motorhead

VHS Archives #44: Power Hour Bumpers collection!

This one goes out to good pals Mars and Sarca Sim!  I know they love the nostalgia of old MuchMusic bumpers.  Here’s a collection of them that I assembled into one mega-bumper!

The bumpers are generally somebody saying, “Hi, I’m [insert name] from [insert band], and you’re watching the Power Hour on MuchMusic!”  Some flub their lines (Craig Goldy), some put in that extra 10% (Poison) and some do both (Anvil).

It’s either they got only one take, or these are the best ones!

Check out these hilarious rock star ads below, including (in order): Mark Metcalf, Motorhead, Poison, Lita Ford, Anvil, Dio, Rik Emmett, David Coverdale and a couple surprises.

 

 

 

#740: Things I Wish I Recorded, But Didn’t

GETTING MORE TALE #740: Things I Wish I Recorded, But Didn’t

Regrets? I’ve had a few. I think I have a pretty cool collection of videos, but at the same time, there are tons of things I wish I’d taped.  I remember them all clear as a bell, but have no way of showing you.  Instead, you can only read about these bizarre MuchMusic events.  Fortunately, I have a really good memory.

Here are the things I wished I recorded but didn’t.

1. Randy Bachman on MuchMusic – Canadian Federal Election 1993

Much had a unique idea to get young people engaged with voting. They brought in music stars to interview the politicians that were running for Prime Minister in 1993. Additionally, they didn’t talk to just the “big three” parties, but invited plenty of second and third tier candidates as well. 14 candidates in total.

Neil Peart from Rush interviewed the eventual winner, Jean Chrétien of the Liberal party. I have that on tape. What I don’t have on tape is the schmuck they stuck poor Randy Bachman with!

Bachman did the best he could, but the candidate was really flakey and wouldn’t stop mentioning how his platform was all on a floppy disc.  Get the floppy disc and read the full platform!  He gave one to Randy, which was utterly pointless.  Poor Bachman and the Floppy Disc Guy!

2. Vanilla Ice interviewed by Natalie Richard 1991

Totally out of my wheelhouse.  Turned out to be pretty funny.  Vanilla Ice was on his way out. This interview did not help. Natalie asked him “Where do you fit in the stratosphere of music today?” His answer was to laugh and say, “Wow, that question went right over my head, I don’t even know what that means!”

3. Daniel Richler hosting the Power Hour 1987

Daniel Richler is the adopted son of the famous author Mordecai Richler. I grew up with his dad’s books, so I was thrilled when he got to host the Pepsi Power Hour one time in ’87. I said at the time it was the best episode they ever did. I loved all the songs (not always the case with an hour long show) and recorded five of the videos.

Unfortunately, I didn’t record Daniel’s segments between the songs, which was a shame. The guy was hilarious and I remember he did one entire segment with the camera upside down. I tended to record only music and interviews to save tape.

4. Living Colour with Michael Williams 1988

They had a Living Colour contest. All you had to do was guess the number of braids in Corey Glover’s hair! He shook his hair around for the cameras. It didn’t help with counting, but it was funny and cool!

5. Thelonious Monster 1989

I’m not particularly a fan of the punk rock pioneers, but I was intrigued when they played a song live at the Much studios called “Sammy Hagar Weekend”. “He actually liked the song!” said the Monster. “That’s how dumb he is. He didn’t know we were making fun of him.” One of those moments I wish I had recorded.

6. Lemmy and Philthy Phil

Motorhead were too scary for young me! But they were funny. I wish I had this one on tape. “What do you think this is, a holiday?!”

7. The Def Leppard Pepsi jacket

Finally, not just a video I wish I had, but also an article of clothing.

It was the Hysteria era, and MuchMusic were giving away a hell of a prize. I wanted it so badly. All I got on tape was the address to enter the contest, and a very brief grainy view of the Def Leppard jacket.  It was a white jacket, unlike any I’d ever seen before. It came fully equipped with a speaker system built into the jacket! You could walk around, play your music and have it coming right from your body. The jacket also came fully stocked with a Walkman and all the Def Leppard albums on cassette.

I really, really wanted that jacket, but even some video footage of it would be cool today. I pictured myself walking around in my Leppard jacket, with “Pour Some Sugar On Me” coming from somewhere in my chest. How could the ladies possibly resist?

