GETTING MORE TALE #537.3: 2016 Can Suck Balls Year End Lists, Part 3 – LeBrain
Regardless of the music, 2016 will go down in history (for most of us) for just one notorious reason: The sheer number of stars that we lost, both young and old. Even after I had completed a list of the most significant pop culture deaths in 2016, I had to add even more names: Debbie Reynolds, and Carrie Fisher. Princess Leia was one of my first heroes. I was five years old. Carrie was an incredible woman, who lived a hard life and came out laughing.
Perspective.
But we’ll save the deaths for last.
Ever since the Record Store days, I have always done my albums as a Top Five. We had a newsletter and employees were asked to submit their Top Fives of the year. That being the case, I’ve always stuck with that tradition even when my compatriots have submitted some pretty awesome Top Tens.
You can check out the submitted Top Ten lists here:
Some extras! The TV shows below are the only ones I bother with. If you haven’t watched American Dad yet, after all my badgering, I don’t know what else I can say about the funniest show on TV!
Actually I do — American Dad has the best musical jokes. You will hear plenty of great tunes: Metallica, The Sword, Stan Bush, Satriani, Rush, Queen, and many more. And even the songs you don’t like (Owl City, Kelly Clarkson?) are hilarious, because of the context. That’s what makes a musical joke work. You can find a complete list of songs used in American Dad by clicking here.
Top four TV shows:
4.Family Guy
3.The Grinder
2.The Walking Dead
1.American Dad
Dropping off the list is the Big Bang Theory which started to suck a couple years ago, a few noteworthy episodes aside (such as any time Wil Wheaton shows up).
Top Movies of 2016
Movies were…just movies. There was nothing this year with the emotional impact of The Force Awakens. The films below are not in any particular order. They are just movies, nothing more and nothing less. 2016 was a somewhat disappointing year for the silver screen. (I have not yet seen Arrival.)
And sadly, the real dead pool. These are just some of the musicians, actors, writers and sports heroes we lost in the year of 2016. Many went way too young. At the 11th hour, I received this sketch of Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia. It was drawn by Wardy who you may know as regular reader here. Thank you Wardy for sending and giving me permission to post this great sketch. (Wardy is one talented guy with a pencil.) Rest in peace to all below.
Paul MacLeod
David Bowie
Prince
Alan Rickman
George Michael
Rick Parfitt
Ralph “Chick” Schumilas
John Glenn
Muhammad Ali
Florence Henderson
Gene Wilder
Arnold Palmer
Leonard Cohen
Dave Broadfoot
Glenn Frey
Gordie Howe
Harper Lee
Phife Dawg
Sir George Martin
Anton Yelchin
Garry Shandling
Christina Grimmie
Alan Thicke
Kenny Baker
Leon Russell
Merle Haggard
Paul Kantner
Jimmy Bain
John McLaughlin
Abe Vigoda
Chyna
Pat Harrington Jr.
Keith Emerson
Greg Lake
David Huddleston
Maurice White
George Kennedy
Rob Ford
Ralph Stanley
George Gaynes
Alan Young
Frank Sinatra Jr.
Lonnie Mack
Nick Menza
Prince Be
Bernie Worrell
Matt Roberts
Mr. Fuji
Alexis Arquette
Stanley “Buckwheat” Dural Jr.
Jose Fernandez
Jean Shepard
Pete Burns
Robert Vaughn
Bobby Vee
Leonard Haze
James Wooley
Sandy Pearlman
John Berry
John Thomas
Dale “Buffin” Griffin
Carrie Fisher
Debbie Reynolds
Rest in peace, and thank you for making our days a little brighter.
Please welcome — for the first time ever! — a guest shot fromJ from Resurrection Songs! Please welcome J with his Top Albums list of 2016.
GETTING MORE TALE #537.2: 2016 Can Suck Balls Year End Lists, Part 2 – J from Resurrection Songs
It’s been a right strange year. A right grim one if you consider the musical losses, not to mention the political shenanigans. Soon we’ll be populating a post-apocalyptic world. Hopefully more Mad Max than The Road. For some of us, at least. Soundtracked, it’s a year that I’ve been discovering more older releases than newer releases thanks to the writings and recommendations of fellow bloggers. However, there have been a fair few new releases that I have really enjoyed and I figured I’d hang out at Ladano’s place and say “here’s my top ten albums”.
The following are without a doubt my favourites of the year. These are the albums that grabbed my attention beyond the first side. That continue to pull me in. I am a man immersed in all their sonic awesomeness as I slip deeper and deeper into their grooves.
10. Gojira – Magma 9. The Tragically Hip – Man Machine Poem 8. The Cult – Hidden City 7. Black Mountain – IV 6. Sturgil Simpson – A Sailor’s Guide to Earth 5. Causa Sui – Return To Sky 4. Radiohead – A Moon Shaped Pool 3. The Claypool Lennon Delirium – Monolith of Phobos 2. Iggy Pop – Post Pop Depression 1. My Jerusalem – A Little Death
Note: Lists are tough, but the top five were particularly tough to separate (all stellar in my opinion). Also, I need to spend a bit more time with Bowie’s Blackstar, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds’ Skeleton Tree, case/lang/viers, and, of course, pick up the latest Leonard release now it’s available on vinyl.
