Part 58: Klassic Kwotes VII!

1. “This is going to be worth a lot of money, one day.”  Said in regards to Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind” remake single.  Yeah.  He sold about a zillion of them, which people bought multiple copies of (one to play and one to keep sealed!) and now are in every bargain bin across the continent…usually at 99 cents.

2. Phil Lynott proclaimed that “Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town.”  One day while listening to this track at work, Neil retorted:  “Somewhere in this town?  Maybe they should start by checking at the jail.”

3. A wave of the hand.  “You don’t need to see my identification.”  This Jedi mind trick was cast upon me (jokingly, I assure you) by a witty young man after I asked him for ID while selling CDs.  Fortunately, I am a Headbanger.  Mind tricks do not work on me!

4. “I’m buying two CD’s.  Do I get a discount?”  Two discs?  Really? 

5. I came home from work one day with a CD sized bag in my hand.  My very frugal father said to me (in “that tone”), “What did you go and waste your money on this time?”  I said, “Dad, it’s the new album by Kiss!”  His classic response:  “Kiss?  Don’t you already have them?”

I don’t know why he’s flapping his arms

6. While we’re on my dad.  During the Pepsi Power Hour, he used to like to stroll into the living room, heads clasped to his ears in mock agony, and say, “What’s wrong with that man on the TV?  He’s screaming like he’s in pain!  Does he have appendicitis?”

7. Finally, my dad has a penchant for mispronouncing the names of things he dislikes.  For example, “Who is this Lady Googoo person I see on TV?”

8. A guy in a green suit carrying a briefcase walked up to the counter.  “I have to go to court tomorrow and I want some music to get me psyched up.  Do you have the Clockwork Orange soundtrack?”  (Same guy who, another time, asked us, “Do you like the drugs?”)

9. Some questions don’t bug you so much, unless the same person asks the same question over and over again.  One guy kept asking me, “Do you have Black Sabbath, 1991?”  I’d tell him that there is no such album.  In fact 1991 was the first year in several that Sabbath failed to release an album.  “Do you have Black Sabbath, 1991?”  No!  Nobody has it, because that’s a made up name!

10. “Hello, it’s Matt’s mother, would Matt be available?”  This perfectly innocent question was asked of one of our new guys, Chris.  Chris responded, “Yeah, he’s outside having a smoke, I’ll go get him.”  Problem:  Matt’s mother did not know he smoked!

Part 57: Top Five Things A Record Store Smells Like

5.  Hopefully the most obvious one.  Farts! At least when the guy code named “Steven Tyler” or I were working.  We ate a lot of fast food.

4. Fast Food.  We were constantly eating Subway, Lick’s, McDonalds, or Burger King depending on location.  Subway was and always shall be my weapon of choice, but it was BK’s Kong sized triple stacker that made the store smell like beef for days.  Strangely, my addiction to fast food only got worse after seeing Super Size Me.

3. B.O.  If wasn’t the customers, every once in a while, we’d get stuck with a stinky employee. 

2. Rancid Coffee.  One employee who shall go unnamed was prone to drink two or three of the damn things a day, and then throwing her coffee (unfinished) into the garbage (bag).  And then not take out the garbage.  Also, any customer carrying a Tim Horton’s cup always left their empties on the counter, or even classier, on the CD shelves.

1. Air Freshener.  Thank you, Glade.

REVIEW: AC/DC – Backtracks (Deluxe Edition, the big one that comes with the amp!)

 

AC/DC – Backtracks (The Ultimate Box Set) (2009) currently selling for $236.08 at www.acdcbacktracks.com

When this arrived at the house, I couldn’t believe the size of the box! I opened the carefully packed box, and removed the ample cardboard protecting my precious investment. I then removed a plastic and cardboard monstrosity known as AC/DC Backtracks; or, the most awesome kickass box set I have ever seen in my life.

And, it sounds good too!

Before I get into the good stuff (the songs), let me tell you about the box. Yes, it is a working amp, but that’s just a novelty feature. I snapped in the provided 9 volt battery, plugged in my guitar and strummed a chord. Guess what! It sounds like an amp made of cardboard and plastic powered by a 9 volt battery. No big deal. It’s a coversation piece. Like, “Hey, wanna watch this awesome concert DVD from the AC/DC box? Oh, and check it out, I can plug my guitar in it too.”

