“Michael Bay is the Nickelback of movies.” — Mrs. LeBrain
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #427: I Do Want to Miss This Thing
Blame Michael Bay.
Quite possibly the worst movie director of all time may be responsible for the downfall of Aerosmith. I’m not talking about the “Falling in Love (Is Hard on the Knees)” music video, which he directed. No, that was not the downfall. In fact quality-wise, Nine Lives was a bit of an up-tick from Get A Grip. It’s too bad that sales didn’t match (2 million sold U.S. vs. 7 million U.S.), but that’s the fickle finger of fate. The tastes of the public seldom make a perfect match with hard rock quality.
Since Nine Lives would have been considered a bit of a sales disappointment in some camps, it probably didn’t take Steven Tyler much coercing to do a Diane Warren ballad for a movie soundtrack. Of course, Tyler’s daughter Liv was the headline actress in the flick, so from that standpoint it was a once in a lifetime opportunity for them to work on the same project. Unfortunately for the world, that project was Armageddon. Not quite as bad as a real meteor heading to Earth, this Michael Bay stinker made so much money, that some reports suggest that Bay wallpapered his 43 bedroom mansion entirely in Benjamin Franklins. There’s that problem with the tastes of the masses, again.
So Bay, aided and abetted by Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thorton, and Steve fucking Buscemi, laid this turd of a movie and all it needed was a turd soundtrack. As for what happened next, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2015 desktop calendar* has the answer:
For many fans, this was the beginning of the end of Aerosmith. Some truly dreadful music followed “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”, such as Just Push Play and (ewww) “(It) Feels So Good”. Can Aerosmith be redeemed? I don’t know the answer to that.
What I do know this is, and it’s quite simple.
If Michael Bay didn’t make this damned movie, Aerosmith wouldn’t have had this damned million selling single!
Message to Michael Bay: Stay away from things I like!
* These things are brilliant and I recommend them to anyone who does not have a stunted sense of humour!
By special request of reader Wardy, it’s Epic Review Time!
SAVATAGE – Edge of Thorns(1993 Edel & 2002 Steamhammer)
Sava-fans were shaken. Even though 1991’s Streets: A Rock Opera was a complete artistic triumph, singer and co-founder Jon Oliva quit the band. Side projects and home life had become priorities. He would not, however, ever truly leave Savatage. Even though he was no longer the singer, Jon Oliva co-wrote every track with his brother Criss and producer Paul O’Neill. He even personally selected his replacement, Zachary Stevens, and tutored and coached the new young singer. He also continued to play all the piano parts in the studio, although this time he would not tour. It was certainly an unusual situation, but also an ideal one. Fans knew that Jon was not really gone, and they easily embraced Stevens as the new frontman. Oliva had stated that Savatage needed a voice like Zak’s in order to continue. He knew his own voice was not commercial enough to get on the radio. With Stevens they had a shot.
The press glowed with reviews, praising the new direction of the band. They had successfully combined the later piano-tinged Savatage that wrote complex operatic songs and ballads, with the earlier riff-driven metallic Savatage. Stevens was praised for his voice, and comparisons to Geoff Tate, James LaBrie and Ray Alder were tossed around. I found a copy of Edge of Thorns in Michigan, and it was with great anticipation that I ripped the shrink wrap off the cassette and placed it in my Walkman.
Anyone who has heard the now-classic title track “Edge of Thorns” can’t forget the haunting piano that descends at the beginning of the album. At this early stage, Stevens was very much singing like a progressive rock singer, and throwing in screams at key moments. His range and power here are impressive, and very different from the Mountain King’s style. “Edge of Thorns” was a great choice for an opening track and new singer. Not only is it one of the most immediate songs that Oliva/Oliva/O’Neill had yet composed, but it also combines both sides of the band. The soft piano intro reflects Streets, but then it kicks into overdrive with a riff, heavy bass and dramatic guitar solos. It possesses the pure rock drama of “Gutter Ballet”. It is the whole package.
I have always been drawn to the words.
I have seen you on the edge of dawn, Felt you here before you were born, Balanced your dreams upon the Edge of Thorns, …but I don’t think about you anymore.
I don’t think about you…anymore, Anymore…
But clearly, he does, and intensely so.
“He Carves His Stone” begins as if a ballad, but the patented snake-y Criss Oliva guitar riff drags us back to the metallic origins of the band. The combination of riff and chorus are a winning one. More intense is the borderline thrash metal of “Lights Out”, a smoking track that shows what Zak Stevens can do with the rougher side of his voice. Hang on tight and shout along to the chorus, because this one is a ride.
