#1136: Prophets of Disaster

RECORD STORE TALES #1136: Prophets of Disaster

A teaser for the 30th Anniversary story & video of my hiring at The Beat Goes On

From day one at the Record Store, there were always the doomsayers.  The people who expected us to go under any day now.  The prophets of disaster, who say the ship is lost.  It was almost like they wanted us to fail.

“How’s business?” people would ask.  My boss taught us to always answer this question simply.  “When people ask you how business is going, just answer ‘good’.  Don’t tell them you’re having a great day, or a slow day, or offer any details of any kind, OK?  Just say ‘business is good’.  That’s all.”  This was very shrewd.  If someone sniffed out that there was a lot of cash in the register, you could have just made your store a target for a break-in.  And, of course, you never wanted to give the impression that business was slow, even if the store was empty.  “Always look busy,” the boss told us.  “Don’t let the customers see you leaning and chatting behind the counter.  Always be filing, organising, cleaning.”

When I first started working alone in late 1994, at Stanley Park Mall, I encountered my first doomsayer.

“So, I heard you’re closing soon,” said the man as I rang in his cassette purchase.

I took a moment, and answered simple, “Not that I know of.”

“I heard this place is going to be a shoe store,” he responded.  I shook my head no.

Of course I told my boss about this encounter.  I didn’t think we were in danger, but I did think he should know what people were saying.

He shook his head.  “Mike, people have been saying that since the week I opened.  They said we wouldn’t last a month.  Then they said we wouldn’t last a year.  That was three years ago.  See, this is why I told you never to say anything other than ‘business is good’.”  Smart man.  The thing about it that bothered me is these people sometimes seemed to be taking pleasure in telling me we were going out of business.  Like, what did we ever do to you?  Lowball you on a CD you sold to us?  How about supporting your local business?

I bet those guys loved going to Future Shop to buy their music.  They always had plenty of Skynyrd, cheap.

It kept happening, when I moved to manage my own store in the Canadian Tire plaza in 1996.

“I hear you guys will be closing soon,” said one guy.

Deciding to play with him, I answered, “No, we close at 9:00.  Lotsa time.”

“No, I mean I hear you guys will be going out of business soon.”

“We just opened three months ago,” I answered, smiling politely.

“Lotsa luck,” said the guy as he left, buying nothing.

That store is still open today, in a new unit at the same plaza.

At one point, there was a rumour going around that one of the unpopular employee’s dads was going to buy us out.  A few people were spooked by that.  I considered for a moment, but told them, “I’ve seen the old beater that he drives.  He drives her to and from work.  He doesn’t look like he’s swimming in excess cash.”

This July will be 30 years since I started working at that store in Stanley Park Mall.  While we weren’t exactly winning the lottery at that location, we definitely did well enough for the owner to expand to the many locations he has today.  He could not have done that if the original store was not a success.  Thanks to a lot of hard work (including two years of dedication at that location from me), he thrived and grew.  No matter what the naysayers claimed they heard.

I really don’t get it.  We’re supposed to be supporting local.  Why did some people seem to want us to fail?  Did they find a cassette tape cheaper at Zellers?  Was it personal?  I’ll never know.

REVIEW: Queen – “We Will Rock You” and “We Are the Champions” Ruined By Rick Rubin EP (1991)

QUEEN – “We Will Rock You” and “We Are the Champions” Ruined By Rick Rubin EP (1991 Hollywood Basic)

Mercifully, it’s short.  But did they know they were making a piece of shit?  “Ruined by Rick Rubin”.  “Mix Engineer Under Protest: Brendan O’Brien”.  “Engineering and Additional Bad Ideas:  Jason Corsano”.  Those are the actual credits.  They had to know these remixes were awful.  Connecting the dots, this remix EP must have been the brainchild of Hollywood records.

Rubin claims that “We Will Rock You” was a perfect record already, so he thought “I can’t improve upon it, I may as well throw the whole kitchen sink at it,” more or less.  This was a single that went along with the 1991 reissue of News of the World, which included the first remix here as a bonus track.  Not much of a bonus, really!

