Kelly Clarkson

#360: CHYM FM – “96 minutes of continuous light rock…for your workday!”

GEORGE AND TARA AND LEBRAIN

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#360: CHYM FM

In the beginning of my job at United Rentals, they had the radio set to local lite-rock station CHYM FM.  It is a horrible station, unless you enjoy old Daughtry and Taylor Swift ballads coupled with the biggest hits by the dulcet Lady Gaga.  Why, just the other day I was in my dentist’s office.  They have CHYM on the radio, and I was treated to some “Bad Romance” by Miss Gaga.  That’s dreadful enough, but the squeaky, bubbly on-air personalities are way too much for me to handle.  Apparently this was also the case nine years ago when I started at United, according to this 2006 journal entry.  We switched stations to Dave FM shortly thereafter.  Thank fuck!  CHYM TIME journal entry below.

Date: 2006/11/17 17:04

“96 minutes of continuous light rock…for your workday!”

That phrase, friends, is the sound of being welcomed into HELL!

Dear CHYM FM:   This is something that I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time. Here it is. Sorry if I’m being rather harsh, but you had this coming.

#1. Nobody needs to hear three Kelly Clarkson songs in one day. Nor do we need three of Jann Arden, Chantal Kreviazuk, Celine Dion, or any other of these wonderful light-rock songstresses.

#2. Lionel Richie has a long, illustrious career. I’m pretty sure he has more than one song. Why then, do you insist on playing the same damn song of his every single day?

#3. Same goes with Elton John.

#4. Tara, from the morning George and Tara Show, is too fucking perky. She’s like a fucking toothpaste commercial!  I don’t need that shit at 8:30 am before my coffee.

And finally #5.  Why do you call your station “today’s light rock”?  Are you not aware that Jann Arden hasn’t had a hit in over a decade?

Yours truly, Mike

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