Back to the dark, dramatic side that Savatage do so well, it’s “Skraggy’s Tomb”, a brilliant song bursting with ominous heaviness. Just let it assault your skull, don’t fight it. Fear not — “Labyrinths” is a quiet piano piece, with Jon accompanied by Chris on guitar. This cascades in traditional Sava-fashion into a fully-blown dramatic intro similar to “Gutter Ballet”. It is a suitable and essential part of the song it is attached to, “Follow Me”, the side one epic.
His whole life was written, Written there inside, The new weekly Bible, His modern TV Guide, Every night he stares back at the screen.
There is no way to sum up the pure excellence, drama, and chills that “Follow Me” delivers. Zak’s vocals make it accessible enough, the power is undeniable. “Follow Me” is among the greatest songs of the Zak Stevens era. A quiet piano piece appropriately titled “Exit Music”* works as an outro. Together with intro and outro, “Follow Me” is almost 10 minutes of pure Savatage adrenaline, with a Criss Oliva solo that still gives me chills.
The second side opens exotically with “Degrees of Sanity”, and Savatage fans know that sanity of one of Jon Oliva’s favourite lyrical subjects! Criss’ guitar parts are lyrical and enticing. Slowly it chugs, building and building. With Criss firmly at the helm, the ship steers through craggy riff after craggy riff until it gives way to the next song, also clearly dealing with sanity: “Conversation Piece”. The subject person of the song thought he had been doing better, lately. “I haven’t thought about you for a while,” he claims. But even so, he has not let it all go yet. “I keep your picture hidden a file, of favourite one-act plays. Like pieces of myself, cut off in desperation, as offerings to thee. I’ll leave them on the shelf, they’re good for conversation over a cup of tea.” The melodramatic lyrics of Savatage have always appealed to me (I don’t know what that says about me). Thanks to Stevens’ impassioned delivery, you can feel every word, while Criss Olivia chugs behind. Remind me not to visit for tea!
Delicate is “All That I Bleed”, a pretty piano ballad with a rocking conclusion. Demonstrating the versatility of his voice, Stevens sings smooth and light, until the end. Perhaps it is all coincidence, but the songs do seem connected. Both “All That I Bleed” and “Conversation Piece” deal with a letter and difficult emotions. I like to think of the two songs as alternate endings to the same story — one in which the person does not send the letter (“Conversation Piece”) and one where he does (“All That I Bleed”). Regardless, “All That I Bleed” has everything you would want in a ballad. Had in come out in 1989 it would have stormed the charts and MTV would have played it non-stop. 1993 was a very different year from 1989, but Savatage had never expressed any interest whatsoever in musical trends (the mis-step that was Fight for the Rock notwithstanding).
“Damien” appears next, a choppy heavy rock tune with bouncy piano doubling the guitar riff. Following this fine song is the even finer “Miles Away”, a melodic heavy rocker that is easy to like. It has a brightness to it, and Steve “Doc” Wacholz kicks the drums right in the ass. Unexpectedly the album closed with a quiet acoustic song, “Sleep”. It feels like a sunrise after the stormy night, and perhaps that’s the intention.
There are plenty of bonus tracks on different editions of Edge of Thorns. I can only review the bonus tracks I have, which are:
“Shotgun Innocence”, originally a Japanese bonus track. This is a glossy hard rock song with an emphasis on melody. Though certainly heavy enough, its direct rock vibe doesn’t fit the mood of Edge of Thorns, which I’m sure is why it was saved for a bonus track. Good song though, and it certainly shows off the pipes of young Mr. Stevens.
“Forever After”, the second Japanese bonus track. Probably the weakest song of the batch. It sounds a bit like an unfinished Ozzy outtake, circa the Jake E. Lee period.
“Conversation Piece (Live in rehearsal 9/24/1994)” is recorded really poorly, but the sweat and rawness are captured. Since it is live in rehearsal, and it is known that Doc Wacholz did not tour, I assume this is with Jeff Plate on drums. That would also have to be Alex Skolnick from Testament on guitar. This track is on the 2002 Steamhammer/SPV remastered edition.
“Believe (Acoustic)” is part of a series of acoustic versions Savatage did for another batch of reissues. This is Zak Stevens’ version of the closing ballad from Streets, but with acoustic guitar instead of piano. It is a fascinating alternative version, but the original always kills me. This is on a German printing on Edel records.
As fate would have it, this would be the final time Jon and Criss would make music together. On October 17, 1993 Criss was killed by a drunk driver with seven prior DUI’s. Rather than let this crush him, Jon survived by pouring himself into music. Savatage would not die, even if with half its heart ripped out. Edge of Thorns remains Criss Oliva’s capstone, and a bright apex it is.
