In a nutshell: Ryan Gavalier has created some eerie music! With Halloween now behind us, this sure does remind me of the spooky season! Deftly programming his synths and drum machines, Ryan has composed some very cinematic soundscapes, perfect for those chilling nights when you could swear you heard a sound just outside the window.
You can catch Ryan on his Instagram page, Gavalier Productions. He is a passionate musician with a talent for the electronic.
The cottage is closed, and the challenge begins.
THE DARKNESS – Permission To Land… Again (2023 Box Set)
Once (and perhaps still) considered one of the biggest jokes in rock*, The Darkness have proven ’em wrong, for it was 20 years ago they dropped this bomb on the world called Permission to Land. Regardless of the ups and downs, the band continues on today with a documentary film in the works. Of course, the obligatory box set was also necessary. Permission to Land… Again collects nearly everything from the era and packs it up for you in a 5 disc set perfect for home consumption. And it’s affordable, too.
CD 1 commences with the original 2003 album, a monolith of Queen and AC/DC’s bastard children, brought to life in spandex and bandanas. The album itself spawned four singles:
That leaves six killer album tracks, none of which are filler. Opener “Black Shuck” is a monster (literally), rocking heavy and beating the doors down despite your best efforts. “Givin’ Up” should have been a single, but the language, tisk tisk! Foreshadowing Justin Hawkin’s drug issues, this song is literally about “stickin’ that fuckin’ shit” up his nose. Yes it’s surprisingly delightful, and perhaps the most immediately catchy one on the album. “Stuck In A Rut” is different, blasting fast and loud, with Justin singing at max voice. Back to lighter, catchy territory, “Friday Night” is a certain fan-favourite. It easily could have been another single, as Justin literally reads off his weekly schedule. “Monday, cycling, Tuesday, gymnastics, dancing on a Friday night.” Bopping piano accents will keep feet moving. Moving on to “Love On the Rocks With No Ice” (great title), the slow heavy grind smacks you in the head and reminds you this is a rock and roll band. Despite that, the album closes on a lovely ballad “Holding My Own” which also really could have been a single.
The album on its own earned a 4/5 star rating here previously, though it’s probably at least a 4.5/5. As time has gone by, these songs have proven their mettle. They still stand.
CD 1 is beefed out with six extra songs, all demos, of tracks that didn’t make the album and tracks that did. Speaking of which, they are rough but so similar to the final versions. Some have bits that were later trimmed out or de-emphasized, like keyboard overdubs and intros. “Black Shuck”, though without the hard-hitting production, might be better in some ways than the album version, with more twists and vocals. There is also a demo of “Out of My Hands”, a fine album B-side.
The best inclusions on this disc, however, are the surprises: demos that didn’t make Permission to Land! “Live ‘Til I Die” went unreleased until 2019’s Easter Is Cancelled, but this version has Eddie Graham on drums. This version is very, very different. Much more AC/DC and dare I say, much catchier and better. There’a also an early demo of “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us”, which was finally released on 2012’s reunion album Hot Cakes. This one is much more similar to the glossier final product.
CD 2 is a treasure trove of goodies! Every studio B-side from the album, some non-album singles, some “clean” versions that we wouldn’t purposely seek out to buy; they are all here. (The live B-sides are included with their respective shows, but we’ll get to those.) This is comprehensive as heck.
The three tracks from the very rare 2002 EP I Believe In A Thing Called Love are included: the title track, “Love on the Rocks With No Ice” and “Love Is Only A Feeling”. The recordings themselves are the same as the final album versions, but the mixes are not. These earlier mixes have slight, but audible differences and can be characterised as a bit less finished. The bass may be more pronounced on some places, and backing vocals in another.
Like some British bands before them, such as Oasis, The Darkness seemed to put just as much effort into their B-sides, often making them album (or single) worthy on their own. The complete studio B-sides here are:
This box set is so comprehensive that it even includes the two singles that were not from it.
CDs 3 and 4 contain three live gigs, and the balance of the B-sides from this era. “Gimme a D! Gimme an Arkness!”
