Author: mikeladano

Metal, hard rock, rock and roll! Record Store Tales & Reviews! Grab A Stack of Rock and more. Poking the bear since 2010.

Part 29: Klassic Kwotes V!

1.  “LARS!  Stop that!”  Said by a long-haired dad, to his rat-tailed little brat kid. The dad was wearing a Metallica shirt.

2. “Can you fix this CD?”  We were presented a copy of disc 4 of the Led Zeppelin box set, almost snapped completely in half, so massive was the crack.  For the record, if anyone’s curious:  NO!  You can’t fix a CD with a crack in it! 

3. “Do you want to see a picture of me, dressed up as Snake Eyes, from G.I. Joe?”  I really wish I could remember the context of this one!

4. “Do you have any nice music for the kids?  Not that Backstreet Boys shit.  We don’t like that black music.”  Do I really need to comment?

5. I was buying a large quantity of discs from a lady, but she really wasn’t happy with the offer.  The CD that I was paying the highest for happened to be an Elton John disc, Yellow Brick Road.  One of the lady’s kids asked, “Mommy, why is he paying the most for that one?”  The mother points at me and says, “Probably because he’s a fruit.”

6. Little known fact:  4 out of every 5 parents shopping in CD stores don’t watch their kids.  Surprised?  I bet you’re not!  This one bad parent wasn’t watching as his kid systematically pulled every CD down from an entire section and threw them in a big pile on the floor.  I was at the register and the section was not visible to me, and with the kid being so small I didn’t see anybody over there.  When I saw him, I said, “Oh, no!”  The dad looked over and said, “No big deal, it’s only a couple of discs.  You’ll have them back up there in no time.”  Perhaps, but doing it in alphabetical order took 4 hours.

7. “Can I light up in here?”  Again, no comment required.

8. “What the fuck did you do to your head?” Said to me by a guy after I bleached my hair blonde the first time.  (Can’t actually blame him on this one.  It was memorable.)

9. “How much would it cost to buy every CD in here?”  This very odd question was asked numerous times over the years by curious children.  Why?  I’m not really sure.

10. “Do you want to buy a picture of me with Phil Donahue?”  Said to me, once again, by Snake the Tattoo Man.

HELIX VIDEO featuring SNAKE THE TATTOO MAN!

Part 28: The Boy Who Killed Pink Floyd

Hiring a regular customer almost never worked out.  The first time we did it, we hired this kid…we’ll call him Todd.  Yeah.  Todd was just getting into Pink Floyd at the time we hired him.  He was also getting into a couple other things that may have influenced that, but we won’t talk about that.

Todd lasted a few months.  During those months, he played Floyd on every single shift.  Every.  Fucking.  Shift.

I didn’t own any Floyd back then, but before Todd, I was enjoying their tunes such as “Learning To Fly” and “Keep Talking”.  I could have become a Floyd fan officially, at any time, if not for Todd.

I burned out on Floyd in a matter of  days.  We worked together every weekday and a couple weekends for a month setting up that store.  The first two weeks were manageable, but after that, I could have strangled lil’ Todd.  I asked him to cut down the Floyd, it didn’t have much effect.  I guess I could have given him a direct order to cut the Floyd, since I was his boss.  However I was a much nicer person back then, and I had been subjecting Todd to Deep Purple something fierce.

The Floyd though, it reached such levels that I could not bear.  I fucking hated Pink Floyd!  I couldn’t listen to Floyd again for seven years!   Girls would come over to the house.  “Don’t you have any Floyd?”  No!  I don’t have any fucking Floyd!

I have quite a bit of Floyd now, the scars from those days have completely healed.  But I will let you in on a little secret.

Todd reinvented himself as a Game of Thrones fan — no Floyd in sight anywhere — and I find that hilarious.

LeBRAIN WEEK! (Day 5)

I want to say a big THANK YOU to Craig at  107.5 Dave FM, for yet another fantastic LeBrain week.  I think this is the third LeBrain week, and of course all of February was LeBrainuary!

To cap it off for me, Craig picked my favourite 4-play.  Would you have solved it?

Today’s 4-play:

  1. Guns N’ Roses – You Could Be Mine
  2. Ozzy Osbourne – Mama I’m Coming Home
  3. Motley Crue – Girls, Girls, Girls
  4. Hanoi Rocks – Boulevard of Broken Dreams

ANSWER: Vince Neil is a Douche!