Welcome to the first of many year-end lists here at mikeladano.com! I’ve decided to call this series“2016 Can Suck Balls“. We will discuss the celebrity deaths that plagued this year on my own list, but first up to bat is the man the myth the legend — Dr. Dave Haslam. His heavier-than-fuck lists always generate a lot of interest, so Dave’s going first!
Please welcome Dr. Dave with his Top Albums list of 2016.
GETTING MORE TALE #537.1: 2016 Can Suck Balls Year End Lists, Part 1 – Dr. Dave Haslam
Well, it was an…interesting…year. The deaths came fast and furious, and the tail end of the year for me went from the sublime (Cubs win!) to the ridiculous (Trump wins!).
It will be fun watching the dumpster fire that is the United States over the next year, and perhaps a few of these tunes will serve as a compelling soundtrack for that.
10.A 3-way tie between Opeth – Sorceress, Winterfylleth – The Dark Hereafter, and Nails – You Will Never Be One Of Us.
Why a three way tie? Because “Top Tens” are an arbitrary convention. I understand that we use the decimal system on this planet, but we’re talking music here, not distance, or measurement, or even the weight of your momma. Opeth was certainly phenomenal live, and there are parts of Sorceress (particularly the title track) that I love, but there is a lot of fluff on this album, a lot of acoustic bits that just didn’t grab me. If even 75% of it was of the calibre of the title track then it would easily be my #1 album. As it is, it merely shares a tie with Winterfylleth, who are awesome, but released an album that was pretty meagre compared to their recent efforts, and Nails, a band I probably wouldn’t even like that much except that the pure, unhinged fury of You Will Never Be One Of Us pretty much encapsulates my reaction to the election of Cheeto Mussolini by our terminally stunned neighbors to the south. Check out the title track (hmm, I see a theme here) if you want the most succinct example of unbridled aggression released this year.
9. Deathspell Omega – The Synarchy of Molten Bones
So Spellcheck flags “synarchy” as a spelling mistake, which casts a poor light on Spellcheck’s recognition of obscure political terms. And, now that I notice it, Spellcheck also considers “Spellcheck’s” (the possessive form of the noun Spellcheck) as a spelling error as well. What is my takeaway from this? That Spellcheck doesn’t like being talked about, or having particular qualities or characteristics ascribed to it. Well fuck you too, Spellcheck. I don’t even need you, so blow me.
Anywho, this is a half-hour long EP, and it sure isn’t Drought, an EP from 2012 which demonstrated new levels of variety and composition from these devout French Satanists. Instead, this returns to their classic sound: eerie, frenetic, bewildering, and very very fucking evil. There’s a reason why these guys don’t do gigs – it would probably be impossible to do this live. I can only chuckle at the thought that the U.S. Army uses Metallica or some other mainstream band to torture Muslim detainees when they could be using this instead. Then again, maybe that’s for the best. This music would likely have Navy SEALs shitting their undies.
Sample only if you’ve given up on sanity as a “life goal.”
8. Meshuggah – The Violent Sleep of Reason
Recorded together live in the studio, this album has a more organic sound than any of their more recent releases. If you know them, then you know what to expect. They are a consistent, well-oiled machine, and there are few surprises or major deviations here. The song that really hooked me is “MonstroCity” (cool title, bro), which has a lurching, idiot-man-child-on-meth kind of funk to it – my favorite tune on the album. This album almost didn’t make the list, as my ability to truly appreciate Meshuggah depends on my mood; however, since I have been in a “smash-shit-up” kind of mood lately, here it is.
7. Devin Townsend – Transcendence
This fucking guy. Devy likely won’t get his proper due until years from now, but now is the time to get on board, if you haven’t already. Is it my favorite release of his? No (I’m looking at you, Ocean Machine). But when you can be as heavy as Devy can, and be as melodically lush and compelling, then you are as far past the run of the mill as it gets. As Rush rides into the sunset (did I mention that 2016 was a very trying year?), Devin Townsend is the Canuck that will pick up that torch and run with it. Time to recognize this national treasure while he’s still alive. Give “Failure” a listen and disagree. I dare you.
6. Dunsmuir – Dunsmuir
My love for Neil Fallon (and Clutch) is hardly a secret. He is the hard-rock equivalent of Tom Waits, but that comparison fails once I realize that Fallon’s tales and subject matter are even more compelling to a freak like me than Waits’. The band behind him soars, snarls, and grooves in a way that sharts on much of what we consider “classic metal.” This is why Vinny Appice replaced Bill Ward in Black Sabbath, and why Tim Sult can access limitless possibilities at the blusier end of heavy guitar. “Crawling Chaos” should give you a good idea.