The 2003 set at Knebworth is brilliant. Opening with “Growing On Me”, the band has a bizarre and comedic stage presence, but the song kicks! They are a tight band, and a beat is not missed. They play two B-sides, a manic “The Best of Me” (for dancing, says Justin) and the classic “Makin’ Out”. “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” from the Knebworth concert was previously issued on a German version of the Christmas single. I like when Justin asks the audience which version of “Get Your Hands Off My Woman” they’d like to hear, clean or dirty?
On the same disc is a set from the Astoria in 2003. Opening with a raging “Bareback”, this set is even better than the Knebworth one. What a start! Instrumentals can make a pretty killer opener! From there it’s “Black Shuck”, and a live version of “Get Your Hands Off My Woman” that was previously issued as a B-side to a rare DVD single for “Love Is Only A Feeling”. It’s notable for the strange “me-me-me” singalong thing Justin does at the end. Another thing they do in this set is something called “Buffet”, a pretty cool riff, from a part in the show that is explained in the booklet.
Best of all: The action-packed Astoria and Knebworth shows are both included on DVD inside. Watch Dan play all the guitars so Justin can do the splits! The DVD also includes all the music videos, outtakes and behind-the-scenes footage from their music videos. There’s a cute bit in the EPK (electronic press kit) explaining why Justin always asked the audience to see their thumbs. The editing on the Astoria show is absurdly fast!
CD 4 is a full-length show from 2004 at Wembley recorded on Dan’s birthday, and the last show on the tour. It’s especially cool, because the band were already road-testing new songs from One Way Ticket. Opener “Grief Hammer” was a new song that would become a B-side in 2005. It has a stuttery riff with elements of that AC/DC vibe, but the band were clearly moving beyond that pigeonhole. It takes balls to open a set at Wembley with a new song that nobody had heard before. From there they visit more familiar territory with the favourite “Givin’ Up”. A manic “Stuck In A Rut” blasts out immediately afterwards.
Other B-sides played at Wembley include the fan favourite “Makin’ Out”, “Physical Set” and that “Buffet” again! Future classics “Dinner Lady Arms” and “Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time” are rolled out alongside the hits. “Dinner Lady Arms” is a tad harder than the soft-Leppard style of the later version, though the chorus still soars into the stratosphere. “Seemed Like Such A Good Idea at the Time” is presented without introduction, and Justin on piano with a more spare arrangement than the elaborate album version to come. This is more power ballad, and less experiment in extravagance.
As the 17 song set rolls through classics and hits, it’s clear this disc could be a standalone live album if the band choose to release it as such. Great banter, and the band were obviously having a blast on stage. At the end, there are two more surprises. One is an abbreviated cover of “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid, performed solo by Justin on piano. Finally, they close the show with a bombastic “Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)”, which works brilliantly in the end slot. There is no feigning joy and surprise here. All the delight is pure and genuine.
The final ingredient you need in a box set such as this is a kickass booklet with loads of reading. Look no further, as Dan and Justin exhaustively tell the story from session to session and song to song. The stories will keep you in stitches as the band shed light on things you never knew before. Eddie Graham was the most “normal” one of the bunch, but they have survived it all, and the Darkness keep going!
We live in the age of box sets. The Darkness have risen to the occasion with, dare I say it, the perfect version of Permission To Land. Will they pull this trick again in the future with One Way Ticket? They should, because they have demonstrated an understanding of what makes a great box set. In short:
5/5 stars
* One evening in 2003, I was listening to the Darkness with my girlfriend in my living room, late at night, heavily intoxicated. I suddenly jumped and said “I get it! These guys are not a joke at all! They are dead serious about what they are doing! Listen! Just listen!” It was an epiphany and I was right.
ARKELLS – Rally Cry (2018 Universal)
In a sense, Rally Cry is the last Arkells album that was made conventionally. Campfire Chords, Blink Once, and Blink Twice were all recorded during the pandemic. Laundry Pile was unplanned. Rally Cry is the last one recorded during quote-unquote “normal times”. It is 10 songs, 36 minutes, and clearly focused on pop rock with a soul/R&B influence.