 

 

Sunday Chuckle: Eat the Rich

A show of hands:  who loves the Motörhead song “Eat the Rich”?  Granted, it is not one of their most recognised tunes.  It is however fun and hilarious.

I wanted to post the lyrics on Facebook recently, so I Googled them.  I think Google is a little mixed up.

Google confused Motorhead’s song with the completely different Aerosmith single.  At least they got the words mostly right…mostly!  Below, you’ll find the correct lyrics and credits, thanks to your buddy LeBrain.

 

 

They say music is the food of love,
Let’s see if you’re hungry enough,
Take a bite, take another, just like a good boy would.
Get a sweet thing on the side,
Home cooking, homicide,
Side order, could be your daughter,
Finger licking good.

Come on baby, eat the rich,
Put the bite on the son of a bitch,
Don’t mess up, don’t you give me no switch,
C’mon baby and eat the rich.
C’mon baby and eat the rich.

Sittin’ down in a restaurant,
Tell the waiter just what you want,
Is that the meat, you wanted to eat,
How would you ever know?
Hash browns and bacon strips,
I love the way that you lick your lips,
No fooling I can see you drooling,
Feel the hunger grow.

Come on baby, eat the rich,
Put the bite on the son of a bitch,
Don’t mess up, don’t you give me no switch,
C’mon baby and eat the rich.
C’mon baby and eat the rich.
C’mon honey, here’s your supper,
C’mon baby, bite that sucker!

I’ll eat you baby you eat me,
Eat two, maybe get one free,
Shetland pony extra pepperoni,
Just pick up the phone.
Eat Greek, or eat Chinese,
Eat salad, or scarf up grease,
You’re on the shelf, you eat yourself,
Come on and bite my bone.

Come on baby, eat the rich,
Bite down on the son of a bitch,
Don’t mess around, don’t you give me no switch,
C’mon baby and eat the rich.
C’mon baby and eat the rich.
Sittin’ here in a hired tuxedo,
You wanna see my bacon torpedo?

Eat it baby, eat the rich.
Eat it baby, eat the rich.
Eat it baby, eat the rich.

 

Songwriters: Kilmister, Burston, Campbell, Taylor.

R.I.P. “Fast” Eddie Clarke (1950-2018)

And then there were none.  “Fast” Eddie Clarke, the last original member of Motorhead, has passed to the great beyond at age 67, of pneumonia.

Our correspondent Uncle Meat is quoted as follows:  “Whatever people are calling heaven these days just got louder than everyone else.  RIP Fast Eddie…and hello to the reunion of the band that used to be here to kick your ass.”

The original Motorhead was decimated in recent years, with “Philthy Animal” Taylor and Lemmy both passing in late 2015.  Now the three are reunited, jamming again whilst Michael Jackson and George Michael plug their ears in agony.  Motorhead is dead — long live Motorhead!

“Fast” Eddie should be recognised almost as much for his notable band Fastway (with Pete Way of UFO).  Post-Motorhead, Fastway are often remembered as the band who did the soundtrack to Trick Or Treat in 1986.  1983’s Fastway and 1984’s All Fired Up were also notable entries in the genre.

It should be stated for the record, that “Fast” Eddie was far from “Heavy Metal Bullshit”. You will be reading more about “Heavy Metal Bullshit” in the months to come. “Fast” Eddie was old fashioned and greasy, able to groove with the baddest bass player on Earth. Listen to his playing on “Bomber”. It’s all meat and gravy, no fat.

Rest in peace “Fast” Eddie!

REVIEW: ECW Extreme Music – Various Artists (1998)

Welcome to…
…Hosted by Vinyl Connection

ECW Extreme Music (1998 CMC)

There are way too many CDs in my collection that I don’t like, but I own for one or two rarities.  ECW Extreme Music is one of those many.  I have never watched an ECW wrestling match in my life.  I only know one of the wrestlers pictured inside, Bam Bam Bigelow, because he was in the WWF when I was a kid.  I don’t like the 90s version of wrestling with the blood and barbed wire.  And I don’t like much of the music they used.

First is the generic riff/loop combo of Harry Slash and the Slashtones, whoever that is.  Skip that repetitive crap to get to a White Zombie remix. “El Phantasmo and the Chicken-Run Blast-O-Rama” was a great groove from Astro-Creep: 2000.  The “Wine, Women & Song” mix by Charlie Clouser is from their remix CD Supersexy Swingin’ Sounds.  It’s an enjoyable remix, which is something best appreciated on its own rather than on a remix album.