5. Alcest – Kodama
A fine return to form from the French pioneers of blackgaze (black metal + shoegaze). Unlike last album Shelter, this one has bite to it, adding much appreciated energy to their lushly melodic soundscapes. With clean vocals and blackish wails, blast beats and proggier grooves, Kodama is an almost perfect balance of their disparate influences. Yes, this requires patience, and it is designed to be atmospheric rather than fist-pumping. Go to bed, turn out the lights, spark one up, and listen to this at volume on good-quality headphones. Immerse yourself. “Oiseaux de Proie” should serve nicely as an introduction.
4. Gojira – Magma
A third French band on my list? Tabernac! This one’s a grower, not a shower. This is a pretty new band for me, and I’m sure getting on the Gojira train at Magma station is like not getting into Mastodon until Once More Round the Sun or The Hunter (“Dude, like, haven’t you heard their early stuff? It kicks this album’s ass, man!”). Yeah, fine, whatever. That doesn’t change the fact that this album has a certain something that I can’t quite put my finger on. While they might have kicked your ass in a more aggressive and complicated fashion a few years ago, they’ve allowed some restraint and melody into their sound, and it has paid off in a big way. “Stranded” is what sold it for me, starting with a Meshuggah-esque riff overtop a deep but spacious groove, which then morphs into a simple bridge riff that is as cool as it is accessible, until the three and a half minute mark, when the real earworm of the song kicks in. Composition might be a four-syllable word, but it’s certainly not a four-letter word. Sometimes simplicity really is the closest step towards genius.
3. Deftones – Gore
I’ll save my rant about how unfair it is to lump these guys into the nu-metal category alongside vastly inferior bands like Korn and Chimp Trisket for a later time. Suffice it to say that this album rewards multiple listens. The story is that guitarist Stephen Carpenter had thoughts about stepping away from the recording of Gore because of how atmospheric and subtle the ideas were compared to their earlier albums. And it’s good that he didn’t, because there is still plenty of succulent riffage here. Chino Moreno is still a very versatile vocalist, going from a whisper to a scream to a croon in no time, and the rhythm section is always tasty and totally underrated. “Pittura Infamante” is probably the best example of how this band has grown – although each of their last three or four albums are totally wicked. This song resembles Gojira’s “Stranded” in that it shows how deceptive simplicity can be the secret weapon that veteran bands use to economize their songs for maximum appeal while still maintaining their true identity. And watch out for one of the riffs of the year at about the 2:25 minute mark. Wow. Then again, listen to “Hearts/Wires” for a more relaxed version of this album. Or the first track. Oh fuck it. It’s all amazing.
2. If These Trees Could Talk – The Bones of a Dying World
I had no idea that these post-rock alchemists got signed by Metal Blade, and I knew nothing about this album’s existence until I randomly came across it at Encore Records, which is where I had to special order their two previous albums about a year ago. This is textbook post-rock, and if you are confused by that particular genre designation then listen to “The Giving Tree.” It’s less spacey and discordant than Mogwai, less stoner-rock than Pelican, and much more immediate than Godspeed! You Black Emperor. There are a lot of layers, textures, and dynamics to be explored with three (3) guitarists, and ITTCT indulge that potential without it all turning into a sprawling, unfocused mess. I get a Steve Rothery vibe from “The Giving Tree,” although it is quite a bit heavier than you would expect from the heart and soul of Marillion. I’m glad that music like this exists. Sometimes you just don’t need a vocalist to get to the real heart of the matter.
1. Abbath – Abbath
After an acrimonious split with his Immortal bandmates, Abbath made the best Immortal album since 2000’s stone-cold classic Sons of Northern Darkness (one of the best heavy metal albums of the past 30 years, by the way), albeit under his own moniker and with a different rhythm section. And that rhythm section kicks massive ass, driving the kind of militant and triumphant anthems that will inspire you to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women on some frosty tundra where glaciers loom and wolves lie in waiting to feast upon the bodies of the vanquished. It doesn’t get more metal than this. Like Slayer, Abbath knows that downshifting to mid-tempo is where the truly heavy and epic begins, and “Winterbane” is a perfect example of this. Merry Christmas, motherfuckers.
Close but no cigar: Metallica – Hardwired…To Self-Destruct (good, but too much meh); Russian Circles (haven’t heard it enough); Khemmis (so close…); SubRosa – For This We Fought the Battle of Ages (not as good as More Constant Than The Gods); Inquisition – Bloodshed Across the Empyrean Alter beyond the Celestial Zenith (crazy title, great black metal album).
My main obsession in 2016 that does not involve a particular album released in 2016:
Live MGLA – I’ve spent most of my YouTube time in the past year listening to and watching this Polish black metal band slay audiences and perfect heavy metal with an aggressive yet understated style that simply beggars comparison. This is THE SHIT. The drummer is unbelievable, the riffs are unimpeachable, and the compositions are incredible if you consider that hypnotism is just as valuable as anything “showy” or “obvious.” This gets me hard more than anything else in the universe right now. No grandstanding, no histrionics, no drama, no “image,” no trying too hard. This is simply perfect heavy metal. For a short, two-song sampler, check out “Brutal Assault 21 – Mgla (live) 2016”. Or for a boringly- filmed but excellent-sounding full gig, check out “MGLA – Live at Dark Easter Metal Meeting 2016 – Full Show” on YouTube.
