Windows

#1201: Reno Schmeno! (What A Song Should Do)

RECORD STORE TALES #1201: Reno Schmeno! (What A Song Should Do)

The things we find and re-discover during renovations are exciting!

I was extremely anxious in the months leading up to replacing our windows.  As classic collectors of merch (aka “hoarders”), we had to move a bunch of stuff and make a lot of space.  We donated a lot of clothes, and we dug up a ton of cool stuff that we forgot we had.

In a box hidden away, I found five sealed Transformers toys (including four 3rd party toys) that were San Diego Comicon exclusives.  I bought them years ago, cheap.  I just sold the first one for $250.  I also dug up some musical treats and memories that are only the tip of the iceberg.

More discoveries included binders full of collector’s cards, and a box full of Jen’s teenage and mid-20s CD collection.  Some surefire embarrassments in there that will make for a great video post someday soon.  I also found a box full of memorabilia, which I have purposefully not dug into yet, because I want to surprise myself on camera when I open it up.

As the kids say, if you don’t do it on camera, what’s the point of doing it?

Finally after several weekends of work, we were ready.  New windows going in July 28.  I tore down my PC and relocated it to a safe room.  I covered everything in sheets.  We over-prepared.  This caused all my anxiety to melt away and transform into excitement.  Our old windows were 34 years old.  Last winter, you could feel the draft, and this summer they started to leak.

The window renovations were scheduled for 8:00 AM.  I woke Jen up at 7:00 to do the final prep.  We set up a nice area in the kitchen to sit and stay out of their way.  They would need access to all the other rooms.  Four windows in total, including bedroom and en-suite bathroom…and of course Grab A Stack HQ’s window.

8:00 ticked by.  No trucks outside.

“Maybe they’re eating breakfast,” said Jen.

8:30.  9:00.  No sign of the workers.  I was impatient, but knew they would get there eventually.

Finally at 9:30 a truck rolled in.  As the workers poured out, a second truck (a foreman) also pulled in.

“You guys have to get here at 8:00 AM!” he yelled.

“We’re trying,” replied one of the workers.

“It’s 9:30!” yelled the foreman.  “You’re at the shop at 7:30; it doesn’t take two hours to get here!”

Fortunately, the workers were efficient, considerate and friendly once the work started.  I didn’t want to have to move my actual desk at Grab A Stack HQ.  It would be easier for me to move the the PC and peripherals while leaving the desk intact.  The main worker said “no problem”.  They did a great job working around my small desk.

The windows were all ripped out by 11:00 AM.  The guys took a lunch break.  Gleefully, I stuck my head out the gaping holes, seeing my home from an angle I’ve never had before.  I have to admit, I had fun.

The workers were based out of St. Thomas, where I assume country music is the norm.  Their truck was backed in close to my open window holes.  I got to hear every song.

Every. Damn. Country song.

The one that sticks out the most reminded me of Bon Jovi, but not in a good way.  It went like this:

Hell yeah,
Me too,
Yeah, that’s what a song should do.

I laughed to myself.  What shit!  I wonder if Iron Maiden would agree that a song should make you go “Hell yeah, me too”?

I asked my buddy Tim Durling, who works in radio and was familiar with the song, who sang this atrocity?

“That guy,” he responded.  I laughed.  Turns out it is a Canadian country singer named Tim Hicks.  Of course he would be named Hicks.

I didn’t hear one single country song that I recognized the whole day.  They all sounded like stuff that could have been on Lost Highway by Bon Jovi.  Awful, but I looked at it as a learning experience, as I did the whole day.

The guys were done by about 3:00 PM.  I set up my computer and started to refresh Grab A Stack HQ around my new window.   It went so smooth.  We only had two issues.  My security camera won’t power up.  I guess I must have dropped it.  We also needed to get creative when hanging the blinds back up, but they are only temporary.  We will be getting new ones to go with the new windows.

Jen and I are thrilled with our new windows and brighter spaces.  We can’t wait to continue this project into 2026.

