RECORD STORE TALES #1200: Birthdays, Castles and Cornfields
My goal when making drone videos is never to invade privacy, only to make cool videos of the things around me. Ever since 2022, Jen and I have been driving past this cool “castle” in the middle of nowhere. We have stopped to take pictures because it is such a whimsical looking place. I have long wanted to do a drone video of the castle we once called Deke’s Palace.
I woke up around 5:30 AM on my birthday. I chatted with friends and enjoyed a birthday steak for breakfast. I thought about driving somewhere to make a drone video. Around 8:00 I decided to wake up Jen and make a run into town. I packed up my Potensic drone and made our way up to the castle. We waited for three cars to pass, and then I was airborne. I saw no vehicles for the entire flight, but I did soar close enough to the castle to see its ramparts, battlements, and three turrets. I also hovered over a winding river, and zoomed low over a cornfield.
I always like to try to accomplish something new creatively when I can, and this counts as a brand new location. I am very happy with the resultant video.
After my flight, we went into the essential hobby store Leisure World, and I treated myself to a birthday gift.
Simply a wonderful birthday, enjoyed in the best place in the world.
GETTING MORE TALE #472: The Fellowship of the Ring
My old man took me to a lot of movies as a kid. The tradition was, I had to see every Star Wars movie in the theater three times. That also went for Raiders of the Lost Ark. When those movies were new, you couldn’t just wait for them to come to home video. You had to see them in the theater and memorize every moment. As he got older, my dad liked going to movies less and less. Actually, he liked going anywhere less and less. He’s also not fond of the loud volume level at a modern movie theater. We can’t drag him out to movies too often. My sister managed to get him to see The Force Awakens. Before that, my last success getting him into a movie theater seat was Avatar.
Now, let’s go back in time 15 years. Peter Jackson’s incredible Lord of the Rings trilogy had finally begun, with Fellowship of the Ring. My dad wasn’t familiar with Tolkien. I was just starting to read his books, starting with Fellowship of the Ring. The movie was obviously going to be a must-see, and it had several actors he liked: Sean Astin, Ian Holm, and especially John Rys Davies. I know we didn’t go opening weekend, so we probably went to see it the following weekend. The theater was busy, packed full of nerds waiting to whip out their preciouses. My dad doesn’t like crowds much so that didn’t help his mood. My mom and I dragged him out, and he was definitely letting us know he wasn’t going willingly.
We got our tickets, found three seats together, and sat directly behind some Tolkien fans who were more excited about it than my dad. Continuing with the complaints, he asked the first question of the night. “How long is this movie?”
I answered casually, “About three hours.”
“Oh dear God. Oh Jesus Christ,” he responded with his head in his hands. “Three hours. Dear Jesus.” He didn’t seem that enthused as he muttered loudly. I could feel people staring at the back of our heads.
He complained through the trailers, but a strange thing happened over the course of the movie. He started to like it. It’s undeniable that Sir Ian McKellan was the Gandalf that everybody wanted to see. He liked seeing old guys like Christopher Lee still on the screen. He liked Frodo. He liked Sean Bean and Viggo Mortensen. But he didn’t know one little minor detail about the film….
We neared the end. The final Orc battle was impressive; expertly orchestrated and shot. It was a marvel to behold at the time. Unfortunately, the Fellowship was now fractured. Boromir was dead. Frodo and Samwise were all alone. Merry and Pippen had been captured by Orcs. All seemed lost. Roll credits.
“That’s it?!” my dad howled. “Why didn’t he just throw the goddamn ring into the fire?!” Now, two girls in the row in front of us were staring him down. “What kind of ending is that? I thought they had to throw the ring in the fire!”
I exlaimed, “They’re still going to throw it in the fire! There’s two more movies still! It’s a trilogy.”
And then, his final complaint. “Two more movies? Oh dear God. Oh Jesus Christ. I have to do this two more times just to see him throw the damn ring into the fire? Why the hell didn’t they just go there and throw it in? I was expecting him to throw it in the fire and that’s it!”
If eyes could shoot daggers, then at least 20 daggers were fired in his direction. I awaited popcorn missiles. We managed to get to the minivan without being attacked by swarms of Elves or even worse, Cave Trolls.
The really amusing denouement is, my dad actually loves Lord of the Rings today. But he loves it right where he likes it: On his widescreen TV, in surround sound, in front of his favourite chair. And that’s alright by me.