This Christmas has been tinged with sadness. Rick Parfitt, George Michael…and a man you haven’t heard of named Peter Cavan Sr. I grew up with his son Peter Cavan Jr. Pete was the best man at my wedding, and his dad Peter Sr. always treated me well. The Cavans made me feel like part of the family. In my first year of university, I decided to stay home from the cottage on Thanksgiving weekend, so I could study for my first exam undistracted. Alone that Thanksgiving, Pete’s family had me over for dinner. I’ll never forget their kindness. I always enjoyed Peter Sr.’s stories, of growing up in Germany during the Second World War. Those are tales you don’t hear every day. And he was funny. Peter Sr. was truly funny. Whether intentionally or not, I knew his stories entertained us for many hours over the years. I received the sad message on Christmas morning that Peter Sr. passed after a short battle with cancer, peacefully at home that morning.
So it is with profound sadness that I give you this year’s annual post-Christmas commentary. My entire family knows and loves the Cavans, and we hope Pete and Joanne know we are there for them.
As it does every year, Christmas began early for me, at our office Christmas luncheon on November 25. Just look at that food. When you like the people you work with, an office Christmas party is a very rare and special chance to unwind with them.
My sister hosted Christmas Eve at her new place. What a spread she put out! Cheesey good appetizers, steak fondue, cheese fondue (the surprise winner), and chocolate fondue to boot. The guests had a spirited debate on the merits of CD versus vinyl, with myself being the only holdout who still prefers CD. (I know I’m not alone, just ask rock journalist Mitch Lafon which format he prefers.) My sister did a great job of decorating her tree. Have a gander.
And now, on to the good stuff. Broken down into categories, let’s give’r!
Stuff You Listen To:
I have only played the Rik Emmett so far, given to me by Mrs. LeBrain who met Rik back in highschool as part of her guitar class. Pretty cool! It features a Triumph reunion on the bonus track, “Grand Parade”. The Queen set is six discs of radio recordings. The Rush set I am both grateful for and bitter about. This is the third time I’ve received Rush 2112 as a gift in the last five years! First as part of the Sector 1 box set, then the “deluxe edition“, and now this 40th anniversary edition which has some tracks not included on the deluxe (and a slew of artists covering Rush including Jacob Moon, Alice in Chains and Foo Fighters). However, the 40th anniversary edition doesn’t include the 5.1 surround mix of the album, meaning…you kinda need both. It’s sad that Rush reissues have become so exploitive.
The Keel reissue of The Right to Rock has a bonus track, a remix of “Easier Said Than Done”. And this is my first time owning any version of Jethro Tull’s first album, This Was.
Stuff You Read:
Stuff You Play With:
The Force Is With This Stuff:
Stuff You Watch:
The Sopranos set I orchestrated myself. Sometimes-contributor Thussy and I both always said: “If the blu-ray set drops below $100, we’ll buy it.” A few weeks ago he texted me that Amazon has it on for 24 hours only at just $80! So this Christmas holiday, we will be enjoying some Sopranos and Italian food.
Stuff That Transforms From Stuff Into Robots:
Pictured below are the official Transformers Titans Return Astrotrain figure and a couple very interesting third party figs. These are Masterpiece scale and heavy as fuck with plenty of die-cast parts. Please meet Generation 1 Decepticon Reflector, incarnated here as KFC’s Eavi Metal series “Opticlones”. Representing the Autobots is Dinobot Snarl, produced by the excellent Fans Toys in their Iron Dibots line as “Sever”. I long ran out of room for more Masterpiece figures (especially Dinobots)…but who cares.
And finally…
Stuff That Flies:
I always wanted to try flying a drone. My mom and dad surprised me with this starter drone, and is it ever a lot of fun. I can almost get it to hover! Getting it to fly in the direction I want is still a challenge. So far there are no serious injuries. Jen has a couple bruises. I think my mistake was calling her into the room when I got it into the air, rather than when I figured out how the controls worked. That was a lesson there.
That’s another Christmas for the books! I hope each and every one of you had a safe and happy holiday. As I think of my friends the Cavan family, I ask you to remember that life is short. Tell the people who matter that you love them. Let’s try and make the world a better place in 2017.
Need to do some recording, but don’t own a microphone? No problem. In a pinch, any speaker can be used as a microphone.
As kids, my best friend Bob and I recorded stuff all the time. Skits, songs, commercials, and school projects were all recorded on cassettes on a regular basis. Some of the most fun weekends we had were spent recording. And laughing, a lot.
The problem was never lack of ideas, only lack of decent equipment. As kids we had to make due with what we had, which wasn’t much compared to what can be bought cheaply and easily today. We only had one microphone. It was a Lloyds from the early 70’s, and I still have it. But there were two of us and we both needed microphones.
I don’t know how we discovered it, but it turns out, any speaker can be used as a microphone, and that’s how we did most of our childhood recordings.