This album is loaded with Arkells-style anthems, and leads off with one: “Hand Me Downs”. Their working-class social consciousness creeps into the lyrics, but most people won’t be paying attention when the chorus hits: “Woah-oh-oh!” shouts singer Max Kerman in a fashion he almost could have patented. “Ain’t no shame in some hand-me-downs!” Yet the words are some that any can relate to. “First of the month gets you stressed out, and moving trucks bring you right back.” Musically, this is not that different from the prior album Morning Report, though perhaps more direct.
“American Screams” juxtaposes irresistible dance music with a shot at organized religion. “You got your good book all wrong. You wanna do God’s work, it’s gonna be hard work.” The big thick dance beat though! The thing about Arkells music is that the it is so strong, the lyrics can be ignored if you so choose. It’s way more rewarding to look into what they’re saying. Unfortunately, this single is just three minutes long!
“Relentless” hearkens back to the bands’ youths. Ambitiously, it contains a sample “Sixolele Babe” by South African artist Chicco. The sample is not obvious at all, and somehow fits right in with this pop rock anthem. How do they find these records? Musically illiterate, the Arkells are not.
Moving on momentarily to a more straightforward Arkells sound, “Only For A Moment” is softer, and driven by beats and piano. A good time party tune, but with interesting things going on rhythmically. The lyrics are not too heavy, though the theme is letting your stresses and anxieties go, if only for a moment. Then a U2-like guitar lick chimes forth, while Max sings a melody that Bono could have written (but didn’t). It’s hard not to compare to the Irish quartet; even certain inflections in the voice.
Flip the side of the record, and you are back in the disco with the big single “People’s Champ”. It’s political, but not specifically so. It’s just about a candidate who’s no good: “You’ve got no vision for the long run, you’ve got no sense of history.” And then the chorus, “I’m looking for the people’s champ, and it ain’t you!” And then in the same song: “All my girls say woah-oh! All my dudes go, woah-oh!” So, it’s a rally cry, but it’s also a hell of a good time. And why not? Do you have to be dead serious musically when your lyrics are cutting slices out of the elite? Why not let that bass drum hit! Why not let that bass thump! Tim Oxford and Nick Dika oblige on both counts, while a horn section blasts in your ears.
“Eyes on the Prize” could have been a single too. This is more R&B than rock and roll, with loads of soulful backing vocals. This one sounds autobiographical. “I was repeating conversations with a chip on my shoulder, replaying the scene over and over.” But there’s those upbeat horns and lush backing vocals! Halfway through the song, Max takes us to church. Just like a preacher, he goes off on his tangent. “And the man behind the counter turned up the radio, one of those old AM/FM boomboxes, the kind with the cassettes.” Yes, he really sings that, with the soul backing vocals making it seem like the most important scene you’ve ever heard. Though at its heart, “Eyes on the Prize” is a hit-worth Arkells anthem, it’s chock full of diverse musical ideas, expertly executed. Genius songwriting and performance.
If you’re looking for a perfect summer soundtrack, check out the bass-driven “Saturday Night”. Again, Max’s lyrics are interesting and fun. “You and me talking about conspiracy theories, you said ‘I don’t give a fuck about a man on the moon.'” Again the punchy horns deliver the 80s, like a song right out of the summer of ’85. It sure feels the way I remember. The party comes to a stop on the darker “Company Man”, as the messages return to the forefront. Yet the music goes full 1970s, with rolling drums, bangin’ piano and horns blasting.
Album closer “Don’t Be A Stranger” is catchy, with a big drum beat like an old Beatles song. It ends the album on something of a somber note, but also a hopeful one. There’s a quaint keyboard part that gives it that throwback vibe.
