Guest Post

GUEST CONCERT REVIEW: W.A.S.P. w/ Metallica and Armored Saint – January 19, 1985

A treat for you boys & girls today!  A guest shot, a vintage concert review, and a significant one at that.  Remember when Metallica was just an opening act for mediocre bands?  Meat does.  And he’s back to tell you the story.  Enjoy the first guest shot of 2013, by Meat!

TALLICA

W.A.S.P. w/ METALLICA and ARMORED SAINT – January 19, 1985

By Meat

I was lucky at a young age to have the opportunity to see some great concerts.  The first concert of my life was at The Center in the Square in Kitchener, Ontario.  It was The Monks (remember “Drugs in my Pocket”?)  and I went with my childhood friend, Scott Hunter, and his mother.  I also saw the almighty Black Sabbath play the Kitchener Memorial  Auditorium, three days before my 12th birthday, on the Mob Rules tour on November 19, 1981. I saw Triumph on the Allied Forces tour play the Center in the Square, with my father not long after that.  But really my early concert experiences were mostly, and most memorably, with the aforementioned Scott Hunter.   I believe it was his uncle who had connections with a concert promotion at the time called CPI.  He would leave free tickets at Will Call for us at Maple Leaf Gardens or wherever the show was.  We saw the last Kiss tour with makeup at the time (Creatures of the Night tour) on January 14, 1983 with The Headpins opening.  Also saw the first ever Kiss tour without makeup (Lick it Up tour) on March 15, 1984 with Accept as the opening act.  As well as Motley Crue on the Shout at the Devil tour on June 10, 1984, at what is now the Ricoh Coliseum, also with Accept as support.   Many of these shows are quite memorable and monumental, but none so much as the first time I saw Metallica live.

I remember the first time Scott and I heard Metallica.  We would have a sleepover at his place every Friday night specifically because Toronto radio station Q107 had their “Midnight Metal Hour” on that night.  We would have first heard Metallica (“Seek and Destroy”) either late 1982 or early 1983, before Kill ‘Em All was even released.  Obviously it was an instant shot of Metal Up Our Ass!   Kill ‘Em All was released on vinyl and cassette on July 25, 1983.   I specifically remember  (but not exactly when) walking into a record store downtown Kitchener called Records on Wheels and buying that album, Anthrax’s Fistful of Metal and Van Halen’s 1984 on vinyl,  all during the same visit.   I also remember buying Metallica’s second album, Ride the Lightning, the day it was released.  Thanks to the World Wide Web, I know now that date was July 27, 1984. Starting grade ten that September, I was pushing Metallica on anyone that would be open to it at my high school.   There were a very select few of us who were die-hards and would have Sony Walkmans stuck to our heads at every opportunity possible.  Now I cannot recall if we got free tickets for this particular show, but I do remember how pumped I was when I knew I was gonna see Metallica live.

The bill was as follows: Armored Saint (with Anthrax’s John Bush on vocals), Metallica and W.A.S.P.  Yes you read that right.  Metallica was opening up for W.A.S.P.  I do know that further along on the tour, Metallica and W.A.S.P. would trade headlining sets due to the obvious buzz around Metallica at the time.  Here is a picture of an actual ticket stub of this show.  Note the price ($15.00) and Armored Saint being spelled wrong on the ticket.

ticket 1

One thing I will add before I go on.  Of all the concerts and bands I have seen multiple times live, it is kinda strange I only saw Metallica live twice ever.  One of the reasons for this is quite obviously that after their album Load (otherwise known as Mighty Load of Shit), I never really had a great interest in seeing the band live again.  But it is worthwhile noting that I have seen Metallica live twice and BOTH TIMES they were opening for someone else.  (The second time being the strange bill of The Black Crowes / Warrant / Metallica / Aerosmith on June 29, 1990 at CNE Exhibition Stadium in Toronto) Again, note the ticket price for this.  This was before The Eagles ruined ticket prices for all acts with the ridiculous prices for their shows.   To quote “The Dude”  I hate the fuckin’ Eagles.

ticket 2

So there we were, January 19th 1985 standing in line in front of the late great Toronto concert venue named The Concert Hall. It was freezing cold out, and windy too.   So since this was a General Admission event, standing in line braving at least -15 Celsius weather, you can imagine how cold and bitchy people were.  I recall the rush of metalheads being ushered  quickly into the venue.  The second I got in there I went straight for the merch booth and bought a Ride the Lightning tour shirt for me and a high school friend named Joe DeLeo.  After that, like seemingly everybody, I had to take a wicked piss.  After doing that, I was horrified when I tried to zip my probably really tight jeans back up, and couldn’t because my hands were numb from the cold.  My embarrassed horror turned to laughter as I turned my head to see dozens of much older and much larger long-haired headbangers all having the same problem.  Only in Canada I guess eh?

Sometime later, Armored Saint took the stage.  I remember them being great and how loud it was in there.  They were received well and that venue was filling up. While enjoying their set my buddy Scott gets my attention and points to the much-shorter person beside me.  Immediately I recognized him as Russell Dwarf from the Toronto band Killer Dwarfs. Their name was very apropos considering this band consisted of nothing but short dudes with long hair.  I can only imagine how this band got together.  Wonder if an ad went out that said.  “Metal musicians needed.  Must not be over 5 foot 6 inches tall and have long hair”.  I loved that first album.  If you don’t know of them, here is their first single and video.

It was time for the Mighty Metallica.  They started out with the first track off Ride The Lightning, the classic riff-monster “Fight Fire With Fire”.   At this point I was probably about mid-way to the stage in a sea of metalheads.  This was before the days of the “moshpit”.  This was more of a Hair Swarm packed with long-haired sardines covered in denim and leather.   It would have been about half-way through the show that I wormed my way to the front of the stage.  This was no easy task as I am sure you can imagine, however being only 15 and much smaller than the masses (with the exception of the Killer Dwarfs of course), there I was literally feet from what would become the best-selling metal band of all-time.  This brings me to a memory I will cherish forever.  The seemingly monstrous Cliff Burton was right in front of me.  I reached out and had in my hand, the bottom leg of his ragged bell-bottom jeans.  He tried to kick me in the face, and thankfully missed.  Can’t blame him either for trying to kick my head off, and honestly it was the first thing I thought of  when said legend died in a bus accident a year and a half later in Sweden on September 27, 1986. R.I.P. Clifford Lee Burton.  Check out this YouTube audio clip I found of Metallica playing “Seek and Destroy” from this exact show.  Gotta love YouTube.

Check out this set list of the show the next night in Buffalo at some place called the Salty Dog Saloon. (I couldn’t find the Toronto set list online but I am sure it is identical)

  • “Fight Fire With Fire”
  • “Ride the Lightning”
  • “Phantom Lord”
  • “(Anethesia) Pulling Teeth”
  • “For Whom the Bell Tolls”
  • “No Remorse”
  • “The Call of Ktulu”
  • “Seek & Destroy”
  • “Whiplash”

Encores:

  • “Creeping Death”
  • Guitar solo
  • “Am I Evil?”
  • “Motorbreath”

Which brings me to winding down this novel of a concert review.  How could W.A.S.P. possibly follow Metallica?  Well, I do remember chants of “you suck”.  I remember that the front was nowhere near as packed as it was for Metallica.  Maybe Blackie thought he could follow them by drinking fake blood out of a skull (which he did).  Here is a quote from Mr. Blackie Lawless comparing separate tours with both Slayer and Metallica and musing about this particular tour.