  1. Guns N’ Roses – You Could Be Mine (Vince and Izzy got into a backstage scuffle with led to a longstanding rivalry with Axl Rose.)
  2. Ozzy Osbourne – Mama I’m Coming Home (Vince started a feud with the “Mama” of this song – Sharon Osbourne which basically makes it a feud with Ozzy too.  He trashed her in his book.  And you know Sharon  doesn’t back down.)
  3. Motley Crue – Girls Girls Girls (What Vince, where?  FIRED that’s where!  And let’s not forget the MTV interview with the Crue where they mocked Vince Neil for hitting a coral reef while surfing.)
  4. Hanoi Rocks – Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Vince killed their friggin’ drummer!)

REVIEW: Alice Cooper – I’ll Bite Your Face Off 7″ single

ALICE COOPER – “I’ll Bite Your Face Off” picture disc 7″ single (2011)

FACEOFFIf you’re a Cooper fan, this is totally worth buying.  It’s a beatiful 7″ with Ross Halfin photo on one side, and tracklist on the other.  “I’ll Bite Your Face Off” is a nice looking disc to start with.

The song itself is an uptempo rocker from the recent Welcome 2 My Nightmare.  It’s a fairly strightforward song, unlike some of the more quirky songs from the album.  As such, it makes good single material, but it’s not among the best tunes on the album.

“I’ll Bite Your Face Off” was co-written by Neal Smith, of the original Alice Cooper band.  It was performed by all the surviving members of that band, too:  Smith (drums), Michael Bruce (guitar) and Dennis Dunaway (bass).  It is their first recording together since 1974.  Wow.

On the flipside is a great live version from the Download festival. This recording is not available anywhere else. It features a great Steve Hunter guitar solo and a truly rocking backing band.  If you want to complete your Welcome 2 My Nightmare collection, I’m afraid you’re going to need this single!

Awesome. 5/5  stars.

LeBRAIN WEEK! (Day 4)

Tune in ALL WEEK to the Craig Fee Show on 107.5 Dave FM, at 4 pm!! It’s LeBRAIN WEEK all week!

Today’s 4-play:

  1. The Beatles – A Day in the Life
  2. Pink Floyd – Comfortably Numb
  3. Kiss – Shout It Out Loud
  4. Kiss – Black Diamond

Answer:  Each song features performances by two lead vocalists singing different parts! 

  1. Lennon sings the start, and Paul sings the finish on A Day in the Life
  2. Roger sings the verses, with David on the choruses
  3. Gene and Paul trade off some lines
  4. Paul sings the intro, Peter sings the body of Black Diamond

Incidentally, Black Diamond is one I have never heard of Dave before.

Part 27: Store Play

Another suggestion from Tommy Morais, my Amazon rock buddy from the east!  He wants to read about glam rock bands, and Canadian bands!  I played a lot of each at the store, especially in the earliest days.  I’m gonna throw some prog and metal in here too.  Here’s some of my fondest memories.

LeBRAIN’S STORE-PLAY CLASSICS!

1996.  We had just opened our flagship store, and I was selected as manager.  This meant I’d be working alone for most of the day, and I could play what I wanted.  In the earliest days there were fewer rules.  The boss might make fun of me for playing Poison, but in the old days, he never told me to take it off as long as it was only once in a while.

I remember playing glam metal stuff like:

Poison – Native Tongue.  I enjoyed trying to turn kids onto music they’d like, but would never touch if they knew who it was.  It sometimes worked!  I think I sold one copy of Native Tongue that way, anyway.

Motley Crue – self titled.  This is in my top three Motley records of all time.  The one without Vince Neil.  A guy from the HMV store in Waterloo gave me props for playing it.  I once sold it to a guy who hated the latest Crue, Generation Swine.  I turned him onto self titled instead.  Instant fan.

David Lee Roth – Your Filthy Little Mouth.  I played this a shit-ton in the spring of 1995 too.  I don’t know why I like it so much, it’s so cheesey.  Dave does country!  Dave does reggae!  Dave does jazzy loungy stuff!  Dave does VH!  But Dave does write hilarious lyrics, and I did like that.

Van Halen – Any time, any where, any how.   But any time we had a copy of 1984?  Hell yeah!  And you couldn’t keep Best Of Volume I in stock for very long.  Certainly not if you played it.  The first year or two it was out, I probably sold it every time I played it!

