Austin Powers

WTF Search Terms: More Sexy than Sexy edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XLIII:  More Sexy than Sexy edition

It’s Friday so it’s time for some funny.

WTF Search Terms are those weird words that you typed into a search engine to get here.  Most of the time, people were searching for sex.  From penis pumps to the genitalia of the lead singer of Queen, here are the latest and greatest WTFs!


  • swedish penis pump for sail
  • austin powers enlarge your penis

When I wrote Record Store Tales Part 266, about a novelty “penis pump” that I was given by co-workers, I never expected the hits to keep rolling in.  And…”sail”?

  • vhs porn call for bang

None here, but in Record Store Tales Part 69 (obviously), a porn tape did show up at the store.

  • how big was freddie mercurys cock

This is a question you’re going to have to keep on googling because I do not know or care.

  • is joshua kiszka bi

Greta Van Fleet’s singer?  Don’t know, irrelevant question.

  • japanxxx.dere.fere

I know it’s dirty because xxx is in there.

  • hookers

Possibly linking up to a review for Trailer Park Boys Season 8.

  • calf suck dick

No idea.

  • mary wiseman ass

Multiple searches here.  Mary Wiseman plays the character of Sylvia Tilly on Star Trek: Discovery.  And sadly this is not the first time Mary’s derriere has made this list.

  • english lebrain sex story

My best guess is that some people think “lesbian” is spelled “lebrain”.  Otherwise I’m curious.  I’d like to read this story myself!

  • /de/video/182513/three-teen-striptease-on-webcam

This is now the second time this one has made the list.  How.  The fuck.  Does THAT lead HERE??

See ya next time for more WTFs.

 

Part 266: This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 266: This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby!

The weirdest gift I ever received at the Record Store was an Austin Powers “Swedish-made” Penis Enlarger Pump. This was a “gag” gift from a group of co-workers. I recall not knowing how to react!  Awkward!  It’s true that all of us were obsessed with Austin Powers at the time.  Talking like him, reciting lines, all that stuff.  But a penis enlarging pump?  Sorry, that sort of thing really ain’t my bag, baby!  Meanwhile, I had gone to Chapters and bought books for everybody.  Normal books.  Not…books about penises or penis pumps or anything.  The same co-workers packed it up with “gummy boobs”, some silver zebra boxer shorts (too tight, sadly), and plastic handcuffs.

I’m one of those socially awkward guys to start with, so you throw a penis enlarging pump in a box with handcuffs and gummy boobs, wrap it up in Christmas paper and what you get is a blushing LeBrain!

Although I sold the penis pump at a garage sale, I did display it in my bedroom, briefly.  Here’s the photo to prove it!

Part 167: VIDEO – Top Five Discs that Got Us in Shit at the Record Store

RECORD STORE TALES Part 167:

Top Five Discs that Got Us in Shit at the Record Store

featuring Uncle Meat