Instead of a Sunday Chuckle, I give you something better: this video (which has a couple chuckles in it) and three Max the Axe songs: “River Grand”, “Overload” and “Gods on the Radio”.
The video above is just a summation of our awesome weekend. Look for a cameo by Superdekes from our Live Streamin’ Weekend. I hope you were able to stay cool in this heat as I was! Sometimes people talk about the Top Ten Swims they’ve ever had in their lives. I may have had two of the top ten this weekend. You be the judge!
And thank you to John Snow of 2 Loud 2 Old Music for the birthday gift below. I promise I will review it soon!
Also a special Happy Birthday to my Grandma Dolly who turns 96 today!
I guess the guy across the road at the lake fancies himself a bit of a do-it-yourself-er. He has all the accoutrements: a pickup truck, some kind of four-wheeler ATV, and assorted doohickies. This season there has been a skunk spotted running between his place to my sister’s. Though the skunk hasn’t been bothering anyone, he decided it would be smart to try and catch this skunk. Without assistance.
I came into this story when I was burning up my dad’s old rotten wood last week. “Whew!” I said when I caught a strong whiff of skunk. “It must be coming from the wood.” It was so powerful, I assumed the skunk had its way with the woodpile and that’s what I was smelling. I was wrong. It was Tool Time With Tim across the street. He might have caught the skunk, but in retaliation it unleashed its full fury and you could still smell it a week later.
Lesson here: don’t be like Tool Time. Call a professional, or just leave it the hell alone!
My favourite part of the Friday live stream was when my mom interrupted my #1 AC/DC pick with instructions to water the plants.
Thussy here with another Sunday Chuckle Takeover. You can buy absolutely anything on the internet, and Wish.com is definitely a site that offers some of the weirder things. Here comes another four that the powers-that-be think we cannot live without.
Chicken helmets, and they come in seven different colours. I want to go out and buy a chicken just to buy it a little helmet. Ride down the road on a motorcycle with a chicken sitting on the gas tank. Pull up to a biker bar with little Oscar Goldman.*
A home laser tattoo removal system. There are some things that should never be done at home and tattoo removal is definitely one of them. What are they going to sell next, My First Home Laser Eye Surgery Kit? Don’t add another stupid decision to an already stupid tattoo choice. If a professional put the tattoo on you get a professional to take it off you.
Where the hell was this when I was a kid? A muffler for when you put a playing card in your spokes. So then I wouldn’t just be annoying my parents riding around the driveway I could amplify it and annoy the entire neighbourhood.
Meat socks, all I know is my bacon budget would go way up because every time I wore these they make me crave bacon. Also why is one of the options to make your socks looks like shoes, just wear shoes.
As you know, I’ve been live streaming on weekends during lockdown. Well that’s not all!
Maybe you’ve caught a live instalment of Ladano’s Wild Kingdom too? I get these massive earthworms on the front lawn, and since we’re locked down with nothing else to do, people have been watching live streams of worms! For your Sunday Chuckle, here’s an episode of Ladano’s Wild Kingdom.
It’s an historic episode too. It’s the first one where James Kalyn offered me $7 to eat a worm and a stick!
On Saturday the phone rang. I was expecting it to be my dad, since I had just attempted to call him.
“Hello!” I answered in a goofy Seinfeld-like voice.
“Well hello!” said the voice on the other end. It kind of sounded like my favourite aunt.
“Hello!” I answered back in the same goofy voice.
“I’m just calling to check in and see how you’re doing in this pandemic!” said the voice on the other end. It was not my aunt and my guard was now up.
“I’m doing great!” I said, not exactly lying, all things considered.
“This is Kathy calling from the Jehova’s Witnesses!”
I froze and reverted back to my basic phone instincts. I hung up.
Long story shot, Kathy called back two more times thinking we just got disconnected. The second time I still thought it was my dad! It is comforting to know that the Jehova’s Witnesses have evolved to deal with the pandemic! They are not able to go door to door, so now I have to avoid them in different ways!
This is an excerpt from the Saturday May 23 live stream. Uncle Meat let us know what he learned that day, specifically about people who play with Star Wars action figures. I’m sure you’ll find it as enlightening as I did.
Incidentally, this is the picture that really drove him nuts, the one of Baby Yoda eating the leaf. He describes these pictures as “creepy, like Weekend at Bernie’s“.
These pamphlets showed up at our work mysteriously one morning. Somebody else tossed them in the trash as soon as they realized who provided them!
We already know from Tom Cruise that only a Scientologist can help when there’s a car accident. Perhaps only a Scientologist can prevent Covid-19?
Uncle Meat likes to (teasingly) call me “Bum Face” during my live streams. However the fact is I am now a Shit Face. Look at this mask that Mrs. LeBrain bought for me. Typical, eh? I can’t get no respect!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there! Life has been tougher than usual these days and you deserve a big huge pat on the back. Or, to use a popular cliche, celebrate wine o’clock.
Today we’ll be visiting my 95 year old grandmother! Distantly, through a window, but she understands. I thought for this Mother’s Day, I’d share a favourite story about her.
My grandma always gave us good gifts for birthdays and Christmas, but because she didn’t really know what kids were into, started giving us money instead. We were just as happy with that, but I’ll never forget something thing she wrote in my Christmas card one year.
“Dear Michael, Merry Christmas. Use this gift to buy yourself a CD record. Love Grammie.”
A CD record! The phrase still makes me smile today.