Joshua Michael Kiszka

WTF Search Terms: More Sexy than Sexy edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XLIII:  More Sexy than Sexy edition

It’s Friday so it’s time for some funny.

WTF Search Terms are those weird words that you typed into a search engine to get here.  Most of the time, people were searching for sex.  From penis pumps to the genitalia of the lead singer of Queen, here are the latest and greatest WTFs!

  • swedish penis pump for sail
  • austin powers enlarge your penis

When I wrote Record Store Tales Part 266, about a novelty “penis pump” that I was given by co-workers, I never expected the hits to keep rolling in.  And…”sail”?

  • vhs porn call for bang

None here, but in Record Store Tales Part 69 (obviously), a porn tape did show up at the store.

  • how big was freddie mercurys cock

This is a question you’re going to have to keep on googling because I do not know or care.

  • is joshua kiszka bi

Greta Van Fleet’s singer?  Don’t know, irrelevant question.

  • japanxxx.dere.fere

I know it’s dirty because xxx is in there.

  • hookers

Possibly linking up to a review for Trailer Park Boys Season 8.

  • calf suck dick

No idea.

  • mary wiseman ass

Multiple searches here.  Mary Wiseman plays the character of Sylvia Tilly on Star Trek: Discovery.  And sadly this is not the first time Mary’s derriere has made this list.

  • english lebrain sex story

My best guess is that some people think “lesbian” is spelled “lebrain”.  Otherwise I’m curious.  I’d like to read this story myself!

  • /de/video/182513/three-teen-striptease-on-webcam

This is now the second time this one has made the list.  How.  The fuck.  Does THAT lead HERE??

See ya next time for more WTFs.

 

REVIEW: Greta Van Fleet – Anthem of the Peaceful Army (2018)

GRETA VAN FLEET – Anthem of the Peaceful Army (2018 Republic Records)

Greta Van Fleet have become one of the most controversial new bands in a dog’s age. They are either lauded or loathed for their slavish adherence to a classic Led Zeppelin niche. It wasn’t cool of them to claim that Aerosmith was a bigger influence — we know the truth. Just like somebody from Kingdom Come claimed he’d never heard Led Zeppelin. It was bullshit in 1988 and it’s bullshit in 2018.

The problem is, Greta Van Fleet are pretty good. They’re young, they’re impressionable, and this is their first real album. Every band should be allowed some leeway so early in their careers. Especially when, in 2018, that classic Zeppelin sound is so refreshing.  They might get young kids into that sound.  When I was 15, I wouldn’t give Led Zeppelin a chance because they looked old-fashioned and the lead singer wore sandals on stage.  I did, however, listen to Kingdom Come.

What makes the band special is singer Josh Kiszka. A voice like this is rare. A younger, smoother Robert Plant, perhaps. He will eventually develop and come into his own. His soaring voice makes “Age of Man” such an impressive opener that you will have to keep going. Its slow, epic quality is unusual for an opener, and sets the tone for an album that might take itself too seriously, but not at the expense of good music.

There’s nothing as blazingly celebratory as “Highway Tune”, but admit it or not, Greta Van Fleet have written an album’s worth of good songs. “Cold Wind” rocks.  It’s loaded with obvious Zeppelin references like an outtake from Physical Graffiti.  They captured a Bonham-esque drum sound to go with it, but haters will be nauseated by Josh’s “ma-ma-ma-ma” improvisations.  “When the Curtain Falls” might have been chosen as a single because it sounds so Zep (with hints of Deep Purple), but it’s not the strongest song here.  They sound better when using tasteful doses of keyboards, like on “Lover, Leaver (Taker Believer)”, an epic and one of the most slammin’ tunes.  (Great slide guitar too.)

Their acoustic “You’re the One” is Zeppelin III oversimplified; a good tune but not enough to fill the shoes it’s trying to be in.  “New Day” is better because it doesn’t adhere to the blueprint.  Also a lil’ different is “Mountain of the Sun”, but Josh’s yodel-like vocal affectations might be too much.  Still, check out the apocalyptic “Brave New World”, definitely a step in the right direction.  It gets a little wobbly again at the end, with a return to the hippie Zeppelin acoustic format.

Anthem of the Peaceful Army is a good album for a debut long-player.  They will have to continue to step it up.  In the meantime, this collection of songs will be spending lots of time in my ears this winter.