Rally Cry, though musically and lyrically ambitious, does lack the emotional impact of Morning Report and some of the other preceding albums. It is a trade-off. The Arkells are somehow both streamlined, and expanded. The melodic construction of the songs are more emphasized than ever before, but beneath that lie layers of musical experimentation, mostly in the direction of Motown. As such, we don’t get heart-rending slow-burners like “Passenger Seat” from the prior album. The guitar riffs aren’t on the forefront. A good album it is, though perhaps by being so accessible, it loses that challenge that sometimes keeps an album in your deck for decades.
4/5 stars
THE BEATLES – “Now and Then” (2023 single)
I get chills listening to this song. Knowing now the story, about how John’s voice on this old tape was just too buried behind piano to work with, and how technology made it usable again…it is incredible. John Lennon sounds fresh, front and center, as if the vocals were recorded yesterday, even though they were taped in 1977.
It’s also incredible that Yoko Ono handed these tapes off to the surviving Beatles for them to finish. She didn’t have to do that. She could have kept them, and put them out as unfinished solo songs.
George’s slide guitar parts were written in 1995 when the Beatles last tried to tackle this song. Paul and Ringo finished it with drums, bass, acoustic guitars, and strings. Paul felt the strings were very “Beatles”.
The string players had no idea what they were working on. Secrecy was a priority. They were just told they were playing on something for Paul McCartney, but not the Beatles. Can you imagine how the players would have reacted to that?
To me, this sounds like an old Beatles song from the Abbey Road or Let It Be era, that I had somehow forgotten about. It sounds somber – sad, and mournful. It also reminds us of “Free As A Bird” and “Real Love” from the Anthology albums, which underwent similar reworking all those years ago. It is the last Beatles song, and so it should be.
To me it is just incredible that we have one more Beatles song to enjoy.
“Now and Then” will be out on an expanded edition of the Blue album. A necessary purchase for fans who want to relive the days when we was fab. I just wish the artwork for the single wasn’t so drab!
4/5 stars
Snippison and Brainikin’s Excellent Adventure: Chapter One
A Tee Bone Man Multiverse Story
[RECAP READING: The Adventures of Tee Bone Man Chapter 21: Fate of the Brainiac]
“Come on, Padawan! The day isn’t won yet! We don’t rest until every last droid is deactivated!” shouted the Jedi master to his apprentice, as they staggered over boulders and bodies on some battlefield on some planet in a galaxy really far from here.
The apprentice hosltered his laser-boomerang and sighed.
“Master, there are hardly any left! The only ones remaining are service droids and the odd training remote!” The apprentice, though younger, sported a luscious moustache of a man twice his age.
“Don’t get snippy with me, Snippison!” commanded the Jedi master. “The Force tells me there are threats here we have not yet seen. Can’t you feel it too?”
The apprentice closed his eyes and breathed deep. He felt the calm and peace of the light side wash over him, even on this battlefield. “No, master Brainikin. I can’t. Are you sure your senses aren’t…distracted?”
The Jedi master laughed. “Me? Distracted? You must be referring to that spot of trouble we found on Cato Nemoidia. Well as you recall, Snippison…”
“Brainikin! DROP!” shouted the apprentice suddenly. He leaped into the air, his laser-boomerang suddenly alight. Within a second, he had decapitated two probe droids that had snuck up between the rocks. His master sensed the danger, but not the distance. He was distracted indeed!
Fortunately, Jedi padawan Snippison was a more-than-capable apprentice. He swiftly perched himself upon a large boulder, crouched down and reached out with the Force sensing…sensing…
From above, suddenly a Vulture Droid swooped, cannons blazing, far faster than Snippison could throw his boomerang. He leaped. With utter precision, just as the Vulture droid was about to take him, he was airborne! He landed upon the droid’s back, decapitating it with his now-ignited laser boomerang. The droid bleeped something that you might mistake for pain, but was actually circuits burning out, one after another. The droid careened down, and Snippison jumped to safety, only mussing his otherwise perfectly kept hair ever so slightly.
“Well done, padawan,” exclaimed Brainikin. “I feel the battleground is safe for now.”
“That’s three,” answered Snippison as he brushed the dust off his armour.