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Inside I discovered a really sharp hardcover photo book. This thing is huge, and loaded with photos of the band and memorability dating back to time immemmorial. Next to that, a nice big LP-sized case containing all the CDs and DVDs. (3 CDs, 2 DVDs). Up next, the LP:  the highlights from the Studio Rarities CD, in its own sealed sleeve. This was specially mastered for LP. I have not played this yet. I may not open it, I haven’t decided. There was also a poster, and a sealed cardboard envelope carrying mutiple goodies, including a guitar pick, a button, a sticker, and a temporary tattoo amongst myriad paper souvenirs.  (See below this review for a full gallery of photos)

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The thing about this box set, compared to the regular retail version, is the inclusion of an additional DVD and a whole CD’s worth of additional rarities. What makes this especially cool is this: aside from one single (an early single that the band did with original singer Dave Evans), this box set seems to contain every B-side, every single Australian album track, every Japanese, special edition, import, promo, and otherwise non-album song that AC/DC ever released up to 2009. Whew.

I’ve read reviews that said, “The songs are disappointing because they’re not very good, they were left off the albums for a reason.” Not so. They are quite good. Just because some were released on the band’s albums in their home country and nowhere else is not a reflection on quality. Some of these songs are some of my favourites, such as the stompin’ “Rock In Peace”, the hilarious “Crabsody In Blue” and “Cold Hearted Man”. As for the live B-sides and rare tracks…man, I can’t believe how consistantly good this band has been over the decades! Friggin’ incredible that even when you get to songs recorded well into the 90’s, AC/DC still sounded just as good. A later example is the purely smokin’ “Safe In New York City”.

The first DVD is part 3 of the Family Jewels series. It contains a whole bunch of cool music videos that you probably remember from back when MuchMusic actually used to play music videos. These are mostly some of the more recent music videos from the Ballbreaker album and beyond. A few of these I had never seen before, or only once or twice. After those, are rare videos for early tracks with both Bon and Brian. The second DVD is an exclusive to this set, recorded live in 2003 in Germany.

If you’re a truely dedicated fan that eats, breathes, sleeps AC/DC…you’ll be very very happy with this one.

5/5 stars.

Disc 1 – Studio Rarities

No. Title Original release Length
1. “High Voltage” (deluxe edition only) T.N.T. (Australian-only release) (1975) 4:18
2. “Stick Around” High Voltage (Australian release) (1975) 4:40
3. “Love Song” High Voltage (Australian release) (1975) 5:15
4. “It’s a Long Way to the Top” (deluxe edition only) T.N.T. (Australian-only release) (1975) 5:16
5. “Rocker” (deluxe edition only) T.N.T. (Australian-only release) (1975) 2:55
6. “Fling Thing” Jailbreak (7″ single) (1976) 2:00
7. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” (deluxe edition only) Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (Australian release) (1976) 4:11
8. “Ain’t No Fun (Waitin’ Round to Be a Millionaire)” (deluxe edition only) Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (Australian release) (1976) 7:30
9. “R.I.P. (Rock in Peace)” Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (Australian release) (1976) 3:35
10. “Carry Me Home” Dog Eat Dog (7″ single) (1977) 3:58
11. “Crabsody in Blue” Let There Be Rock (Australian release) (1977) 4:43
12. “Cold Hearted Man” Powerage (original European LP pressings) (1978) 3:35
13. “Who Made Who” (deluxe edition only) Who Made Who (7″ single) (1986) 4:50
14. “Snake Eye” Heatseeker (CD single) (1988) 3:16
15. “Borrowed Time” That’s the Way I Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll (CD single) (1988) 3:45
16. “Down on the Borderline” Moneytalks (CD single) (1990) 4:15
17. “Big Gun” Last Action Hero (official movie soundtrack) (1993) 4:20
18. “Cyberspace” Stiff Upper Lip (Australian bonus CD) (2001) 2:58