Def Leppard – Slang.  Again, much like the Poison and Crue, I was trying to turn new kids onto these classic bands that had explored new directions.  Unfortunately, Slang sold like shit.  I think it was too different for the old fans, and too old for the new fans.

And now let’s talk about Prog rock.  Ashleigh used to call prog music “smart-guy rock”.   That’s one reason why I wanted to play it every shift we shared.  I was trying to show her I was a smart guy, see?

Marillion – Misplaced Childhood.  I played Marillion so frequently, that my co-workers Matty K and Ashleigh knew the words to some songs.  Unfortunately, they didn’t consider that a good thing.

Fish – Kettle of Fish.  See above!

Dream Theater – Images and Words.  This came in so rarely, that when it did you had to play it.  It always sold if you played it.  We had so many musicians and wanna be’s (like me) coming into the store, they inevitably would ask what the fuck is this?  This one kid, a drummer named Curtis, loved Dream Theater.  I sold him his first Dream Theater.  Do you know how cool that is, selling somebody their first Dream Theater?  Curtis is a fantastic musician.  He’s jammed with my sister, actually.

Rush – Moving Pictures.  Like nails on a chalkboard to the girls in the Operations staff.  Could not play this if they were in the city, let alone the store.  But my fuck, what an album.  I remember Tom put a sticker on it that said, “Best album of the 80’s!”.  I thought to myself, “Then I need to hear the whole thing!”  I had never heard “Vital Signs” before.  I am sure Matty K remembers to this day, “Everybody got to evelate from the norm”.

And speaking of Rush!  I did a lot of Canadian themes.  We had a 5 disc changer.  A lot of the time, I would specifically pick 5 Canadian artists to take up a shift.  You’d often hear:

Sloan – 4 Nights at the Palais Royale.  In my opinion one of the top five live albums of all time.  It is also my favourite Sloan album.

Stompin’ Tom Connors – Anything we had in the store would work, as he didn’t come in frequently.  Unfortunately, Stompin’ Tom didn’t fare too well for store play in Kitchener.  Nobody seems to like him in this town.

Rush – duh?

Triumph – ditto.

Kim Mitchell / Max Webster – Another artist our Operations people hated.  I did one entire 5 disc shuffle of nothing but Kim and Max.  Kim was playing in town that day so I was hoping to drum up some sales.  I failed to do so, but I did try.  I was told to remove the Kim and Max from the player.

Helix / Brian Vollmer – I’d play Helix when it was in, which was infrequent.  I remember playing the Brian Vollmer solo album for Kevin, one of the guys that ended up in my wedding party.  I played the song “Good Times Don’t Get Better Than This” in the store.  I thought he would enjoy it.  Unfortunately, he did not.  I believe the words he used were, “This is not good.”  Kevin, I kindly submit that I strongly disagree to this day.

Even more rarely though came the opportunity to play the early stuff, the stuff with Brent Doerner singing lead.  Once — just once — Breaking Loose and White Lace & Black Leather came in.  I’m kicking myself for not buying them.  But when they were in store, I played “Billy Oxygen” on repeat for about 20 minutes.

Oscar Peterson – I only had the opportunity to do that once though.

Voivod – self titled.  The first one with Newsted.  Metallica had come out with St. Anger and a lot of fans didn’t like it.  I tried to sell this, which was more traditionally prog metal like old Metallica.

Incidentally, at the same time,  I was training a new franchisee around that time.  He was amused by how excited I was that the album Angel Rat, by Voivod, had come in, with 3D glasses intact.  I explained that usually these would be missing, but the CD was mint!  And “Clouds In My House” sounded great in-store!

Voivod crosses the boundary from prog into metal (or is it vice versa?), but I certainly did play a lot of metal in the store.

Bruce Dickinson – Balls To Picasso.  I played this virtually every shift during the fall of 1994.  At the time, I thought “Tears of the Dragon” and “Change of Heart” were among the deepest songs I’d ever heard.  Yeah, well.

Iron Maiden – Brave New World.  I love this album.  Matty K knows every word of “Blood Brothers”.

G//Z/R – Plastic Planet.  Easily the heavist thing I have ever played in store.  Even I was uncomfortable!

sHeavy – The Electric Sleep.  Incidentally, the greatest Black Sabbath album that was not made by Black Sabbath.  Every time, people would ask, “Is this the new Ozzy?”  Every time.  You could put money on it.

