides.  The slick and fast “Animal Inside”, from Vagabond Bones.

Omissions:  I would have loved an acoustic track from Helix’ excellent Smash Hits…Unplugged CD.

Unlike a lot of hits packages released this time of year, Best Of 1983-2012 is a really good and justified compilation.  Helix has had a hell of a lot of good music in recent years.  Even for fans like myself who have the albums already, hearing a good compilation like this really highlights some recent triumphs.

4/5 stars

Part 109: The Summer From Hell!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 109:  The Summer From Hell

Summer, 2004.

I had one really, really awful summer at the store.  My full-time backup had quit, and head office made the decision not to hire a replacement until the Christmas gear-up season.  Instead, they decided to spread out the part-timers to cover the hours.  They were always eager for hours, but not necessarily weekend hours!

I was required to work two Saturdays a month anyway.  That summer, I had to pull a lot more than that.  Saturdays, Sundays, the odd 12 hour shifts…I didn’t get to the cottage very much that summer.  Allegedly, one head office staffer was overheard saying to another, “It’s going to be funny watching Mike try to work all summer without a full-timer.”  Good to know they had my back.

I was furious.  But I was also defeated.

I had one weekend booked off in July.  I couldn’t miss that weekend.  My grandma’s 80th birthday party was that weekend.  There was no way in hell that I was going to miss my grandma’s 80th birthday party.  It was a 2 hour drive away, in Kincardine Ontario.  I only have one grandma (88 this year!), but wouldn’t you know it?  Nothing ever went smooth for me….

I had a date the previous night (Friday), with this girl who was originally from Thunder Bay.  We went out and we had a nice meal followed by a night of drinks.  I woke up slightly hungover, but eager to hit the lake, and say hi to grandma.  Then, my phone rang.  Not a good sign.

My least reliable employee, Wiseman, was calling in sick.  The truth was more likely that he was calling in wasted.  Somebody had to get the hell over there and cover him.  And that someone was me.

I pulled in, unshowered, unshaven, and pissed off.  I had never been so mad at Wiseman in my life.  It was becoming a far, far too regular occurrence that he was always “sick”, and someone had to cover for him.  You can’t expect every part time employee to give up their Saturday plans and work on no notice, but a manager had to.

To her credit, there was one head office person on duty that weekend, and she came in to take over.  I will always be grateful to that person for covering me on my grandma’s 80th birthday weekend.  If memory serves, my great aunt Marie, her sister, made it that weekend too.  I think that was the last time I ever saw her, she passed away not too long after.

My relationship with head office people was rocky to say the least, especially after that “It’s going to be funny watching Mike try to work all summer…” crack.  But she did cover me when I needed it.  I won’t forget that, and I’ll always be grateful.

The rest of the summer was what it was, weekend after weekend of working, the same grind and drudgery.  The musical light in the tunnel that summer was the release of Marillion’s double Marbles CD.  It is my favourite Hogarth-era Marillion to this day, and when I received it that summer, it got me through.  We didn’t carry it in stock in our store, but it was in my car, and on my home player, all summer.  It brightened the mood, it kept me going, waking me up in the morning and getting me out the door.  The Summer of Hell’s bright spot was Marillion, and my grandma.

I would like to dedicate this installment of the Record Store Tales to that one head office person who stepped up and covered for me that day.  We had many knock-down-drag-out arguments over the years, and I’m sure that her side of many events differ from mine.  Regardless, if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have been present for my grandma’s 80th, and for that I owe her a debt of gratitude.

Thank you.  It meant a lot to me.

Below:  the soundtrack to that summer

REVIEW: Rush – Icon (2010)

Icon.jpg

RUSH – Icon (2010 Universal)

No “Tom Sawyer”? No “Subdivisions”? No “2112”? This baffling compilation had zero involvement from the band, and should probably be avoided. There are plenty other Rush comps — official Rush comps, longer and with better variety of tracks — to satiatate your need for the holy trinity.

I do give whatever exec put the track list together credit for including ancient classics like “The Necromancer” and “Circumstances”…but this set of obscure album tracks mixed with singles makes little sense.  It will only disappoint those looking for a good one CD Rush collection with all the songs they know.  And real Rush fans don’t need to buy discs like this.

0.5/5 stars.

  1. Working Man
  2. Fly by Night
  3. The Necromancer
  4. The Twilight Zone
  5. Closer to the Heart
  6. Circumstances
  7. Freewill
  8. Limelight
  9. The Analog Kid
  10. Red Sector A
  11. Marathon
  12. Force Ten

REVIEW: Oasis – Wibbling Rivalry (1995 CD single)

OASIS – Wibbling Rivalry (single/bootleg, 1995)

It all started with an interview with Q magazine.  The spark was only the slightly mischievous question, “How do you feel about the fact that, already, Oasis have attracted a reputation for being rock’n’roll animals?”

What followed was, possibly, the greatest train wreck interview in all history, which luckily was recorded and released by a label called “Fierce Panda” under the name Oas*s.