5/5 stars
*The really interesting thing about “Exit Music” is that it is entirely piano. Therefore no “official” members of Savatage appeared on it!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #426: The History of the Holy Grail
I don’t know when I started referring to this list as my “Holy Grail” items, but the idea is simple. I wanted to create a wishlist of musical items that would be my ultimate, most sought after records and CDs. For example, there is a rare Iron Maiden EP calledLive!! +one. It was released in Japan in 1980, and featured two exclusive recordings still unavailable anywhere else: “Sanctuary” and “Drifter” from the Marquee show. In 2014, I found a copy in Mississauga. Should I have bought it? It was $100. It was not in the budget that time. Will I ever see it again?
Those are the kinds of things I’m referring to as Holy Grails. The kinds of things that you see only ever one or twice in your time as a fan. When you find a Holy Grail item, how much are you willing to pay? I paid $300 for a copy of the rare live album marillionrochester on eBay. I don’t think I’ll ever do that again though. That was a once in a lifetime buy. (Only 2000 copies of it were ever made, which were sent directly to fans who donated to their 1997 American tour fund. It will never be reissued.)
In the digital age, curating a Holy Grail list has never been easier. My solution today is simple. I have entrusted my Holy Grail list to Aaron over at the KeepsMeAlive site. There, he has created (and continues to update) several bloggers’ personal lists as the Master Grail Search List. Using this list from our smartphones, we have hunted for items for others, too. The increased range provided by the Master Grail Search List has resulted in a couple scores.
While searching one of my hard drives, I discovered what is probably the very first Grail list I ever made, and it is over 10 years old now. Apparently I wasn’t calling it a Grail list yet (like I said, I don’t know when we started using that term), but below is my 2005 “Ultimate All-Time Want List”. I have since found a number of these…but have also added many more to my list! Check out the list, with added notes from today in [red].
Date: 2005/06/11
ULTIMATE ALL-TIME WANT LIST
To be modified and added to periodically.
In no particular order:
KISS – Chikara (CD or LP)
[I should have bought this whenI had the chance in ’96 at Dr. Disc in Hamilton! I blew it.]
marillion – Web Christmas 1998 CD
marillion – Web Christmas 1999 CD
[Still missing these two. I’ve downloaded them from their official site, which is nice, but not as nice as an original CD.]
Metallica – The 5 1/2 Year Anniversary Box Set LP
[Saw this one at Flying Monkey Music in Waterloo in 1997, priced around $120. I should have bought it. Scott, ourHeavy Metal Overlord has a copy, but he is also apparently immune to my Jedi mind tricks.]
Tommy Shaw – Girls With Guns CD
[Hahaha, what!? I don’t remember wanting this!]
[I mean, sure, I’ll take it, I like that one song…it’s a great music video too, all one continuous shot with no edits…but the CD is certainly not a Holy Grail item anymore!]
KISS – Alive III (Japanese CD)
[No longer needed, since the release of Kiss’ comprehensiveAlive! 1975-2000 box set!]
Iron Maiden – “Wasting Love” (CD single)
Iron Maiden – “Hallowed Be Thy Name” (CD single)
Motley Crue – Generation Swine (limited edition Japanese with bonus track “Song To Slit Your Wrist By”)
[FOUND,FOUND, andFOUND! All of these came from eBay. None were cheap, but I had a budget threshold for each under which I was willing to pay.]
ZZ Top – Chrome Smoke & BBQ (limited edition CD box set)
[FOUND, quite easily, and very soon after I made this original list. I just went down to Best Buy and bought it. Hey, sometimes it’s the simple way.]
KISS – Instant Live CDs (ALL of them)
[Threehave been FOUND! I would still love “all” of them, but I’m not made of money!]
I’m actually surprised to see so many items crossed off this decade-old list! Surprised, and pleased. I know how much I wanted some of these items, such as those Iron Maiden CD singles. That Motley Crue import also dogged me for years.
The internet helped me gain access to many of these. It has also broadened my realization of what lay in the nooks and crannies of a band’s discography. When I made this list 10 years ago, I didn’t even know about Maiden’s Live!! +one EP. I didn’t know that the same band’s Best of the Beast 6 LP box set had one exclusive bonus track (“Revelations” live) that was tucked away unnoticed. As I have crossed items off my list, two more sprang forth in their place!
IRON MAIDEN – “Speed of Light” (2015 BMG single/T-shirt bundle – Best Buy exclusive)
“Only at Best Buy“ — the words chill me to the bones.
I don’t know what the deal is with Best Buy exclusives in Canada. When Tenacious D’s movie Pick of Destiny came out, I found the Best Buy edition no problem, just up the street. Bonus disc and all, easy peasy. Didn’t even know such a thing existed until I found it at Best Buy.