Blackie: I’ll tell you what was worse – us and Metallica.  It was our first or second U.S. tour.  It was us, Metallica, and Armored Saint.  When they (Slayer) went out with us, they were still an up n’ coming band, didn’t have a lot of fans, so there was a pocket of division every night.  With Metallica, I kid you not, it was like an invisible line was drawn right down the middle of the room, and half was theirs and half was ours.  It didn’t matter what we were doing on stage.  It looked like two opposing armies.  Sometimes we just stopped what we were doing and watched. It was a war.

I realize that the merit of music is subjective and it is all in the Ear Of The Beholder.  But lets face it.  W.A.S.P. really does kinda suck.  Some good moments but really not much to speak of.  During their set myself and others that with us were just kind of mulling about as most others were really.  It was during this time that a guy we were with named Kevin B. (nicknamed Little Dude) said that he saw Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson leaving out a side door during their set.  Now to give some perspective on this, this person was a known bull-shitter.  None of us believed him.  True story:  Kevin years later had trans-gender surgery and now is known as Treva. But anyways, we shrugged this off as yet another lie from Little Dude.  It was months later reading a Blackie Lawless interview in Circus magazine that I read this quote.  “Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson were actually at one of our shows in Toronto last year…. But they were not there to see us.”    A classic example of the Little Dude who cried wolf.

Meat

 

REVIEW/GUEST SHOT: Iron Maiden – A Matter of Life and Death (by Meat)

Photo0637This one arrived too late to slide into the schedule when I posted my own review of A Matter of Life and Death.  Better late than never!  Here’s the infamous Meat with his take on the album.  A more seasoned take, perhaps.  Enjoy!

That’s the Meat Man on the left, in case you didn’t know.

He’s a pretty big Iron Maiden fan…

SAM_1665

IRON MAIDEN – A Matter of Life and Death (2006)

The Reincarnation of Iron Maiden

To semi-quote a good friend of mine,  “I have seen Iron Maiden live…I have seen Iron Maiden live…a lot”

  • November 30, 1984 –Maple Leaf Gardens- World Slavery Tour (Twisted Sister opening)
  • July 20, 1999 – Massey Hall – Ed Hunter Tour
  • May 5, 2003 – Molson Amphitheater –  Give Em’ ‘Ed Til I’m Dead Tour (Motorhead and Dio opening)
  • August 3, 2005 – Air Canada Center – Eddie Rips Up the World Tour
  • October 16, 2006 – Air Canada Center – A Matter of Life and Death Tour
  • March 16, 2008 – Air Canada Center – Somewhere Back in Time World Tour
  • July 13, 2012 – Molson Amphitheater – Maiden England World Tour

I was 15 when I first saw Iron Maiden live.  I remember standing outside Sam the Record Man downtown Kitchener to get the tickets. Took one of those party busses up to Toronto for the show. When I saw Maiden this last July, it was hard to believe that the first time I saw them was 28 years earlier.  While there are specific memories from each and every one of those shows, the aforementioned A Matter of Life and Death Tour holds a special place in my concert-loving heart.

Having seen Maiden four times previous, I was obviously excited for another great show, but was also expecting another “greatest hits” tour with a dabble of new material.  What I and the other 15,799 concertgoers got was something else. I have seen a shit load of concerts.  But never have I seen a band come on stage and literally play their new album to a sold out crowd… from track 1 to the end.  I didn’t really even know the album that well going into the show.   But it was one of my favorite concert experiences ever.  I can imagine that rehearsals for this tour were quite extensive.  It’s one thing for them to get together and polish up “The Prisoner” or “Clairvoyant”. It’s another thing to rehearse all your new material and get it  ready for touring.  And this album especially…for these reasons…

  • The shortest track on the album is 5:08  (“The Pilgrim”)
  • This may be the band’s most progressive album, song-structure wise.

With all due respect to Dance of Death and Brave New World, I believe Iron Maiden had not released something this relevant since 1988’s Seventh Son of a Seventh Son. A Matter of Life and Death sees Maiden finding a seamless way to connect hooks within unpredictable progressive grooves. This band has always been linked with Thin Lizzy in several ways, but never more than this album.  There are moments where you start to actually appreciate Thin Lizzy more by listening to it, which I suspect may have been a conscious or sub-conscious goal in the creation of this album.

There is not a weak track on this album. There are several A++ songs. The opening track, “Different World” is as such and is and was a great song to start off a show.  “For the Greater Good of God”, the longest track on the album, sees Maiden showing heavy chops while somehow staying bluesy. “The Longest Day” might be the most progressive Iron Maiden track of all time. Also my favorite track on the album, “Brighter Than a Thousand Suns”, hypnotically kicks  ass with melody. Hey, that pretty much defines the band itself doesn’t it?

A Matter of Life and Death is indeed “Brighter Than a Thousand Suns”; one of the most important albums in the Maiden canon.

5/5 stars

Meat.

 

REVIEW/GUEST SHOT: Aerosmith – Music From Another Dimension! (2012 deluxe edition)

It’s always great to have a contrasting point of view when it comes to a new release.  So, my buddy Tommy Morais, one of the top-rated reviewers on the Canadian Amazon site, is back to give us his two cents.  Tommy got the standard edition of the new ‘Smith, while I got the deluxe.  Neither of us had read the others’ review when we did this.

I’ll go first.  Here’s my take on the deluxe:

SAM_1712

AEROSMITH – Music From Another Dimension! (Deluxe Edition)

When an album is a decade or so in the making (hello, Axl!), it is only certain to create one thing:  expectation.  And it’s difficult to approach the new Aero-platter without expectation, seeing as the pre-release hype was absolutely gonzo.  “Sounds like our old stuff!  Sounds like Rocks!”  Etc. etc. etc.

The truth of the matter is, on Music From Another Dimension! there are elements that sound like classic Aerosmith.  Mostly, it’s in Joe Perry’s riffs.  Otherwise, this album is firmly in Get A Grip territory, minus Bruce Fairbairn’s trademark flourish.

The opening track, the dumb-titled “Luv XXX” contains one of those vintage 70’s sounding Joe Perry riffs, as does the next song “Oh Yeah”.  Both are really decent songs, with “Oh Yeah” getting points for cool female backing vocals.  Perhaps if “Oh Yeah” had been on Pump rather than this album, it would have been a hit single.

“Beautiful” is the first song that I strongly dislike.  Not only does it have a dull chorus, but Tyler thought it would be a good idea to spend the verses rapping.  Not exactly a return to Rocks, is it Steven?  There is seldom anything as embarrassing as a rock band attempting genre-hopping into rap, unless that’s already your modus operandi, like Rage Against the Machine for example.  Rush pulled it off once (“Roll the Bones”) but Aerosmith come off as desperate.