“We Will Rock You” begins with the sound of a scratchy record, then the handclaps, before everything goes bonkers.  A droning sound is accompanied by drum loops.  This goes on for a while, with the original track playing underneath, guitar solo and all.  Then it explodes with additional drums by the Chili Peppers’ Chad Smith (credited here for “bombastic skin attack”.  Flea is on additional bass (credited as “supercharged bass from hell”).  Records scratch, people shout “yeah” (or “blah” or something), until it is mercifully all over after an agonizing five minutes.  One of the worst remixes in music history.

It gets worse.  An instrumental remix follows.  This is just the loops and scratches, and whatever samples thrown in.  There are things that sound like horns, and more of that droning sound.

The next track ruined by remixes is “We Are the Champions”.  This version is blasphemous.  A rapper chants, “Aint it funky!” between Freddie’s lines.  The pointless loops and additional bullshit are present and accounted for.  The choruses are relatively intact, but forget about the verses.  Did “We Are the Champions” need drum loops and reggae dubbed in?  Unlistenable.

Back to “We Will Rock You” with the “Big Beat A Capella”.  This means the vocal track from the song, without the handclaps, but stupid drums (and even steel drums) looped over.  Steel drums on “We Will Rock You”.

Finally, there is the “Zulu Scratch A Capella” remix of “We Will Rock You” and I don’t even wanna bother.  It’s mostly just the vocal track with minor manipulations and a few scratches.  The only good thing about it is its brevity.

This remix EP is for collectors only.  If you’re a Queen completist, or a Red Hot Chili Peppers diehard who has to have every note that Flea farted out, go for it.  Everyone involved should be embarrassed about this flaming turd, and judging by the credits, I think they are.

0/5 stars

#1135: The Triumph and the Tragedy – Cottage Weekend June 20-23

“I am inevitable.” – Thanos.  Also my CD shelves.

I couldn’t wait to get my drone in the air when I got to the cottage.  We made it up in good time, all to the soundtrack of the Beaches.  I managed to pick up their first two EPs in Toronto with Aaron the week prior (paying through the teeth).  With very little traffic to deal with, we ran through The Beaches, Heights, and Blame My Ex before arrival.  Then it was time to fly!

We only had two good days for flying, Thursday and Friday.  It started to get rainy on Saturday which made it the proverbial “indoor day“.  Still, we celebrated our three day weekend with great food and excitement.  It was a brilliant weekend for nature sightings.  We spotted plenty of the usual chipmunks and squirrels, but we were treated to a rafter of wild turkeys, who lingered long enough to be filmed.  There was even a curious seagull who swooped in to check out my drone.  We also spotted our unafraid fox, Eric, who strolled directly past us twice without fear or hurry.  I was unable to get my camera out either time, which is a shame.  He was mere feet away.

My Amazon delivery this time was a new landing pad for my drone.  I discovered that landing in the grass was difficult, so the landing pad gives me a flat square anywhere I go.  Amazon showed up during my interview with author Angie Moon on Grab A Stack of Rock, which was funny to me.  Until recently, if you wanted something like that you’d have to wait until you got home to the city.  Now, Amazon can be there next day.  Unbelievable!  For most of my young life there, we didn’t have phones or cable TV.  Now we have wi-fi and Amazon delivering priority parcels in the afternoon.  I cannot say that I mind.  One thing that I used to miss during my teenage cottage weekends was access to my friends and record stores.  Now they’re all there at a touch of a button.

The drone footage was exceptional, and made up the bulk of the video for the trip.  And why not?  It’s my new toy and I love it.  It’s so easy and intuitive to use.   It has given me more options for being creative.  I simply could not wait to get home and start editing my new video.

And that’s when disaster struck.

What happened?  Watch the video….