Unlike the majority of the Jedi order, Snippison wore almost full clone armour into battle. The Jedi council had initially heavily disapproved (especially when Snippison added a series of his own blue identifying marks to it) but had relented, due to the nature of his weapon of choice. Using the laser-boomerang often left him exposed to blaster fire without a reliable way to deflect the shots.
He summoned a hairbrush from a hidden pouch and began grooming his mane. It was intended as a bit of a boastful gesture, but Snippison also knew the importance of hair care.
Brainkin looked down at the ground, and admitted for the first time, he was indeed distracted.
“What is it, master?” asked the apprentice. “Is it your secret marriage to Princess Jennidala? I know that attachment is forbidden.”
Brainikin sat upon a boulder. “No, my friend, though your perceptions are sharp. I am indeed stymied by my inability to find the perfect anniversary gift. What do you get a princess who has the greatest husband?” he shrugged. “But no, my friend. Sit. Talk with me. I am haunted by something far worse than an empty gift box.”
Snippison saw that Master Brainikin was gravely serious. He chose a boulder across from his, and sat, leaning forward in attentive listening position. “Tell me,” he encouraged.
“I’ve been having dreams. Nightmares,” confessed the Master.
He stopped to collect his thoughts. There was a lot of information here he was going to have to unpack.
“I think…I think I have witnessed my own murder…but not my own. This is hard to explain, but did your theory instructors ever mention the Multiverse?”
The padawan cast his mind back. “Once or twice. The theory that the galaxy we live in is but one in an infinite universe, and that universe is but one in an equally infinite multiverse. It never made much sense to me. I was more interested in practical learning.”
The master smiled. “I know you are, young one. But hear me out. What if it were true? What if this was one universe among countless? That means there must be an infinite number of you, and me. Similar, different, a multitude.”
“I don’t know where you are going with this, master,” said the padawan, trying to keep the old Jedi on topic. “You were speaking of dreams.”
“Yes, yes,” answered the master hastily. “I was about to get there. I sought the advice of some of the oldest masters. Unfortunately Master Snowda was offworld, fighting in the Clone War. The only master available to ask was Master Maximus Aximus, and he’s…well, he’s Max the Aximus, isn’t he? A little on the eccentric side. But what he told me was this.” The master took a deep breath. “When we dream at night, we are dreaming of our other selves in another universe, and what I witnessed was my death…at the hands of another you.”
The padawan took a moment to absorb this. Then he smiled. Then he laughed! “Master, you’re pulling my leg!”
Brainkin frowned. Then he looked angry. “No! Snippison! Listen to me!”
The padawan turned stonefaced. He wasn’t joking at all. He said nothing and listened.
“It was you…but not you. You had the same hair…but no moustache. Smooth as a…well, you know the saying. You wielded a boomerang made not of light but of some kind of metal. I had my lightsaber, but I could not feel the Force. I was not a Jedi. Neither were you. Yet we were the same people. The world seemed familiar yet different in the details…and you and I were enemies. You were taunting me, and though I do not understand the meaning of your words, you provoked an emotional response and struck the killing blow. Master Snowda was there by my side as I died, but he was not Master Snowda. He was just a man. And there were others. It was as clear as a scene from a holo film. You killed me, Snippison. Not you, and not me…but still us. And that scene has lived with me every night for a month. I have hidden this from you, and I am sorry. I should have trusted you sooner.”
The younger man took his time absorbing this information. He did not doubt his master’s beliefs, only the significance.
“Master, I believe you,” he began. Start with the good news, he thought. “And I see how traumatic that vision must have been. You have always been by side, and so here I am, by your side.” He stood and stepped next to the older Jedi as if to illustrate his sincerity. “But, you must move beyond these visions. Master Snowda would tell you to keep your mind on the here and now. The Force is mysterious and we know not what it tries to tell us, especially in these dark times. It could have been a Sith vision, as they know you are a key General in this war. Incapacitating you would be a major goal achieved for them. We cannot discount the power of the Sith to do this, nor the…the…” The apprentice took a moment to find the nicest words he could use. “We cannot take the testimony of Master Aximus as if it came from the sacred Jedi texts.”