Disc 2 – Live Rarities I

No. Title Original release Length
1. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” (Live in Sydney, 30 Jan. 1977) Long Live the Evolution (compilation LP) (1977) 5:02
2. “Dog Eat Dog” (Live in Glasgow, 30 Apr. 1978) Whole Lotta Rosie (7″ single) (1978) 4:30
3. “Live Wire” (Live in London, 2 Nov. 1979) Touch Too Much (12″ single) (1980) 5:05
4. “Shot Down in Flames” (Live in London, 2 Nov. 1979) Touch Too Much (12″ single) (1980) 3:39
5. “Back in Black” (Live in Landover, MD, 20 Dec. 1981) Let’s Get It Up (12″ single) (1982) 4:21
6. “T.N.T.” (Live in Landover, MD, 20 Dec. 1981) Let’s Get It Up (12″ single) (1982) 3:58
7. “Let There Be Rock” (Live in Landover, MD, 20 Dec. 1981) For Those About to Rock (7″ single) (1982) 7:30
8. “Guns for Hire” (Live in Detroit, MI, 17 Nov. 1983) Who Made Who (7″ single) (1986) 5:21
9. “Sin City” (Live in Detroit, MI, 17 Nov. 1983 – deluxe edition only) Nervous Shakedown (12″ single) (1984) 5:30
10. “Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution” (Live in Detroit, MI, 17 Nov. 1983) Nervous Shakedown (12″ single) (1984) 4:15
11. “This House Is On Fire” (Live in Detroit, MI, 17 Nov. 1983) Nervous Shakedown (12″ single) (1984) 3:25
12. “You Shook Me All Night Long” (Live in Detroit, MI, 17 Nov. 1983) You Shook Me All Night Long (12″ single) (1986) 3:30
13. “Jailbreak” (Live in Dallas, TX, 12 Oct. 1985) Shake Your Foundations (12″ single) (1986) 13:22
14. “Shoot to Thrill” (Live at Donington, 17 Aug. 1991) – deluxe edition only) Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (CD single) (1992) 5:30
15. “Hell Ain’t a Bad Place to Be” (Live at Donington, 17 Aug. 1991 – deluxe edition only) Live (Japanese version) (1992) 4:37

Disc 3 – Live Rarities II

All of these tracks are on the deluxe edition only, except where noted.

No. Title Original release Length
1. “High Voltage” (Live at Donington, 17 Aug. 1991) Highway to Hell (CD maxi single) (1992) 9:25
2. “Hells Bells” (Live at Donington, 17 Aug. 1991) Highway to Hell (CD maxi single) (1992) 5:57
3. “Whole Lotta Rosie” (Live at Donington, 17 Aug. 1991) Hail Caesar (CD single) (1995) 4:45
4. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” (Live at Donington, 17 Aug. 1991) Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (CD single) (1992) 5:00
5. “Highway to Hell” (Live in Moscow, 28 Sep. 1991 – standard edition also) 5 Titres Inedits En Concert (French 5-track CD) (1993) 4:00
6. “Back in Black” (Live in Moscow, 28 Sep. 1991) Big Gun (CD single) (1993) 4:10
7. “For Those About to Rock” (Live in Moscow, 28 Sep. 1991 – standard edition also) Big Gun (CD single) (1993) 6:50
8. “Ballbreaker” (Live in Madrid, 10 Jul. 1996) Stiff Upper Lip (Australian bonus CD) (2001) 4:40
9. “Hard as a Rock” (Live in Madrid, 10 Jul. 1996) Stiff Upper Lip (Australian bonus CD) (2001) 4:50
10. “Dog Eat Dog” (Live in Madrid, 10 Jul. 1996) 3 Live Tracks (No Bull promo CD single) (1996) 4:46
11. “Hail Caesar” (Live in Madrid, 10 Jul. 1996) 3 Live Tracks (No Bull promo CD single) (1996) 5:25
12. “Whole Lotta Rosie” (Live in Madrid, 10 Jul. 1996) Stiff Upper Lip (Australian bonus CD) (2001) 5:27
13. “You Shook Me All Night Long” (Live in Madrid, 10 Jul. 1996) Private Parts (official movie soundtrack) (1997) 3:58
14. “Safe in New York City” (Live in Phoenix, AZ, 13 Sep. 2000 – standard edition also) Safe in New York City (American promo CD single) (2000) 3:55

Family Jewels Disc 3 (DVD)

This DVD picks up where the original 2 DVD Family Jewels set left off (1991).