4/5 stars

REVIEW: Greta Van Fleet – From the Fires (2017)

GRETA VAN FLEET – From the Fires (2017 Republic Records)

Got 32 minutes to kill?  I have just the thing.

Frankenmuth, Michigan’s Greta Van Fleet won’t be disappearing any time soon, not with the release of their new “double EP” From the Fires.  Double EP?  For simplicity’s sake, we’ll just call it an album.  From the Fires has all four songs from their last EP, Black Smoke Rising, along with four new tracks.  Whatever you want to call it, if you missed Black Smoking Rising, then you’ll wanna get From the Fires ASAP!

Of course you will get their smash hit “Highway Tune”, which is still as exciting as the day we first heard it.  Current single “Safari Song” is first on the new CD.  Greta’s biggest influence is the mighty Zeppelin, and “Safari Song” certainly has that bluesy Zep stomp.  Lots of “oh mamas”.  This mid-tempo rocker is quickly becoming a favourite of the airwaves.

The new “Edge of Darkness” sounds less like Zeppelin, although singer Joshua Kiszka bleeds Robert Plant.  “Edge of Darkness” recalls newer blues rock bands, but the voice immediately sounds like Plant.  Then “Flower Power” brings us back to hippy-era acoustic Zeppelin.  It’s more than a little derivative, but this band is young and only starting out.  Joshua Kiszka really blasts on the slow soulful “A Change is Gonna Come”.  What a singer — someone to keep an eye on!

Some of Greta’s more dramatic tunes appear closer to the end.  “Meet on the Ledge” has a plaintive, epic quality.  Then “Talk on the Street” goes upbeat, with a brilliant thrilling rocker.  These new tunes indicate that Greta is indeed still growing, and we haven’t heard what they’re capable of yet.  Yes, they can do vintage 1969 Led Zeppelin to a “T”, and they have the acoustic bases covered too.  The songwriting is growing, and their musicianship is already there.  Their playing sounds like a group who have several records under their belts already.

“Black Smoke Rising” has become a personal favourite Greta tune.  This closer boasts incredible vocals, melody and riffs.  It’ll put goosebumps on your arms if you let it.  It sounds very little like Led Zeppelin.  It actually recalls Triumph more than anyone, and that’s just fine.

Now is the time to get some Greta Van Fleet.  This release has all their studio recordings; a compact 32 minutes.  Double EP?  Van Halen had classic albums shorter than this.  From the Fires is an album.  Get it!

4.5/5 stars

 

REVIEW: Greta Van Fleet – Black Smoke Rising (2017 EP)

GRETA VAN FLEET – Black Smoke Rising (2017 Republic records EP)

Sometimes a tune just comes outta nowhere and takes over.  Greta Van Fleet’s very Zeppelin-like “Highway Tune” is one such song.  Who are Greta Van Fleet?  Three young brothers and a buddy from Frankenmuth, Michigan of all places!  (These guys weren’t even born yet when I was last in Frankenmuth singing Zeppelin karaoke, so I cannot claim to have influenced them at all.)  They describe themselves as “a blues influenced rock n roll band picking up where classic rock left off”.  Black Smoke Rising is their second EP, after the very rare Greta Van Fleet: Live in Detroit (2014).

They call themselves “blues influenced”, but the truth of the matter is that they sound like the second coming of Led Zeppelin.  That’s not a terrible thing, and given their ages, certainly forgivable.  They have a whole career ahead of them in which to grow.  The good news is that regardless of the various shades of Zep, all four tracks are excellent.

Singer Joshua Michael Kiszka is a born star.  At times he’s a dead ringer for young Robert Plant.  At others he’s more like Andrew Stockdale.  He also shows his own character and lung power.  The point is, this guy is special.  Not that anyone in the band is a slouch, but there is one obvious immediate standout.

It’s easy to compare these tracks to earlier ones.  “Highway Tune” is a bit of an amped-up “The Rover”.  Zep bleeds into “Safari Song”.  You can hear “Down By the Seaside” and “Your Time Is Gonna Come” at the tail end of “Flower Power”.  Their most unique song is closer “Black Smoke Rising”.  If anything it sounds more like “Fight the Good Fight” by Triumph than anything like Zeppelin, but it’s more than that.  It sounds like a hint of what this band can progress into.

Keep an eye on Greta Van Fleet and by all means, get this EP.

4/5 stars