Only a few years later, it became impossible to find Best Buy exclusives at Best Buy. Using Tenacious D as the example again, the Best Buy edition of Rize of the Fenix has two bonus tracks. I had to buy it on eBay, so you know it was an inflated price. Same thing with the last Black Sabbath album. Best Buy had a bonus track called “Naïveté in Black” which happened to be one of the best songs. Had to buy it on eBay. Paid too much.
A few weeks ago, Best Buy announced they were getting an exclusive on the new Iron Maiden single “Speed of Light” from the forthcoming double album The Book of Souls. It came with a T-shirt. But I wanted the single just as much. That’s where Stone from Metal Odyssey came in!
First of all, I’m gonna tell you to follow Stone in some way, shape, or form. (WordPress/Twitter) He read my plight regarding Best Buy items here and took pity. I called my closest Best Buy — all CDs have been removed from their inventory. So Stone bought two copies and sent me one, asking nothing in return. (I will return the favour — just name it man!) To say I appreciate this gesture is am understatement, which is why I’m being more long winded than usual for a one track CD single!
“Speed of Light”, written by the duo of Dickinson/Smith, is true to Iron Maiden, and it sounds fucking brilliant. We know all about the new double album, with plenty of long bombers. “Speed of Light” is just a hair over five minutes, a very concise song for any Maiden album. When Adrian and Bruce write together, you can count on a catchy riff and hooks. “Speed of Light” delivers, and Bruce’s singing is just as powerful as ever, cancer be damned. His voice is virtually unchanged since Brave New World, 15 years ago. The air raid siren is intact. And this album will be the fifth with this Maiden lineup, the longest lived in its history. Impressive.
Most impressive.
A highlight of “Speed of Light” has to be Adrian’s solo. The three Maiden guitarists (Janick Gers and Dave Murray being the other two) all have their own distinct styles, which is a major boon to a band like Maiden. Adrian is the one who thoughtfully composes his solos, and then lets them rip. This one is brief but has his stamp all over it.
Sometimes Maiden take on a 70’s vibe. “The Angel and the Gambler” is one such moment, but I think “Speed of Light” also has one foot in the 70’s. Just a hint, an insinuation, at the beginning. Otherwise, “Speed of Light” is purely a modern Maiden metal moment. It would have fit comfortably on The Final Frontier, although I would caution against inferring the sound of the new album from just one single. It is probably one of the more straightforward moments on The Books of Souls, but we’ll find out for sure on September 4.
One last comment: fuck you, cancer! You just got beat by Bruce Dickinson!
What is summer without a few trips to the cottage? This past weekend was beautiful and loaned itself to some photography and loads of music.
Below, you will find a video using a new track by Stealth, the duo made up of bass clarinetist Kathryn Ladano, and percussionist Richard Burrows. The music is “point i” from their debut album, called …listen. Thanks to Youtube, you no longer have to just “listen”!
“Point i” suited the jungle planet in the photos. I was just playing around with my Star Wars Black Series 6″ figures and I wanted to show off my new IG-88 and Chewbacca. I got carried away and what you see below is the result. It was a lot of fun, which I hope you can see in the adventure!
Thanks to Kathryn and Stealth for permission to use the music. Pick up ...listen by contacting the artists at kathrynladano.com, coming soon to iTunes and Amazon.
DIO – Holy Diver (2012 Universal deluxe edition, originally 1983)
Ronnie James Dio often said that the best Dio album was the first. Fans will always have their own favourites, but there is no denying that Ronnie was right about Holy Diver being a special album. Dio had always had a knack for rallying talented people around him. Just look at that lineup: Ronnie and Vinny Appice had recently fled Black Sabbath. Jimmy Bain had worked with Dio in Blackmore’s Rainbow, an integral part of that band’s lineup in the Rainbow Rising period. On guitar – Vivian Campbell, from little known New Wave of British Heavy Metal band Sweet Savage. A shredder he was, able to compete with the hot flashy players of the 80’s.
Very few people do speedy metal songs better than Ronnie James Dio. “Stand Up and Shout” is the prototype of such Dio songs. Youthful and rebellious, “Stand Up and Shout” was exactly what fans in 1983 were craving. The band got to show off their chops a bit, with Vinny Appice leading the way via a hell of a drum performance. Then it’s Vivian’s turn to shine on one of the speediest solos laid to tape. “You are the strongest chain and not just some reflection,” sings Ronnie, inspiring the masses with his positive message of self-belief.
For the first four albums, Dio always put the title track second. If this holds some special meaning, I do not know. “Holy Diver”, with its ominous opening, still remains upon the lofty peak of the best songs Ronnie has ever written. The riff, written solely by Ronnie, is iconic. Perhaps it is not recognized on the level of immortal riffs such as “Whole Lotta Love”, but among metal fans, it is held in high regard. “Holy Diver” is the shiniest jewel in the crown, a massive track that just has everything. Bain and Appice formed a tight rhythm section with the exact right amount of heft. The song is flawless…shiny diamonds indeed.