Judas Priest – Turbo.  It was the only one I could get away with!

Man, those were good times!   I am sure I could write another dozen of these.  I mean, we played a lot of music.  From Esquivel to Brushy One-String to Pansy Division to Jaymz Bee & the Royal Jelly Orchestra, we tried and sampled everything.

LeBRAIN WEEK (day 3)

Tune in ALL WEEK to the Craig Fee Show on 107.5 Dave FM, at 4 pm!! It’s LeBRAIN WEEK all week!

Today’s 4-play:

  1. Bon Jovi – Runaway
  2. The Rolling Stones – Emotional Rescue
  3. Kiss – Magic Touch
  4. The Darkness – I Believe In A Thing Called Love

ANSWER:  All songs featuring falsetto vocals!

Notes:  I have never heard Magic Touch on the radio before today!

REVIEW: Led Zeppelin – self-titled box set (1990)

LED ZEPPELIN – self-titled box set (1990, retail price approx $60 CAD at press time)

It was the fall of 1990, and I was on the verge of graduating highschool and entering the “real” world. However, my musical development was way far behind — everybody’s was, in 1990. Poison, Whitesnake and Motley Crue ruled the charts: All bands, one way or another, influenced by Zeppelin, by the way. Yet, I had avoided actually hearing a Zeppelin studio recording. MuchMusic’s endless showing of The Song Remains The Same had cooled any interest I might have had in this great band. I really didn’t like that concert, and I still don’t listen to it.

In 1990, pop rock was showing its first signs of death and I was becoming interested in bluesier, more authetic sounds. I was beginning to listen to FM radio and I heard a song called “Travelling Riverside Blues”. The slide guitar was eloquent and infectious. Immediately, I wondered what I was missing.

A friend, Danesh, who also had never owned a Zeppelin album in his life, picked up the box set released that fall. I asked him how it was. Cryptically, he responded, “It’s good.” It went on my Christmas list and I anxiously opened it on December 25, 1990.

I didn’t get to start plowing through the thing until the next day, after the turkey and Christmas guests were gone.  On the 26th, I woke up early.  I read the liner notes and I listened to the whole thing in one marathon almost-5-hour-session. Today, this is the running order that I associate these Zeppelin songs in, not the original studio album order.  I listened to the box set in these marathon sessions 3 times during the Christmas break!

This was actually the first box set I ever owned.  Not too many bands I liked had one, back then.  In fact I think the only other box on the market at the time that even slightly interested was The Ultimate by Tommy Bolin.

I loved the cover art.  I was obsessed with the crop circle phenomenon.  I bought a T-shirt with this design on it a few weeks later.  upon seeing the cover, my friend and fellow Zeppelin fan Andreas said “Figures, Zeppelin created everything else in rock, why not crop circles too?”

For the record, this is still no substitute for owning all the Zeppelin studio albums. They have a life all their own. However, Jimmy Page carefully assembled this running order to breathe new life into these tracks, and breathe they do.

I can’t imagine a better opener than “Whole Lotta Love”. It is a one-two punch followed by “Heartbreaker”, and then “Communication Breakdown” takes things to an out-of-control pace. Geniously, Page followed this with “Babe I’m Gonna Leave You”.  Total switch of pace, and another brilliant side to the band.  But yet even on this, Plant refused to tame down his vocals, straining at the leash to let hell loose.  I was hooked. I couldn’t even fathom a set of songs better than these. Better late than never, right?

I was entranced by the swirling “Kashmir”, a song I will never tire from.  I could not believe the power of “What Is and What Should Never Be”.  The Rush-like complexity of “Achilles Last Stand”.  The tender acoustics of “Going to California”.  The muddy, churning synth of “In The Evening”.  The dark, foreboding blues of “When the Levee Breaks”.  The fun, upbeat reggae of “D’Yer Mak’er” (still don’t really know what that means).  The tropical heat of “Fool In the Rain”.  The ominous “No Quarter”.  Song after song, hour after hour, Led Zeppelin continued to reveal new layers of this band to me.

The only songs that I didn’t care much for, and still consider also-rans, are a lot of the tracks from Coda, their posthumous outtakes release.  I felt stuff like the punk rock of “Wearing and Tearing” and the folky “Poor Tom” were not as great as the A-listers.  While they are not without their merits, I don’t believe that today they can stand up against “The Immigrant Song” or “Tangerine”.