Somebody named Kilgore did a carbon copy cover of “Walk” by Pantera, presumably because using the original would have cost more?  It’s embarrassingly copycat.  Your friends who don’t know will assume it’s Pantera.  Fortunately a great Megadeth tune is next.  Cryptic Writings is an underrated album, and “Trust” was probably the second best track on it (right after “A Secret Place”).   This instrumental mix is an exclusive and has emphasis on Marty Friedman’s lead guitar which replaces the vocals.

Bruce Dickinson (and Roy Z) is next with a lacklustre cover of “The Zoo” by the Scorpions.  There’s nothing particularly wrong with it, it’s just a cover, but it’s also a non-album track that collectors will want.  Too bad it’s not exceptional like most of Bruce’s output.  It’s just good not great.  Another cover follows:  Motorhead doing “Enter Sandman”!  It’s as bizarre and weirdly perfect as you’d expect it to be.  Grinspoon are next with their fairly stinky version of Prong’s “Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck”, robbed of all its snarl.  John Bush-era Anthrax are more impressive with Metallica’s “Phantom Lord” from Kill ‘Em All.  It’s breakneck, and also very cool to hear a Big Four thrash band covering another Big Four group.

Pantera, minus Phil Anselmo, are here for their cover of ZZ Top’s “Heard it on the X”.  It’s both ZZ Top and Pantera at the same time, and that’s kind of remarkable.  That’s it for this album though — nothing worthwhile from here out. What’s the point of having a cover of “Kick Out the Jams” (courtesy of Monster Magnet) but then beep out the naughty words?  Somebody named Muscadine decided to do “Big Balls” by AC/DC, a pretty obvious bad idea.  Just awful.  Then it’s more of Harry Slash to end the CD with some more pure filler.

CMC International released a lot of low budget crap over the years, and this CD is pretty poor.  There are five pages of merch advertising inside, including one for a ECW Extreme Music 2.  I skipped that one.  This CD is collectable for the Bruce Dickinson, Anthrax and Motorhead tracks.  But these are cover tunes we’re talking about, so tread wisely.

1.5/5 stars

 

 

DVD REVIEW: Superbad (2007)

SUPERBAD (2007 Columbia unrated extended edition)

Directed by Greg Mottola

While the Apatow Company’s best films are behind them now, in 2007 they were coming off the dual hits 40 Year old Virgin, and Knocked Up.  Those films featured a core of recurring actors, including Bill Hader, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, James Franco and the whole gang that we are all familiar with today.  Then, this kind of comedy was fresh.  Today, Superbad is the only Apatow I can still watch regularly and laugh like it’s the first time.

I love a movie with a great rock soundtrack, and Superbad features Van Halen (“Panama”), Motorhead (“Ace of Spades”), and Ted Nugent (“Stranglehold”).  There’s even The Roots! Even better, and incorporated into the comedy, is the Guess Who’s “These Eyes” as performed by Michael Cera.  It is a case 0f mistaken identity and Cera’s character Evan is in a spot.  I’m cracking up thinking about it. “He’s Jimmy’s brother, the guy! The singer! He’s the guy with the beautiful voice that I was telling you about!” And then, “My brother came all the way from Scottsdale Arizona to be here tonight. And you’re not going to sing for him? You sing, and sing good!” The last song I would have chosen to sing under such circumstances would have been “These Eyes”, but that’s why this is a comedy movie.

Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera) are highschool versions of Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, who wrote this movie, but were too old to play the parts. It’s the end of highschool, and together with their friend Fogell aka “McLovin” (Christopher Mintz-Plasse, who absolutely nails it in his film debut), they aim to score some liquor for a party. Once they have booze, they will be like heroes to Jules (Emma Stone) and Becca (Martha MacIsaac) at the party, and possibly score some coitus. McLovin has the fake ID, but acquiring the alcohol is only the first of many stumbling blocks.

Seth Rogen and Bill Hader play incompetent cops, but their intentionally stupid scenes will make you groan rather than laugh. Bad decisions by all the characters may have you shaking your head asking “why?”, but you have to put your mind in the hormones of a highschool kid aiming to get his first touchy feely. Guys do stupid things not unlike the people in this movie. I know guys who’ve done things like this when they were kids. I’ve made plenty of stupid decisions while chasing someone of the fairer sex. Granted, I’ve never been hit by a car and then talked into not calling the cops in exchange for going to a badass party where I can steal some booze. That exact situation has never happened to me or anyone I know. But it’s fucking hilarious.

