Austin Powers Swedish-made Penis Enlarger Pump

Happy Halloween! WTF Search Terms – Horrifying Spelling edition

Happy Halloween!  On this October 31, what is scarier than poor spelling?  Take a look below and see for yourself!  These are poorly-spelled search terms that somehow led people to this site.  Boo!

Let’s go!

Probably just some big fingers typing on a small screen here – they are obviously looking for Ted Nugent‘s amazing Double Live Gonzo.

Swedish.  The word is spelled Swedish.

  • marrieanheels toopless nake
  • “married and heels” topples
  • marriedandgeels naked

No comment.  I told you that this was happening regularly!   Glad I never had to look at this.

Maxi Priest and Shaggy.  Maxi Priest and Shaggy.  Maxi Priest and Shaggy!  Write it 100 times until you get it right!

  • presinor in paradies song

“Prisoners in Paradise”, you mean?  You will not like my review, that’s for sure.  Don’t click it.

UNOFFICIAL.  UNOFFICIAL!  You can’t blame this one on autocorrect!
That was some scary, scary spelling.  Happy Halloween folks!

WTF Search Terms: More Sexy than Sexy edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XLIII:  More Sexy than Sexy edition

It’s Friday so it’s time for some funny.

WTF Search Terms are those weird words that you typed into a search engine to get here.  Most of the time, people were searching for sex.  From penis pumps to the genitalia of the lead singer of Queen, here are the latest and greatest WTFs!

  • swedish penis pump for sail
  • austin powers enlarge your penis

When I wrote Record Store Tales Part 266, about a novelty “penis pump” that I was given by co-workers, I never expected the hits to keep rolling in.  And…”sail”?

  • vhs porn call for bang

None here, but in Record Store Tales Part 69 (obviously), a porn tape did show up at the store.

  • how big was freddie mercurys cock

This is a question you’re going to have to keep on googling because I do not know or care.

  • is joshua kiszka bi

Greta Van Fleet’s singer?  Don’t know, irrelevant question.

  • japanxxx.dere.fere

I know it’s dirty because xxx is in there.

  • hookers

Possibly linking up to a review for Trailer Park Boys Season 8.

  • calf suck dick

No idea.

  • mary wiseman ass

Multiple searches here.  Mary Wiseman plays the character of Sylvia Tilly on Star Trek: Discovery.  And sadly this is not the first time Mary’s derriere has made this list.

  • english lebrain sex story

My best guess is that some people think “lesbian” is spelled “lebrain”.  Otherwise I’m curious.  I’d like to read this story myself!

  • /de/video/182513/three-teen-striptease-on-webcam

This is now the second time this one has made the list.  How.  The fuck.  Does THAT lead HERE??

See ya next time for more WTFs.

 

WTF Search Terms: Lars Ulrich Trout (Thunder Bay) edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XL: Lars Ulrich Trout (Thunder Bay) edition

It’s that time again…the 40th time in fact!  It’s those “WTF” search terms that somehow brought people to this site.  Let’s skip the chatter and get to the weird.

  • lars ulrich trout warrant thunder bay ontario

I had to ask Thunder Bay’s hardest rocker, Deke Dekerson, if he could possible explain this one.  He had no idea.  Warrant did open for Metallica in 1990, and our own Uncle Meat has written about it.  There were no dates in Thunder Bay, and I don’t want to know what Lars was doing with a trout.

  • gene simmons vault is stupid

Well, I don’t know about that!  He’s having no problem selling it.  The only thing “stupid” about Vault is that there is no pricing affordable to regular people.

This is a great question!

  • ten game0f galishow

Nooo idea.

  • styx equinox bakelit lemez

You lost me.

  • give me any diolock

I’m not giving you squat!  I think this guy was looking for Lock up the Wolves by Dio?  He could also have been searching for “dicklock“.

  • coverdale page 4cd tour edition box set

Definitely in the “wishful thinking” category.  There wasn’t really such thing as “tour editions” back in 1993, and sadly all you can get to this day is the standard single CD of Coverdale-Page.

  • the swedish penis enlargement pump and me (this definitely is my thing, baby)” by austin d. powers

I admire the amount of effort this person went to, to be as specific as possible.

  • liam payne chenine lozano midnight memories def leppard copyright infringement

I tuned out after reading “Liam Payne”.  The fuck does he have to do with Def Leppard?  I don’t care enough to look.

  • how to work in a record store

You came to the right place, friend!  The one and only and original Record Store Tales can be found right here!

 

 

WTF Search Terms: Fan Favourites – First Grade Math edition

Everybody seems to have their favourite kind of content.  My buddy Thussy comes here mostly for the WTFs!  Every once in a while, I’ll send him a list of all the weird and wacky search terms that have (somehow) lead people to mikeladano.com.  As he did in WTF Search Terms XV, he’s picked his favourites.  Please welcome back Thussy for this Guest Shot edition of WTF Search Terms.

WTF Search Terms XXIV: Fan Favourites – First Grade Math edition

It’s been a year since my last installment of WTF search terms so here it is: My list of fucked up shit people want to see on the internet and then somehow make it to Lebrains blog. And when I say shit it sometimes literally means shit.

10. share this click to email this to a friend
I had to include this one because how the hell does this get you to a blog about music?

9. i don’t exist
Then don’t google yourself.

8. wild party
I am a wild party.

7. shower poop guy
Why do people keep searching this?

6. swedish made penis
This sort of thing aint my bag baby.

5. first grade math
Is this the answer to the question, “what did Lebrain fail in school?”

4. orangie took like 6 shooters and some bong tokes
Excellent season, the Boys still have it.

3. porn mcgangbang
It is definitely food porn.

2. Japanporn
If this is anything like Japanese imports they are way too expensive.

1. selling piss julian
“Meth?!?! He’s selling piss, you fucking dumb dumb.”

PISS

Part 266: This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 266: This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby!

The weirdest gift I ever received at the Record Store was an Austin Powers “Swedish-made” Penis Enlarger Pump. This was a “gag” gift from a group of co-workers. I recall not knowing how to react!  Awkward!  It’s true that all of us were obsessed with Austin Powers at the time.  Talking like him, reciting lines, all that stuff.  But a penis enlarging pump?  Sorry, that sort of thing really ain’t my bag, baby!  Meanwhile, I had gone to Chapters and bought books for everybody.  Normal books.  Not…books about penises or penis pumps or anything.  The same co-workers packed it up with “gummy boobs”, some silver zebra boxer shorts (too tight, sadly), and plastic handcuffs.

I’m one of those socially awkward guys to start with, so you throw a penis enlarging pump in a box with handcuffs and gummy boobs, wrap it up in Christmas paper and what you get is a blushing LeBrain!

Although I sold the penis pump at a garage sale, I did display it in my bedroom, briefly.  Here’s the photo to prove it!