Master Brainikin smiled. “I knew you would say that,” he laughed. “And I know that is not the strongest part of my story here. My point is not whether or not you believe in Multiverse theory or not. My point is the very reality of the vision has shaken me to my core. Whether it not it was real, it felt so much so, that I can feel the blade of your boomerang even now.”
The younger Jedi thought for some moments. Finally he simply said the words that needed to be said. “I understand, my friend.”
The older man stood. “Let’s get out of here. We have shore leave coming, and you know I’m spending mine with Jennidala.”
“As you should!” encouraged Snippison, as he summoned a Republic transport with a “mission accomplished” signal. “And what are you going to get her?” he prodded.
“And now I’m distracted again! I better check her Amazon.rpb wishlist. Thanks, padawan.”
“My pleasure!” smiled the younger Jedi, as something caught his eye. “Our transport is here,” he pointed, as a Republic Gunship’s distinctive outline could be seen coming over the mountains.
“That was fast,” said Brainikin has he checked his pockets to make sure he had all his equipment. He placed some goggles over his eyes as those Gunships were known to kick up dust, and this planet only seemed to have two things: boulders, and dust.
“Least they could do is pick us up fast, after making us wait three days for pickup during the liberation of Mon Cal,” ribbed the padawan.
“Mon Cal food!” gagged the master.
The young one smiled to himself. He knew Brainikin so well. Having triggered the memories of getting food poisoning from three days of Mon Cal diet, Master Brainikin will be more focused on his upset stomach the whole flight home. Too much discomfort to worry about inconsequential nightmares, or yet another anniversary gift.
The Gunship landed, kicking up as much dust as predicted. The side doors were already open. The two Jedi boarded the craft, took their seats and buckled in.
“I’m a good padawan,” he said to himself under the sound of the engines’ roar.
Master Brainikin puked over the side of the open hatch while Snippison put on some headphones and smiled.
“Mission accomplished!” He shouted to his barfing partner, who responded with a thumbs up.
“This’ll be a fun flight home,” giggled Snippison.
The end.
THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN: PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 
THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN: PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA
THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’
THE WRITER’S ROOM
MICK MARS – “Loyal to the Lie” (2023) single
Mick Mars is finally out with his first solo track since 1994’s “Bittersuite” and it’s a banger.
Too much of a banger?
In this reviewer’s opinion, the song is recorded for more modern tastes. Chunky, downtuned guitars and distorted, unremarkable lead vocals (by Jacob Bunton) characterize this fast, heavy smoker. Everything sounds very processed in a modern way, for punch and impact. Someone more in tune with this sound would rate it higher.
The best part of the song is, expectedly, the guitar solo, but it’s way too short.
Another reviewer may think differently, but “Loyal to the Lie” lacks a few key ingredients: a distinctive singer, and memorable hooks.
Mick shouldn’t have to repeat his past with his former band, but a memorable song would have been nice. Yes, it’s heavy. But heavy only goes so far.
Mick’s album The Other Side of Mars will be out next year, February 23 2024.
2/5 stars
Lineup:
Mick Mars – guitars/bass
Paul Taylor – keyboards
Jacob Bunton – vocals
Ray Luzier – drums
Happy Halloween! On this October 31, what is scarier than poor spelling? Take a look below and see for yourself! These are poorly-spelled search terms that somehow led people to this site. Boo!
Let’s go!
Probably just some big fingers typing on a small screen here – they are obviously looking for Ted Nugent‘s amazing Double Live Gonzo.
Swedish. The word is spelled Swedish.
No comment. I told you that this was happening regularly! Glad I never had to look at this.
Maxi Priest and Shaggy. Maxi Priest and Shaggy. Maxi Priest and Shaggy! Write it 100 times until you get it right!
“Prisoners in Paradise”, you mean? You will not like my review, that’s for sure. Don’t click it.
mikeladano.com 