The most enjoyable comedy usually comes from the banter between Hill and Cera. Their blunt vulgarity has a certain art to it. I can still quote lines from this movie, and people know which ones I’m talking about. “Something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever.”

In this film, Seth and Evan are going to different colleges and there is a tension between the two characters over this.  Both of them feel differently about it, and this is the most relateable part of the movie.  The end of highschool feels like the top of the world for a brief moment, but then in the fall friendships split up, sometimes forever (until Facebook came along anyway).  Superbad  is basically a movie about two guys trying to get some, but the tension in the friendship is ultimately what drives the story to its conclusion.  Cera and Hill are funny indeed, but the friendship they portray seems real.

The unrated edition is loaded to the gills with bonus features, and honestly a good chunk of them are worth checking out. You can skip the “Cop Car Confessions”, but definitely watch “Everyone Hates Michael Cera – The Unfortunate True Story”. And of course, don’t miss “The Music of Superbad” either. Bootsy Collins and Lyle Workman put together an unexpectedly cool soundtrack.

4/5 stars

RIP Lemmy Kilmister

LEMMY

Aww, fuck.

RIP Ian “Lemmy” Kilmister (24 December 1945 – 28 December 2015)

Killed By Death.

#328: Slowly Going Deaf? (RSTs Mk II: Getting More Tale)

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#328: Slowly Going Deaf?

IMG_20141012_062958

I’ve been listening to music for as long as I can remember.  I’ve been listening to rock music — and I’ve been told to turn it down — since I was 11 years old.  That’s 30 years ago.  Remember all those times your parents said, “Turn it down, or you’ll be deaf by the time you’re 40!”  Let’s see if that’s true.

I’m not the concert-goer that a lot of you are.  I’ve always had a thing about crowds, but I’ve definitely seen my share of loud shows: Black Sabbath & Motorhead, Helix and Deep Purple are not the kind of bands that turn it down.  In 1972 Deep Purple were declared by Guinness to be the world’s loudest band!  But I don’t enjoy the sheer earthquake noise levels you can get at a concert like that, so I’ve been using earplugs much of the time for almost 20 years.  I started wearing them shortly after seeing Kiss in ’96.  I find this cuts a lot of the noise, and renders the concert to a volume more akin to a loud home stereo.

Where I’m most guilty of playing it too loud is the car.  Sometimes I don’t realize just how loud it is in there until I start the car in the morning, having left the stereo on at full blast.  I seem to turn it up, turn it up, turn it up…and get used to it.  Like a frog in cold water that you begin to slowly heat to boil, I become accommodated to the volume of the rock.  So that would concern me, where hearing loss is concerned.

How much hearing have I lost?  I completed a hearing test at work a short while ago, and have received the results.  Using a 2009 baseline as the comparison, it looks like it’s barely changed at all!

Here’s how the exam worked.  A mobile hearing test truck pulls into the parking lot and we take the hearing tests six people at a time.  Each one of us enters a soundproof booth, which look like we’re sitting in the escape pods of a spaceship, especially after we don our special noise-cancelling headphones.  Unfortunately it’s not a perfect setup.  I and several others could hear the beeping of forklifts and tow motors in the yard, through the booth and headphones.  This doesn’t help when you’re supposed to push a little button at the sound of a beep in your ears.  The test took about five minutes to complete and the results came back about two weeks later.  And here they are.  I don’t know what half this stuff means, but I’m told I have no major loss.  Alright!

TEST

REVIEW: Ronnie James Dio – This Is Your Life (Tribute)

NEW RELEASE

“I’m letting them pick what songs they wanna do in the way they wanna do it.” Wendy Dio

THIS IS YOUR LIFE_0001VARIOUS ARTISTS:  Ronnie James Dio – THIS IS YOUR LIFE (2014 tribute CD)

No preable from me: we all know how great Dio was.  Let’s get to the tracks.

Anthrax kick off the festivities with a slamming “Neon Nights”.  The storming opener couldn’t have been in a better slot.  Not only is Charlie Benate heavy as shit, but the guitar solos are mental.  Joe Belladonna handles the powerful vocal ably.  Rob Caggiano is still in the lineup indicating this isn’t brand new.  I suspect it was recorded at the same time as last year’s Anthems EP.

