pranks

#1150: “867-5309 / Jenny”

RECORD STORE TALES #1150: “867-5309 / Jenny”

In 1981, rock band Tommy Tutone released their second album, 2.  The lead track and single was a song called “867-5309/Jenny”.  As you can imagine, placing an actual phone number in a song was, while catchy, also problematic.   Lorene Burns from Alabama, who unfortunately had that very phone number, had to change it in 1982.  “When we’d first get calls at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, my husband would answer the phone. He can’t hear too well. They’d ask for Jenny, and he’d say ‘Jimmy doesn’t live here any more.’  Tommy Tutone was the one who had the record. I’d like to get hold of his neck and choke him.”

Tommy Tutone was in fact a “them” and the song was written by guitarist Jim Keller, with Alex Call from the band Clover.  The song soared to #2 in Canada, and #1 on the US Mainstream Rock chart.  It’s a great tune.  David Lee Roth recently covered it, but in its original incarnation, it’s a guitar driven rock classic with a plaintive chorus and memorable lyrics.

Jenny Jenny who can I turn to?
You give me something I can hold on to,
I know you’ll think I’m like the others before,
Who saw your name and number on the wall.
Jenny I’ve got your number,
I need to make you mine,
Jenny don’t change your number,
Eight six seven five three oh nine.

Many Jennys were teased worldwide (my wife included) by boys singing the song to them; an anthem of calling a number found on a bathroom wall.  The origins of the song are unclear.  “There was no Jenny,” claimed Alex Call in 2009.  The number, he said, just sounded right when sung.  Tommy Tutone lead singer Tommy Heath claimed in 2008 that Jenny was a real girl, and they wrote her telephone number on a wall just for laughs.  The Alex Call account sounds more believable.

Whatever the origins, many people with that phone number were prank called year after year after year.  One day in 1998, I heard “867-5309” for the first time.  Although I was not involved, a prank call ensued.

It was at the old Heuther Hotel in Waterloo (now, sadly, destined to become new condos).  I had a bad day (girl trouble), and was taken out by friends to get over it.  I sat enjoying a rum and coke (Captain Morgan’s spiced rum, always) with my co-workers Neil and Trevor.  In fact, it could have been my first ever spiced rum.  Tommy Tutone came on, and I liked the song, which I was unfamiliar with.  “It’s Tommy Tutone!” enthused Trevor.  “You don’t know this song?  Come on!”

We rocked along to the tune for a bit before Trevor realized that 867 was a local number.

“Should I call and ask for Jenny?  I’m gonna call and ask for Jenny!”

We laughed and I said no, but the drinks were flowing and Trevor dialed up 867-5309.

“Hello?” went the female voice on the other end.

“Hi, is Jenny there?” asked T-Rev with total innocence.

“Jenny’s not home,” went the answer.

“There’s actually a Jenny there?  COOL!” said T-Rev.  He was assured there was indeed a Jenny there.

“No way!  Really?  A Jenny really lives there?”  Once again, he was told yes.  “Do you know there’s a song called ‘Jenny’ with this phone number?”  The person feigned ignorance and reiterated that Jenny was not home.

“Cool!  Can you tell her Trevor called?  Thanks!”

And that was it!  We laughed all night about there being an actual Jenny at 867-5309, but I think the girl who answered the phone was just so used to getting this call that she called Trevor’s bluff.

We may never know.  Please don’t call 867-5309 and ask.

Sunday Chuckle: Meet meet you in the Ladies Room

For those who follow my civilian life on Facebook, you know I’ve moved offices more than once in the past year.  Three times in fact!  Last week, I settled into my new space for the first time.  Probably the nicest office of the three I occupied so far.

Even though many people are gone, some still have a sense of humour…as you can tell from the photo below!

 

 

Sunday Chuckle: Thussy edition

My good buddy Thussy came to visit work a couple weeks ago, with his two beautiful daughters, Emily and Megatron (Megan).  The girls love to visit my office, probably because I have toys and fidget spinners to play with.  They were spending some time in there while Thuss was catching up with someone else.

“Why do you have a picture of my dad in your office?” asked Megan.

It’s true.  I do.  It’s a picture of him that I snapped one day when he was messing up my desk.

“Well,” I explained, “One day your daddy was in here messing with my things…”

“What was he doing to them?” she interrupted excitedly.

“Your daddy was throwing my pens and papers all over my desk, putting tape on my mouse, that sort of thing.  I caught him doing it, and took a picture of his guilty face so I could show it to your mommy and she’d know what he was up to.”

The girls laughed.  But why did I keep the picture?

“Well the truth is, I just miss having your dad around here and having that picture makes me smile.”

I think that’s the best reason to keep anything.  For the smiles.