We kids didn’t really get the lyrics, or why Robert was singing about wearing flowers in your hair.  We found the lyrics amusing, quaint.

Today I own all the individual Zeppelin albums in box set form (The Complete Studio Recordings), but I still listen to this box and its sequel, 1993’s Box Set 2. When I have 5 hours at home, this is the way I prefer to go. This box set creates a journey. Each disc is a journey with a distinct opening and a distinct end, but the entire running order is like that as well.   There are distinct sections, moods, and movements in the box set.  Witness “All My Love” as the final track. I couldn’t imagine a better way to end a five hour journey than that hopeful fade out.

Then Bonzo died and the hope was gone.

Interestingly, even though the unreleased/rare tracks here were later reissued on the Complete Studio Recordings (they were “Traveling Riverside Blues”, “White Summer/Black Mountainside”, and “Hey Hey What Can I Do”), one slipped through the cracks and to the best of my knowledge is only available on this set:  Moby Dick/Bonzo’s Montreaux”, an interesting remix (today we would call this a “mash-up”) of Bonzo’s two drum solos intertwined.  It is not on the Complete Studio box. It’s not because it’s inferior or redundant, in my opinion. Jimmy lovingly put this track together as a tribute to his friend 10 years after his death, and it works brilliantly.  It neither replaces the originals, nor gets in their way, because it’s more a cool showcase of Pagey’s mixing skill, if you asked me.

10 years gone? It was hard for me to believe that Zeppelin had been gone for only 10 years at that time. It seemed to me like they were part of pre-history, something that predated everything I’d known. Yet all the bands I knew cited Zeppelin as an influence, from Kiss on down to the newest groups, like Cinderella (who worked with John Paul Jones). They were a part of my rock and roll soul without me even knowing it. Hearing this box for the first time was like discovering a part of myself!

Liner notes are excellent, and until reading The Hammer of the Gods, was pretty much my sole source of Led Zeppelin information and photographs.   They are ample, and include an essay by Cameron Crowe.

Interestingly, even though this set has theoretically been supplanted by newer, superior sounding collections, it remains in print and reasonably priced.  There must be something to it, I guess!

5/5 stars

LeBRAIN WEEK (Day 2)

Tune in ALL WEEK to the Craig Fee Show on 107.5 Dave FM, at 4 pm!!   It’s LeBRAIN WEEK all week!

Today’s 4-play:

  1. Deep Purple – Smoke on the Water
  2. Rainbow – Stone Cold
  3. Bon Jovi – Livin’ on a Prayer
  4. Journey – Separate Ways

Answer: All five piece bands (on these recordings, anyway) of the v/g/b/d/k configuration! 

Incidentally, two of those bands spent some time as four pieces. 

 Bon Jovi has been a four piece since 1994 when original bassist Alec John Such left.  He was unofficially replaced by Hugh McDonald, but McDonald remains a side musician even after 18 years with the band!  Journey was a four piece for a short while, on the second and third albums.  CAN YOU OUT-BRAIN LeBRAIN?

Part 26: You Wanted the Best, You Got the Best…

My Amazon reviewing buddy Tommy Morais suggested that we talk a bit about 80’s Kiss.  And why not?  I think 80’s Kiss is an under appreciated era.  Sure, some of those albums are under par.  But some of those albums are also among the best that Kiss have ever done.

It’s a good suggestion, so I’ll go with it.  Here ya go, Tommy.  80’s Kiss.  My take. In the order I got heard the music.

80’s KISS

I grew up in the 80’s.  While I knew “Rock and Roll All Nite”, my real introduction to Kiss was essentially “Heaven’s On Fire” and “Thrill’s in the Night”.  I saw the videos on Much and was surprised to discover that Kiss were not wearing makeup anymore.  And the songs were rocking and good.  Later on, a buddy brought over Lick It Up, and played, “And On The 8th Day”.  I said, “That doesn’t sound like the same guy singing,” and they said it wasn’t; they explained it was Gene Simmons (the scary looking one).

I was curious and started taping the music videos. 

Asylum (1985)

This wasn’t my first Kiss album, but it was my first 80’s Kiss album.  I had already acquired Hotter Than Hell and Alive (See Part 3: My First Kiss.)

My dad bought it for me at HiWay Market, in Kitchener, where the Zehrs is now.  It didn’t come with lyrics so I had to try and figure out what they were singing, a task I found very difficult. 