The guys that never get respect, Tenacious D, tackle the difficult second slot.  No worries there; they chose “The Last In Line” which Jack Black sings with no difficulty.  Uncle Meat has said it before:  Jack Black is one of the best singers he’s seen live.  “The Last In Line” proves his pipes, although some may not like his exaggerated, humorous vocal enunciation.  Kyle Gass plays a cute recorder solo in lieu of guitar, but there’s not enough K.G. on this track.  Brooks Wackerman kicks the drums in the ass.

And speaking of drums, Mike Portnoy is next with Adrenaline  Mob.  They demolish “Mob Rules”, although singer Russell Allen is certainly no Dio.  He is completely overshadowed by Portnoy and the shredding of Mike Orlando.

Corey Taylor, Satchel (Russ Parish) and friends  chose “Rainbow In the Dark” as their tribute to Ronnie.  This has always been such a fan favourite, and a personal one as well.  It is difficult to imagine anyone but Ronnie singing it.  While Corey Taylor is not at all like Ronnie James Dio, you can tell he loves this song.  It bleeds out of his performance.  He does it in his own rasp, and it works.

The incredible Lzzy Hale and Halestorm are up next with another Dio classic, “Straight Through the Heart”.  There is no denying the talents of Lzzy Hale, but her powerful pipes are almost too much.  Perhaps she overpowers the song, rather than simply fueling it.  Halestorm fans will love it, but I think Lzzy maybe should have reeled it in a bit.  Or, maybe I just need to get used to it.  “Straight From the Heart” does sound better after a few listens.

Biff Byford (Saxon) joins Motorhead on lead vocals for Rainbow’s “Starstruck”.  There’s a bit of that Motor-slam in it, but if I didn’t know who it was, I never would have guessed Motorhead.  You can hear Lemmy on backing vocals, but weirdly, he’s not credited on bass.  Nobody is, but you can hear the bass clearly and it sounds like Lem.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE_0004

I’m a little sick of the Scorpions doing ballads, but I admit that “Temple of the King” (another Rainbow classic) is stunningly good.  One might almost mistake it for a Scorpions original.  It has that regal Scorpions bombast to is, but Matthias Jabs’ lead work is just sublime.  He’s an underrated player, absolutely.  You can tell he’s a Blackmore fan.

An oldie from 1999, Doro’s cover of “Egypt (The Chains are On)” is excellent.  It’s cool to hear female singers like Doro and Lzzy Hale sing Dio.  Doro’s impressive pipes have always been astounding.  Her version of “Egypt” is a little over the top compared to Dio’s, but that’s cool by me.

Killswitch Engage…hmm.  “Holy Diver” starts great, super heavy, with some perfectly acceptable, melodic vocals.  Then it all goes down the toilet at the bridge.  That’s when it turns into hardcore shouting and blast beats…sorry, not on this song, thanks.  I can listen to that stuff in moderation, but don’t sully “Holy Diver” with it.  Fortunately the guitar solos are great, sounding like an Iron Maiden outtake from Powerslave.  Shame about the growling and shouting.  Skip.

“Catch the Rainbow” is a great song, and Craig Goldy plays guitar on this cover.  He’s ex-Dio himself, and he’s backed by his former Dio-mates Rudy Sarzo, Scott Warren and Simon Wright.  (Hey, that’s also 1/3 of Tateryche!)  Glenn Hughes sings, but this song sounds out of his scope.  His bluesy slant doesn’t work for me.  Sorry Glenn, you’re still awesome!

I find it strange that two more ex-Dio members (Jimmy Bain and Rowan Robertson) chose to cover Black Sabbath.  But who cares!  They covered “I”, perhaps the greatest song from Dehumanizer (1992)!  On drums is Brian Tichy, with Oni Logan (Lynch Mob, Dio Disciples) singing.  It’s a perfectly authentic version and I love it.  It’s absolutely thunderous, and I love Jimmy Bain’s bass sound.  Always have.  Of all the vocalists on This Is Your Life, it is Oni Logan that comes closest to nailing Dio’s vibe.  Considering he’s in Dio Diciples, I shouldn’t have been surprised.  I didn’t expect it though, based on what I knew of Logan from Lynch Mob.  He fits “I” like a glove!