The first ballad, “Tell Me”, is up next.  An acoustic ballad along the lines of a song like “What It Takes”, this is an acceptable song, but it lacks a decent chorus.  Nothing outstanding.  I enjoy Tom Hamilton’s rolling bassline underneath.

Then comes “Out Go the Lights”, which captures the Aerofunk of old.  It has some funky harmonica and the return of the girls on backing vocals.  Joey Kramer’s unmistakable drums sound absolutely massive.  I think this one must be one of the oldest tunes on the album.  It shares one section with “My Girl” from Pump, indicating a probable genesis back in 1989.  It also shares a melody with the next song, the overrated single “Legendary Child”.  “Legendary Child” is overproduced with too many layers of vocals, but Tom’s bass just kicks you in the nuts.  It’s strange to hear one melody used more than once on an album, but that is perhaps because of the patchwork nature of the recording, and the fact that Aerosmith dug back into the archives for unfinished songs.

Let’s just skip “What Could Have Been Love”, which is basically the same as any Aero-ballad since Get A Grip.  Instead, go straight to “Street Jesus”, an monolithic slab of riffery.  This one could have been on Rocks or Toys.  The whiplash-inducing tempo will leave you out of breath!

But why, oh why Aerosmith, did you bookend that awesome song with another typical Aero-ballad?  And this one a duet with Carrie Underwood?  So contrived.  I really can’t see Brad Whitford, Joey Kramer and Tom Hamilton (who co-wrote the song) sitting around at home going, “You know, we really need to get a country singer on our album.”  Nothing against Carrie Underwood, I would have jumped at the chance to record with Aerosmith too.

“Lover Alot” is another single, and even though it’s uptempo, it suffers from lack of melody and really dumb repetitive lyrics.  Tyler’s normally a very clever lyricist.  This is just below him.

Ah don’t you know that she loves you a lot
Why don’t you know, don’t you know what you got
I even know that she loves you a lot
Why don’t you know that she loves you a lot
Ah don’t you know that she loves you a lot
Why don’t you know, don’t you know what you got
I even know that she loves you a lot
Why don’t you know, don’t you know, don’t you?

Seriously.

“We All Fall Down” is the fourth ballad, but a decent one.  I can hear some serious emotion coming out of this one.  Like “Amazing” from Get A Grip, this one has something special to it that speaks to me, be it the melancholy melody or the lyrics, I don’t know.

Joe Perry’s first lead vocal of the album, “Freedom Fighter”, is a surprisingly strong tune.  I really like this one.  Granted, it has the vibe of something that could have been on Joe’s last solo album, but that’s not a bad thing.  It’s a great song even if Joe ain’t the greatest of singers.

“Closer” isn’t really a ballad, more of a blues, featuring some smokin’ Joe guitar.  It’s good to have some Aero-blues on a well balanced album, although I think the melody leaves a bit to be desired.  This goes straight into the organ intro of “Something”, which is another bluesy number, and Joe’s second lead vocal.  Better than “Closer”, this one really hits the spot.

“Another Last Goodbye” is the fifth ballad.  It’s a basic Steve piano ballad, and I don’t mind this one either.  It sounds sincere and has a live vibe.   This is what a song like “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” should have been.

That ends the album proper, but the deluxe edition has a cool bonus disc.  A really cool bonus disc, well worth buying.

“Up on the Mountain” is a great little number featuring Tom on lead vocals with Steven backing him. Then Joe gets a third lead vocal on the incredible “Oasis in the Night”.  Lots of lap steel here.  This sounds like something that Joe might play on his front porch on a hot summer night.  Just a cool tune.  Finally, “Sunny Side of Love” is a melodic Aerosmith tune that probably should have been on the album proper, replacing some of the weaker songs.

Aside from Carrie Underwood, there are a slew of guest appearances that you can’t even hear — Johnny Depp, Julian Lennon, and so on.  Who cares?  Nobody buys an Aerosmith album because Johnny Depp is on it.

There’s a DVD too with live stuff on it.  Typical live Aerosmith, it’s nice to have something recent, this is just an added bonus.  Nothing really “must-have” here.

I think Music From Another Dimension!‘s biggest weakness is its length.  15 songs (+3) could easily have been trimmed to 10 (or 13).  When you trim the fat though, it’s a solid…

4/5 stars

And now, without further delay, here’s Tommy!

Aerosmith_-_MFAD

AEROSMITH – Music From Another Dimension! (standard edition)

It’s been eleven years since the last Aerosmith studio album, 2001’s Just Push Play (and there’s also been the 2004 covers album Honkin’ On Bobo) which was really a product of its time with the band collaborating with producers that gave them a clean modern pop sound. This time around they brought back producer Jack Douglas who worked on some of the band’s best albums in the 1970’s. With the inner problems in the band and the near breakup, Steven Tyler doing American Idol fans were beginning to wonder if there was any recording going. It took a long time but Aerosmith’s 15th studio album, Music From Another Dimension is here. Initially the band said it would be a throwback to Toys in the Attics (1975) and Rocks (1976) and there are glimpses of that, but there’s also glimpses of the 80’s and 90’s Aerosmith too and a LOT of ballads. It’s as if all eras of the band are blended in one album and that’s their sound in 2012. I got to hand it to them, for a band of men in their 60’s there’s some pretty rocking material here, and I find that the band does vocal harmonies quite a lot this time around and it’s working rather well (actually they sound like they wouldn’t be out of place on a Def Leppard album). There’s some good but to me it’s an overall underwhelming Aerosmith album.

The ups with MFAD are the strong rock tracks. In fact the album starts off rather with a string of three solid rock songs. “LUV XXX” starts out with a spoken intro before kicking it into high gear, I wish the entire album was like this, it’s genuinely one of the best Aerosmith songs that’s been done since the 1970’s. It has that vibe from Toys/Rocks era and it’s fantastic. “Beautiful” is commercial Aerosmith at its best, it’s catchy, the vocal harmonies are excellent and the songs is very likeable as a whole. “ Legendary Child“ is a Grip a Grip era song that never saw the light of day. I was intrigued at first and when I listened to it I thought to myself “this could work”, and it does it rocks and it’s catchy enough I really like this one. “Can’t Stop Loving You” with Carrie Underwood is puzzling, having her on an Aerosmith album is obviously not going too well with some of the fans and it’s just not that good of a duet. “This Could Have Been Love” was chosen as the single and no surprise, it’s a ballad. I actually like this one, even if it’s a 1990’s Aero ballad rehash sounding or cheesy or sappy, I can acknowledge all of this but it still works for what is. “Street Jesus” has more of a classic rock edge to it, with even some jamming parts and the result is a longer, more vintage sounding track that works fairly well, it’s one of those the hardcore fans will enjoy the most. The Joe Perry sung track “Freedom Fighter” is one of the best songs on this album for me, it’s got a good Perry riff and even thought his voice isn’t particularly great the song manages to rocks.”Another Last Goodbye” is a fitting ballad to end the album with but it’s overshadowed by the fact that there are too many other ballads to truly stand out.