I had a ghetto blaster (dual cassette) with detachable speakers. The speakers connected via a normal 3.5mm audio jacks. The deck had a microphone jack of the same size. Converting a speaker to a microphone was as simple as unplugging it, and plugging it into the microphone jack.
Every speaker has a magnet and a coil to create sound. The signal travels through the wire to the speaker coil and magnet, causing the speaker’s membrane to vibrate and create sound. It also works in reverse! By plugging it into a microphone jack, the speaker membrane vibrates by picking up sound, and then converts it into a signal.
The sound quality was more than enough for two kids with a $0 budget. It was a tad bass-heavy, but good enough for us. Any serious recording should have proper microphones, but if you’re sitting down to record for shits n’ giggles, give it a try.
“Oral Roberts and Pals” sketch recorded January 12 1988 using the “speakers as microphone” technique. From “Mike and Bob Vol II”.
Unfortunate Canadians will recall boy band b4-4 (also known as Before Four). They were a trio, had two brothers in the group, made two albums and faded away quietly.
Courtesy of former store owner (now road manager for Steve Earle) Mike Lukacs, here’s a classic quote that shoulda been in Record Store Tales:
“Back in the record store days, some people came in the store looking for these guys’ CD. One of the dudes that worked for me asked them why they wanted such garbage. ‘They are our sons’ replied the people…”
The below is a personal non-preachy discussion on living life as a Christian heavy metal fan. I’m not interested in changing anyone’s personal convictions, just telling a story. If this bothers you, press “back” now.
GETTING MORE TALE #533: Spirituality as a Heavy Metal Fan
Any fan of heavy metal music who is also a believer in the Lord above has had to come to grips with this apparently hypocrisy. How can one follow the word of God and yet listen to Ghost?
Believe In One God Do We, Satan Almighty, The Uncreator Of Heaven And Evil, And The Unvisable And The Visable, And In His Son, Begotten Of Father, By Whom All Things Shall Be Unmade, Who For Man And His Damnation, Incarnated, Rise Up From Hell, From Sitteth On The Left Hand Of His Father, From Thense He Shall Come To Judge, Out Of One Substance, With Satan, Whose Kingdom Shall Haveth No End.
I wrestled with this contradiction very early in life. As a young Catholic-raised kid discovering rock music, I wanted to make up my own mind. One of my earliest sources of music via the magic of Sunday afternoon taping sessions was my next door neighbor George. In addition to the Kiss discography, George had most of the Maiden, Priest and Ozzy catalogue either on LP or cassette. George wasn’t particularly religious, but one afternoon he did tell me, “I won’t listen to anything Satanic.” I took that to mean that Maiden, Priest and Ozzy lyrics checked out A-OK.
Many people of faith have found that their religious convictions shake and waver over the years. That period for me began in the 1990s, although I never considered myself an agnostic or an atheist. I was in the early years of my University career; that period when you think you know it all. I remember some fierce discussions around the dinner table with me loudly proclaiming that I was the only sitting authority on whatever subject had come up. My parents remember them too, as the naive younger me spouted off about whatever I read on an overhead projector. Meanwhile, I was frustrated that they didn’t seem to be giving my lecture serious enough consideration. Some dinners ended up with me storming up to my room in anger with my food unfinished.
One of my earliest courses in University was my first year introduction to Anthropology. The prof, whose name long escapes me now, was an animated character. His long hair was always tied up in a ponytail on the back of his head. He wore suits and ties to class, which most profs did not. Many (especially in the psych department) preferred socks and sandals. He told anecdotes and moved around a lot. He always kept one hand on the podium. The class noticed his storytelling sessions always proceeded with one hand firmly anchored, keeping him in a tight orbit at the front of the classroom. He was a fantastic teacher and I briefly considered a career in Anthropology before I realized it involved a great deal of travel and going out of doors.
He was most certainly an atheist, which is unsurprising considering that the first semester of the class was about primate evolution. He was fascinating, and though I never doubted the science of genetics and natural selection, he certainly proved to me that the simple 7-days 7-nights story of the Bible did not happen as simply as it was written. That could only be allegory for a sequence of events that humanity did not have words for or basic knowledge of at the time. Knowledge is cumulative. We know now that we can follow the development of life through fossils, getting older and older as we dig deeper. Things line up, make sense. He explained to us why the concept of a “missing link” is a logical fallacy.
None of this bothered me. Even though I wouldn’t consider myself a spiritual person at that age, I just assumed any God who is truly all knowing and all powerful could easily create the universe as it was, with the laws of nature, physics and all the matter inside it, via the Big Bang. It would still turn out exactly as He envisioned it to, because that’s the definition of an all powerful God. There didn’t seem to be any contradiction to me. I tried to argue this as part of an intro Philosophy course paper that I wrote the same year. I attempted to go to the quantum scale to explain things and blew it fabulously. That paper was a C-, if I recall correctly. The T.A. that marked it suggested that the quantum section should have been axed completely. (He was absolutely right!)