VHS Archives #73: Killer Dwarfs interview + Bruce Dickinson rips off Darrell Dwarf’s undies! (1989)

“‘Arry wants it…’Arry gets it.” – Killer Dwarfs

You won’t believe this got broadcast on daytime television!

Laurie Brown talked to the Killer Dwarfs in rehearsal for their excellent fourth LP Dirty Weapons. Additionally you will hear a preview for a new song called “Nothing Gets Nothing” live in concert, plus some behind the scenes footage.  The band talk about the music scene in Canada at the time (not good) and touring with Iron Maiden.  “What Harry wants, Harry gets,” they tell us.

But the real reason you’re watching this video is to see Bruce Dickinson rip the pants right off Darrell Dwarf.  It was the last night of the tour and therefore prank night!  Enjoy seeing “all of Darrell” as the audience did that night!

 

Sunday Chuckle: Toasted Eggs

How do you like your eggs?  Scrambled for me.  But I’ve had ’em boiled (hard and soft), poached, fried (sunny side up or over easy), and Benny.  How do your like your eggs?

I have a co-worker who likes them toasted.

Here’s the story.  I came into work one day to find two eggs in the toaster.  They belonged to Joe, an Italian tooling specialist.  Picture this conversation with the stereotypical Mario accent.

M:  “What’s up with your eggs, Joe?”

J: “Oh Mike!  It was either my son or my wife!  They thought it was funny if they take my boiled eggs and give me raw.  I can tell they are raw just by touching them.  So I put them in the toaster!  They taste just as good!  Maybe better!  Don’t tell my son and wife, they think they got me, but they don’t know!”

So there you go, folks.  Toasted eggs are better than hard boiled!

Sunday Chuckle: Unwanted Passenger

One of the guys at work is a real joker.  The kind when you’re never quite sure if he’s joking or serious.  For the purpose of this story, we’ll call him “Happy”.  I went out to grab some lunch at Harvey’s.  I came back to the office, and Happy was standing there talking on his cell phone.  I nodded hello when I pulled in and he ignored me, seemingly deep in his phone call.

My car has electric locks.  I usually hit the button that opens all doors, out of habit.  As I got out of the car clutching my hot burger and cold drink, he climbed in the passenger side and closed the door behind him.  He continued to talk on his phone ignoring me.  I stood there perplexed.  Did he just get into my car and close the door?  Yes, there he is right now, talking on his phone.  I decided not to be baited by his prank and walked into the office.

I looked out the window — he was still there in my car!   I went up to my buddy Chris and said, “Dude, Happy is my car right now.  I have no idea why.  Go look.  He’s sitting right there.”  And there he was.  Chris was just as confused as I was!  Happy has a unique sense of humour!

Happy eventually stepped out and I never acknowledged it to him.  Just a weird day at the office!

#365: SuperShadow

SS1

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#365:  SuperShadow

“Legendary Iconic SuperShadow Ultra Infinite Mega Genius”

“As you would expect, all information about the world famous and legendary SuperShadow (SS) is above top secret (classified at the highest level).” 

“Heralded by fans as the most important, influential and ingenious Star Wars expert in history, SuperShadow completely revolutionized the way Star Wars movies are created.  SuperShadow.com played a crucial and pivotal role in the development of the Star Wars prequel trilogy.  Man fan ideas submitted at SS.com were integrated by George Lucas into the final scripts and screenplays of The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith….Lucas has acknowledged many times in public that SuperShadow is the best thing to ever happen to Star Wars.”

SS

Beginning around the time of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, a new online “source” began “leaking” plot information for future Star Wars movies.  When he started out in 1998/1999, a lot of the rumours he was posting were legit leaks based in reality, albeit copied from other sites.  By Episode II, he went completely crazy with ludicrous “leaks” that were obviously fabrications.  This “source” went by the online name SuperShadow and he claimed to be close, personal friends with George Lucas.  He wrote that he had cameos in the movies, which he also claimed to co-write.  As if Star Wars alone wasn’t enough, Shadow also said that he was going to persuade his buddy George to include new music from Guns N’ Roses in Episode III!

AXLStar Wars and Guns N’ Roses – two of the most secretive brands in the world, and apparently SuperShadow has inside scoops to both!  I’m sure Axl wasn’t even aware of this guy’s existence.  I’m not sure which is the more absurd of the two claims: that he was friends with George Lucas, or that he could get Axl Rose to release new music!

Online sleuths traced his website, supershadow.com, to a person named “Mickey Suttle” in North Carolina.  Nobody knows if that’s a real name or an alias.  SuperShadow quickly built up both a legion of followers, and a much larger number of haters.  He posted a picture of himself with chiseled looks in a white T-shirt, and also a picture of a mystery nameless “girlfriend”.  Every day, SuperShadow would tell his fans how much he “scores”.  (Apparently, 24/7.)

