RECORD STORE TALES
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RECORD STORE TALES Part 307: Court
I can only say so much about this subject, for hopefully obvious reasons. I can say this: Yes, I have had to testify in court, in a case of stolen CDs.
It was the Monday after Mother’s Day, in the year 2000. It was a long, ongoing case, a break and enter. I had forgotten all about it. I had made my written statement a year prior. The store had done nothing wrong. We did everything exactly as we had to, when dealing with a situation like this. As per the instructions of the police, we took all the correct ID from the suspect when buying the CDs, and followed all the correct procedures. When dealing with stolen goods, the police actually preferred us to buy the goods rather than send the person away. That way, they get evidence.
Unfortunately since I was the buyer this time, I was a witness and was therefore subpoenaed to testify. Two of my co-workers from other stores also had to appear in court. I was the only one who decided to wear a suit and tie for my appearance. The other two came in jeans and T-shirts.
“Mike!” laughed Cam. “What are you wearing a suit for? You look like you’re the one on trial!” I looked around. Indeed, the only people who seemed to be dressed as nicely as me were the people who were on trial and their lawyers! And I didn’t look like a lawyer.
“I thought you had to wear a suit to court,” I said in ignorance.
Without going into details, here’s what I remember:
- Cam got a parking ticket because there wasn’t any parking available.
- We spent hours waiting in a room that looked like school class room. Hungry and unable to leave, we decided to order a pizza. We pooled our cash together but didn’t have much left for a tip. I remember that the delivery guy threw the extra coins back at us.
- A year after the incident, I couldn’t remember what the guy looked like. I remember him being big, and bald. That was not enough to satisfy the court that I could recognize the accused. My testimony was all but useless.
I remember reading in the paper a short while later that the defense lawyer got his client off. It wasn’t really a surprise to me.
I only had to go to court twice, both for this one case. The experience left me with a bad taste in my mouth. The store had paid cash for the CDs we bought from this guy, but we never got compensated for them when the police took them as evidence. In my experience, we only ever got compensated once, and that was just for four CDs. Although we always cooperated with the system, and made sure we always followed procedure, we got burned too.
The final part in my series of Trailer Park Boys reviews, as we gear up for the debut of Seasons 8 & 9!
Part one: Seasons 1 & 2
Part two: Season 3
Part three: Season 4
Supplimental: “Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself”
Part four: Season 5
Part five: Season 6
Part six: Season 7
Part seven: “Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys”
“Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys”, the “final” Trailer Park Boys episode before the big movie Countdown to Liquor Day, is actually one of my least favourite episodes (right down there with “Steve French” and “Oscar Goldman”). A one hour special tacked on after Season 7, “Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys” follows Ricky, Julian and Bubbles after their big haul at the end of the last season. It took two years to finally do a DVD/Blu-ray release. To date, this is the only Trailer Park Boys episode released to Blu-ray. The movies, of course, are available on Blu.
Thought that the boys had finally made it rich, and everything was sweet? You’d certainly think so after seeing the hunky-dory last episode in Season 7. This is not the case! Turns out Julian has hidden the money, until such time as he feels it’s safe to distribute it. Ricky’s Shitmobile does have some sweet new rims, but it is now missing a tire. Old recurring nemesis Sam Losco knows about the cash, and with the help of Barb Lahey, finds out where it’s hidden. Before you can say “shit tides”, Ricky, Julian and Bubbles are broke once again, and Lahey is back on the liquor.
Another scheme is hatched, this time revolving around a Country & Western dance. Can the boys make a little cash, or will Lahey win yet again? One thing for certain: you can count on some dirty dancing, backstabbing schemes, and Philadelphia Collins eating balogna sandwiches. That I promise you.
Look for cameos by The Tragically Hip (specifically Gordon Downie and Bob Baker). Blu-ray bonus features are sparse either way, just some behind-the-scenes stuff. It does come with a cool Bubbles-as-Scarface mini poster though. That would look cool in your man-cave.
Unfortunately “Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys” did not feel like a proper episode. It felt like an afterthought. It was revealed that a full season was intended, but all those ideas were distilled down into one episode. Good thing the boys will be back on TV this fall.
Part six in my series of Trailer Park Boys reviews, as we gear up for the debut of Seasons 8 & 9!
Even though it’s the most different from the classic, early seasons, the 7th and final season of Trailer Park Boys may be my favourite. It featured a lot of changes, buit the show seemed revitalized by them.
Gone are Cory and Trevor, never to return (well, Trevor at least). In their stead are some new chracters: Tom Collins, the two “alien Trevors”, and expanded roles for Philadelphia and Jacob Collins. (Yes, apparently they are related! Nice ret-con.)
