Author: mikeladano

Metal, hard rock, rock and roll! Record Store Tales & Reviews! Grab A Stack of Rock and more. Poking the bear since 2010.

REVIEW: KISS – Alive III (1993)

Part 31 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

KISS – Alive III (1993)

I like Alive III, but I don’t think any fan can say it’s as good or better than I or II.  How could it be?  Artificial or not, Kiss Alive! is one of the greatest live albums of all time.  Alive II was a contender.  Alive III simply could not live up to either.

If it didn’t sell well, I don’t particularly blame Kiss.  It was the summer of “live albums”.  Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, and Iron Maiden all had double live discs out that summer, and that’s a lot of money to be spent by the devoted rock fan.

Although the first two Alives avoided song overlap, Alive III does contain some old Kiss songs that were previously played on one of the first two:

  • “Deuce”
  • “Detroit Rock City”
  • “Rock And Roll All Night”
  • “Watchin’ You” (given a funkier touch here by Bruce)

Everything else is a more recent vintage, and rightfully so. Kiss hadn’t done a live album in 16 years at this point, so there were lots of new songs to play. “Creatures Of The Night” had been a setlist staple for ten years at this point.

Performance wise, this is really good. With Bruce Kulick and Eric Singer in the band, Kiss had evolved to a sleeker machine. The songs were played much more expertly, and not as loose. A critic would use the word “mechanically” but it’s just different, and a matter of taste. Bruce Kulick at this point was not playing his solos with as much 80’s trickery, and was now much more suited to playing Ace Frehley’s songs. Eric Singer seemed to master a nice middle ground between Peter Criss and Eric Carr’s styles.  He is in fact my favourite Kiss drummer because of his creativity on the kit.

All songs are sung by Gene and Paul, although Eric sings very nice backups.  There is one instrumental, Bruce Kulick’s guitar showcase on the “Star Spangled Banner”, never recorded by Kiss in studio form!

On the negative side, I don’t like the production, once again by Eddie Kramer who also helmed the first two.  It sounds too polished.  The audience sounds artificial, pasted on.  When Paul raps, the audience just screams through, there’s no reaction.

Interestingly, there are a total of five songs from Revenge (including the Japanese/vinyl bonus track “Take It Off”). That shows how strong the new material was, and why there aren’t more Kiss oldies.  It is a shame that today Kiss doesn’t sprinkle that much new material into setlists.

A point of trivia, at one point the inclusion of a brand new studio song called “Carnival Of Souls” was discussed. It was finally released a decade later on Gene’s solo album, Asshole.  So this is the time period from which that song originated.  Astute fans will recognize it as the title of an eventual studio album.

A Gene song was even selected as the first and only single:  “I Love It Loud”.  Personally I feel that even Eric Singer can’t play this song like Eric Carr did.  And it’s way too overplayed now.

Alive III is not as essential as the first two, but if you pick up the Alive Box, which is the route I stronly suggest you take, you’ll get them all (with the exception of the symphonic Alive).   Listening to I, II and III in a row will reveal growth and a strong catalogue of songs not immediately noticeable otherwise.

4/5 stars

With the long-awaited Alive III now behind them, Kiss began work on a number of new projects, including their own tribute album, a studio album to be called Head, and an acoustic “konvention” tour.  Check this space again for all that and more.

REVIEW: KISS – Revenge (1992)

Redemption! Part 30 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

I still love this video.

KISS – Revenge (1992)

The death of Eric Carr at age 41 was a terrible tragedy.  A guy who lived a healthy lifestyle, struck down by cancer, at the peak of his talents.

The initial concept of having Eric Carr play on half of Revenge and Eric Singer the other half was shelved.  Carr was simply too sick, something he had a hard time accepting, according to Dale Sherman in his excellent Carr-centric book Black Diamond.  When Eric Carr passed, bringing Singer into the fold was a natural step.  Singer had already worked with Paul Stanley on his 1989 solo tour.