The first half of the album, I have generally good things to say about and it sounds promising and it makes you think that yes, maybe Aerosmith has some of the old rock sound we love back and it’s going to be an entire album like this. Then there’s the second side, filled with ballads and it really breaks the album’s flow. A big part of the problem is that the album suffers from the too much ballads syndrome that was present on albums like Get A Grip, and they sound mostly like 1990’s Aerosmith ballads. Six/seven (depending on who you ask) ballads on an album is just too much, and I like ballads but these are for the most part just sappy and rehashed songs that they’ve already done, except not as good or passionate. There’s just no overlooking that many ballads is overkill. The worst part is a duet with Carrie Underwood, no offense but what’s she doing on an Aerosmith album? Especially one which was reported as “back to their roots”. I found some of the lyrics here to be the band’s most juvenile yet, which is rather humorous coming from men in their sixties. Then again the album has 15 tracks, maybe a little too much and if they removed some of the ballads and Diane Warren songs (still using outside writers it seems) it would have come across as a tighter effort, it comes across as a modern version of Get A Grip (some good rock songs, plenty of ballads and it has over 14 songs and an outtake from that album as well) . Most of those ballads sound like they’re trying to be part II of “Amazing”, “Crying” or “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing”. 15 songs may just be a little too much, if they cut some of it down it would have made for a shorter, tighter more Rock album, that’s my take on it.

Like many fans, it’s hard for me to hide my disappointment. Still better than Just Push Play that’s for sure, but I expected more from the hype Aerosmith had around this release. There are things to like but some that . I listened to it a few times by now and I can honestly say my rating is a 2 ‘ out of 5. Some of the Rock tracks are reminiscent of classic Aerosmith and energy charged tunes but overall it comes off as an album that didn’t know what direction it wanted to take. There have been some great releases by Classic bands this year, but sadly Aerosmith’s is not one of them I’m afraid.

2/5 stars

tommy

Part 135: GUEST SHOT! Back In A Tracksuit

“It’s alright to say things will only get better.  You haven’t lost your brand new sweater.”

RECORD STORE TALES PART 135:  Back In A Tracksuit

Way, way back, in Part 15, I talked about a band called the Sultans Of Ping F.C.  (F.C. stands for Football Club.)

Their album, Casual Sex in the Cineplex, was discovered in-store by T-Rev and quickly spread to the rest of us. It was Irish punk rock with hilarious lyrics!

My brother knows Karl Marx
He met him eating mushrooms in the public park
He said ‘What do you think of my manifesto?’
I like your manifesto, put it to the testo   – (“Where’s Me Jumper?”)

That album spread line fungus among us.  One problem:  there was just one copy in the entire chain of stores.  And all of us wanted it.  So, the CD went on hold into a “store play” pile.  Anybody could listen to it on their shift, but it stayed in the store.  That arrangement lasted a few months.

But T-Rev remembers this much more clearly than I do.  I’ll let him take over:

Here is the official “Sultans Of Ping F.C.” story! We stumbled across this album, as Mike has said, completely by happenstance, put it on, laughed our heads off…history was made!

So, none of us wanted to put it “on the floor” for sale, fearing it would be gone forever, so I put it in my “pile” and there it sat for probably 3-4 months. Other staff members would listen to it (even when I was off) and just put it back in my pile at the end of the night. They didn’t want me to buy it either, as that would mean it would leave the store and enter my collection…which meant we couldn’t listen to it at the store (obviously), and I enjoyed the laugh occasionally. So it kind of became a sort of “store copy”.

One day, the boss came in and it was playing. He hated the album from the get-go (as he got a taste of it shortly after we discovered it) and he made a comment about it still being here in my “pile” and said “if you are not going to buy it, then put it out for sale!” so I did, reluctantly (thinking it would never sell anyway, and i’d be able to snag it later “unnoticed”). That same day, just before shift change, Matty came in and perused the new arrivals (as he often did prior to starting his shift).  He found the “Sultans” in said area and looks at me and says “You’re not buying this? Fuck, I will!!”…and the boss sold it to him right in front of me.

That’s the last time I have ever seen an actual copy of that album (although I have a downloaded copy of it now) – not the same!

Should’ve put it in the “Saskatoon pile”!

“Back In A Tracksuit”…”Two Pints of Raza”…”Where’s Me Jumper?”…”Give Him a Ball and a Yard of Grass”…all great tunes, funny yet insanely catchy and quirky!

I remember that we could barely understand the words, and “Indeed You Are” sounded to us a hell of a lot like “Konnichiwa”!

I know that Trevor did once locate a CD single from the Sultans.  Was it “Japanese Girls”?  Trevor adds:

I have 2 CD singles as well!!

Coincidentally, I have EVERY OTHER Sultans album except Casual Sex…

I have never seen an actual physical copy of Casual Sex again either.  A guy in Ireland burned me a copy and mailed it to me, but the sound’s not that great, and the speed sounds a little off.

Still, great songs.  Anybody got a copy?  You could have a bidding war between me and T-Rev!

REVIEW/GUEST SHOT: KISS – Monster (2012)

You lucky, lucky boys and girls.  Not only do you get TWO KISS MONSTER reviews for the price of one today, but you are getting a guest review from the scholarly Tommy Morais!  This guy is one of the most fanatic rock fans I know, and one of the top rated reviewers on Amazon.ca.   

And then, after Tommy’s review, I present to you part 52 of my own series of Kiss reviews!  FYI, neither of us had read the others’ review when we did this.  Anything they have in common is coincidental!

TOMMY’S TAKE

Out of all the guest shots Mike “LeBrain” Ladano has had, it seems he knew the contributors for years and they wrote great personal stories. Well, I’ve always been the black sheep at anything I did and this is no exception. I’ve only known Mike since 2010 and we’ve never met in person. However, I know that Mike is one of the most enthusiast fan and a hardcore collector there is and his passion for the website’s content is genuine and largely impressive. Sure I have all the studio and live albums from all my favorite bands, books, magazine, flags etc. but Mike takes it one step further and owns stuff I could only dream to own and afford, his collection is like no other as you’ve probably seen here. I first came to know LeBrain when he read some of my Amazon reviews and e-mailed me about them. He was kind enough to let me know he liked some of my reviewing work, particularly the one I did for Ratt’s Infestation album (2010). I soon discovered we both shared a love for many of the same bands and we’ve been talking Rock N’ Roll since then: albums, musicians, gossips, upcoming releases what we’d like to see etc. Best of all, Mike knows his music and you cannot understate his love for music and those bands that personally, have kept me going and rockin’. What follows is both Mike’s and my review of the new KISS album, Monster. But just before here’s to your host, all his dedication and the time and effort he puts into this website which I admire and visit daily. Cheers!