Playing music in my new brighter HQ makes me happy.  Isn’t that what a song should do?

 

 

#836: Transformers 2 – Revenge of the Schnauzers – How It Was Made & Full Movie

GETTING MORE TALE #836: Transformers 2 – Revenge of the Schnauzers

For one weekend in the summer of 2012, I put the music on pause.  Transformers 2 – Revenge of the Schnauzers was the title.  It was a series and  I made four movies in total.  Five, if you count the final one that I shot but never edited.  There’s something so satisfying about animating Transformers.  I wanted to go big or go home this time, and what I ended up with this time was a 44 minute movie (originally split into two parts for file size reasons).

It’s amazing to think I did this movie in a single weekend in July 2012.  Probably Canada Day weekend.  I filmed the whole thing in just two days.  You can see the the light change as I filmed from sunrise to sunset, in order to squeeze time out of every minute.  And this movie was just my side project!  At the same time, I was also posting 1-2 articles per day for my main gig:  reviews and Record Store Tales.

I came prepared for Canada Day weekend with my Nokia C3 cell phone as my only camera.  Here’s something you didn’t know.  Cell phones back then were so much easier to do primitive animation with.  There’s a pause button you could hit when you’re making a video, and it essentially allowed me to do the stop motion very single-handedly, very quickly, just by hitting that pause button.  Sure, I made a few mistakes along the way.  I had to reshoot entire scenes when I didn’t know I was pausing “off” instead of “on”, but it did enable me to do this entire thing in just two days.  I barely stopped to eat, and I was just wiped by the end of it.  I think it was a manic episode to be honest with you, but a doctor never diagnosed that so it’s just my opinion.

I chose the characters (and more importantly, toys) that I wanted to use for the movie.  Most of them are from the Generations lines, with some third party add-on kits for Hound and Goldbug.  Others are reissues of G1 originals:  Soundwave and his tapes, Predaking, and Ultra Magnus.  I needed figures that would be easy to transform on the fly.  Magnus and Predaking were brand new in my collection and I wanted to show them off.  I decided to bring more Decepticons with me than Autobots to give them a real disadvantage.  I built the teams and roughed out a story.  Dialogue was improvised on the spot but not fixed in place until the editing stage a few days later!

I used Windows Movie Maker, then and now, to edit.  It was much less stable then (or at least my computer is more powerful now).  The amount of edits I used numbered in the hundreds and crashes were frequent.  Even though I was essentially editing “live” in-camera as I filmed and animated, I was also tightening up those edits with Windows.  Funny enough, Windows has no more features in the current version than it did in 2012.  For the laser blasts, I added a “split” and inserted a “fade in from white” effect.  They are remarkably effective.

I originally edited the movie with mainstream rock music as the soundtrack.  I used Van Halen, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Bruce Dickinson, and AC/DC among others.  Needless to say, YouTube never let me upload it, so it sat on my various hard drives and DVDs all these years.  Until I recently had an idea.

Uncle Meat’s hatred of my “playing with action figures” inspired me to use his music to get around the YouTube issues.  More accurately, Max the Axe’s music (with a little of my sister’s mixed in).  It worked brilliantly.  Just as well as the original version, though with music you’re not familiar with.

Now you can hear many of these great Max the Axe tracks for yourself.  While watching robots blow each other to bits!

Sure, it was cool when I used “Accident of Birth” by Bruce Dickinson as the entrance music for the Colossus Schnauzers and….

Oh!  You’re confused about the Schnauzers.  Having grown up around the wee beasts, I realized that in action figure scale, you could use them as giant monsters if you could get them to do what you wanted them to do.  With Kathryn Ladano’s help, we used treats as incentives to chase and attack Autobots.  I affixed Decepticon logos to their foreheads and wrote them into the story as Shockwave’s latest creation:  Colossus Schnauzers.  With DNA stolen from a secret lab (named after the two doggies Laci and Ali), the Decepticons engineered giant versions of the beasts.