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue, something is coming for you.
“Gypsy” is a knockout. Ronnie belting in full voice with a solid mid-tempo song behind him is always a pleasure. This is Vivian’s first writing credit on a Dio album. The guitar solo could use some focus, but I think the directive here was “just shred”. One of Dio’s most pop moments (in terms of melody only) is “Caught in the Middle”, one of his catchiest, most concise and direct songs. Even Vivian sticks to point on the solo. But “Caught in the Middle” is soon eclipsed by an even more exciting song: “Don’t Talk to Strangers”. The acoustic fake-out intro is a trick Dio pulled again later on “The Last in Line”, but when the song really starts, it’s friggin’ frantic. It’s like the wind. These guys had so much energy, it is remarkable. “Straight Through the Heart” has balls to it, it’s a groovy tune. I loved Halestorm’s cover of it immensely. I think they really caught and emphasized what is great about the song. Lzzy Hale is one of very few people who can do Dio justice vocally.
The slow intro to “Invisible” reminds me of a 1987-era Whitesnake ballad. This is another trick! It stops and abruptly turns into another Dio stomper of high quality. There is very little letup on this Dio album. The momentum is maintained by the stunning single “Rainbow in the Dark”. That’s Ronnie on keyboards, by the way. I have a story about this song.
Our local rock station, 107.5 Dave Rocks, has a 3:00 contest called the Tedious Tiresome Trivia in the Tri-Cities, or the TTT in the TC. What makes it so tedious and tiresome are the callers. Craig seems to attract the…how should I say this? The most “interesting” callers. The most notorious of these is “Bore-linda” who has a legion of haters who can’t stand her perky tone. (She’s actually a very nice lady in real life.) Craig Fee would receive emails from annoyed listeners saying, “Hang up on Bore-linda! Play some Dio!” So that’s exactly what Craig did, and he chose “Rainbow in the Dark” as the song. And Bore-linda calls in a lot. And Craig hangs up a lot. For a while, “Rainbow in the Dark” was played almost daily between 3 and 4 o’clock. And you know what? It never got tiring. Every single time it came on was a fist-pumper.
Holy Diver deserves a dramatic ending, and that would be “Shame on the Night”. Copying the template of a song like Sabbath’s “Lonely is the Word”, it occupies the same kind of slow-paced dark metal space. Vivian’s guitar intro is very cool, but the song just pounds.
The bonus CD is chock full of Dio goodness. Deluxe editions should always present a complete set of B-sides. This has the three from this era, including the studio cut “Evil Eyes”. This excellent, cruisin’ tune was re-recorded for The Last in Line, and the B-side version has remained obscure until now. Vivian has a lot of different solos on this version, and they are all cool. Then, essential cuts “Stand Up and Shout” and “Straight Through the Heart” are both live B-sides, every bit as electrifying as the originals. They are simply more raw, probably a little faster, and there is nothing more powerful than Ronnie James Dio’s voice live in the raw.
The balance of the disc is fleshed out by six live songs recorded for radio by the King Biscuit Flower Hour. They sound excellent, thanks to King Biscuit. You get “Stand Up and Shout” a second time, but the rest of the live songs are not repeats. In the mix are some Sabbath (“Children of the Sea”) and some Rainbow (“Man on the Silver Mountain/Starstruck”). Of the two, “Children of the Sea” fares better from the Dio band’s interpretation. To be fair, I think Tony Iommi and Ritchie Blackmore both have so much personality, that it is daunting to cover them no matter who you are. I think Vivian’s style works less well on the Rainbow song than it does with Sabbath’s material. The rest of the songs (“Holy Diver”, “Rainbow in the Dark”, “Shame on the Night”) are all quality Dio tracks. Although the market is now inundated with live Dio packages, it is still a delight to have these early recordings on CD.
I needn’t divulge that this deluxe edition is loaded with cool liner notes and pictures. You have come to expect that from a good deluxe edition. And Holy Diver is quite good indeed.
ROCK STAR – Music from the Motion Picture (2001 Warner)
I remember dragging my long-suffering girlfriend at the time out to see this movie. She had every right to complain. The movie was a stinker, absolutely. Not to mention, it had no idea when it is taking place. Vaguely, the 80’s, but then after this guy (Marky Mark) leaves the band (Steel Dragon), he goes and becomes the founder of grunge? The movie sucked! It was very, very loosely inspired by the story of Ripper Owens being discovered by Judas Priest, by being in a Judas Priest cover band. In the movie, Marky Mark becomes the singer of Steel Dragon after their original singer (who also happens to be gay, hmmm?) quits. It was supposed to be a really inspiring story of the everyman with talent who succeeded, but it ended up being just a normal everyday turd.