KISS – Monster (2012)

I think it’s safe to say that even though they’ve truly upset and angered some fans (to the point of leaving the KISS army) Paul and Gene still command a vast KISS army around the world. With Sonic Boom, KISS was back and it was a nice return after 11 years of complete studio silence and lack of a new album. SB was mostly well received as a return to form and a great KISS album. Then there are fans who didn’t buy the album because it’s not KISS and it’s disrespectful to Ace and Peter who were the originals to have Tommy and Eric wear their makeup. I understand both sides completely and agree with both, but I liked Sonic Boom for what it was and three years later it’s follow up (and 20th studio!) album, Monster is I have to say, better. While I was glad that there was a new KISS album and I enjoyed it, SB sounded a little too 80’s rooted at times. However, Monster is heavier, doesn’t feel like 80’s KISS and its edgy and aggressive and did I say heavy? The guitars are turned up LOUD and the drum is almighty, the sound that comes from it is massive, anthemic and fist pumping Hard Rock formula pushing far into Metal territory and as a fan, that’s good. It helps that there are no ballads either. At this point it shouldn’t be about “Fake KISS” and so on like there was a lot of talk on the Sonic Boom Amazon page, the music should stand on its own. Buying the new KISS album was always like an event, an obligation in some way whether it was Love Gun or Dynasty or Crazy Nights and now, Monster.

Opening track and first single “Hell or Hallelujah  is in your face heavy, and I was surprised at how fast it sounded. To me it sounds like something from Love Gun in ’77 like “I Stole Your Love” meets the speed of “Gimme More” from Lick It Up or perhaps another fast 80’s KISS tune. It works really well, it’s anthemic, it’s pure KISS and Paul sings it like he’s on fire and the backing vocals just get it done. “Wall of Sound” is Gene being the real demon Gene Simmons again. He’s menacing and attitude comes throughout, it’s one of the best songs on Monster. “Freak” is a track that I love if not just for the lyrics, they’re representative of KISS in a way and Paul does nicely here, it’s catchy and hits it home. “Back To The Stone Age”, now this is what I’m talking about! The sound is massive, heavy and Gene’s voice, he’s got that angry demon voice we all love. The lyrics are cool and very Gene, there’s even a neat little breakdown and it’s one of the best songs here absolutely. “Shout Mercy” is undeniably catchy and has that classic, quintessential chorus that made their classic songs memorable and radio staples, and the “whoohoos” back vocals add to the catchiness, you’ll see.”All For The Love Of Rock And Roll” is one that I quite like, it’s slower paced and less aggressive and Eric Singer does a wonderful job on the vocals (“All For The Glory” was one of my favorite songs on SB).On an album where pretty much the songs are heavy it’s nice to have something to balance it out, and while not a ballad this song does just that. I could almost see it as a single on radio. “Eat Your Heart Out” starts out with just the band singing and nothing else, those harmonies sound great and you know it’s going to be a cool track. It kicks in and doesn’t let you down, another strong one. “Outta This World” is sung by Tommy Thayer and it fits the Spaceman persona nicely, I much prefer this one to the song he had on Sonic Boom, it’s a good rockin’ track I was impressed by Tommy and he comes off as more of his own this time around. “Take Me Down Below” has obviously sexual innuendo and the reason this one is special is because Gene and Paul share lead. Gene has his story that’s reminiscent of “She’s So European” from the 1980 Unmasked album (talks about a lady, standing there, champagne, perfume, now she’s standing next to me, very Simmons) and Paul comes up with something and then the chorus and it works nicely I wish they did this more often. The only song that didn’t really do it for me was “Last Chance” but while it’s not awful I think the album might have ended stronger without it. I haven’t gone through every song or every little detail but I think you get the idea of my appreciation.

I was initially worried about the album being delayed as usually that’s never a good sign, but the album is excellent and those fears were unfounded it turns out. They’ve been at it for 40 years now (almost) and it doesn’t show, they have that drive and that passion in the sound. I think it shows more of their influences too, in one song I detected a really Zeppelin-ish part and so on which I think was great.

Gene really surprised me on Monster with his lyrics, voice and attitude he really contributed amazing stuff time around that exceeds what he did on the previous album, I think his songs may just be the best ones here. It’s not a retro album, its KISS being KISS and kicking it up a notch and sounding tighter and heavier and it works extremely well. Sonic Boom grew on me, Monster I loved immediately (SB had that extra re-recorded KISS Klassics CD and live DVD but Monster stands proudly on its 12 songs people).

To me Sonic Boom wasn’t a five stars KISS album, while very good it didn’t take it to the next level which is exactly what Monster does. Is it the perfect KISS record? Look at this point it’s better than I could have anticipated, exceeds the last one which was really good and it stands on its own, plus they’re heavier this time around and it’s the record they needed to follow up SB with. To me it’s full marks on this one, Monster really is a Monster and it impressed me! Nicely done and I don’t say just because I’m a die-hard fan with everything they’ve made. Initially the band talked about having another painting as the album cover much like Destroyer or Love Gun and that didn’t happen, a slight let down. Now I’d just love to see KISS play a big chunk of this album in a LIVE setting, they sound made for the stage and I can only imagine how well it would work.

5/5.

I’ll leave you alone and let you read what you came here to read and what we’ve all been anticipating, LeBrain’s review of KISS’ new album, Monster. I’ve been anxious as to what Mike thinks and we haven’t even discussed it yet, I’m anxious to read it myself. Enjoy!

LEBRAIN’S TAKE

CHECK OUT MY QUICKIE VIDEO ON THE 3D COVER ART!

KISS – Monster (2012 3D lenticular cover, iTunes editions)

Right from that opening guitar salvo there’s no question:  it’s Kiss.  And Kiss have made a remarkable album.  Not only is Monster a logical follow-up (and up-ratchet) to Sonic Boom, but it shows that Kiss are not afraid of growth.  Monster succeeds in sounding like new Kiss, where Sonic Boom succeeded in sounding like old Kiss.  Nothing wrong with that, I like Sonic Boom.  But I already bought that album once.

Immediately you will notice that Monster is heavier, both song-wise and production wise.  It sounds as if Kiss are attempting to scale Mount Zep.  Songs like “Wall of Sound”, “The Devil Is Me” and “Back to the Stone Age” are all classic Gene attitude, totally up his alley and he kicks them in the ass.  Listen to his bass kickin’ it on “The Devil Is Me”!  Actually I want to draw special attention to Gene as a bass player on this album.  Producer Paul Stanley wisely chose to place emphasis on Gene’s bass, and meanwhile Gene decided to throw in some of the tastiest bass-licks from his bag o’ tricks.  Nobody will ever compare Gene Simmons to Geddy Lee, but there is absolutely no question that Gene’s bass playing is perfect for these songs.

Meanwhile, there’s Paul:  yes, his voice is really rough in spots, but he works around it successfully.  Eric Singer and Gene Simmons can be heard backing him on a song like “Freak” (another great tune) creating that classic Kiss sounding harmony.  The combination of all four Kiss singers helps conceal Paul’s roughness.  And besides, every once in a while he goes for the high notes, and using them sparingly makes you appreciate them more.  The first single, “Hell Or Hallelujah”, demonstrates how Paul still manages to kick ass in the studio within the confines of his voice.