I knew “Tears Are Falling” already from the video, and very quickly my next favourite song became “Uh! All Night”.  I thought that the title was embarassingly bad even then, but the riff was so damn catchy.  Much to my surprise, “Uh! All Night” became the next video, loaded with girls.  I had no problem with that.  My next favourite song, “Who Wants to Be Lonely” became the next video.  I realized I had a knack for predicting the next Kiss singles, something I did without fail for the next three albums in a row.

The other two strongest songs on this album are Paul’s “King of the Mountain”, with Eric Carr’s thunderous drum intro, and Gene’s “Secretly Cruel”.  The rest of the songs are in my opinion pretty much filler, although “Radar for Love” isn’t bad.

Animalize (1984)

I taped Animalize off George, next door.  I taped it on a crappy 120 minute Scotch, it was all I had.  It sounded awful, and I think that might be part of the reason why I consider Animalize to be Kiss’ weakest. 

I love the two singles, “Heaven’s on Fire”, and especially “Thrills in the Night”.  My next favourite song is “Get All You Can Take”.  (I had no idea as a kid that the chorus went, “What fucking difference does it make?”  Like I said, I couldn’t really make out Kiss lyrics that well, and I had no lyric sheets.)  I think the rest of the album is very weak, especially when it comes to Gene songs.  “Let me put my log in your fireplace.”  Yow!

Lick It Up (1983)

This was the next 80’s Kiss album I acquired, on cassette, for Christmas of 1985.  My parents bought me a brand new duel tape deck, a Sanyo, and this was the first thing played in it.  I loved Lick It Up.  By now, I knew a lot of these songs from the Kiss Animalize Live Uncensored home video that I taped off George.  Yes this was my first time hearing the studio versions of “Young and Wasted” and “Fits Like A Glove”.   I quickly grew to love “Dance All Over Your Face” and of course “And On The 8th Day”.  Unlike the previous two 80’s Kiss albums, this one was loaded with excellent Gene material.  Finally, I grew to love two Paul songs:  “Exciter” and “A Million To One”.  Only the filler song “Gimme More” really fails to excite me today.

Lick It Up is the first Kiss album featuring their bare faces, played up by Kiss appearing on the front cover in just their every day street clothes of jeans and jackets.  The guitars are performed by Vinnie Vincent, a brilliant player.  When Vinnie is restrained, like he was with Kiss, his tones and solos are absolutely stunning and perfect.  When left to his own devices, he comes up with stuff like Vinnie Vincent Invasion.

This is, to me, tied for best Kiss album of the 80’s.  It is tied with.,.

Creatures of the Night (1982)

I taped this one off George as well.  It swiftly became a favourite.  Chock full of solid rockers, I swiftly found myself drawn to “War Machine” and “Rock and Roll Hell”, both angry and rebellious Gene songs.  There are really no weak tracks off this one.  I think “I Love It Loud” gets pretty boring after a while, but it’s still a classic Kiss song.  The drum sound on the original mix of this album is insane.  If you have the CD with the non-makeup cover, then you have a remixed version.  The drums are toned down.  The original is the superior version, and the one to own (if you only own one.  I don’t, I have both).

Although Ace Frehley was on the original album cover and in the video, we all knew that Ace was essentially out of the band by this time and didn’t play on Creatures. 

Unmasked (1980)

This, the second of the “Kissco” albums, is not particularly one of my favourites.  Even as kids, we found it pretty poppy, with not enough rock and roll.  We liked “Is That You?”, “Talk To Me”, and “Torpedo Girl”, but we found the rest of the album to be incredibly weak.  Much like Creatures, we knew that Peter Criss did not play on Unmasked, even though he was in the video.  The drums are ably performed by Anton Fig, who had previously played on Ace Frehley and Dynasty.

I loved the cover.  I know Gene and Paul don’t think much of the cover now, but you have to get this one on vinyl.  Playing off their comic book excesses, the cover are panels from a comic book, involving Kiss finally unmasking.  (Get it?)  And then they remove their masks, only to reveal that underneath, they still look exactly the same!  Which played into the face that although fans were begging to see Kiss’ faces, they weren’t going to take off the makeup just yet.

Music From “The Elder” (1981)

As the Kiss collection started to complete itself, I realized I eventually needed The Elder.  George dutifully taped Bob and I both copies.  He wrote the titles on virtually illegibly, and we ended up phoning him to ask him what the hell the songs were called!  “George, what does this say?  ‘Escape from the Ish’?  What is that?!”  And why did he write the album title as Music From?