In early 2004, a guy I knew from my University days came into the store. He was making an indy movie with some locals, and he asked me if I’d be willing to donate a gift certificate to help raise funds for the movie. The store would get their name in the credits.
Knowing my bosses would never go for it, but wanting to help the guy out, I bought a $10 gift certificate myself and donated it to the movie. He was very grateful and psyched. He loaned me a DVD of a movie they had made the previous year, a very very low budget fantasy thing. It was, in a word, awful. Lord of the Rings, this was not!
Next thing I knew, he had put my email address on a mailing list for these movie people. I started receiving drafts of what generously might be called a “script” for some kind of spy drama.
I quietly read the emails as they arrived, somewhat amused by the sheer lack of any sort of story, but more interested by the internal strife. It seems the cast and crew had no faith in their writer/director, and didn’t understand the plot of his movie, at all. The highlight of this exchange was recorded in my journal. This is the email, word for word, that I received on May 5 2004.
Date: 2004/05/05 08:24
THERE ARE NO HOLES IN THE SCRIPT!!!!!!!!!!
It is the result of months of rewrites. I am not responsible for your lack of comprehension.
If you do not get the subtext of Dimitri’s quest for redemption, if you do not see how many times MacPherson throws misinformation Rick’s way, if you do not see the fact that Dimitri is NOT LIKED by any of the western cops, if you do not see that Marie is a surrogate sister for dimitri on his quest, if you do not see that Simon is only a catalyst, if you do not see that the whole waterseed subplot is just that and the resolution is NOT part of the storyline, too damned bad.
At this point, I actually started feeling guilty about my voyeuristic enjoyment of these emails. I asked them to remove me from their mailing list. The next day, I recorded this in my journal:
Date: 2004/05/06 06:27
When I asked to be removed from their mailing list, they sent me a bunch of emails saying, “No wait! Don’t go! The script is good!” And I had to reply, “I’m not even INVOLVED with your movies. I just donated $10 in gift certificates and suddenly I’m on these mailing lists.” Though, admittedly, I will miss their ridiculous emails.
The guy from my University days came in to collect the DVD he had loaned me, and never came into the store again. I don’t know if the film was ever made, and I don’t know if our store ever got its name in the credits.
In fact, I don’t think it would have been a good thing if the store did get its name in the credits.
Record store employees get a lot of free shit. From shirts to discs to posters to the oddest promotional merchandise you can think of, they get a lot.
Used record store employees, like myself, do not!
Reason being? The word “used”. The record distributors automatically assumed we would sell everything that we got for free. Which we didn’t, because we didn’t want to hurt our already tenuous relationship. This is where my personal experience differs from the average record store guy. I got very, very little free stuff over the years.
Sometimes you’d see the odd promo disc arrive, but it was either something completely unknown that nobody wanted, or something like Much Dance 2002, that nobody wanted.
I did get a few things. Most of this stuff isn’t around anymore, either given away or wrecked. Here’s a complete list of everything that I personally ever got for free from a record label during my 12 year tenure at the store, and it ain’t much! This stuff would just show up in boxes of discs that we ordered.
A Jon Bon Jovi golf ball, to promote his solo album Destination Anywhere. Ended up selling it at a garage sale for 25 cents.
A very nice Green Day Nimrod sweatshirt. It too was green. Don’t know what happened to it.
I had to fight for this one: A nice black Kiss sweat shirt. The higher-ups didn’t want me to get it. (Don’t know what they wanted it for!)
A Jann Arden “Insensitive” baseball hat.
A Vince Gill blue denim hat.
Two rolls of Star Wars stickers to promote the DVD release of the Original Trilogy. These have lasted a long time and I still have a partial roll. You’d be amazed how many things look better with Star Wars stickers on them
A bunch of Yoda buttons to promote Attack of the Clones. Gave these away to kids.
A bunch of Lord of the Rings buttons, to promote Fellowship. Also gave these away to kids.
Of these things, all I have left are the stickers and the Kiss sweatshirt, slowly fading from many washes. Not a lot to show for 12 years of the record store grind, but as I said, the record companies really hated giving us anything for free. The funny thing is, other people (DJ’s, employees at other record stores) would come in and sell us dozens and dozens of promotional discs that they got for free. So the irony is, even though we played by the rules, we got stiffed. The other people who broke the rules got free shit all the time! Ain’t it the way?
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