SuperShadow infuriated many fans with his wild claims and “quotes” from his friend George Lucas.  Shadow eventually caught the attention of Lucasfilm, who were quick to put out official statements clarifying that Shadow had “absolutely no relationship with Lucasfilm or George Lucas.”  They also had to issue cease and desist orders when SuperShadow started soliciting fans for money, to access special “spoilers” and plot outlines for future movies.  Today, supershadow.com no longer exists.

I read the SuperShadow drama with amusement, and wondered how a guy like that had convinced thousands of fans that he was indeed an insider with intimate knowledge of the inner workings of George Lucas’ mind.  It seemed like a massive, obvious piss-take to me.  I thought he had to be a joke, and everybody was falling for it.  In fact I couldn’t see how anybody could view the SuperShadow website as anything but one huge prank, up until he started asking for money.  It was either a gigantic joke that nobody got, or the guy was just an obsessed, lonely megafan.  But nobody had ever succeeded in unveiling the real SuperShadow/Mickey Suttle, so I wondered if I could try to draw him out myself.

Setting my plan in motion, I set up a fake MySpace page for SuperShadow.  It was the first; there were no others, official or fake.

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By the time my fake SuperShadow began making his first posts, fandom had already found him.  He received “friend requests” daily from “believers” and “non-believers” alike.  I could hardly fathom that people were buying this.  All I did was put up the same picture from the official SuperShadow site and some fake information and posts.  “SuperShadow” made waves on the Star Wars message boards, and Shadow’s fans and haters announced that they had “discovered” his MySpace account.

I wanted to try an experiment on the internet.  I decided to spread a false rumour to see if fandom would pick up on it, and they did.  I told one guy who had been sending me questions that “SuperShadow” was in fact several people who set up the site as a big spoof.  Sure enough, within a few dayss I found information on various wiki-type sites that “Supershadow” could be a collective made up of several people who had pulled a massive prank on the internet.

It was funny for a few months, but then two more fake SuperShadow MySpace accounts showed up.  One was “Supershadows” and the other was “SSupershadow”.  Having lost interest myself, I told the guy who had been interrogating me earlier that I was just goofing and had nothing to do with SuperShadow.  I was surprised when he asked me if he could take over the account!  He wanted to see if he could suss him out, himself.  So I gave him the password, and passed the fake account on to a new nerd, who continued with the fake posts and pictures.  I lost interest then.  It was amusing while it lasted, and I saw how quickly rumours spready on the web.

I never succeeded in drawing out the “real” SuperShadow, or finding out if it was just a massive joke that went way too far.  I can however finally confess:  I, LeBrain, was the REAL fake SuperShadow!

Below: a sample of SuperShadow’s Q&A-style posts.

Q: SS, this site is like a fine wine, gets better with time. (SuperShadow: Excellent analogy.) Anyway I have a question: 1) How did you and George Lucas become close friends? (SuperShadow: In early 1994, Lucas watched one of my brilliant extra-terrestrial documentaries on the A&E TV cable channel. Lucas contacted me to congratulate me on the best documentary of its kind ever produced. He completely agreed with my position that the Citix Black Ops project had secretly implanted microscopic alien life forms into the minds of the world’s population. Lucas wanted to learn more so I told him all about the mysterious truth about extra-terrestrials. I told Lucas that I was sort of a Star Wars fan kinda. He invited me to Skywalker Ranch and we discussed the prequel trilogy. I spent several weeks at Skywalker Ranch in 1994 hashing ideas with Lucas that would be integrated into the prequel-trilogy plot line. We have been close friends ever since.)

Part 196: Happy Rockin’ Mother’s Day!

 

RECORD STORE TALES Part 196:  Happy Rockin’ Mother’s Day!

I’m hoping I don’t embarrass my mom too much with this post.  I love my mom.  My friends love my mom.  Everyone loves my mom, they always have.  It used to drive me nuts, actually.  Particularly with my friend Bob, it drove me nuts.  My friends would come over and spend more time talking to my mom than to me!

Joe, who ran one of our stores, was one friend that always enjoyed seeing my mom in his store.  Unfortunately for me, Joe really used to tease me about it, too.  Long time LeBrain readers will remember one story in particular.  Here’s the pertinent text from that tale:

One morning I was opening the store, and my computer beeped the sound that told me, “An order just arrived, please read me!”  So I did.  Only the order looked something like this.

ARTIST:  I’m totally going to

TITLE:  bone your mom.

I was digging through boxes of stuff, as Mrs. LeBrain and I prepare to move to a larger place this year.  In a closet I found a card from the record store.  Joe had signed it.

For my mom…happy Mother’s Day!

 

Next time on RECORD STORE TALES…

What’s on the menu?