  1. “Big Gun”
  2. “Hard As A Rock”
  3. “Hail Caesar”
  4. “Cover You in Oil”
  5. “Stiff Upper Lip”
  6. “Satellite Blues”
  7. “Safe in New York City”
  8. “Rock ‘n’ Roll Train”
  9. “Anything Goes”

Bonus videos

  1. “Jailbreak”
  2. “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll)”
  3. “Highway to Hell”
  4. “You Shook Me All Night Long”
  5. “Guns for Hire”
  6. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (live)
  7. “Highway to Hell” (live)

Bonus features

  1. “The Making of “Hard as a Rock”
  2. “The Making of “Rock ‘n’ Roll Train”

Live at the Circus Krone 2003 DVD

  1. Introduction
  2. “Hell Ain’t a Bad Place to Be”
  3. “Back in Black”
  4. “Stiff Upper Lip”
  5. “Shoot to Thrill”
  6. “Thunderstruck”
  7. “Rock ‘n’ Roll Damnation”
  8. “What’s Next to the Moon”
  9. “Hard as a Rock”
  10. “Bad Boy Boogie”
  11. “The Jack”
  12. “If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It)”
  13. “Hells Bells”
  14. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”
  15. “Rock ‘n’ Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution”
  16. “T.N.T.”
  17. “Let There Be Rock”
  18. “Highway to Hell”
  19. “For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)”
  20. “Whole Lotta Rosie”

Rarities 180 Gram LP

Side A

  1. “Stick Around”
  2. “Love Song”
  3. “Fling Thing”
  4. “R.I.P (Rock in Peace)”
  5. “Carry Me Home”
  6. “Crabsody in Blue”

Side B

  1. “Cold Hearted Man”
  2. “Snake Eye”
  3. “Borrowed Time”
  4. “Down on the Borderline”
  5. “Big Gun”
  6. “Cyberspace”

REVIEW: Ozzy Osbourne – Blizzard of Ozz (2011 deluxe edition)

The past:

When Ozzy and Sharon first reissued this album (and Diary) with bonus tracks in 2001, it was a bit of a travesty. Y’see folks, Sharon’s a great manager, there is no doubt out that. But she also holds legendary grudges. So when original Blizzard of Ozz members Lee Kerslake and Bob Daisley had the audacity to sue the Osbournes for unpaid royalties, they responded by erasing their bass and drum parts on the last reissue, and having them replaced by Rob Trujillo and Mike Bordin.

Some people will say, “Oh come on, those versions don’t sound bad, they sound good to me.” Sure, casual Oz-fans might not notice the difference because they don’t know how it’s supposed to sound. You can tell the difference. All the subtle nuances of the rhythm performances are missing.

As an added insult, Sharon said, “Because of Daisley and Kerslake’s abusive and unjust behaviour, Ozzy wanted to remove them from these recordings. We turned a negative into a positive by adding a fresh sound to the original albums.” Fresh sound? Isn’t that like George Lucas claiming that Star Wars was better when Greedo shot first?

The present:

You can’t mess with a classic so I’m pleased to report that Ozz and Sharon have done the right thing, and reissued the original Blizzard of Ozz.

I’ve always loved Blizzard. My favourite Ozzy record? Yeah, this and Diary for sure. I still remember hearing these songs for the first time on the Randy Rhoads Tribute, and thinking that Ozzy truly had an amazing catalogue of classic tunes here.  I do think the live recordings are superior. Randy’s guitar had more bite on them. But you can’t go wrong with Blizzard. Every song here — every tune! — is a classic! From the obvious classics (“Crazy Train”, “I Don’t Know”, “Mr. Crowley”) to the less familiar to the unitiated, this is just an awesome record. Written and produced by the quartet of Ozz, Randy, Lee and Bob, this was exactly what Ozzy needed to release after being sacked by the Sabs — aggressive with stunning guitar, but a hell of a lot of melody. And while it is indeed a riffy album, it is different by a wide margin from his Sabbath origins. The riffs here, rather than being rooted in power chords on the 7th fret, are nimble and verbose, thanks to Randy Rhoads.  (And that’s not a slight against Iommi, just an observance of difference.)

Bonus tracks: “You Looking At Me, Looking At You” is back on this edition, in its original version without the re-recorded instruments. This, then, is its CD debut. It is one of the more comercial tunes, and certainly worthy of another look-see. Then there is a new mix of “Goodbye To Romance” which strips the song down to Ozz’s voice and Randy’s multi-layered guitars. It is interesting but not essential to the casual fan. It does reveal the strength and expression of Ozzy’s young voice, and of course Randy’s intricate chordings. Lastly “RR” is a previously unreleased Randy solo, an alternate (mindblowing solo) excised from “I Don’t Know”. Brief but great bonus track!