At first the only song I wasn’t digging was “Eat Your Heart Out”.  It threw me, right from the a cappella harmony that opens the song.  Now, I’m digging it.  From Gene’s signature slinky bass to Eric’s cowbell and Paul’s sly backing vocals, I love this song.  It’s an upbeat party tune like you want from Kiss.

“Outta This World”, written solely by Tommy Thayer, is his vocal showcase.  It’s another great song, not too different from his previous “When Lightning Strikes”.  It’s a great example of Tommy’s songwriting prowess.  Clearly, this is the right guy right now for Kiss.

Not to be outdone, Eric Singer’s lead vocal, “All For the Love of Rock and Roll” (written by Paul) is my current favourite song.  It’s probably the most “rock & roll” sounding of all these new Kiss songs.  It has a certain guitar jangle that would have been at home on some of the first 6 Kiss albums.  Think “Mr. Speed”.  Eric has always been a great singer and I don’t understand why Kiss didn’t take advantage of this, by having him sing lead on albums back in the 1990’s.

Gene and Paul trade vocals on “Take Me Down Below”, but even better is “Last Chance” which closes the album.  At first, by the opening bass, I’m thinking “Plaster Caster”; but then the riff kicks in.  When Pauls sings the chorus, Gene’s infectious “Ahh, ahh ahh’s” under it seal the deal.  This is a great tune.  Hope it makes the live set.

Best Buy and iTunes have a bonus track:  “Right Here Right Now”.   The beginning is like Kiss meets AC/DC!  Then it slides into an old-school Kiss singalong rocker.  Awesome tune, shame some people won’t get a chance to hear it.

MVP:  Gene Simmons.  Not only did he contribute some great songs, but his bass kicks this whole album in the nuts.  Not to mention he’s singing a lot more backing vocals, which just makes it sound more like Kiss!

Most improved:  Tommy Thayer.  To quote the  Heavy Metal OverloRd himself, Tommy is throwing in fewer “second-hand-Ace-isms”.   I agree heartily!  He sounds less like Ace, and more like Tommy.  Just listen to his solo on “Wall of Sound”.  Ace wouldn’t have played something like that.  Which is fine — Kiss don’t have to keep trying to sound like 1977 anymore.  They should (and did) try to make an album that sounds like one that these four guys — Gene, Paul, Eric and Tommy — would make in 2012.  And that’s just groovy.

5/5 stars

OF NOTE:  I have not yet located the Japanese edition.  Oh, but I will.  Bonus track:  “King of the Night Time World” live.

GUEST REVIEW: Helix -“All I Want For Christmas is the Leafs to Win the Cup” by Mrs. LeBrain

While I’m qualified to talk about Helix, I’m not qualified to talk about what this single means to a Toronto Maple Leafs fan.  For that reason, I’m handing this one over to Mrs. LeBrain!

And don’t miss my exclusive interview with Brian Vollmer! Click here!

HELIX – “All I Want For Christmas is the Leafs to Win the Cup” (2012 Helix Records 7″ single)

Helix has their Heavy Mental Christmas – This is the carol I will sing to my great-grandchildren…

All I want for Christmas… Is the Leafs to win the CUP.  That is a present worth fighting for.

From my earliest memories I have been “torontomaplegirl”.  This song sings to everything that I am.  The Toronto Maple Leafs have one of the longest droughts in professional sports, but their fans, oh their fans will be loyal until the end of time.

We load up in cars and airplanes to watch them play in other cities because it is impossible to get decent seats at their Bay Street home.  We decorate our homes with a Maple theme and select our cars and clothes in that delicious royal blue that sets us apart.  (I convinced LeBrain that we wanted a blue car that I have since named Dougie Carmour.)

“Go LEAFS Go” are the first words we teach our children, and Brian Vollmer has them wonderfully placed throughout the song’s chorus.  He makes a quick reference to the hundred year old rivalry with the Montreal Canadiens in a cute way – advising that a Habs jersey would be an unpleasant gift during the Christmas season.   He also references 1967:  the last year that the Stanley Cup was in the place it belongs.  (I have kissed the Stanley Cup on 1967 during a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame in 1994, hoping it would bring the glory back to Toronto – we made it to game 7 of the western conference finals that year.)

The song is available in two places.  It can be found on the new Helix Best Of CD covering hits from 1983 – 2012.  Available for the serious collector is a vinyl single, autographed by Brian Vollmer in green vinyl.  It has a heavy mental “Jingle Bells” on the other side.  In future releases, the vinyl will be released in different colours.  I am patiently awaiting the Maple Leaf blue coloured single to make it into the LeBrain family home.  [The vinyl release also comes with a download code in case you can’t play vinyl — nice touch. – LeBrain]

Now we just have to get working on my Thanksgiving gift wish of firing Gary Bettman so we can get this lockout bullshit taken care of.

4/5 stars

Below:  Helix sells the single, album and T-shirt as a bundle

Way to leave the closet door open behind you while taking a photo of yourself, LeIdiot!

Part 107: GUEST SHOT! – Statham: “Building the Store”

RECORD STORE TALES PART 107: Building the Store

Hey folks, Statham here. You’re looking good. Now, sit down and let me tell you a story, it’s a good one.

Last night, I had a dream. One I think you need to hear about, in the context of Mike’s blog. You see, I dreamt that Mike and I opened a record store together. It seems, for the convenience of making things happen, that I had won the lottery again. (I say again because, c’mon, it’s like having won the lottery just being fortunate enough to be me every day of the week). Anyway. The oodles of money secured the financial end of things, thus freeing us up to be creative in the endeavour.

There were a lot of naysayers. Oh boohoo, physical media is dying (if not dead), this would have been great 15 years ago, blah blah blah. Yeah well, alot people would shoot down anything anyone else wanted to do because they are lazy, needy, selfish and generally dumb. If it had been them in our shoes, they’d want us to be gushing with praise for their initiative, and they’d want us to be giving them doggie treats for being so good and clever. Anyway, we didn’t listen to any of these peoples’ negativity and they soon went away. Relief!

To his credit, Mike was onboard right away. Somehow he was still working his current job too, but also able to be at the shop all the time. Now, we all know Mike is amazing, but he really was breaking the laws of physics, here. Ah, dream-time. It makes no sense, but is the more awesome for it.

So. Being of means, we found that the organization, construction and founding of the shop was just a matter of planning and patience, but it went together very quickly. I have no idea what town we were in when all this was happening, but it hardly matters. Somehow, when the contractors were done, not only was the shop beautiful, bright and spacious, but all the shelves were jammed full of well-organized and thoughtfully chosen CDs, DVDs and games, too. I tell you, I’d really recommend those contractors to you. They were very thorough.

It wasn’t long before our doors were open, and business really started to take off. With Mike’s knowledge and my enthusiasm, it turned out to be a really worthwhile venture. People responded well to our humour, easy-going sales patter that wasn’t like sales-talk at all and, of course, our dashing good looks. It was a winner.