Ricky and Julian have roped Bubbles into helping them with their meat stealing business. Things go bad for Bubbles when he’s left in a freezing meat locker. (“Just pretend it’s winter,” says Rick. “Pretend you’re making snowmen out of meat.”) Bubbles decides never to work with the boys again, and then heads down to the United States with Ray (who is back on the road) selling scrap metal. Things go bad yet again when Ray is arrested for picking up two prostitutes (“friends of the road”), with Bubbles left hanging without a ride.
True friends Ricky and Julian head down to Maine to rescue Bubs, and to cheer him up, take him to a model train convention. There they meet Sebastian Bach (Skid Row) who wants to buy some of Ricky’s dope. A plan is set in motion, combining Bubbles’ skill with model trains and the Bach plan.
In other twists, Randy’s been messing around, and Lahey is still a cop, albeit things didn’t exactly work out for him the way he wanted them to. Jacob is obsessed with Julian, who realizes that he and his two “alien Trevor” buddies will make perfect “jail cover”. When Conky shows up, things get fucky.
Beefed up to 10 episodes, the 7th season was a change of pace. A fresh direction was much needed after the 6th season, when it seemed Clattenberg and Co. were just treading water a bit. Having Sebastian Bach appear in multiple episodes was a stroke of genius, trumping the previous one-off with Alex Lifeson. Bach is hilarious.
The Rickyisms, amazingly, might be even more clever and off the wall this time. Another well written season, the absurdity of this show has been taken to an entirely new level. Smuggling dope across the border via a model train? It’s so stupid that you can’t help but laugh. All this leads up to a hilarious cross-border confrontation.
Sometimes a show suffers when new characters are needlessly added. I don’t think that happened here. Beefing up the characters of Jacob and Phil, as well as introducing Tom Collins, was exactly what this show needed before it seemed like it was on repeat. Sometimes a show needs a shot of new blood after this many seasons, and Trailer Park Boys was very lucky to have the entire original cast intact for 6 whole seasons plus a feature film. In addition, this season wraps up in a nice neat little package like never before. You may even get warm fuzzies. But will it last?
No, it wasn’t to last. One last episode was tacked on (“Say Goodnight To The Bad Guys”) which we will talk about next time. The jail-freedom-jail-freedom cycle never ends!
Yeah, season 7 is probably my favourite. Not a weak episode in the bunch, and a great story arc.
Part 5 in my series of Trailer Park Boys reviews, as we gear up for the debut of Seasons 8 & 9!
Season 6 of Trailer Park Boys, that Canadian “mockumentary” program about three lovable ex-cons who can’t stay out of trouble, shall forever be remembered for two simple words:
Yes, piss jugs. Seems that Ricky’s father Ray (Barrie Dunn) is still living in his old truck cab, and can’t break the old trucker habit of peeing in jugs. “Way of the road boys,” he says, even though his truck cab doesn’t move an inch.
Piss jugs of varying hues of yellow and orange inhabit every episode of the brief but hilarious season 6. There are only six episodes once again, but five of those six are classic. (The only one I didn’t enjoy as much was “Where in the Fuck is Oscar Goldman”.)
As for this season’s story arc: Randy has finally dumped Mr. Lahey for his out of control drinking. Randy then finds a new love in a surprising place, while Lahey straightens himself out. But now he pretends to be drunk, to ensnare Ricky, Julian and Bubbles. His plan? Send them back to prison again, of course. His logic is that if the Boys see him constantly blasted out of his tree, their guard will be down. It will be easier to catch them committing crimes, which is an inevitability. In the meantime, the Boys have started some businesses of their own: “Kittyland Lovecenter” for Bubs, “Garbageland” for Ricky (basically selling stolen goods and garbage), and “Cory and Trevor’s Convenients Store”.
Things get fucky by the fifth (and best) episode: “Halloween 1977″. Seems Halloween of ’77 was the night that Lahey got fired from the police force, kicking off his drinking problem. And he’s just found an old home movie from that night, proving he did nothing wrong and didn’t deserve to be kicked off the force. I’m sure it won’t surprise you that very young versions of Ricky, Julian and Bubbles may have had something to do with it.
Season 6 is more of what you love about Trailer Park Boys. After the somewhat darker Season 5, the 6th season takes you back to a more familiar setting. In a way, this season was treading water a bit, with many familiar story elements returning (Lahey quitting drinking, Randy leaving him again). By the end of the season however, things have been drastically shaken up, which will lead right into Season 7. Stay tuned….