At the same time, I was very deeply invested in a love of heavy music, having collected at least 400 tapes at that stage. Stryper aside, none of them were Christian rock. There were plenty of masters of the dark arts, however: Alice Cooper, the Ozzman, the Sabs, Priest, Maiden and the lot. As least, that’s the way many religious folks seemed to think it was over the years. I couldn’t hear any Satanism in their lyrics. Look at the words to Sabbath’s “After Forever”:
I think it was true it was people like you that crucified Christ, I think it is sad the opinion you had was the only one voiced, Will you be so sure when your day is near, say you don’t believe? You had the chance but you turned it down, now you can’t retrieve.
Perhaps you’ll think before you say that God is dead and gone, Open your eyes, just realize that He’s the one, The only one who can save you now from all this sin and hate, Or will you still jeer at all you hear? Yes! I think it’s too late.
Because the song also has a line that goes “Would you like to see the Pope on the end of a rope – do you think he’s a fool?,” some folks are likely to get their panties in a bunch. Context in any art form is important, often true with lyrics. It’s hard to imagine Ozzy sitting there seriously worshipping Satan when he’d rather be drinking, don’t you think?
At the same time, I was collecting the albums of Savatage, and their lyrics sometimes had a clearly Christian bent. Their Streets album features a character called “D.T. Jesus” and a full-on Holy character redemption. This didn’t bother me either. It stirred warm memories of Bible stories that I learned in school. Most importantly at that time, I was learning that music lyrics are not always meant to be taken at face value. Take Poison for example. You might think that the “Unskinny Bop” might be an exercise regime. They cleverly disguised their true intention with made-up words. Ozzy isn’t singing about his belief in the undead in “Bark at the Moon”. Maybe he’s inspired by some movie he saw as a kid. Does it really even matter? It’s just a song. It’s just entertainment.
There is one instance when paying attention to the words does really matter, such as when a vulnerable youth might think “Flying High Again” sounds really fun and cool because Ozzy said so. But that is where the parents must step up. It’s not Ozzy’s responsibility, nor the state’s, to monitor what your kids are doing. Pay attention to what they are listening to and make sure you give them the straight talk on any issues that concern you. That’s what my parents did (unbeknownst to me). My mom read over the lyrics when I wasn’t home. She never had made any musical demands of her son other than “turn it down” when it was too loud.
I felt a stronger return to my faith around the time I met my wife. Our connection seemed beyond just two random people falling for each other. It seemed like two puzzle pieces coming together. Like I’d finally found the one who understands and puts up with my bizarre self, and vice versa. It’s not about thinking “I was made for loving you, and you were made me loving me,” so much as feeling it. One thing I learned from Philosophy class is that faith is not something you can prove or disprove. The definition of an omniscient and omnipotent God means He or She could create the universe we live in without leaving any trace of His/Her existence, nor any purpose we can comprehend. Maybe we’re all just chess pieces on a big chess board. You don’t know and you can never prove it one way or another, because how do you know your “proof” isn’t just another move in the chess game?
Faith means you believe something or not. I think science is pretty bang-on with how it describes how the universe behaves, and will continue to modify and reshape its theories based on what comes flying out of the next particle accelerators. It’s an exciting time to be following science, as we unlock some of the most elusive particles predicted by theory. At the same time, events in my life (far more than just meeting my wife) have made my heart lean further in the direction of faith than disbelief. I think whoever it is that created the universe did so with the laws of nature that we study today. I think that science is peering into the mind of God, as Einstein suggested. I came to these conclusions on my own; only later did I realize many got there before me.
As for lyrics about Satan even though I’m on the other guy’s side? I think it’s all about being a good person in the time you’re given on this Earth. I don’t care what you call it; that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. As long as you try to go about your life without being an asshole, sure we can be friends. For example I’d be foolish to exclude you from friendship just because we don’t share the same opinions on (delicious) olives. I’d be equally foolish to exclude you just because you have different ideas about how we all got here. I think, if anything, we’re all here to help each other. We should do that anyway, even if it’s just holding a door open for your neighbor. There are some things that some Christians consider hellfire-worthy sins that I could care less about. It was always important for me to find a balance between my spiritual beliefs and what I know to be right or wrong. I’ve encountered a few Christians who say that homosexuality in a sin. A really bad one, too. I don’t want anything to do with that statement. I know in my mind and my heart that it doesn’t matter what gender you’re attracted to. What matters is using your time on this Earth to be the best person you can be.
I like Ghost; I don’t have to sing along to their music if I’m not feeling the words. That’s free will, and I don’t think I’ll go to hell for exercising it, even though some folks have warned me that’s where I’m headed. I hope that when it comes to the important choices in life, I’ve made more of the good kind than bad. At the end of it all, that seems to be more important.
Reverend X. Much different than Catholic school. Is that a phone book?
Many rock stars claim to have seen ghosts, or had supernatural experiences. Geezer Butler from Black Sabbath and Mick Mars from Motley Crue are notable examples. A black shape that Butler saw scared him “shitless”. Ke$ha even claims she has had sex with a ghost, though that seems a little outlandish. Robby Krieger and Ray Manzarek of the Doors think they may have been contacted by the spirit of Jim Morrison. Sting thinks there is one in his house. Ace Frehley claims a ghost threw a book at him, though substance abuse may have been a factor.