I don’t have a whole lot of specifics for you, just this sense I had that it was a good thing.  And that’s all I remember of that dream, in a nutshell.

ANALYSIS:

Well, clearly, all of Mike’s Record Store Tales have entered into my subconscious and activated the part of my brain that has always believed I’d like to work in a record store. Not the one Mike used to work for, from the sounds of it (even though at one point I did apply there), but still. I’ve spent enough time in record shops, so it seemed a natural enough thing to do.

And Freud would probably say this was somehow about my penis. Because everyone dreams about that, surely.

To be continued…


If you haven’t figured it out from past Statham stories, he’s Snake Eyes. I’m the Crimson Guard.

GUEST REVIEW: Steel Panther – Balls Out & Feel the Steel

LeBrain will always be straight with you when he doesn’t know something.  I have had a few requests for a write up on Steel Panther.  The problem is, I’ve never actually listened to Steel Panther.  Maybe I should change that.

So I asked the infamous T-Rev, aka Trevor from the Record Store Tales to see if he could do a review. He could, and he did. Enjoy.

STEEL PANTHER:  Feel the Steel (2009) & Balls Out (2011)

  

Steel Panther: Your New Favourite Band, by T-Rev

Michael Starr, Satchel, Lexxi Foxx, and Stix Zadinia are Steel Panther. The X-rated, Spinal Tap-esque modern day Hair band.  Intent on bringing back Heavy Metal , with a sound that will impress any fan of the “hair” genre.   Formed with ex-members of various metal bands in the 1990’s ( Rob Halford’s Fight, Paul Gilbert’s Racer X, and L.A. Guns!) originally as Metal Skool (yes…Metal’s Cool) in the early 2000’s, and a brief stint as Danger Kitty (getting some recognition on MTV and the Drew Carey Show).   Feel the Steel, the first album as Steel Panther, stands out because of its period-correct guitar assaults, its bandana wearing 4-armed drummer and the spandex covered, lipstick sporting, teased hair bass player, (reminding me of Warrant circa Cherry Pie mixed with some early Motley Crue attitude!) and of course, its lyrics!

Feel the Steel has it all, killer riffs  (often mimicking classic tunes of the past like “Fuck All Night, Party All Day’s” intentional resemblance to Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer”)  Hilariously refreshing lyrics (like the first time you ever heard “Fuck Her Gently” by the D) throw in some top notch guest star clout (Justin Hawkins duets with Michael Starr) and top it off with manufactured “rock star” personas (a la Spinal Tap), and you’ve got all the best parts of what a hair metal band should be…SEX & DRUGS & ROCK ‘N’ ROLL!  Crazy stories of sex with asian hookers, sex with fat girls, sex with neighbours, and copious amounts of “blow”, all done in a way you’d never expect…even though it feels strangely familiar.   Sounding like it came from 1989, but containing enough modern relevance to remind you it’s current.   After about the first verse, I knew I was a fan for good.  “Eminem can suck it, so can Dr. Dre, or they can suck each other…just because they’re gay” screams Starr on “Death To All But Metal”.  “Two in the pink, one in the stink”describes the “Shocker” to newcomers.  And “You’re the only girl that I like to screw…when I’m not on the road,” Michael reassures his girl on “Community Property”. 

Balls Out, their sophomore effort, continues where F.T.S. left off.  A lot of the same sexual scenarios, but the music seems to have picked up another gear, with more focus on riffage (bigger, faster, louder).   The lyrics, however, are lacking the furious onslaught they had on F.T.S.   Perhaps because the initial shock is over, now I expect it!  There is more celebrity name-dropping than before…mentioning that Charlie Sheen “is winning in the bedroom upstairs”, and that Tiger Woods thinks “3 holes are better than a hole in one”.    A good album upon first listen…just didn’t have the impact that Feel the Steel did on me.  Having said that, this album grows on you…big time!  Like any good album…it takes a while for their sauce to mix with yours!

I should also discuss Starr’s instrument…this guys voice is classic, vintage, powerful, cheesy, awesome, hilarious, and adaptive!  Vocal range that would bring a tear to Dio’s eye, heartfelt (x-rated), ballads on par with anything Bon Jovi or Poison ever did, rockers that could have appeared on stage with the great Bon Scott!   I don’t mean to come across as though I consider this band “flawless”, but, these guys are PRO’s!   Certainly impressive musically…sometimes though, they sway over the cheese line a bit, and even take the lyrics too far, but all in all, I do love these albums.  Afterall, isn’t it the cheese that we now love about 80’s metal? 

You really get the feeling that these guys are true fans of metal, not just cashing in on the novelty of wearing spandex and makeup.  Much like the ribbing the Darkness took during their invasion, some people misunderstood the flattery for ridicule.  True fans see past the hair and hear the talent in the music…every time I listen to them, they get better!  Like a drug that you can’t get enough of…you want to hear it again and again.   In a world where Justin Beiber and Nickelback win music awards, this is a welcome addiction.   A perfect mix of metal and comedy!  Destined to become a staple at everyone’s annual “sausagefest”

Feel the Steel    5/5

Balls Out              4/5

Part 85: Guest Shot – “Selling”

My buddy Statham is back with another guest shot.  This guy has haunted record stores nation wide.  He’s had a lot of experiences, selling used discs, and here’s his perspective in the context of Record Store Tales….

LeBrain & Statham, 15 years ago

RECORD STORE TALES Part 85:  Selling, by Statham

I couldn’t tell you how Mike manages his record collection, though I have a guess. Allow me this imagining: Mike holds on to most of what he buys, because his is a collection built on deliberation, patient searching and care. He only pulls the trigger when he’s getting exactly what he wants. Of course, just about everything he owns is a Special or Limited Edition in some way. I picture him as more of a curator in the Living Library Of Rawk. (Hey Mike, am I close?) [LeBrain:  Dead on.]

My own collection, by comparison to the above supposition, is completely scattershot. Finding/buying and selling CDs are fairly equal parts of the hobby, for me. Sure, I have a lot of things that I’ve found over the years that I will never sell. Some just have good monetary value (while also being something I want to own), some are out of print or from very limited print-runs. Some are autographed. I have complete (or nearly complete) collections of artists I love, and I’ll never break those up. Some are artists that were new to me at the time, and were great discoveries that have stayed with me since. I have discs that I bought, or was given, that have sentimental reasons for staying in the collection, as I associate people and places with albums/songs. Anyway, I call all of these the Anchors, the ones that have followed me everywhere.

But there is another, majority portion of the pile of CDs which I consider to be fluid. Unless I’m filling in gaps in a collection, many (if not most) of the CDs I buy are on speculation. I’m always wondering what things sound like, trying new artists out. Now, added up over the years, these purchases have spanned almost every genre. I’ve heard a lot of music. I remember that C’Dement on Ste-Catherines in Montreal had a huge 2-section sale bin by the front door where the constantly-rotating stock of CDs were priced from $0.99 to a maximum $5.99. I could load up on music, sometimes getting as many as ten discs for the price of one new release. I REALLY liked that. Such a great way to expand my horizons. Sadly, that place, like so many I used to haunt, is no longer there.

