The Adventures of Tee Bone Man: Tee Bone Man Goes Back to School (Part Two)

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN
PHASE TWO: THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

Chapter Twenty-Four: Tee Bone Man and Superdekes Go Back to School (Part Two)

The bell rang loudly as the children raced back to their desks in Mrs. Powers’ classroom.

“Come on, back to your seats!   You were capable of moving faster on your way out, but not your way back in; now why would that be?” she scolded aloud.  The kids laughed, ignoring her.  Tee Bone Man and Superdekes just chuckled to themselves as they watched the chaos from the front of the room.

“School Daze, eh Tee Bone?” nudged Deke.

“Tick tock, three o’clock,” responded Tee Bone.

The kids were now all sitting attentively, waiting for Tee Bone Man and Superdekes to finish telling the story of their adventures.  While they were out at recess, Deke had sketched some diagrams on the blackboard.

“So, kids, like we were saying earlier, our adventures were about to get a lot more serious.  We told you about our friend Mr. Moustachio.”  Tee Bone noticed that Ripper the squirrel was perched outside the window now, listening to this part of the story.

“The day came when we met Moustachio, for what turned out to be the last time.”  Tee Bone fought to keep his composure.  “It was a crazy, crazy night!  Our adventure took us all the way to an island in the Caribbean; it’s really nice and warm there, which is fine, but we had to fight a bunch of bad guys in the middle of a deadly amusement part!  That was scary, wasn’t it Deke?”

Deke had sketched some illustrations.  “That’s right Tee,” he answered.  He pointed to a picture of a dinosaur and a rollercoaster.  “I had to navigate this shady amusement park ride, while you wound up in the hall of mirrors!”

“I don’t mind telling you kids, that was scary.  Fortunately, it was there we met up with Moustachio and Ripper one more time.”

[FURTHER READING:  Tee Bone Man Chapter 16: A Crazy Crazy Night Part One]

“He saved your tail, if I recall,” reminded Deke.  “Either way, we had to stop a man called Wicked Lester.  And you know from that name alone, he’s not on our side.”

“He had rigged this whole island against us.  From a ‘Psycho Circus’ to a weird creepy rusty kitchen.  It was a bad, bad scene, kids!” exclaimed Tee Bone with a wide expression on his face.

“Fortunately, our good friend the Snowman came along to help us,” added Deke.

[FURTHER READING:  Tee Bone Man Chapter 16: A Crazy Crazy Night Part Two]

“And don’t forget the Brainiac,” added Tee Bone Man.  “He came in with a last-minute save, rest his soul.”

A child in the middle row of the classroom raised her hand like a dart.

“Wait a minute, you were on island in the Caribbean?” she asked sceptically.

Tee Bone nodded affirmative.  “That’s right.”

“And your friends just happened to arrive in time?  Isn’t the Caribbean thousands of kilometers away from here?”

Tee Bone’s mouth was about to open to answer, but the kid kept at him.

“And they all just happened to make it there on time?”  The girl crossed her arms in disbelief.  “This sounds made-up.”

“They had their own transportation,” explained Deke.  “Listen, we’re alive today because of them.”

“Hold up, hold up!”  The kid was not taking this sitting down.  She stood and raised her arms in the air.  “They had their own transportation to the Caribbean?  Are all your friends billionaires?”

“No!  Well, just one.  Maybe two.”  Tee Bone then calmly walked to the girl’s desk and whispered in her ear.  “Listen kid.  Stop asking questions.  If you ask questions it’ll stop making sense, so just sit down in your little chair and keep it zipped!”  Tee Bone made a zipper movement across his lips with his hand.  “Zip it!”

The girl sat quietly in her chair and stuck out her tongue.

“Anyway!  Don’t worry about minor details. Boring stuff!  Trust me!  The point is, we got off the island after we saved the world, again!”

“Well,” interrupted Deke.  “Most of us got off the island.”

A kid in the front gasped.  “What happened?”

“This’ll take some explaining,” began Deke, “But I assume you kids like movies.  Have you seen Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness?”  A couple kids raised their hands.  “Well, I got news for you kids.  Me and Tee Bone…”  The teacher Mrs. Powers glared at him from the back.  “I mean, Tee Bone and I discovered that the multiverse is real.  Everything that exists here and now…also exists in other universes, some identical to ours and most of them vastly different.”  Deke started making sketches on the blackboard of what a whole bunch of universes might look like.  “So out there somewhere, a place so distant from us that we don’t have way to measure it or even a word for how vast the multiverse is…out there somewhere is another you, another me, another Powers, another Tee Bone.  And the reason we know that is because our friend Moustachio is lost out there in it.”