But listen, we’re not talking about the movie. We’re looking strictly at the soundtrack CD. I ask you one simple question: If you were to pick one band to write and play the title anthem for a movie about a heavy metal band in the 80’s, who would it be? Obviously the answer is Everclear. (I say “obviously”, because a whole bunch of suits who get paid a whole lot more than I do picked it, so they must be right.) Actually, their tune “Rock Star” isn’t bad. It sounds a bit like an old Canadian rock band called Deadline, actually.
It’s astounding, but Zakk shaved his beard to get that 80’s look back!
The main attraction of the CD is actually the original tunage by the fictional band Steel Dragon. On record, the lineup was:
Zakk Wylde – lead guitar
Jason Bonham – drums
Jeff Pilson – bass
Nick Cantonese – guitar
Mike Matijevic – lead vocals
Jeff Scott Soto – lead vocals
See why I dragged that poor girlfriend out to see this movie? Zakk, Jason and Jeff were in even the movie, as the band Steel Dragon.
They had two lead singers, while Marky Mark mimed. Jeff Scott Soto sings the raspy, mid-rangey stuff such as “Livin’ the Life”. This isn’t a bad rock tune, but it’s Zakk’s guitar that makes it perk up a bit. Mike Matijevic (Steelheart) sings the smooth and screamy stuff, with his impeccable range. “We All Die Young” is a bonafide great songs. Matijevic’s stunning vocals meeting Zakk Wylde’s leads is probably a wet dream for some folks! The only problem with it is that it doesn’t sound accurate to the period. The movie is supposed to take place in the early 80’s (I think) but “We All Die Young” sounds early 90’s. But wait…we’re supposed to be talking about the CD, not the movie. Fuck the movie!
“Blood Pollution” (written by Twiggy Ramirez, interestingly) has Matijevic singing, but as with “Livin’ the Life” the song isn’t that special. It sounds like Motley Crue, except with Zakk Wylde on guitar and a better Vince Neil. Jeff Scott Soto helms “Stand Up”, which is way heavier than you’d expect considering Sammy Hagar wrote it! This version actually came out before Sammy’s, on 2002’s Not 4 Sale and has different lyrics. “Stand Up” kicks ass, and along with “We All Die Young” is one of the soundtrack highlights. Just listen to Zakk killing it in that fast part! It’s also one of the few tunes with that patented, genetic Bonham Stomp.
Another track right up Motley Crue’s alley is “Wasted Generation”, and with its Desmond Child co-write it’s a lot heavier than expected. Jeff Scott kicks ass on the anthemic punchy chorus, and Zakk’s shredding is tasty. The final Steel Dragon tune on the disc is a Rainbow cover — “Long Live Rock and Roll” with Matijevic singing. I never understood why the band Steel Dragon would be playing a Rainbow cover, since it is implied that Steel Dragon were active in the 70’s too, contemporaries with Rainbow. But we’re here to talk about the CD, not that piece of shit movie. “Long Live Rock and Roll” with Zakk Wylde on guitar…it’s not what you’d hope it would be. Bonham’s awesome though, and remarkably Ian Paice-like.
The rest of the disc contains various hits from various bands from various years. The Verve Pipe – “Colorful” (2001), check! INXS – “The Devil Inside” (1987), check! Why? Who the fuck knows. I like some INXS, it’s completely out of place. I suppose that a soundtrack for you. More suiting to the tone of the CD are Kiss’ “Lick It Up” (1983), Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer” (1986), Ted Nugent’s “Stranglehold” (1975), and Motley Crue’s “Wild Side” (1987). I do wonder why “Stranglehold” seems to be the only Nugent that ever shows up on movie soundtracks. At least Marky Mark doesn’t have any songs.
The final song, Trevor Rabin’s “Gotta Have It” sounds like end credits music, but I’m not going to watch that crummy movie to find out. Rabin’s track is excellent, as should be expected. It sounds like Rabin, which is all I can really say to describe it!
So: Rock Star, a shit movie, gave us a pretty OK soundtrack. Considering I (and probably you) already had the Nugent, Kiss, Bon Jovi and Motley Crue songs, I salvaged seven tracks from the album as keepers: the six Steel Dragon tunes, and Trevor Rabin. There are 14 songs, so this time the math is easy.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #425: The Soup Nazi
One of the classic, most popular antagonists from the old TV show Seinfeld is the Soup Nazi . This character, the proprietor of a busy, highly rated soup joint in Manhattan, was eccentric to say the least. The Soup Nazi had strict rules about lining up and ordering your soup.
Jerry: “There’s only one caveat. The guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He’s secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.”
Elaine: “Why? What happens if you don’t order right?”
Jerry: “He yells and you don’t get your soup.”