There are lots of reasons I sell discs. I have moved around quite a bit, so I sometimes unload CDs in bulk just to avoid having to lug them (and to get funds to help with the move). Clearly, not many of these are Anchor CDs. Sometimes I buy a disc because I like a song I heard, and the rest of the disc doesn’t cut it (and then I eventually tire of the song I liked), so out it goes. Sometimes people give me discs, thinking I’ll like it, and… well, no. And sometimes I think I’ll like a CD, but it turns out that it just sucks. That happens more than it should.

ANYWAY. How does any of this relate to LeBrain? Easy, I sold him a lot of CDs over the years that I dealt with him at his store. I always looked for him. He knew the score. Let me tell you, I’ve been “helped” by others (at his store, sure, and in many, many other shops across this great land of ours), and a lot of them just didn’t get it. Most often, I’d get someone who would offer me far less than things were worth, knowing they could then sell it for more and thus turn a profit. They could only hope I was an idiot. I am not. What these people failed to realize was that I spent a lot of time in record shops, and knew generally what things were worth or were priced at currently. This is especially true now that we have the wonders of the internets. Often was the time I’d hear what they offered, know it for the piss-take it was, and refuse. I’d just pack up my CDs and go.

Other times, there’d be a teenager behind the counter. And, all deference to them and their raging hormones (surely some of them must know what they’re doing), most just didn’t know what I was giving them. Honestly, if it wasn’t Top 40 or mainstream, they had no idea. Their offers were always laughable, and I should mention that I generally consider my expectations to be fair. One time, while they went through what I’d brought in, I was browsing the shelves and asked for Dead Kennedys. I was jonesing for it, and thinking I’d get it on trade. The kid looked me right in the face and honestly asked “Who?” Man, I wept for the future, that day. So as a rule, until they’re done bursting their spots, I tend to stay away from selling CDs to the youngsters.

But Mike was different. Sure, over time, we built up a rapport. But even the first few times I brought in a shoe box of discs for trade, he was fair and knowledgeable. He’d pick up this or that disc and have a comment about it, or a band somehow related to it. He never once tried to undercut me with less than what something was worth. Mike was unafraid to comment on what I had, too, often in humourous ways. I’ve already told these pages about the Jewel Incident, and the Zeppelin Incredulousness. Such was Mike’s way. Often, with other places and people, I felt I had to watch as they went through each disc and explain what it was. I could spot looks of indifference and/or confusion from across the room. But I knew I could trust Mike to competently sort through the pile on his own (thus freeing me up to browse for new-to-me things while he worked).

Mike respected, too, that I was up for trying new music, and always had a helpful tip or suggestion on what to try next. I hardly ever took the cash (unless I really needed it) when I brought stuff to Mike. I took store trade instead. Not only did I get more for my stuff that way, but I’d get some new music and happily be on my way… until the next time, when we’d do it all over again.

I’d left town eventually, but even then I would mail a box to Mike for trade or cash from his store rather than deal with the nits in the shops where I was currently living. And at some point, I heard that Mike had left the store and moved on to another, unrelated job. It was a loss for them, a gain for whomever got him next. And too bad, as I understand it, that the next job wasn’t putting his music knowledge to work. The man’s an encyclopedia.

With the exception of one fellow out West whose knowledge and ability I trust as on par, I have rarely met a record store employee with Mike’s capabilities and fairness. My collection has gained many Anchors, and is miles (and even Miles…Davis that is) better for having dealt with him.

Part 78: GUEST SHOT! Meat on LeBrain

Normally I wouldn’t post something so self-glorifying, but I won’t edit a word out of any of my guest shots.  This one comes from the infamous Sausagefester, ex-record store alumnus, and music connoisseur, Meat.  He sent this to me by surprise this afternoon, so I had to post it.   Enjoy.

RECORD STORE TALES PART 78:  Meat on LeBrain

Today is Lebrain’s 40th birthday.  Today seems like a good day to give you all my thoughts  on the man…the myth…the legend…Michael Ladano.

I would have first met Mr. Ladano in I believe late 1998 or early 1999.  I was working at a record store and really didn’t know anyone at other locations.  Since there was a fair amount of phone activity between different stores, it was inevitable that our paths would cross.  I kept hearing about the manager of another store that was something of a music aficionado, and the biggest Kiss fan in town.  Considering myself of the same ilk, and a long-time Kiss fan myself, I was looking forward to the inevitable.  I don’t remember the first conversation we had honestly,  it was probably some sort of inquiry about an Anita Baker stock transfer , but anyways,  I do remember the first time we talked about Kiss.  I remember his genuine enthusiasm hearing that I had seen Kiss on the last tour with makeup (Creatures of the Night) and the first tour without makeup (Lick it Up).  He proceeded to tell me that Ace Frehley was not actually in the makeup on the first aforementioned tour (something I already knew) and a bunch of other obscure Kiss facts.  Needless to say we immediately hit it off.  We worked together only once at his location.  He actually has a better memory of that one shift (Meat’s memory is randomly hazy…gee I wonder why) but I do remember that the shift literally seemed to go faster than any shift I had worked previously.

[LeBRAIN’S NOTE:  I do remember that night very well.  I remember driving Meat home, talking about Metallica’s medley of Mercyful Fate tunes.  As it happens, I had that tape in the car, so we rocked it!] 

I am lucky to know many guys who are self-proclaimed and ordained-by-others as music experts.  The mighty Tom has been mentioned in this blog before.  Others include Scottie Geffros…Scott Hunter and more.  Michael Ladano trumps them all in both knowledge and actual music collection.  No one loves music more than LeBrain.  I certainly disagree with a lot of music that Ladano loves, and have been very vocal to him about that, but I guess that’s just part and parcel with being “LeBrain”.  But most importantly, Michael Ladano’s greatest trait is simply being himself.  If there is someone who is more truly sincere and kind, I have not met them.  No one treated complete strangers better during his record store days than Mike Ladano.  No one loves his wife or significant other more than Mike Ladano.  The truth is  everyone likes Ladano.  As a matter of fact, there are only a very, very select few that I know that don’t like him.  Literally a few select people that all hang together and work together. Not-coincidentally these people are sincerely some of the worst people I have ever encountered in my life.  Truly lacking character, substance and kindness of any sort, they should be ashamed of themselves.  It says something that only the worst people in the Tri-Cities are the select few that don’t like him.

I really enjoy this blog Mike and try to read every entry.  Even old Meatdogs can learn new tricks, and I appreciate reading and learning about musical artists, bands and albums that I thought I already knew everything about.  Your love of music is infectious and impressive,  but not as impressive as Mike the friend, the person and the husband.  Is this blog-entry just alot of over-blown Maudlin? Of course it is. If anyone I know deserves Maudlin, its Sir Michael Ladano.  Remember, when the rest of you are sleeping comfortably at night…LeBrain is rolling in his sleep anticipating the upcoming Kiss and Darkness albums.  You gotta love the guy.

Meat