Sunday Chuckle

Sunday Chuckle: Slick Willie

Cleaning out Jen’s mom’s basement has been an adventure. I found some cool LPs and CDs (still sealed!) that we’ll look at another time. For now, something amusing.

In the 1990s Jen was dating a guy who not only wished he was American, but also wished he was a Republican. Long before any orange-skinned presidents sullied the name of the Republican party, Jen and her then-boyfriend even attended the inauguration of George W. Bush.

We found “Bill Clinton’s presidential driver’s license” in the house (see below)! This must have been her boyfriend’s possession. Let us take you back to the nostalgic glow of the 1990s, when it seemed like the worst thing a president could do was deny having sexual relations with “that woman”!

As soon as I saw it, I said “I’m keeping this”!

Sunday Special: Remembrance Day

 

Sunday Chuckle will return next week.  This Sunday, we remember the sacrifices made by those who served their countries.  For me in particular, it’s my Grandfather and his brother who fought against the Nazis in World War II that I like to remember.  As dark forces encircle the world today, let us not forget those currently serving who are keeping us free.

Here are our past stories regarding Remembrance Day, please give them a click and a read.

Thanks Grandpa Winter and Uncle Gar.  You helped make the world a better place!

“Gar” and “Sam” Winter

Sunday Chuckle: Terracotta

Yesterday my mom got home from a vacation in China.  She went with my Aunt and some friends; my dad stayed home.  She kept us posted every day via email.  Facebook is blocked in China, but her emails came in steadily with pictures attached.  In one email from Beijing, she said that the following day they were flying out to see the famous Terracotta Army.

Even my dad was impressed.

“Did you read that your mother is going to see the Chocolate Warriors?” he asked me.

Terracotta dad, not Chocolate!  Although a Chocolate Army is one I wouldn’t mind sinking my teeth into.

Sunday Chuckle: Homeless Honey?

There is a new local punk group I’m excited about.  They’re a trio; fans of Blink 182 will dig them.  Their tunes sound like the album Blink should have made instead of Neighborhoods.  I’ve heard most of their new album which will be out mid-November.  Great production, and even a couple guitar solos.  Good tunes.  Good singer.  I like them

In November, I’ll be showcasing them here on this site, so watch for a great new band called Hello Hopeless.  Of course this afternoon when I was writing this, I had a brain fart and couldn’t remember their name.  I asked the singer, “What’s the name of your band again?  Homeless Honey?”

He just stared at me.

Fortunately he’s not mad!

Fucking embarrassing, though!

Sunday Chuckle: Big Apple

The photo below is from a visit with Jen’s cousins.  Little Roman was a whirlwind of energy.  He really liked my Transformers books — throwing them, that is!  He was also excited that the hotel had free apples for everyone.

Needless to say, a child like that cannot be monitored at every second.  It was no surprise when I found an apple with one tiny child-sized bite out of it hidden in our hotel room!

Sunday Chuckle: It’s not what you say, but who hears it

It’s funny.  You can know someone your whole life, and still find new stories about them.  Such is the case with Mrs. LeBrain and her mom.

“Mum”, also known as Debbie, passed away last month but one of the joys has been the journey of discovery.  One of Debbie’s best friends sent us a newspaper clipping from the Toronto Star, June 16 1994.  The article was called “Say what?  Words to cringe by”.  It had a story about her mom that we’ve never heard before.  It’s hilarious and it reminds us so much of the way she was.  These are exactly the kind of things she would say!

 

Sunday Chuckle: Cockspital

Hospitals are so much fun!  Check out this cock-shaped graffiti from the Sunnybrook elevators!

 

Graffiti aside, Sunnybrook was a good hospital.  Canadian singer/songwriter Dan Hill had his prostate cancer treated there.  How do I know that?  There were big posters of Dan Hill advertising this fact! Dan got better, which is good.

Here’s Dan Hill’s hit ballad “Sometimes When We Touch”. Listen to it while gazing at the cock graffiti for maximum giggles.

 

Sunday Chuckle: Netflix & Chill

“Out of touch, out of reach yeah.” — Joe Elliott

I miss the days of things meaning what they’re supposed to mean.  I work with a bunch of people in their 20s and 30s.  These people do not speak English the way I do.  Two examples:

Them:  “So Mike what are you doing tonight?  Netflix & chill?”

Me:  “Yeah, probably, I have a lot of shows to catch up on.”

Them:  “HAHAHAH!  You think Netflix & chill means watching Netflix!”

Apparently I have been informed that “Neflix & chill” means “having sex”.

Here’s another.

Me:  “Boy am I ever thirsty.”

Them:  “HAHAHAH!  That means you’re horny!”

All I wanted was a Pepsi dammit!

 

Sunday Chuckle: Bloody Thumb

While attempting to cap my favourite red pen, I jammed it right in the corner of my left thumbnail.  It bled for a bit, but do you think I let this interfere with my work?  Of course not!  I took a call from a customer a few minutes after.

Customer:  “Hey Mike, how are you doing?”

Me:  “Real good thanks!  Well actually, I just stabbed myself with my pen, trying to put the cap on.”

Customer:  “Oh man…after all those years of practising with pens.”

I laughed pretty hard!