Music credits:

  1. “You’re All Heart” by The Candidates
  2. “Annie Waits” by Ben Folds
  3. “Cash Money” by The Candidates
  4. “Leave You Now” by Gypsy Jayne
  5. “Blind” by Dr. Kathryn Ladano

 

Tim Durling’s Guide to Kansas Compilations – Grab A Stack of Rock with Mike & Jex

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike, Jex & Tim

Special Edition Episode: Tim Durling’s Guide to Kansas Compilations

Folks, we have a great live episode of Grab A Stack of Rock coming up this Friday.  Yes, today’s mini-episode is essentially a teaser to another episode, but it’s is also a great standalone in its own right.  Thank you Tim Durling for sharing some of your collection with us today.

For this instalment, Tim Durling, author of the new book Let It Be Your Guide – The Kansas Album Review (buy in the link), guides us through the essential Kansas compilations if you are new to the band.  Starting with the original 1984 best-of and its variants, we go through the decades to the present day.  Compilations vary in size and scope.  From single discs, to doubles and even a triple, Tim has a Kansas recommendation for every appetite.  Perhaps you’re just looking for the classic era up to 1984.  Or, maybe you need representation for the Steve Morse years of the late 1980s for your Kansas listening.  If you’re really going for it, you may as well pick one that covers the whole career.

Check out what Tim has on offer to get your Kansas collection started.  And, of course, check out Friday’s show when we go into the book in detail!


Friday July 5 at 4:00 PM EST / 5:00 PM Atlantic

Teaser

Grab A Stack of Rock – Special Vinyl Unboxing with James Kalyn of the KMA!

Jen and I were B-Side Ourselves to find that James Kalyn had sent me some surprise vinyl when I was feeling down and low.  It so happened James was available on Friday night for an unboxing.  So that’s what we did!  What did he send?  Here are some clues:

  • 180 gram coloured splatter vinyl
  • Reissue of a 1992 EP
  • Pretty good covers EP by a major band of the era
  • 1/5 Canadian content

Any guesses?  Watch the video!

 

 

Lake Huron at 190 feet! Lorne Beach in 4K – Kincardine/Tiverton Ontario – to the tune of “Billy Oxygen” by Helix

I’ve been out of action since Sunday, for reasons that will be shared soon. (The WordPress “community” didn’t even notice that I haven’t posted in four days for the first time since 2018, thanks guys, “community” is dead!)  Disasters and existential crises aside, the morning of Friday June 21 was perfect for flying a drone.  The drone was almost taken out by a seagull (1:20 of the video), all to the space-exploring soundtrack of “Billy Oxygen” by Helix.

While I try to get things back to “normal” here, enjoy the video.  I’ll be working on video editing all weekend.  The cottage video from last weekend will explain what happened.

 

Rock Daydream Nation: Deep Purple – Desert Island Steve Morse Albums

This is a show I was made for! Spoiler alert: Regular readers already know my favourite Steve Morse era Deep Purple album.  I was already trying to kickstart a Purple collection when he joined the band in 1995.  His addition made me a completist – had to get every album.  And, within a few years of his joining, I achieved and maintained that.  Morse’s additional made me a superfan.  I just love when a band has a significant lineup change that actually works.  Deep Purple was transformed into something a little different, but just as good.  Just new flavours in the soup.  A new freedom to experiment and stretch out.  It wouldn’t have worked if the band couldn’t write new songs with the new axeman, but their chemistry flourished over seven studio original studio albums.

Now that Steve is gone from the band, and they are carrying on with another new ingredient in Simon McBride, it is a perfect time to look back upon the Morse era.  Joining myself and Peter Kerr on Rock Daydream Nation is “Music Swami” Pete Jones.  Together, we passionately discuss three favourite albums, and the key tracks that you need to check out for yourself.  We don’t just shower praise, but we break down and analyze.