George straightened us out, it was a concept album and that was the title on the actual cover.  “Escape From the Island” was an Ace Frehley instrumental and one of the only songs we liked.  We found the album pretty weak, but there were songs we kept coming back to, such as “The Oath”.  It was a pretty weird sounding album, then and now.  I mean, not too many three chord rock bands make ambitious concept albums, and the result is a blocky, awkward but intriguing mess of songs.  Yet I love this album!  Weird, eh?  Hated it then, though!

Incidentally, if you owned this album, and the concept made no sense, there’s a possible reason:  On the original American releases, the songs are in the wrong order.  The record company felt you needed to start with a rocker like “The Oath”, but the “correct” tracklisting (now available remastered) has “Fanfare” and “Just A Boy” as the start of the story.

Killers (1982)

Bob brought this German LP with the backwards “KIZZ” logo back with him from his summer vacation in 1986.  He returned with Killers and Alive II, which I recorded from him.  I eventually bought his copy of Killers, so this very copy I’m talking about is the one I own today.

Killers was a Europeans hits disc, pink cover, with the band in their Elder-era outfits, headbands andf ponytails.  However it represents a return to the rocking Kiss sounds of old, as it contained four new songs, all sung by Paul:  “I’m a Legend Tonight” (love it!), “Partners In Crime” (meh), “Nowhere To Run” (fave!), and “Down On Your Knees” (pretty decent uptempo Paul rocker). 

Bob and I especially loved “I’m A Legend Tonight”, but “Nowhere To Run” became a close second, and eventually overtook it. 

As a compilation, it’s a good one.  It has all the hits, including the live version of “Rock N’ Roll All Nite” from Alive!  The CD I have is from Japan, and has two extra songs not on the European one:  “Shandi” and “Escape From The Island”, which was edited off their version of The Elder.

 

Crazy Nights (1987)

For the first time, there was a two-year gap between Kiss albums.  Crazy Nights was a unique album experience for me.  It was the first time I had waited patiently for a Kiss album.  Asylum, which had come out in 1985, was already out when I first started seriously getting into Kiss.  George kept me up to date on all the Kiss news.  That summer, he told me that the album title was Crazy Nights, and that Paul had been writing on keyboards.  Keyboards, in Kiss?

The day the album came out, George got it on LP, and I recorded it as usual.  We listened to it at his place.  I wasn’t sure what to think.  These were all new songs and it didn’t really sound great.  The title track and first single was a lot more pop, we noticed.  Some of the Gene songs were just awful, and some Paul songs, not better.  “I’ll Fight Hell To Hold You” is one that I felt never sounded quite right. 

Little did I know as a fan that Gene Simmons had pretty much clocked out by this time.  He had gone Hollywood and Paul was steering the ship.  As a result, Crazy Nights is pretty Paul heavy, with only a couple decent Gene songs.  “Good Girl Gone Bad” is the best one, a slow burner about a young girl that Gene claims is the “best love I ever had”.  “No No No” is…well, I won’t go as far as to call it a good song, but it was one of the few fast rockers, and featured a smoking hot solo from Bruce.

Once again I predicted the next single, the ballad “Reason To Live”.  Ballads were huge at the time, but that one was not.  It failed to rocket up the charts, maybe because it was too light.  Too many keyboards.  Paul was no longer playing his guitar in videos, he was just wearing it.  This bugged me to no end.  It really, really bugged me.  Not to mention Kiss’ new outfits were anything but cool. 

For the first time, there was a third video, the much better “Turn On The Night”, a Bon Jovi-esque pop rocker with a very catchy chorus and Bruce solo.  Paul wore his guitar again in the video, but at least it was a rocker.  And my favourite song on the album.

Smashes, Thrashes & Hits (1988)

Rumours of breakup swirled in 1988, after the less-than-successful Crazy Nights tour and album.  I hoped and prayed for Kiss to return to rock.  Then, Gene Simmons co-hosted the Pepsi Power Hour in 1988.  He talked mostly about his new label, Simmons Records.  He was promoting his first two singings:  A “funk-urban” singer name Laz Netto (sp?) and a rock band from the ashes of Giuffria and Quiet Riot called House of Lords.  This worried me.  Clearly, Gene’s focus was not on Kiss.