Eric Carr did manage to record background vocals to the preview single, “God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II”, before passing in November 1991.

Kiss felt like they had something to prove on Revenge.  After a series of poppy albums and lacklustre tours, they found their roots again.  In addition producer Pop Ezrin challenged Bruce Kulick to better himself and make his soloing more aggressive. As a hard-fought result, Kulick’s guitar had never sounded better. It is mean, aggressive, like blood splattering on the railroad tracks. Wah-wah pedals and effects came to the forefront and it completely suited the music that Kiss had written.

“Unholy”, the first song and first single, was also the first Gene Simmons lead vocal in a Kiss single since “I Love It Loud”. It sounds like the demonic half-brother to “War Machine” from Creatures Of The Night. Indeed, if Revenge would be compared to any previous Kiss album it should probably be Creatures.

“I Just Wanna” was the second single, a Paul song. Sadly it is quite a transparent rewrite of “Summertime Blues”. It also has a silly chorus: “I just wanna fuh-, I just wanna fuh-, I just wanna forget you.” Despite this it’s also one of the catchiest tunes on the album, and quite irrestible despite its flaws.

Third single, “Domino”, was another Gene track, this one the most vintage-KISS of them all. It is a basic stripped down groovy rock track with Gene singing about a girl named Domino who “got me by the balls”. The video was quite unique in that it featured Kiss playing as a trio, Paul on bass, while Gene was out cruising in his car. Bruce’s soloing here is really good.

Fourth and final single from the album was “Every Time I Look At You” featuring Bob Ezrin on piano. It’s another power ballad, along the lines of “Forever” or the later “I Finally Found My Way”. Sadly in the era of grunge it was quickly forgotten, but aside from a very nice version with strings from MTV Unplugged it is largely forgettable anyway.  Inferior to “Forever” despite the superior production values.

The rest of the tracks include “Take It Off”, Paul’s tribute to strippers everywhere, and very similar in style and tone to “I Just Wanna”. Paul’s “Tough Love” channels S&M, a bit and is a very cool heavier rock track with some great Bruce solos. “Spit” is quite possibly the album’s best song, and the most fun.  Paul even quotes Spinal Tap:  “The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'”. Its vocals are split between Gene and Paul, a rarity in later Kiss. Bruce’s solo here is awesome. His technique is stunning, the solo is both amusing and jaw-dropping.

“Side 1” of the album ended with a remix of “God Gave Rock And Roll To You II”, previously released on the Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey soundtrack.  Not really an outstanding song, it’s a semi-cover of an old Argent song and again features Gene and Paul splitting the lead vocals.

“Side 2” kicks off with the Vinnie Vincent-penned “Heart of Chrome”, one of Paul’s coolest titles and another outstanding track, somewhat similar to “Tough Love”. Gene’s “Thou Shalt Not” covers similar lyrical territory as “Cadillac Dreams” from the last album, but is a much better song.  It is very catchy and has some cool licks on guitar. “Paralyzed” is another Gene track, only this time the verses are cooler than the chorus. There’s also a nifty spoken word bit in the middle as only Gene can do, kind of funky.

The album ends with “Carr Jam 1981”, an Eric song which had circulated in collector’s circles for a long time, except with Ace Frehley on lead guitar. It was recorded by Ezrin during The Elder sessions which yielded a ton of unused song ideas. Ace Frehley decided to use it himself in 1987 as “Breakout”, on the Frehley’s Comet album. This version however replaces Ace’s guitar with Bruce Kulick’s.  Eric Carr plays the only drum solo he ever recorded in the studio.  It is a very fitting tribute to the man who helped Kiss get through some very tough times, and didn’t live long enough to play drums on this fantastic album.

Some fans heard the heavier sound on this CD and accused Kiss of selling out to grunge. Not so; the album was released in early 1992 and was written before grunge took hold. Music was naturally moving in a heavier direction at the time, and Kiss were part of that.  Kiss’ recent evolution had shown that Revenge was the only possible next step.