“What happened?!?” shrieked a kid in the back.

“We don’t exactly know,” said Deke.  “We know there was a flash of orange light, and our friend disappeared like that.”  He snapped his fingers.  “But we’ve studied all the evidence we have, and everything says ‘multiverse’.  It’s real and that’s where our friend is right now.”

[FURTHER READING:  Tee Bone Man Chapter 16:  A Crazy Crazy Night Part Three, and Mr Moustachio’s Multitude of Marvellous Multiversal Misadventures]

“Wow,” said Mrs. Powers.  “This is going to make the next science class seem boring by comparison, and you know these kids will be asking multiverse questions that I cannot answer.  You know that, right Deke?  Right Tee Bone?”  Her eyes shot icicles at the two men.  A bead of sweat ran down Tee Bone’s nose and onto his lip.  It quivered in fear.  A feeling the man was simply not used to.

“I…gotta go use the washroom,” said Tee Bone.  “Deke, you wanna handle this next part?”

Deke shrugged.  “I guess I have to.  I should have drank two double-doubles on my way here too.”  One kid laughed.  Clearly his parents were coffee drinkers.  “While Tee Bone’s taking a break, let’s talk a minute about how important it is to take breaks!  I know you kids have lots of homework, but don’t forget to relax and have fun every once in a while.  Tee Bone and I do it too.  We have to!  Otherwise we’d have no energy to fight the bad guys!”  He made punching motions with his hands.  “Lego,” nodded Deke.  “Lego is a good pastime for young and old alike!”

[FURTHER READING:  Tee Bone Man Chapter 14:  Tee Bone Man and Superdekes Discover the Tao, and Chapter 19: Tee Bone and Superdekes Vs. The Lego]

Deke took a deep sip of water so that he could excuse himself for the next pee break.  He then focused himself, for this next part of the story was the darkest and hardest to tell.

“With the multiverse opening up before us, we needed help.  And help we got.  Our friend the Brainiac put us in touch with other super heroes.  Because of him, we put together a team.  We call ourselves the Northern Lights.  You know what that is, right kids?”  All the Thunder Bay kids knew what the Northern Lights are, of course!  “Well we named ourselves that because we are a like a light in our darkest hour!  Today we have eleven members…”

A loud “SQUEE!  SQUEE!” from outside interrupted Deke’s speech.

“Sorry!  Twelve members!  Besides Tee Bone and me…”  Mrs. Powers coughed angrily!  “I mean…Tee Bone and I?  Besides Tee Bone and I, there’s Ripper over there!  Everyone say hello to Ripper the Squirrel!”  The jet-black squirrel waved a paw back.  “We also have our friends the Snowman, Max the Axe, the Mars Man, Mr. Books, and some new friends too.  We call them the King of the Sharks, the Night Ranger, and the Jexciter!  You should see these guys.  The one guy wears a shark hat, one looks like Batman, and the other one never has a shirt on because he’s so muscular!”  Deke popped an impressive muscle on his right bicep.  “We also have an actual knight named Bernard, and an eccentric billionaire named Mr. Durling.  And that’s twelve.  We also have allies in space and in England, and we’re getting stronger every day.”

[FURTHER READING:  Tee Bone Man Chapter 22:  Enter the Durling Foundation]

“What about the Brainiac?” asked a kid who was clearly paying attention.  “You said ‘rest his soul’!”

That’s when Tee Bone walked back into the room.  Deke excused himself as promised, leaving Tee to finish the hard part of the story.

“We lost Brainiac,” he said, taking off his glasses as he looked down at his boots.  He paused.  The silence hung heavy in the air.  “We were looking for clues.  A friend of his was killed.  We were trying to discover who did it.  That’s when Shinzon showed up.”

“The clone?” asked the kid who was paying attention.

“The clone.  At one point or another, we found out he was named after Captain Picard’s evil clone in Star Trek:  Nemesis.  Somebody had a sense of humour when they named him, because Shinzon really is pure evil.  And we’ll get him.  I promise you kids, Shinzon is not coming back to this planet without answering to us.”

[FURTHER READING:  Tee Bone Man Chapter 17:  Tee Bone Man vs. Edie Van Heelin’, Shinzon: Dread and the Fugitive Mind, Chapter 20: The Death of Edie Van Heelin’, Chapter 21: Fate of the Brainiac.