There are a handful of nice photos, but no liner notes. Shame, that.

5/5stars!

Part 56: Top Five Flops

This isn’t some definitive list or anything like that.  Just five memories that stand out among the others:  my Top Five Flops.

#5. The Rolling Stones – Bridges to Babylon.  I know this album didn’t sit well for a few people, but we just flat out ordered too many.  They started coming in used within days and before too long, we had so many used copies that they were starting to show up in bargain bins.  Never a good sign when you’re the so-called greatest rock and roll band on Earth.

#4. Van Halen – III.  Same deal.  We ordered 50 copies.  I don’t know why.  This one was going to be a flop even before it was released.  Gary Cherone had no marquee value whatsoever in 1998.  We ordered 50, we ended up selling (probably) 5.

#3.  Hole – Live Through This.  Yes, it was huge in 199x, but by the late 90’s, you would have been a fool to pay more than $5.99 for this stinker, such was the frequency of the trade-ins.

#2. Titanic – Soundtrack.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  One of the biggest soundtracks of all time.  Well, as soon as Celine put out her own album with “My Life Will Go On” on it, the trade-ins began.  At one point we were bundling it with DVDs and VHS tapes just to get it out of the store.

#1.  Spin Doctors – Turn It Upside Down.   I recall at one point we had something like 20 copies, used, in stock.  We couldn’t give it away even for $3.99.  I wouldn’t know from listening to it, but I am pretty sure that it sucks.   It sold so infrequently, that I would be willing to bet that there are still copies in the 10-15 year-old-range, sitting there unsold today.

REVIEW: Whitesnake – Live At Donington 1990 (2CD/1DVD)

 

 

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Whitesnake – Live At Donington 1990 (2CD/1DVD)  (2011)

Back in 1989-1990 when Steve Vai was in Whitesnake, I was a huge fan of both. This was like a dream come true for me. Vai’s Passion & Warfare album, still one of the greatest guitar instrumental albums of all time, changed my entire musical landscape. Vai stretched the boundaries not just of guitar, but of mainstream music in general. Team him up with the very mainstream Whitesnake and you have a really fascinating combination. Did it work? Sometimes! But, I think in 1991 when Coverdale disbanded the ‘Snake for the first time, he wouldn’t have wanted this live album to be his band’s legacy. It’s far removed from the blues-rock at his heart.

So now decades later, we finally get to hear the legendary 1989-1990 lineup of Coverdale, Vai, Adrian Vandenberg (guitar), Rudy Sarzo (bass), and Tommy Aldridge (drums). And we get to see it too, on the included DVD. This 3-pack is definitely the best economical choice for acquiring Donington 1990.

Musically, it’s a wild ride. It’s not the Steve Vai show. Adrian gets just as many solos, and his are still spine-tingling if more conventional. It is loaded with ‘Snake hits, leaning heavily on the three Geffen albums. In fact there is only one pre-Slide It In song included: The Bobby “Blue” Bland cover “Ain’t No Love in the Heart of the City”.  And, since it is also the pre-grunge era, there are plenty of solos, which today seems excessive.  Aldridge does his drum solo at the end of “Still Of The Night”. Vandenberg gets his “Adagio for Strato”/”Flying Dutchman Boogie”. Most excitingly, Steve Vai performs two songs from his then-brand new (and top 40!) album Passion And Warfare: “For The Love Of God” and “The Audience Is Listening”, with Aldridge on drums. Coverdale even introduces him as “Mr. Passion and Warfare!” so I imagine there was no sour grapes that Vai’s album was doing so well. And lemme tell ya folks — the audience WAS listening, and going nuts too!

As far as the ‘Snake tunes go, this lineup works best on the more space-aged music from the recent Vai-helmed Slip Of The Tongue. When they dip back to older John Sykes-era music…well, it’s weird hearing Vai replace those blazing Sykes solos with his own slippery concoctions. It’s amazing to listen to. Is it the “right” sound for this band? Clearly, no. But it was what it was.

Of note, Coverdale’s voice was in pretty rough shape at the start of the 90’s. It’s much stronger now, but here it is rough, leathery, and worn.