It’s up to the Autobots to find out what they are up to, with a small squad led by Ultra Magnus.  (I had focused on Optimus Prime in the preceding chapter with his death and rebirth as Powermaster Prime, so I wanted a different leader figure this time.)  I used two Bumblebee figures.  One was modified with a third-party head that made him into a Generations version of Goldbug, his rebuilt form.  This is all roughly based on an original Marvel comics storyline.  I also took inspiration from the TV show.  One figure that I wanted to show off next time was my transparent “Ghost Starscream”.  I didn’t have time to get into that with this chapter, so I ended it with some foreshadowing that would allow me to introduce my ghost version of the figure next time.

I coloured the dialogue to make it easier to tell which ‘bot is talking. I did an “infodump” introduction for the Predacons.  This is the much-critisized technique used by Bob Budiansky in the 80s Marvel series.  Each new toy had an introduction, because the comic was just a device to sell toys.  That was my homage to Budiansky.  The characterisations of the figures in my film are meant to be true to their toy bios and comic book appearances. Although my story takes place in a universe all its own, it’s similar to the ones you know.  The “release the Schnauzers” scene is of course a parody of the the Kraken scene in Clash of the Titans.  I wanted something that reminded me of Poseidon pulling the chain that opened the big gate.

I haven’t watched this movie for a long time. I had forgotten that I even included a “blooper reel” at the end. This is the only part of the movie that still has its original music soundtrack. Though I’ve forgotten the name of the track, that’s Kathryn Ladano’s music playing and that’s her in her only cameo!

Consider that I shot this thing in two days, sunrise to sunset, and edited it together in a couple more, all while posting new daily reviews and Record Store Tales. That’s unbelievable and probably also unhealthy. But I still enjoy the results! I legitimately like this. I also enjoyed adding the new music by Max the Axe and seeing how it worked out.  I’m proud enough to post it here for you to enjoy. And I hope you do!

VIDEO GAME REVIEW: Queensryche’s Promised Land (CD-ROM)

QUEENSRYCHE’S Promised Land (CD-ROM for Windows, Windows 95, or Mac) (1996)

Promised Land is my favourite ‘Ryche album, so when this came out I had to have it.  Somewhat a companion piece to the album, it is also a game on its own.  There are two discs:  One, a virtual tour of the cottage where the band recorded the album, and Two, the Promised Land video game.

The object of the game:  Explore five different fantasy lands (one “world” for each member) that “reflect the thoughts, dreams, nightmares, humor and values of the members of Queensryche.”  There are puzzles in these areas and a lot of places where you just get lost, but there’s also cameos by the band members and snippets of original music.  The goal of the game is to find all five pieces of the Queensryche totem.  They’re hidden, one per world, and if you get them all you unlock a Queensryche song called “Two Mile High”.  This song, a brief acoustic number with an electric DeGarmo solo, was recorded specifically and exclusively for this game.  Unfortunately you won’t unlock it in any worthwhile format, you’ll sit and watch a Quicktime video instead.

screen shot 2

The other part of the Promised Land package is a lot cooler.  On the disc labelled Big Log, you can explore the cabin studio where Queensryche recorded the album.  You can move from room to room and click objects to unlock videos.

Unfortunately, with Geoff Tate out of the picture, it seems unlikely that a DVD release of these video segments would be high on the priority list for the band.

Anyway, it seems kind of pointless to give a rating to a game like this since it’s unlikely you’re currently rushing out to buy a 1996 PC video game.  If I had to put myself back in the day and how I felt when I got it, I’d rate it like this:

  • Game – 1/5
  • Big Log disc – 4/5
  • “Two Mile High” song – 3/5 

Screenshots from AdventureGamers.com.

Check out the unintentionally funny game trailer below:


More Queensryche:

Mike Ladano: Exclusive EDDIE JACKSON interview, part I

Mike Ladano: Exclusive EDDIE JACKSON interview, part II

Mike Ladano: Exclusive EDDIE JACKSON interview, part III

Mike Ladano: Exclusive EDDIE JACKSON interview, part IV