That’s right! Deviate from procedure, and there’s no soup for you! Jerry continues:
Jerry: “As you walk in the place, move immediately to your right. The main thing is to keep the line moving. It’s very important not to embellish on your order. No extraneous comments. No questions. No compliments.”
As it turned out, George complained about some forgotten bread. He was given a refund and had his soup taken away! “No soup for you!” Elaine ended up with a one year ban! The only Seinfeld character with whom the Soup Nazi seems to have an understanding is Kramer. “You suffer for your soup,” says Cosmo Kramer. “You demand perfection from yourself, from your soup.”
I have always had a…what’s the word?…not admiration, but something like that…for the Soup Nazi. Envy, perhaps. Not for his gruff demeanor. Not for his rude reactions to people. Not for a badass moustache. Just for his demand…nay!…his expectation on a nice, quiet orderly line. I like order.
LeBrain at the counter, circa 1998, going through a box of discs.
You might be surprised to learn that a used CD store can have a very, very busy counter area. It’s quite easy for things to go sideways if you’re not on top of them. The used CD store was a place in which you’re performing multiple duties simultaneously. While you are buying a pile of 50 CDs (which you have organized meticulously by condition and offering price), you could also be looking up inventory for someone else, and doing a sale for someone else. Is that the phone ringing?
On a busy day, I could have several piles of discs that I’m buying from customers, and also a few more piles that customers want to buy, but have set aside while they look around some more. It can get very confusing very quickly if there is not order.
Back in Part 274 of Record Store Tales, we took a look at a type of customer I dubbed the “Hawks”. These are folks with a lot of CDs to sell. They were the most annoying customers in the world: sellers who just want to hang out at the front counter, watch what you’re doing, and chat. They are completely oblivious to the concept of other people. They don’t realize there is someone else behind them who is trying to buy something, while they lean and take up all the counter space themselves. The Soup Nazi didn’t put up with that.
Since I wasn’t a Soup Nazi (and had bosses who could fire me and stuff), I would just politely (as I could manage) tell the guy that he has a line forming behind him, and could he please move off to the side? I’d encourage them to go and get a coffee and come back later if I was going through a lot of CDs for them.
Even worse than Hawks in some ways though were customers who were just nosy. “What are these?” they’d ask, before jumbling the piles of CDs that I had meticulously arranged earlier. “Those belong to someone else, I had them all organized so please don’t mix them up.” Frustration boils inside, fake smiles on the outside!
So yes, condemn me if you wish. I can sympathize with the Soup Nazi. I’m sure the following people burned his britches just as much as they burned mine!
The ones who are too busy chatting with their friends or on a cell phone to notice they are NEXT IN LINE!
Counter leaners who take up the whole thing, while bombarding you with BAD BREATH! They tend to leave the counter dirty, and/or sweaty.
Counter parkers, who decide not to look around the store at all, but just park there and ask questions. They don’t like making room for paying customers. They don’t even know there are any other customers. They just have questions. LOTS AND LOTS OF QUESTIONS!
CLINGERS. These people are not your friends, but they don’t know that. Friends understand that you’re working and they are not, so they don’t bother you too much. Clingers were usually customers who seemed lonely, and just wanted to hang out. They like to chat, ask questions, and make it look like that CD in their hand is something they are really going to purchase. But no, is it all just an elaborate hoax. They just needed to kill a couple hours, and someone to talk to. The person behind the counter is a captive audience. They buy like, one or two discs a year just so they can’t be officially labelled a nuisance.
Looking back on it today, maybe it would have been better for my soul had I just take a few tips from the Soup Nazi. No discs for you!
It’s the final instalment of GREATEST HITS WEEK! All week we were examining some pretty cool greatest hits albums. I saved the best for last — one of the very greatest, Greatest Hits albums ever. Once again, thanks to Aaron over at the KMA for the idea (which I stole). For his original Greatest Hits Week, click here!
Yeah, oh yeah! Ooh, said I, I’m comin’ out to get you Ooh, sit down, I’m comin’ out to find you Ooh, yeah Ooh yeah Findin’ my way!
I just can’t stress how important this album is to me. I had always followed Rush, and been interested in what they were up to. I had never taken the plunge and bought any albums. I wouldn’t have had a clue where to begin anyway. In July 1994, I was hired at the Record Store thus kicking off the exponential growth of my music collection (and tastes). With birthday money, I finally acquired my first Rush: Chronicles, the massive 2 CD set that was released for Christmas of 1990.
For my first listen, I didn’t play the whole thing from front to back. I picked out the songs I liked best, and programmed the CD player. I revisited favourites like “Tom Sawyer” and especially “Subdivisions”, and then the next day, listened to the whole thing. One song jumped out at me immediately: “Red Sector A”. Holy shitballs! “The Temples of Syrinx” was the next one that grabbed me on second listen, along with “Freewill”, “Limelight”, “The Trees” and “What You’re Doing”. I had feared Rush would be a bit over my head if consumed in this quantity, but it turned up to be just my poison.