While this album won’t be considered Whitesnake’s live peak (that would be the Sykes era, although they are still very strong today too), it is definitely an essential part of the story. And it’s so long overdue, hard to believe that a live album with Vai was sitting in the cans for so long. And it doesn’t sound too bad. It sounds like it was recorded at a massive outdoor festival (which it was), flaws and all.

The DVD included would have been better released on VHS back in 1991, because at times it is very fuzzy, especially in long shots. What can you do? It was the technology of the time. Just be forewarned. It’s wonderful to see Vai teasing the audience, hiding behind his guitar, and playing acrobatics with it. It’s worth having, just don’t expect anything that will look as sharp as a modern live DVD.

4/5 stars. Long awaited, though imperfect.

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Part 55: Groupies

Hello, all, when we last met, we were talking about a weird record store stalker.  Today, we’re going to be talking about record store groupies.

Now, I dunno about other guys.  I didn’t have too many groupies.  (Spoogecakes does not count as a groupie, as she was not a customer, just a psycho employee.) Some of the girls did.  I remember Ashleigh had a couple admirers that we fondly referred to as “the Trekkies”.  Me, on the other hand…I had Tall One and Short One.

Problem:  If memory serves, Tall One was about 15, and Short One was about 16.  I was about 30.  

But the really weird thing is that Tall One and Short One had both simultaneously shitty, and awesome musical taste.   It was like…Schrödinger’s taste.  In the same transaction, they would purchase both Steve Vai, and the Moffats.  They later graduated on to Kiss.

Second weird thing.  That was a decade ago, and bizarrely through Facebook we re-contacted.  Tall One even came to my pre-wedding garage sale and bought some of my crap!  A lot of my crap, actually.

Everybody used to give me a hard time about Tall One and Short One, because they used to come in all the time, but I couldn’t be mean to them.  Well, I was mean a couple times, I had to tell them to get lost I was busy.  But then other times, they would come in with a huge box of Crispy Creme donuts.  That time, I remember I ate four in a row.

“You ate four in a row?” Short One later said.  “Do you know that each donut is like eating two Big Macs?”

“Uhhh…no?” I said.

“Congratulations, you ate eight Big Macs.  Those were for everybody!  Did you share?”

“Uhhh…a couple.”

So there you go.  I’m sure other record store guys have better groupie stories.  But did they get Cripsy Creme?  Exactly!

Part 54: Stalkers

Flashback: July 1994.

When I first started at the store, my first day, my new boss gave me the orientation.  We were both young, early 20’s.   It went very well.  I was excited.  I’ll never forget one thing he said:

I think you’ll find that it’s hard work, but rewarding and fun work.  You get to listen to music while you work, the discount is really good, and you’ll meet so many girls here.  Trust me, this is the best place to meet them.

That proved not to be the case.

Flash forward:  June 2004.

In the 10 years since, I had not once — not even once! — dated a girl through work.  Granted I’m kind of an idiot when it comes to girls.  Never did know how to talk to them without sounding like the biggest idiot in the world.  Also I somehow pick up a stutter when talking to them.

Anyway, year after year, I stuttered my way through a decade of probably talking like an idiot in front of hundreds of female customers.

One sunny afternoon in June, I was working the late shift.  It was a really nice day, a “windows open” kind of day.

I was working with this guy Matt.  Around 6 or so, I had to step out to pick up some boxes from another location.  Rush, “Summertime Blues” was on the radio, the first time I ever heard it.  When I returned to the store about 45 minutes later, I said, “Matt!  Holy shit man, I just heard the new Rush from their covers album.  It’s amazing man!”

Ignoring me, he said,”Did you see those two blonde girls in the store before you left?”

I said, “Yeah, the two hot ones?”

Matt responded, “Well one was hot, the other looked like the Angry Walrus.  That one left you a note.”

He handed me a piece of yellow paper with a kitten on it.  It just said “Paula” and then a phone number.

“Seriously?” I asked him.

“Seriously.  I wouldn’t make something like this up, man.”

Good enough for me.  The one he referred to as “the so-so one” looked good to me!  The glorious prophecy of my boss has come true!

I called the number on the paper and we agreed to go out for coffee.  I asked her about the note she left, I told her that’s never happened to me before.  She told me she was there with her friend, she noticed me there, but I left before she could hand me the note personally.  So she asked Matt if he could give me her note.