I really have nothing else to say.  I’ll let Noel and Liam say it all.  Just buy it.  You need this.  Some highlights:

Liam: No…No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
Noel: Fuck off! Bullshit! Bullshit!

Or how about this classic:

Liam: You get into situations…
Noel: No…you think it’s rock’n’roll to get thrown off a ferry, and it’s not.
Liam: I don’t think it’s rock’n’ roll.
Noel: You fucking…that was your quote, you prick! That was your quote!
Liam: No it weren’t! No it weren’t! No it weren’t!

My favourite:

Noel: Do you know John Lennon?
Liam: Do you know him?
Noel: I don’t, but do you?
Liam: Yeah.
Noel: Well, you must be pretty old. How old are you? 21?
Liam: No. About a fucking thousand-and-five fuckin’ one.

5/5 fucking stars

Please note:  “a fucking thousand-and-five fuckin’ one” is not an actual number.

Part 108: Building the Store, Part 2

RECORD STORE TALES PART 108: Building the Store, Part 2

Last time, Statham posted something about a dream he had, of us putting together our own record store. I wish I could have had the experience of opening a store without doing work!  The reality of it varied.  On the couple of times I helped set up a store, it was hardly glamorous.

The first time was when we opened up the first store that I managed.  It was the biggest one so far, lots of stock, all crap. Junk. Shite.  Basically what we did was, maybe starting six months in advance,  just buy lots and lots and lots of stock.  Before long we had, I dunno, maybe 5000 discs, all garbage.  Dozens of Jann Arden, Spin Doctors, Michael Bolton…I had so much Michael Bolton that he took up three fucking rows!  I even had rare Michael Bolton.  Nobody had rare Michael Bolton!  Nobody wanted rare Michael Bolton!  Then you’d go to the Metallica section, nothing.  Kiss, a couple copies of Kiss My Ass.  And we had soooo much country.  We had buckets of country.  And rap artists that you nor I have ever heard of. 

Waltz back over to the rock section and browse the classics.  Did we have any Floyd?  Nothing.  Led Zeppelin?  Just the tribute album, Encomium.  Meat Loaf?  Bat 2, but not Bat.  We had a couple of Rush discs, like Counterparts, but nothing from the 70’s.  No Maiden.  No Miles.  No Dylan.  No Hendrix.

We had no standardized pricing scheme back then.  So, if I was pricing Eric Clapton’s Unplugged at $9.99, the guy next to me might have priced it at $11.99 because maybe he liked it more.  It was very subjective.  Sometimes you knew what a CD was worth brand new and based it on that, sometimes it was so common that it didn’t matter, and sometimes nobody had a fucking clue.  We’d try to fix the pricing it as we went, but it was slow.  After we opened, a customer would come up with three copies of the same album.  “This one is $8.99, this one $9.99, and this one $11.99.  Is that because one is more scratched?”  Logical question!  But no, we just cocked up.

It took weeks to manually input and price all those discs.  Shelving them took a couple more days. Making the header cards, setting things up, all told we were at it for maybe a month.  Then the big day came and we did our opening.  We were only half-equipped:  there was no second computer yet, and only half of our CD players for listening station had been bought.  Signs were still arriving to be put up.

I’ll never forget our sign that showed up that said, “WE PAY CSAH FOR YOUR USED CDS!” 

Regardless of how crappy the stock was, it sold!  I couldn’t believe it!  There were only a few decent albums and I figured once they were gone, that was it.  That wasn’t the case at all.  People kept buying the old rap and country discs.  Tanya Tucker?  Check!  We had lots!  And people were buying it!

Then, used stuff started coming in at a rapid pace.  Crazy stuff too.  I remember this one huge Tangerine Dream box set coming in, on the Thursday of the first week.

After we opened and good stuff started coming in by the box full, all the hard work seemed like it was paying off.  But the setting up was long and tedious, and I couldn’t stand Todd, who was also on setup duty.  But who gives a crap?  I spent weeks doing nothing but data entry while listening to music (our own music, which we brought in – of course).  I rocked a lot of Deep Purple those weeks.  It was awesome.

I remember that I had just found two Purple albums that I wanted:  Concerto For Group and Orchestra, and King Biscuit Flower Hour.  I also rocked Purpendicular, which had just come out, as much as I could.   Todd didn’t understand the music at all.  All he was interested in listening to was Floyd, nothing else.  He played Bush once or twice, but otherwise it was all Floyd.  He really, really liked P.U.L.S.E.  And he just murdered Floyd for me, for a long time.

When I listen to albums like Concerto and Purpendicular, it brings me right back to doing data entry in that store.  Not a bad soundtrack to work to.

Part 107: GUEST SHOT! – Statham: “Building the Store”

RECORD STORE TALES PART 107: Building the Store

Hey folks, Statham here. You’re looking good. Now, sit down and let me tell you a story, it’s a good one.

