Snippison and Brainikin’s Excellent Adventure: Chapter One – A Tee Bone Man Multiverse Story

Snippison and Brainikin’s Excellent Adventure: Chapter One 

A Tee Bone Man Multiverse Story

[RECAP READING:  The Adventures of Tee Bone Man Chapter 21:  Fate of the Brainiac]

“Come on, Padawan!  The day isn’t won yet!  We don’t rest until every last droid is deactivated!” shouted the Jedi master to his apprentice, as they staggered over boulders and bodies on some battlefield on some planet in a galaxy really far from here.

The apprentice hosltered his laser-boomerang and sighed.

“Master, there are hardly any left!  The only ones remaining are service droids and the odd training remote!”  The apprentice, though younger, sported a luscious moustache of a man twice his age.

“Don’t get snippy with me, Snippison!” commanded the Jedi master.  “The Force tells me there are threats here we have not yet seen.  Can’t you feel it too?”

The apprentice closed his eyes and breathed deep.  He felt the calm and peace of the light side wash over him, even on this battlefield.  “No, master Brainikin.  I can’t.  Are you sure your senses aren’t…distracted?”

The Jedi master laughed.  “Me?  Distracted?  You must be referring to that spot of trouble we found on Cato Nemoidia.  Well as you recall, Snippison…”

“Brainikin!  DROP!” shouted the apprentice suddenly.  He leaped into the air, his laser-boomerang suddenly alight.  Within a second, he had decapitated two probe droids that had snuck up between the rocks.  His master sensed the danger, but not the distance.  He was distracted indeed!

Fortunately, Jedi padawan Snippison was a more-than-capable apprentice.  He swiftly perched himself upon a large boulder, crouched down and reached out with the Force sensing…sensing…

From above, suddenly a Vulture Droid swooped, cannons blazing, far faster than Snippison could throw his boomerang.  He leaped.  With utter precision, just as the Vulture droid was about to take him, he was airborne!  He landed upon the droid’s back, decapitating it with his now-ignited laser boomerang.  The droid bleeped something that you might mistake for pain, but was actually circuits burning out, one after another.  The droid careened down, and Snippison jumped to safety, only mussing his otherwise perfectly kept hair ever so slightly.

“Well done, padawan,” exclaimed Brainikin.  “I feel the battleground is safe for now.”

“That’s three,” answered Snippison as he brushed the dust off his armour.

Unlike the majority of the Jedi order, Snippison wore almost full clone armour into battle. The Jedi council had initially heavily disapproved (especially when Snippison added a series of his own blue identifying marks to it) but had relented, due to the nature of his weapon of choice. Using the laser-boomerang often left him exposed to blaster fire without a reliable way to deflect the shots.

He summoned a hairbrush from a hidden pouch and began grooming his mane.  It was intended as a bit of a boastful gesture, but Snippison also knew the importance of hair care.

Brainkin looked down at the ground, and admitted for the first time, he was indeed distracted.

“What is it, master?” asked the apprentice.  “Is it your secret marriage to Princess Jennidala?  I know that attachment is forbidden.”

Brainikin sat upon a boulder.  “No, my friend, though your perceptions are sharp.  I am indeed stymied by my inability to find the perfect anniversary gift.  What do you get a princess who has the greatest husband?” he shrugged.  “But no, my friend.  Sit.  Talk with me.  I am haunted by something far worse than an empty gift box.”

Snippison saw that Master Brainikin was gravely serious.  He chose a boulder across from his, and sat, leaning forward in attentive listening position.  “Tell me,” he encouraged.

“I’ve been having dreams.  Nightmares,” confessed the Master.

He stopped to collect his thoughts.  There was a lot of information here he was going to have to unpack.

“I think…I think I have witnessed my own murder…but not my own.  This is hard to explain, but did your theory instructors ever mention the Multiverse?”

The padawan cast his mind back.  “Once or twice.  The theory that the galaxy we live in is but one in an infinite universe, and that universe is but one in an equally infinite multiverse.  It never made much sense to me.  I was more interested in practical learning.”

The master smiled.  “I know you are, young one.  But hear me out.  What if it were true?  What if this was one universe among countless?  That means there must be an infinite number of you, and me.  Similar, different, a multitude.”

“I don’t know where you are going with this, master,” said the padawan, trying to keep the old Jedi on topic.  “You were speaking of dreams.”

“Yes, yes,” answered the master hastily.  “I was about to get there.  I sought the advice of some of the oldest masters.  Unfortunately Master Snowda was offworld, fighting in the Clone War.  The only master available to ask was Master Maximus Aximus, and he’s…well, he’s Max the Aximus, isn’t he?  A little on the eccentric side.  But what he told me was this.”  The master took a deep breath.  “When we dream at night, we are dreaming of our other selves in another universe, and what I witnessed was my death…at the hands of another you.”