Well, other than a reunion.  And Revenge would prove to be the last studio album released (though not recorded!) before the long-awaited return of the original Kiss.

4.5/5 stars

Part 90: The Speaker

In any business you have to get yourself noticed.  You have to make yourself known to the people.  You see some places like restaurants and music stores with small speakers outside, playing music, letting people know, “Hey, we’re open!”

We attempted the same thing, but less successfully…I hated that damned speaker.

Somewhere we dug up the biggest oldest speaker from the 1970’s.  It was ancient, massive, and weighed a ton.  It also sounded like garbage, but was hooked up to a 5 disc changer playing the top 40.  That part was OK, because it was always better for me to have top 40 playing outside, not inside!

We all hated the speaker.  It was heavy as hell so some people had trouble putting it in and out each day.  But that was only one issue.  We also had the other problems:

  1. “That speaker is too damn loud!  Turn it down or turn it off!”  We’d get this complaint from other tenants in the plaza.  
  2. We had also our fine neighbors, restaraunts and pawn shops and so on, complain about the lack of variety.  Could we please hear something other than Big Shiny Tunes this week?  Stuff like that.
  3. Just like our sidewalk sign, it took up half the sidewalk, meaning people would occasionally walk headlong right into it.
  4. “Hey, what’s that song you were just playing outside?”  Not a bad reaction, getting people to buy a CD that we were playing.  Problem:  I couldn’t hear the outside music.  So I’d have to take a look at what discs were in the player and take a guess.  And when it’s all top 40 crap that sounds the same, well, that could take a while!

I hated polluting the quiet mornings with Much Dance, I just wished one day somebody would have stolen that damned speaker.  Hah, fat chance.  Not only was it huge but who the hell would have wanted it?

That’s our speaker right there dammit!

MOVIE REVIEW: KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (aka: KISS in Attack of the Phantoms)

You know what I forgot to review? KISS Meets the Phantom! So, belatedly: Part 29 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

“I will destroy you!  All of you!  You, Kiss, will be my instrument!”

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (NBC, 1978)

Context:  In 1978 Kiss were arguably the biggest band in the world.  Like the Beatles before them, they sought to conquer movies as they prepared to do their solo albums.  They did it…much less successfully than the Beatles.

I’ll try not to shoot ducks in a barrel here.  This made for TV movie is now available in its superior international version on the KISStory II DVD set.  It’s marginally better than the version we’ve had to endure here.  It had more Kiss music (17 songs) and a different cut to the film.

However if you want campiness at its 1970’s worst, watch the regular version.  Bad acting, no budget, bad dubbing (even Peter Criss was dubbed, by Michael Bell!), hell the special effects from the 1967 season of Star Trek are vastly, incalculably superior.  The familiar North American version excises much of Kiss’ original music and replaces it with disco funk!  Chicka-chicka-chicka guitars and hilarious horns.  Oh, and on top of it, Ace has hardly any lines beyond “Ack”!

Phantom stars classic Bond villain Anthony Zerbe as the insane Abner Devereaux, the mastermind behind the amusement park’s “amazing” robots!  (Incidentally that’s two actors who later appeared in Star Trek:  Bell and Zerbe.)  And of course Gene, Paul, Ace and Peter headline as well, even though they don’t even appear in the movie for what seems like an hour.

Plot?  Fuck it.  Who cares.  Madman in theme park is insanely jealous of Kiss.  Kiss have super powers.  Madman sends robots after them.  The end.

The movie is notable on the positive side for some exclusive music:  An acoustic version of “Beth”, and something called “Rip and Destroy” which was “Hotter Than Hell” with new (evil) lyrics.  I don’t know who plays the guitar on “Beth”, but it’s not someone from Kiss.  Paul mimes it in the video.  “Rip And Destroy” basically consists of one verse and one chorus repeated ad nauseum.  Having said that, fans have been begging for years for an official release of these songs.  Maybe on a future box set?  That would be cool.