We went out four or five times, but it clearly wasn’t happening.  And that’s where it gets weird.

When she sent me the “Let’s just be friends,” email, she added a double whammy for me.  She told me that the story about seeing me in the store and leaving the note was actually a frabrication.

See, she’d see my profile on some site somewhere, and I must have said that I worked in a record store in the tri-city area.  Rather than get an account and send me a message like a normal person would, she tried something different.

“Well,” she began, “in your profile you said you worked in a CD store.  You said you were from the KW-Cambridge area.  There was a picture of you there, so I figured I could just checking stores until I found you.”  Pardon?  “I’m sorry I lied about just walking in and seeing you there.  Anyway, you’re cool and I’m cool but it’s just not happening, so…”

So…that was mildly creepy and I didn’t feel so bad about it not working out after that!

REVIEW: Triumph – Stages (1985 vinyl)

TRIUMPH – Stages (1985 RCA)

“When The Lights Go Down”, Canada’s Triumph hits the stage. This album, recorded before their descent into mediocrity, is one of the first double live albums I ever got and is still one of my favourites. The band are tight, there’s a hot guitar solo and just about every hit the band ever had. The band are both singing and playing great, and as icing on the cake, they threw in two new studio tracks (one decent, the other bland).

The decent:  “Mind Games” — Gil sings, but does not play drums due to his “annual arm injury”. Gary McCracken, ex-Max Webster, on drums! Can’t get much better than that. This is a great song with a fantastic double-tracked guitar hook.

The bland: “Empty Inside” — pure filler with Rik on vocals. No drummer, as this is a drum machine.  Slow, slow, slow.  Terrible song, terrible way to end an otherwise fine album. Hints of what was to come.

Live highlights for me included “Never Surrender”, an explosive “Fight The Good Fight”, and the double-whammy of “Spellbound” and “Follow Your Heart” (both singles from Thunder Seven).   I think “Hold On” is a bit sappy, although here it is stripped down to a purely acoustic arrangement.

There’s a bonus track on the vinyl, not included on any CD edition of the album.  Therefore, buy the CD at your own discretion.  It’s “Allied Forces” – a wicked version, too.  Gil’s drum solo, “Druh Mer Selbo” (Get it?) is on the CD, but not listed — it’s tacked onto “A World of Fantasy”.  On the LP it was a separate track.  The annoying thing is that there is enough room on a CD for “Allied Forces”, it still comes in under 80 minutes.  I made a CD myself with the entire track list and it fit just fine.

This live album was culled from various shows ’81-’84, so you get a great cross section of key tracks and performances. Yet it is very even sounding, and you can’t really tell that the sources are years apart. It is well mixed and mastered, and it is the Triumph album I play the most.

4/5 stars.

Side 1 LP 1

  1. “When the Lights Go Down” (Gil Moore, Michael Levine, Rik Emmett) – 6:00
  2. “Never Surrender” (Rik Emmett, Michael Levine, Gil Moore) – 6:43
  3. “Allied Forces” (Gil Moore, Michael Levine, Rik Emmett) – 5:07
  4. “Hold On” (Rik Emmett) – 4:21

Side 2 LP 1 

  1. “Magic Power” (Rik Emmett, Michael Levine, Gil Moore) – 6:12
  2. “Rock & Roll Machine” (Gil Moore) – 10:20
  3. “Lay it on the Line” (Rik Emmett) – 5:03

Side 1 LP 2

  1. “A World of Fantasy” (Rik Emmett, Michael Levine, Gil Moore, Tam Patrick) – 4:18
  2. “Druh Mer Selbo” (Gil Moore) – 4:12
  3. “Midsummer’s Daydream” (Rik Emmett) – 2:42
  4. “Spellbound” (Gil Moore, Michael Levine, Rik Emmett) – 3:56
  5. “Follow Your Heart” (Gil Moore, Michael Levine, Rik Emmett) – 3:37

Side 2 LP 2

  1. “Fight the Good Fight” (Rik Emmett, Michael Levine, Gil Moore) – 7:36
  2. “Mind Games” (Gil Moore, Michael Levine, Rik Emmett) – 4:49
  3. “Empty Inside” (Rik Emmett, Michael Levine, Gil Moore) – 4:04