Here’s what Mr. Kerr has to say:

Rock Daydream Nation is joined by Peter Jones (The Contrarians) and Mike Ladano (Grab a Stack of Rock) to choose their desert island Deep Purple album featuring Steve Morse….Are any of these albums better than Deep Purple Ritchie Blackmore?
Check out the show!

Crime of the Century! Angie Moon explains her new Classic Rock / True Crime book

Mama, just killed a man!  Learn all about musicians who killed, artists with mob connections, murders and money laundering, oh my!  Angie Moon has written the book:  Crime of the Century – Classic Rock and True Crime.  In this one-hour interview, Angie informed Jex Russell and I on so many topics!

  • Jack Ruby & the Band
  • DEVO’s connection with true crime
  • Dennis Wilson & Charles Manson
  • The excellent cover art of her book
  • Publishing a book from scratch
  • Social media and promotion
  • The diversity of classic rock
  • The Kinks
  • The White Album
  • And so much more!
  • Thank you Angie and thank you Jex for the education on Grab A Stack of Rock!

You can get your copy now on your local Amazon, or directly from the author.

 

 


Show notes:

Your dad was once a police officer, and later on in life you realized there were no books about true crime and classic rock.  Does that about sum up what started you on this journey?

I like the way the book is formatted.  You have a chapter about a band/crime, and you introduce both the band and the criminal in a way that you don’t need any background knowledge at all.

Jack Ruby and the Hawks (the Band) – sounds like Jack had a reputation and an aura to him?  No surprise the shows they played at his club were poorly attended?

What is it about the Kinks that you love so much?  Can you sum it up?  What do you imagine that party at John Wayne Gacy’s place was like?

I enjoyed your overview of the White Album.  I realize this might be the most difficult question of the interview, but where do you rank that Beatles album in their catalogue?

I didn’t know about Charles Manson’s childhood, and that his alcoholic mother was destitute and spent time in prison.  That had to have an impact on the person he became.  I also had no idea he was studying Scientology.

Reading about how Manson and his girls duped Dennis into staying at his rented mansion, fleecing him for $100,000 worth of generosity, just made me feel sad for Dennis.  He was not a man without his demons.

Are there any classic rock crimes or bands that you just decided to steer clear of for this book?

I did not know that Paul McCartney bought the rights to Buddy Holly’s back catalogue!

It’s the Crime of the Century! Grab A Stack of Rock with Jex and special guest, author Angie Moon!

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Mad Metal Man
Episode 63: Crime of the Century with Angie Moon

Please welcome Angie Moon to the show!  Angie has long been a member of the WordPress community, and is now out with her first book:  Crime of the Century!  It’s all about the connections between classic rock and true crime, and could be the first book of its kind.

This afternoon, co-host Jex Russell and I will talk with Angie about the book, and these fascinating cases of crime intertwined with figures from classic rock history.  The Kinks, the Beach Boys, Debbie Harry, Jimmy Page, Frank Zappa and DEVO are all covered in the book, with an additional section on “musicians who killed”!  It’s a fascinating read.  You’re bound to learn something you didn’t know before on today’s show.

You can get your copy now on your local Amazon, or directly from the author.

Please join us this afternoon for the Crime of the Century!

 

 

Friday June 21 at 3:00 P.M. E.S.T. / 4:00 P.M. Atlantic.   Enjoy on YouTube or on Facebook!

 

PHOTO GALLERY: Vinyl, CDs, DVDs, and Cassettes! Mike and Aaron (and Aaron’s Dad) Return to Toronto 2024! (RST #1134-B)

RECORD STORE TALES #1134-B:  Vinyl, CDs, DVDs, and cassettes! Mike and Aaron (and Aaron’s Dad) Return to Toronto 2024!

 

To read about our Toronto trip, click here.

Here is the full photo gallery of every picture I took, hunting for records in Toronto.  For all our scores, you will have to watch the video at bottom.  Here are the still shots.  Enjoy!

(There’s one awesome photo of Aaron as the 9th Bosstone that he will not let me post!)


Thank you Aaron & Wayne for this awesome trip.