Tales of spirits and hauntings go back thousands of years. As old as civilization itself are tales of the supernatural. Yet over all this time, nobody has ever captured any tangible evidence that would satisfy science that ghosts exist. This certainly does not mean ghosts do not exist. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. We are still learning much about the universe. Skeptics have good reasons to be skeptical, while others have decided to go ghost hunting for themselves. Ritchie Blackmore was well known for performing seances in his Deep Purple days and over the decades. He stated that he has contacted many spirits, and “ghosts are very real, but not in the physical sense.”
Artist’s probably very accurate impression of an actual Blackmore seance
The only experience that I simply cannot explain I have had happened when I was in grade 9 or 10. I was sleeping, it was the middle of the night. I was awaken by a shocked feeling that someone has just hit me hard in the face with an object like a pillow. Like if you wanted to prank your brother or sister awake and smacked them in the face with a pillow as hard you can in the middle of the night. I woke up with a start and there was nobody in the room, nor any object that would have hit me in the face. My pillow was under my head the whole time. Was it a ghost? All I know is that I can’t explain it.
This reminds me of an experience Mick Mars wrote of in Motley Crue’s The Dirt. Something (a ghost or an alien) seemed to shake his bed regularly. He could physically feel it, just like I could feel the pillow smacking me in the face.
One night 10 years ago, I have the opportunity to try a little ghost hunting myself. I wrote an email about it to a friend, so here are the fresh details from that night:
We were in Mississauga at a party. These two guys lived in the house and somehow the conversation got to weird stuff they’d seen. Including:
A man standing at the top of the staircase, looking down into the basement.
A child wandering around the house.
A pale woman at the front door.
All these figures were solid, not transparent, seen by more than one person, and more than once.
They also:
Heard yelling, the sounds of people falling down stairs, and someone banging on the dryer in the basement even when the house was otherwise empty.
And they saw:
Coins on the floor where there were none before.
The dryer was known to move a few feet even when unplugged, blocking a doorway in the basement.
So we turned off all the lights and went down to the basement to shoot some video on my cameraphone. We shot ten minutes of video. In the first minute, Alex dropped the camera because he was startled by seeing a face in front of him. The face was not on camera but we ran our asses off out of there. In the last minute, upon replay, we got a very strange light on camera. I can’t explain it as the room was pitch, pitch dark. Yet you can see a tiny pinpoint of light on camera, bright and distinct. And that creeped me the fuck out!
I still have it on video and can’t explain it.
I can explain it now. I reviewed that video many times. It was disappointing to reason out that there was still one obvious light source in that pitch black room. The screen of the camera phone itself had a slightly blue colour. Same colour as that pinpoint of light. It was just the reflection of the screen on the glass window of the dryer. A mundane but simple explanation. I’m sure most are.
*All due respect and inspirational credit to1537 for regularly using Lego in his artwork. I am but a mere ghost of your talent, sir.
The first record store I worked in no longer exists. It closed (moved actually) in 1996, but even the physical location it was in has gone. It was tucked away in a mall, but that unit was torn up and enlarged and made into a discount store.
That entire mall has changed completely in the last 20 years. I spent a lot of years in that mall as a kid, teen and young adult. Before the record store opened in ’91, I would mostly shop at the Zellers store. Zellers wasn’t bad. They carried 7″ singles, and that is the very store about which Record Store Tales Part 4: A Word About B-Sides was written. The fact that they even had singles made my early music collection much more interesting. Once I even spied a very rare Def Leppard promotional cassette called Soundtrack to the Video Historia. It was exactly that — a cassette version of all the songs on Leppard’s Historia home video. I assumed it would have the rare video mix of “Pour Some Sugar On Me”, and I wanted it. But they wouldn’t sell it to me, even though it appeared in their flyer that week. Whoops.
During my highschool years, the mall even had an A&A Records & Tapes. A&A closed up shop nationwide in 1990-91 (much sooner in our mall). Now Zellers is gone too (turned into a Walmart) and the grocery store Zehrs has grown supersized. My first ever job was at the Zehrs store. Now I can’t find my way around it; it’s too huge. Trying to find a box of crackers takes me 15 minutes. I have so much history with that mall. My dad worked there before I did. Amazingly, the bank at which he used to work is still open, though completely changed and enlarged. His old office is now just part of the general reception area. The old vault, which my dad used to let me into when we visited, is also long gone.
When we were really young, my mom, sister and I went to visit my dad at the bank regularly. We liked playing with the calculator and his phone. My sister enjoyed sitting in his big chair. Within reach of her tiny hands was the silent alarm, hidden under his desk. She found it, and decided to try it out and see what it did. Nothing! Nothing at all. We left and headed home, while my dad continued work. A few minutes after we departed, in rolled a squad of cops responding to the silent alarm! My dad had no idea, but he figured it out in short order.