I was disappointed in Rob Halford’s version of “Man On the Silver Mountain”.  It’s true that Halford did replace Dio in Black Sabbath for two shows in 1992.  However, having owned a bootleg video of that show since that time, I knew that Halford’s and Dio’s styles didn’t really mesh.  This is no different; I don’t think his voice works with the song and it unfortunately shows off the places where Rob’s voice has weakened.  What is cool though is that the band (all ex-Dio:  Doug Aldrich, Vinnie Appice, Jeff Pilson and Scott Warren) take it to a swampy bluesy Whitesnake-y place for the intro.  You can definitely hear Pilson covering the high notes in the chorus.

Finally we arrive at the mighty Metallica.  Snicker if you like.  If Metallica do one thing really well, it’s covers.  If they do two right, it’s covers and medleys.  The “Ronnie Rising Medley” is entirely made up of parts of Rainbow songs.  “A Light In the Black” bleeds into “Tarot Woman,” where the vocals begin.  It’s safe to say if you don’t like Metallica, you won’t like this.  If the opposite is true, I think you’re in for a treat.  Metallica do these classics in their own style, just as they have in the past when covering Maiden, or Mercyful Fate, or Thin Lizzy.  Simply add Lars’ thuds, James’ growl, and some standard Metalli-licks, and you’ve got a medley that is enjoyable through its near-10 minute run time.  Having said that, the weak point is definitely “Stargazer”, which is gutted of all its majesty.  They do much better with “Kill the King” which is fucking perfect.  They include the entire song in their medley!

Fittingly, the album ends on a ballad:  Dio’s own somber “This Is Your Life”, performed by the man himself in 1996.  I did not like the Angry Machines album, but if there was one song I would have picked as a highlight it would be “This Is Your Life”.  Performed only by Dio and Scott Warren on piano, it is unlike anything else in Dio’s canon.  The lyrics speak of mortality:

This is your life
This is your time
What if the flame
Won’t last forever?

This is your here
This is your now
Let it be magical

What a way to end a great album.  As much as you can “miss” a person you have never met, I do miss Ronnie James Dio.  In many ways he’s been my friend for 30 years.

4.5/5 stars

As a nice added touch, the liner notes include photos of just about every performer on this CD with Ronnie!

Of  note:  the Japanese edition has a bonus track by Dio Diciples:  “Stand Up and Shout.”  It also has Stryper’s version of “Heaven and Hell” from their 2011 album The Covering, which I reviewed here.

Part 244: Diary of a Mad Record Store Man

JAMIE MIKE

Friend with LeBrain, Phil’s, Waterloo

RECORD STORE TALES Part 244:  Diary of a Mad Record Store Man

I’d like to share with you a selection of entries, verbatim from my journal in 2005.  Here’s a snapshot of Record Store Life, November 2005, one month before quitting the store.

Date: 2005/11/04 10:35

PLAYING IN CAR:
Fu Manchu – King Of The Road

I was just thinking today how much I hate bars. I haven’t been to a bar in a year. Last time I went, a bunch of jocks wanted to kick my ass because they thought I looked “gay”. (With my Motörhead shirt on?)

Also thinking about how rude some customers can be. Like it is MY fault that they have to pawn their shit to buy crack.

Date: 2005/11/04 11:59

Today has been very annoying thus far.

People are idiots sometimes, and people rarely seem to listen. And while I’m working away here among the idiots, the Hives are singing, “Walk Idiot Walk”. Very nice.

Oakville tomorrow…yeah…not hyped for that, either.

Date: 2005/11/15 07:29

I have 3 hours to clean my apartment before my parents arrive.

Date: 2005/11/22 19:51

What goes up must come down.

– I spilled candle wax all over my brand new rug (only 6 days old).
– The trunk of my car has a leak, water has ruined a few items inside.
– I have no money.
– I have a total of three days off in the entire month of December

 Date: 2005/11/24 19:39

With this new beard, people have taken to calling me either “Ewen” or “Señor Speilbergo”. I’m fine with either name.

Date: 2005/11/25 11:05

Just because you are spending hundreds of dollars in my store does NOT make me your bitch.

Date: 2005/11/26 17:56

There’s this dude in my store that looks exactly like a short Sean Astin.

Except I’m not really sure, maybe Sean Astin is short anyways? I mean, he’s a hobbit, right?