Even though Chronicles is the first Rush “greatest hits” compilation, and has arguably been replaced by the three volumes of Rush Retrospective, I still think that it is a perfect entry point. I think back to my early experience of trying to figure out where to start with this band. They seemed to have a lot of different sounds over the years. I know today that anybody looking to buy their first Rush album can comfortably start with Moving Pictures. But what about those who want a little bit more music than that, in the form of a detailed sampling? Then Chronicles is the one.
Appropriately, Chronicles goes chronologically which works for a band like Rush. Their evolution over the years has been very natural and organic, not at all jumpy. That makes for a smooth listen. Each studio album gets two tracks, with a few exceptions: Moving Pictures is represented by three, while the most recent Presto has one. Additionally, 2112 has one track, albeit actually the first two parts of “2112” itself. The neat thing, though, is that for its time Chronicles actually had three rare live tracks too. Back in the early days of CD, they couldn’t get as much music onto the disc as they can today. “What You’re Doing”, “A Passage to Bankok”, and “Mystic Rhythms” were all cut from their respective CD releases for time reasons. They were released on Chronicles, on CD, for the first time ever. All three are brilliant versions, especially the electrifying “What You’re Doing” from All the World’s a Stage.
I was hooked. Using the tracks and liner notes from Chronicles as a guide, I began adding more Rush to my collection: 2112, Signals, Moving Pictures, A Show of Hands, plus the more recent Counterparts and Roll the Bones too. I see no reason that new fans today can’t use the album as a gateway the same way I did. It’s still in print, even though the more recent Rush compilations are readily available.
There are minimal exclusions missing from Chronicles. Some notable songs are absent, such as later singles “Superconductor” and “The Pass” from Presto. This isn’t hard to understand. Rush wouldn’t have wanted to compete with the current studio album they were still promoting! The price is the only issue. Even after all these years, Chronicles is still found for over $20, unless you go for a used one, much like I did!
It’s always risky buying a compilation album from a label “series”. Yesterday, we looked at a Judas Priest compilation from Sony’s Steel Book Series. Over 60 Minutes With… was a CD-only (no tapes, no records) series by Capital/EMI in the late 80’s and early 90’s. I remember seeing it over Christmas break in ’89, and trying to decide whether to buy it, or Ace Frehley’s Trouble Walkin’. (I went with the Ace, and saved the Helix for a month or two later.) I was confused: Here was a brand new Helix CD, with Brent “The Doctor” Doerner right there on the front cover. But hadn’t he left the band? He had, but that was how I could tell this was a semi-official release, driven by the label.
The difference between Over 60 Minutes With…Helix and all the other label compilations is that this one is really, really good. In fact to this day, it is still the one of the best Helix compilations assembled (and it was the first!). Here are some reasons:
1. Rare tracks! Three of them in fact. You get demos for “Give It To You” (a new song re-recorded for the Back For Another Taste CD), “Jaws Of The Tiger” (re-recorded for B-Sides) and “Everybody Pays The Price” (later to be the B-side to “The Storm”).
2. Lots of hits. 21 tracks are contained within, and a good solid six of them were hit singles.
Those two points are enough reason to buy this CD (especially the first). Let’s keep listening.
3. Rocker-to-ballad ratio is a generous 17 : 4. Keep me mind, Helix ballads tend to rock anyway. “Never Wanna Lose You” gets pretty heavy come chorus time!
4.Loads of tunes from No Rest for the Wicked. When this CD came out in ’89, that album was unavailable on CD and scarce on cassette. This CD has seven songs from No Rest! That album, loaded with rockers heavy and melodic, is still one of their very best today. Even though there were only three unreleased songs on Over 60 Minutes With…, there were tons that were brand new to me.
That considered, Over 60 Minutes With… has one serious flaw. The record company only included songs from the first three Capitol Helix albums. Obviously nothing from the independent albums Breaking Loose or White Lace & Black Leather were up for grabs. Strangely though, 1987’s Capitol Wild In The Streets CD is strangely missed. The inclusion of one or two tracks from that album would have been appreciated.
Flaw aside, the liner notes are informative and the track listing is still generous. You certainly don’t want to miss album tracks such as the awesome “You Keep Me Rocking”, the raunchy “Dirty Dog” or the slinky “Check Out The Love”. They are here along with many others. Pick this up, enjoy it, and then explore some of Helix’s proper albums, such as No Rest for the Wicked. This is great, but it’s only the beginning! Gimme an R indeed.
mikeladano.com 