Needless to say, I grew up with that mall as a second home. When I was in grade school, it was basically right next door. I knew every inch of it, at least the way it used to be. The Baskin Robbins – long gone. Little Short Stop where I bought all my comics, candy and Star Wars cards — gone. The sole restaurant — gone. Black’s Photography – gone. Radio Shack – also gone. Entire wings of the mall don’t exist anymore, swallowed up by other stores. Nothing decent moved in to replace them. Walmart took over the skeleton of Zellers and the grocery store expanded. Everything else was taken up by crap discount stores of questionable value. Nobody shops there anymore. The mall is dead. It used to be infested with mall rats. Now you couldn’t find a teenager within 100 meters of that place.
The second record store I worked in was also in Kitchener, but not in a mall. It was in a strip plaza. That strip plaza has also completely changed over the last 20 years. When we first moved in there, they had a coffee shop and a bank. The coffee shop was gone within the first year and the bank a few years later. There were two gigantic gift and craft shops – both gone. There was a dollar store where we could pop in and buy a bag of chips – gone. “Cheese chips” was our thing at that location. It was a new flavour to us, cheddar cheese. We bought a lot of cheese chips from that store.
That plaza doesn’t even look the same anymore. Today, most of the stores have been bulldozed, including my old record store. However they moved down a little ways; not too far for the customers. These stores were torn down to make way for a new grocery store. Quite a shock, to see my old store reduced to rubble. There was nothing but concrete shambles where I spent every weekday for many years not so long ago! A strange sight to behold. So much happened on that little patch of rubble! Half of Record Store Tales came from that destruction zone.
I think it would be fascinating to take a look at these places in another 20 years. Will they even exist? Will anyone care? Or am I just another old fogie reminiscing about the “good old days”? You only live once and I’m very happy to have lived where I have.
Anyone who has ever shared a workspace, a home, or a car with another human has probably had this experience: It is sometimes very difficult to get two people to agree on what temperature it should be inside!
I walked into work recently on a cold November morn’. We were blessed with a mild fall, but now winter has come, so bundle up. I work in an office in an old building. I’m as far away from the furnace as you can get. I’m often very cold in the winter, and too warm in the summer, but certainly not always. The best way for me to control the temperature in my office is by putting a big 500 ream of 8.5″ x 11″ paper on top of the vent. I had to use the vent method to prevent my office from becoming a sauna.
The previous day, somebody cranked the heat up on the office thermostat. Whoever did cranked it way, way up. For whatever reason, all the heat seemed to be concentrated in my office. I could feel it in the hallway, which was warm, but my office was sweltering! Every surface in my office was hot: my desk, my filing cabinet, the walls, my computer…even the window was warm! Meanwhile, it was -2°C outside. It really had to be hot inside to warm up the window that much. I covered the vent blasting all that hot air. Then I removed my winter coat, and my dress shirt leaving only my Iron Maiden T-shirt beneath. I was still sweating. I had to crack open an outside door just to get some relief.
Whatever happened, it took a few hours for the room to cool down once the thermostat had been reset. The Maiden shirt was a hit; it was suggested I wear it to the office Christmas luncheon. I was able to work comfortably (and fully shirted) the rest of the day.
It reminded me of the constant thermostat battles at the Record Store. In the store I worked, there was a retail storefront and an office in the back. The office people would be constantly fiddling with the thermostat while the people up front doing the real work had to sweat it out. It wasn’t a winnable battle so I didn’t even fight. With hot lights beating down on the counter, I’d sometimes have to turn them off to stay cool. At night when the office people went home, we could at least control the temperature again. But if we failed to leave the heat on overnight in winter, there would be hell to pay! Though few people worry about it, temperatures under 20°C could theoretically do damage to a computer’s hard drive. Employees would constantly be warned of the penalties.
“Mike! Your employees forgot to leave the heat on last night! I could see my own breath this morning! Remind them if those computers break down they’ll be paying to replace them!”
A hard drive costs less than a hundred bucks. Heating a large store…that’s expensive. But I didn’t make the rules, and nobody asked my opinion!
As we Canadians hunker down for yet another winter, get ready for the temperature arguments. Fighting about tunes in the car will be replaced by “turn up/down the heat, I’m freezing/boiling!” Best of all are those days where you don’t know if you’re warm or cold. All perspective is lost on those days. You can’t even tell if you’re comfortable anymore. Join me in celebrating this joyful time of year, as some freeze and others work in a room hot as a sauna!
I had a ghetto blaster (dual cassette) with detachable speakers. The speakers connected via a normal 3.5mm audio jacks. The deck had a microphone jack of the same size. Converting a speaker to a microphone was as simple as unplugging it, and plugging it into the microphone jack.
There is one instance when paying attention to the words does really matter, such as when a vulnerable youth might think “Flying High Again” sounds really fun and cool because Ozzy said so. But that is where the parents must step up. It’s not Ozzy’s responsibility, nor the state’s, to monitor what your kids are doing. Pay attention to what they are listening to and make sure you give them the straight talk on any issues that concern you. That’s what my parents did (unbeknownst to me). My mom read over the lyrics when I wasn’t home. She never had made any musical demands of her son other than “turn it down” when it was too loud.
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