The padawan took a moment to absorb this.  Then he smiled.  Then he laughed!  “Master, you’re pulling my leg!”

Brainkin frowned.  Then he looked angry.  “No!  Snippison!  Listen to me!”

The padawan turned stonefaced.  He wasn’t joking at all.  He said nothing and listened.

“It was you…but not you.  You had the same hair…but no moustache.  Smooth as a…well, you know the saying.  You wielded a boomerang made not of light but of some kind of metal.  I had my lightsaber, but I could not feel the Force.  I was not a Jedi.  Neither were you.  Yet we were the same people.  The world seemed familiar yet different in the details…and you and I were enemies.  You were taunting me, and though I do not understand the meaning of your words, you provoked an emotional response and struck the killing blow.  Master Snowda was there by my side as I died, but he was not Master Snowda.  He was just a man.  And there were others.  It was as clear as a scene from a holo film.  You killed me, Snippison.  Not you, and not me…but still us.  And that scene has lived with me every night for a month.  I have hidden this from you, and I am sorry.  I should have trusted you sooner.”

The younger man took his time absorbing this information.  He did not doubt his master’s beliefs, only the significance.

“Master, I believe you,” he began.  Start with the good news, he thought.  “And I see how traumatic that vision must have been.  You have always been by side, and so here I am, by your side.”  He stood and stepped next to the older Jedi as if to illustrate his sincerity.  “But, you must move beyond these visions.  Master Snowda would tell you to keep your mind on the here and now.  The Force is mysterious and we know not what it tries to tell us, especially in these dark times.  It could have been a Sith vision, as they know you are a key General in this war.  Incapacitating you would be a major goal achieved for them.  We cannot discount the power of the Sith to do this, nor the…the…”  The apprentice took a moment to find the nicest words he could use.  “We cannot take the testimony of Master Aximus as if it came from the sacred Jedi texts.”

Master Brainikin smiled.  “I knew you would say that,” he laughed.  “And I know that is not the strongest part of my story here.  My point is not whether or not you believe in Multiverse theory or not.  My point is the very reality of the vision has shaken me to my core.  Whether it not it was real, it felt so much so, that I can feel the blade of your boomerang even now.”

The younger Jedi thought for some moments.  Finally he simply said the words that needed to be said.  “I understand, my friend.”

The older man stood.  “Let’s get out of here.  We have shore leave coming, and you know I’m spending mine with Jennidala.”

“As you should!” encouraged Snippison, as he summoned a Republic transport with a “mission accomplished” signal.  “And what are you going to get her?” he prodded.

“And now I’m distracted again!  I better check her Amazon.rpb wishlist.  Thanks, padawan.”

“My pleasure!” smiled the younger Jedi, as something caught his eye.  “Our transport is here,” he pointed, as a Republic Gunship’s distinctive outline could be seen coming over the mountains.

“That was fast,” said Brainikin has he checked his pockets to make sure he had all his equipment.  He placed some goggles over his eyes as those Gunships were known to kick up dust, and this planet only seemed to have two things:  boulders, and dust.

“Least they could do is pick us up fast, after making us wait three days for pickup during the liberation of Mon Cal,” ribbed the padawan.

“Mon Cal food!” gagged the master.

The young one smiled to himself.  He knew Brainikin so well.  Having triggered the memories of getting food poisoning from three days of Mon Cal diet, Master Brainikin will be more focused on his upset stomach the whole flight home.  Too much discomfort to worry about inconsequential nightmares, or yet another anniversary gift.

The Gunship landed, kicking up as much dust as predicted.  The side doors were already open.  The two Jedi boarded the craft, took their seats and buckled in.

“I’m a good padawan,” he said to himself under the sound of the engines’ roar.

Master Brainikin puked over the side of the open hatch while Snippison put on some headphones and smiled.

“Mission accomplished!” He shouted to his barfing partner, who responded with a thumbs up.

“This’ll be a fun flight home,” giggled Snippison.

The end.

 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

 

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM

 

11 comments

        1. And hopefully green too…I do not know yet how Harrison will illustrate him in the future.

          We now have 3 John Snows!

          We have Snowman from our main universe. We have Snowda from this universe. And let’s not forget the mobster “noir” version of you called Snow from the Noiriverse!

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    1. Thank you sir, this was so much fun to write. I hope you can jump in soon with a new chapter of your own. I have written a story summary that will post in January, that will make it easy for everyone to get up to speed and jump in. I can send it to you if you like. IT’s a 2 – parter. You can do anything you want with a story.

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