He also announced the forthcoming release of a new hits album called Smashes, Thrashes & Hits.  It was to feature two new songs produced by Paul Stanley, he said, “You Put the X in Sex” (sic), and “(You Make Me) Rock Hard”.  He also said there was to be a new version of Beth, with Eric Carr singing.  At the time, to me, this didn’t bother me as a concept.  I liked Eric’s voice, but he had never sung lead on an album before, so this should be cool.  Unfortunately, Eric put no rasp in his voice, which I think sank his version.

As for the two new singles/videos?  Not only was “Let’s Put the X in Sex” pure pop again, but Paul wasn’t even wearing his guitar in the video!  He was just…dancing!  Dancing!!  “Rock Hard” was a better song, but once again, Paul was dancing.  And Gene?  He was completely clocked out.  Not only did he look like a transvestite, but he couldn’t even lip sync the lyrics correctly.  Watch the video.  Check it out.  At around 1:50, the lyric, “You turn me ’round”.  You can clearly see Gene mouth the words as “You turn me up”.  You doesn’t even know the words to the damn song, he was so clocked out at that point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQj1LuY5b8M

Hot In The Shade (1989)

Paul did a brief solo tour with Bob Kulick and Eric Singer, and promised Kiss would be back later that year with a new album.  Paul’s promise was true, and in the fall I sat and watched the new Kiss video, “Hide Your Heart”.  I hoped it would not suck.

It didn’t!

Paul was playing a guitar again!  And it wasn’t some candy-coloured modern guitar, it was a vintage one.  The song was catchy with a good chorus, but was not overtly pop.  The video wasn’t about hot girls anymore, but had a story to it.  Perfect!  Kiss had finally started to catch up with where I thought they should have been going.

I picked up the album on cassette in Pickering, Ontario while on school field trip to the nuclear plant, of all things.  We stopped at a mall for lunch, and I picked it up at an A&A.  It was long and it took a while to absorb, but I immediately loved the pedal steel solo that opened the album.  That’s what I’m talking about!  It might not have been anything vintage Kiss would have done, but at least it was about the roots of rock again, not keyboards and ballads.

Once again I predicted the singles:  “Forever”, the acoustic ballad, was a great song with yet another killer Bruce solo.   You had to have at least one ballad back then, and Kiss gave us just one out of the 15 songs.  And it was an acoustic ballad, not a keyboard one.  Bonus.

The third and final and most confusing single was “Rise To It”.  Confusing because Gene and Paul put the makeup back on in the video.   In a flashback scene, Paul and Gene sit in a dressing room putting on their makeup, discussing the future of the band.  Could they survive without makeup?  Paul says yes, Gene says he’s nut.  Eric and Bruce, backs turned to the camera, “play” Ace and Peter.  Flash to the present day, Kiss kicking ass without makeup at a live show, then back to the dressing room.  “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Gene concedes, as they walk out together, fully suited up.

What were they trying to tell us?

It is known now that Kiss were attempting to woo Ace back into the band.  It would be a return to makeup, and the Elder lineup of Stanley/Simmons/Carr/Frehley for a tour.  For the first time, Kiss did not tour to support the album when it was released, but waited until 1990.  By then, the album had petered out, and Ace had declined.  The co-headlining tour with Whitesnake culminated in a disasterours show in Toronto where Paul trashed Whitesnake to the crowd for not letting Kiss use their full stage gear.  The crowd in turn booed Whitesnake, the first time, according to Steve Vai, he had ever been booed on stage.  He had walked onto the stage in front of a crowd cheering, “Yngwie, Yngwie, Yngwie…”, but had never been booed, until Paul trashed Whitesnake on stage.  Kiss did return later that year with their full Sphynx stage show.

Anyway, that was the 90’s.  As far as the 80’s ended, I thought and still think that Hot In the Shade was a step back in the right direction.  At 15 songs, it was too bogged down with filler, and I don’t think it sounded that great.  I never liked Bruce’s guitar sound on it, I felt it was unappealling.  I liked that Eric Carr had a proper lead vocal on his own song (“Little Caesar”) and I liked that the album ended with a seriously heavy rocker, Gene’s thrash-like “Boomerang”.  I was no longer embarassed by the band.

When they would finally return again in the 90’s, they had lost Eric Carr.  But they had also righted the good ship Kiss, with the excellent Revenge. 

But that, dear friends, is another story….