I found Jasper from the Simpsons on my filing cabinet one morning, with a motivational message!
This one goes out to reader Harrison, who asked why I haven’t reviewed Black Sabbath’s Past Lives yet.
This is what happens when Mrs. LeBrain parks the laundry cart too close to my CD tower spinner. This got caught on the cart, and riiiiiiiip!
Note: the guitar pick inside was undamaged, and I have since bought a new case.
I was brainstorming some stories this week when I suddenly remembered one involving best buddy Bob, one of the Jedi masters who instructed me in the ways of rock.
It was early 1986, and Bob and I were gearing up for Wrestlemania II: Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy in a cage match! We went to the park and wrestled in the snow. We pretended to be Hogan while one of the snowbanks was King Kong Bundy.
Another kid from the neighborhood showed up, Billy Seabrook. Neither of us liked Billy Seabrook. He wrestled a bit with Bob, who bodyslammed him into a snowbank. Suddenly Seabrook dropped his pants and said “Look at this!” There was a piece of poo in his underpants.
Bob started making fun of him for pooing his pants, and that was when Billy claimed it was just a piece of gum that he saved there.
Bum Gum. I don’t think that’s an actual thing!
Currency is a method used to pay for goods and services in the country or region where these good and services are provided. Its denominations are very specific and exact. Often, the customer cannot pay the vendor an exact amount so the vendor is required to return the difference to the customer to complete the transaction. This action is commonly referred to as making “change”.
Money is highly recognisable to its users. Larger denominations are made of universally sized paper and plastic sheets referred to as “bills”. Smaller denominations are metal pieces with a circular shape in a variety of sizes known as “coins”. The different sizes typically indicate value so they can easily be detected and assessed by their users. Many nations have ‘coins’ very similar in colour and shape, but with the value of these coins being so small, most users cannot be bothered to examine these pieces closely to confirm authenticity.
A common coin in Canada is known as a “quarter” which has a value of 25 cents. (1/4 of a dollar) To put this into perspective, my daily coffee costs about eight quarters and an ass-kicking rock CD would cost Lebrain about 80 of these things.
One afternoon, after having a morning coffee with one of my girlfriends, we decided to visit the “Golden Arches” for a quick and unhealthy lunch. The order came out to $11.25, and for once I had EXACT change (woot!!!). I reached into my purse and pulled out my ten dollar bill, my one dollar coin (known in Canada as a ‘Loonie’) and what I thought was a “quarter”.
The cashier and her supervisor examined the coin closely and gave it back to me.
McD: “What is this?”
Me: “A quarter.”
McD: (In a rude, shaming tone) “No it isn’t and we can’t accept it from you”
I took the coin back and gave the cashier a fifty dollar bill (making her provide me with a lot of change to complete the transaction. It turns out the “quarter” was a Swiss Franc with an exchange value of $1.27 CAD.
Their loss, my gain. I just hope they didn’t spit in my fries.
Buddy Chris and I had a running joke about UFO “expert” Giorgio Tsoukalos. Everything seemed to explained by…aliens! Could it be…aliens? I came into work one day to find this taped to my file cabinet. I love it!
This Sunday Chuckle is, in part, a followup to the story of my wife’s battle with epilepsy. She now has a prescription for “Oil of the Green Ganja”, for seizure control. So far, it seems to have reduced their number and severity, but it’s a learning process. She also wanted to try the dried product to see if it would help. She got some “government green” and just needed a vaperator. We checked out a local shop called Crazy Bill’s.
I suppose you’d call Crazy Bill’s a “head shop” but we looked at it as a place for medical supplies. They have excellent service. We’re very grateful to the woman who helped us out. She recommended a particular “vape” for starting out, so that’s what we got, and so far so good with that.
Crazy Bill’s has an insane amount of candy and junk food at the checkout counter. Cool stuff, too. I couldn’t leave without getting some hard to find Nerds, a white chocolate Reese’s Cup, and…
Deep fried crickets (or “Crick-ettes”). Had to get some. Would you try these?
I don’t like spicy food. I’m a wuss. Mrs LeBrain knows this and usually makes sure our meals cater to my wussy tastes.
This week in her haste, she bought M&M’s Louisiana style chicken wings. In the small print it said “spicy”. She didn’t notice, but “Louisiana” caught my eye and then I noticed the wings were spicy.
“Sweety, these are spicy wings,” I told her.
“They’re the kind we usually get,” she retorted.
I replied “Are you sure? I don’t remember ever seeing Louisiana on the package before.” She’s 1/4 Indian and likes things a lot spicier than I do. But, she was fairly sure we’d bought these wings before and that I liked them. So, stupidly, I cooked the whole box.
I’m sure you can tell where I’m going with this. I ate one wing. Then I was running to the fridge, drinking milk straight from the carton, doing whatever I could to sooth the burning in my wussy mouth. You know what works even better than milk? Table cream. I swallowed a mouth full.
So here we have comedy of errors. Jen can be forgiven for thinking she bought the right wings, but I was a dunderhead for cooking them all! Now she has to finish them! Good thing she likes spicy.