Deke re-entered the room at that moment. “And that pretty much gets us up to speed,” he said.  “We’ve been fighting evil and saving rock and roll for a couple years now, but we have a solid team behind us.  We have a pretty good idea what we are up against.  And we will win.”

Mrs. Powers clapped, and the students followed suit.  “Thank you, gentlemen.  You are welcome back in my classroom any day.”

Tee Bone and Superdekes bowed.  “Any more questions?” asked Tee Bone.

The kid who seemed to be paying attention raised his hand.  “I have a question!”

“Go ahead,” answered Tee Bone.

“Remember your friend Moustachio disappeared in a flash of orange light?  Did it look like that light outside?”  The kid pointed through the window.  Ripper the Squirrel, who was seated outside on the windowsill, turned to look.  There was indeed a flashing orange light outside.  From that light, poured several small figures.  Four-legged figures.  Furry ones.  And they were heading towards the school.”

“C’mon Deke!  We better check this out!”  At that, the two heroes opened the classroom door — where they were confronted by a woman in black.  Her hair was fire red, and she was surrounded by dogs.  Schnauzers!

“Hello, Tee Bone Man.  Greetings Superdekes.  I’m Doctor K.  Let’s talk about my brother,” she growled.  The Schnauzers joined her in growling.

Deke meekly waved hello.  “Hi, lady.  Who is your brother?”

This only seemed to make her angry.   “You don’t remember me.  I was at the funeral.  You were supposed to protect him.  Instead you brought home his body.”  The Schnauzers continued to growl.  Tee Bone and Deke stepped out of the classroom into the hallway and closed the door behind them.

“Ohhhh…” answered Tee Bone.  “The Brainiac.  I’m so sorry for your loss, Doctor K.  We did our best to save him, but we were too late.  The evil clone Shinzon got to him first.  But we are not resting until we catch him.  Him and his boss, the one who sent him, Lord Tyranus.  We’re onto them both.  I assure you, we won’t rest…”

“ENOUGH!” she screamed.  She then removed a bass clarinet from a black leather case by her side.  “I’m here for my revenge!”  She blew into the mouthpiece.  Tee Bone and Superdekes were immediately thrown against the wall by the blast of bass!

“Ouch!” yelled Tee Bone.  “Take it easy Doc, let us help!”

“YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH!”  She prepared to blast them again.

“Quick!  To the gymnasium!” cried Deke.  The two ran out a side door, but Doctor K and her Schnauzer army were ready.

“You think you can run?  I recruited this Schnauzer army from the furthest reaches of the multiverse!  The most vicious Schnauzers ever bred.  Schnauzers…ATTACK!”  She pointed at the two men running down the hall, and they pursued with drool dripping from their sharp fangs!

The pair ran towards the gymnasium, and slammed the doors behind them.  They could hear Schnauzers thudding against the doors, and they struggled to hold them shut.

“What do you we do now Tee?” asked Deke.  “We can’t fight the Brainiac’s sister, and we can’t hurt those cute but vicious animals.  We’re stuck, buddy!  You even left your guitar back in the classroom!”

“I’m as stymied as you, buddy.  Keep holding that door…we need a plan!”

“I’m trying!  Those Schnauzers are too tough!” answered Deke.

Suddenly there was a blast of bass.  The doors shattered, and our two heroes were thrown like rag dolls onto the gymnasium floor.  Doctor K strode through, followed by her army of animals.  Tee Bone rubbed his head from the fall.  Deke’s face was bleeding from shattered glass.  Tee Bone raised his hand in a “stop” motion.

“Doctor K…you have to listen to us!”  The doctor interrupted him before he could finish.

“My brother listened to you and you got him killed!  Why shouldn’t I finish you right now?”  The Schnauzer army was ready to strike, teeth bare and hungry.  They quietly growled.

“What if…what if we promised to bring you Shinzon?  He’s the one who did it…what if we brought you the real killer?” asked Tee.

Doctor K lowered her bass clarinet and commanded the Schnauzers to heel.

“Bring me the ‘real’ killer.  You have 30 days.  If you fail, I guarantee these Schnauzers will taste your blood!  Just as the day time turns into night time…just like the rich man needs lots of money…I will be back.  30 days.”  She then blew a series of special notes on her bass clarinet.  It summoned an orange light.

“30 days!” she reminded them, as she stepped through the orange portal with her army and disappeared.

Tee Bone and Superdekes sat on the ground, one sweating and one bleeding.

“I think the plot just thickened,” said Deke.

To be continued….

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

 

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM

 

 

 

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