Last night, I had a dream. One I think you need to hear about, in the context of Mike’s blog. You see, I dreamt that Mike and I opened a record store together. It seems, for the convenience of making things happen, that I had won the lottery again. (I say again because, c’mon, it’s like having won the lottery just being fortunate enough to be me every day of the week). Anyway. The oodles of money secured the financial end of things, thus freeing us up to be creative in the endeavour.

There were a lot of naysayers. Oh boohoo, physical media is dying (if not dead), this would have been great 15 years ago, blah blah blah. Yeah well, alot people would shoot down anything anyone else wanted to do because they are lazy, needy, selfish and generally dumb. If it had been them in our shoes, they’d want us to be gushing with praise for their initiative, and they’d want us to be giving them doggie treats for being so good and clever. Anyway, we didn’t listen to any of these peoples’ negativity and they soon went away. Relief!

To his credit, Mike was onboard right away. Somehow he was still working his current job too, but also able to be at the shop all the time. Now, we all know Mike is amazing, but he really was breaking the laws of physics, here. Ah, dream-time. It makes no sense, but is the more awesome for it.

So. Being of means, we found that the organization, construction and founding of the shop was just a matter of planning and patience, but it went together very quickly. I have no idea what town we were in when all this was happening, but it hardly matters. Somehow, when the contractors were done, not only was the shop beautiful, bright and spacious, but all the shelves were jammed full of well-organized and thoughtfully chosen CDs, DVDs and games, too. I tell you, I’d really recommend those contractors to you. They were very thorough.

It wasn’t long before our doors were open, and business really started to take off. With Mike’s knowledge and my enthusiasm, it turned out to be a really worthwhile venture. People responded well to our humour, easy-going sales patter that wasn’t like sales-talk at all and, of course, our dashing good looks. It was a winner.

I don’t have a whole lot of specifics for you, just this sense I had that it was a good thing.  And that’s all I remember of that dream, in a nutshell.

ANALYSIS:

Well, clearly, all of Mike’s Record Store Tales have entered into my subconscious and activated the part of my brain that has always believed I’d like to work in a record store. Not the one Mike used to work for, from the sounds of it (even though at one point I did apply there), but still. I’ve spent enough time in record shops, so it seemed a natural enough thing to do.

And Freud would probably say this was somehow about my penis. Because everyone dreams about that, surely.

To be continued…


If you haven’t figured it out from past Statham stories, he’s Snake Eyes. I’m the Crimson Guard.

REVIEW: Motley Crue – Theater Of Pain (remastered, bonus tracks)
 
MOTLEY CRUE – Theater Of Pain (1985, 2003 Motley Records remastered edition)
Crue’s third was a mess, a smokey muddy mess of an album that served only to confuse and disappoint those who were enthralled with Shout at the Devil. The Crue, now wearing ridiculous striped (stryped?) jester suits had dropped the chromium metallic sheen of Shout, and replaced it with nothing but a notable lack of direction.
Theatre of Pain was one of the most anticipated albums of the ’85, and one of the most biggest disappointments. Yes, “Smokin’ In The Boys Room” is a fun jokey novelty, but it is also a novelty cover. “Home Sweet Home”, billed by the band as their “Dream On”, is not really. Broken down, it is a cliche-ridden proto-ballad, the type of thing that every L.A. band has done at least once. And usually, better.  I mean, think about it — you can name better ballads by Bon Jovi or Cinderalla, can’t you?  I can.
There is precious little metal on this album, the terrible “Use It or Lose It” being the only foot on the gas pedal, but itself also being nothing more than a grade C song worthy of most bands’ album outtakes. There is absolutely nothing on this album that would have made the cut on the great Shout at the Devil. Even a track like “Louder Than Hell”, one of the better songs, was demoed for Shout and dropped; the band obviously lowered their standards.
The mix is muddy, an alcoholidaze of robotic drumming and lifeless, uninspired vocals. You can hear the wasted band barely trying. Or, rather, trying as hard as they were capable given the chemicals. If a major band released this today as the followup to a beloved classic, it would be a career-ender. Not so with the Crue, as the 80’s were much kinder.
Bonus tracks on the remastered edition are laughable. Did we really need three versions of “Home Sweet Home”? The vaults must be a lonely place indeed. Tommy’s sleepy “drum piece” is worthy only of the skip button.No standout songs, terrible mix, and dull performances aside, the one guy who swims to the top is  Mick Mars, who plays several solos that rise above.
1.5/5 stars
1. City Boy Blues
2. Smokin’ in the Boys’ Room
3. Louder Than Hell
4. Keep Your Eye on the Money
5. Home Sweet Home
6. Tonight (We Need a Lover)
7. Use It or Lose It
8. Save Our Souls
9. Raise Your Hands to Rock
10. Fight for Your Rights
11. Home Sweet Home [Demo Version]
12. Smokin’ in the Boys’ Room [Alternate Guitar Solo-Rough Mix
13. City Boy Blues [Demo Version]
14. Home Sweet Home [Instrumental Rough Mix]
15. Keep Your Eye on the Money [Demo Version]
16. Tommy drum piece from Cherokee Studios
CD-ROM. Home Sweet Home [Video – Bonus Track]