For the film, 1/5 stars.

REVIEW: KISS – “God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II” single (1991)

Part 28 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster! 

KISS – “God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II” (1991 CD single)

As part of their “Hey, let’s try anything!” modus operadi, Kiss decided to record a single with old producer Bob Ezrin.  It was all a part of their greater scheme to drop the pop and get back to their rock roots.  Working with Ezrin, who produced both their greatest commerial success (Destroyer) and failure (The Elder), was a tentative step to see what the chemistry would be like this time.  The single was the perfect chance to test drive the partnership.

Released in conjunction with the movie Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, this new Kiss single was also a first in that Kiss were contributing a brand new song to a movie soundtrack.  This version is actually a different mix than that later on Revenge, so this single still is an exclusive of sorts.

“God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II” (my God what a cumbersome title) is a reworking of an old Argent tune, hence the II.  At the time I didn’t think much of it, and I still don’t.  It’s not a personal favourite of mine.  It’s a little slow, although very anthemic and perfect for the live setting.  It does feature Gene and Paul singing lead together, a rare thing indeed and a first since…when?  A long time anyway.  It also has some sweet harmony vocals from Eric Carr…his last recording with Kiss before succumbing to cancer way too young at age 41.  While he underwent treatment, Eric Singer played drums on the song.  This was all kept secret in 1991 before Carr died; in hindsight you can tell it’s Singer on drums.  Carr even gave it his all, playing drums in the music video.

The other two tracks were also exclusive to the movie soundtrack:  “Junior’s Gone Wild” by King’s X, and “Shout it Out” by Slaughter.  Both bands were experiencing increased success and fans were eager for new music.  “Junior’s Gone Wild” sounds like something not too far removed from King’s X in-the-making fourth album.  “Shout it Out” is a typical Slaughter party rocker, as good as anything on their debut.  A bit shrill and and sweet by today’s standards though.

2.5/5 stars

Part 89: Pranks 3.0 – The Case of the Disappearing Mars Bar

MARS

RECORD STORE TALES PART 89:  Prank 3.0 – The Case of the Disappearing Mars Bar

 

Rewind to 1994.

It was just one store, and just the three of us:  Trevor, myself, and the owner.  We had an awesome comraderie back then, and it was based both on mutual respect and humour.  At the time I doubt there would have been a better more knowledgeable staff at any store in town than us three.

But we joked around a lot.  It wasn’t beyond us to “tag” another one with a magnetic security tag somewhere on their clothing, setting off alarms everywhere.  It was all in good fun.

I showed up for work one night with a small bag, just a soda and a Mars bar inside.  I always came in early to check out what was newly arrived.  As I unpacked, my boss looked at my sorry excuse for a dinner and admonished me.  Always health conscious, he asked me about the Mars bar and if I knew how much sugar that was and so on.  “How can you eat this crap?” he finished.  I chuckled; I was 22  and hadn’t given it any thought.  He was mostly just ribbing me anyway.

Meanwhile, the boss was going through the cash register to decide what we needed in terms of small change.   Then, he sent me to the bank to do the change run, before he packed it in for the day.  When I returned with the change, he left me with instructions for the evening and departed.  I went about my business picking out discs to listen to that night.  (Based on the period I calculate with 97.8% certainty that one of those titles would have been Superunknown by Soundgarden, Balls to Picasso by Bruce Dickinson, or Jar of Flies by Alice in Chains.)

It was a slow night, and a couple hours later I had the munchies.  My Mars bar…it was gone!

I looked everywhere for it.  It could have fallen behind the counter.  Or maye I left it on top of a pile of discs?  No luck.  It didn’t turn up.  I know I brought it because I talked about it with…with my boss!

I had fallen victim to the classic “Steal the Snacks” game.  It wouldn’t be the last, and it’s a game I took to playing myself.  I love the way he blindsided me with the health talk on the Mars bar.  I didn’t even see it coming!

REVIEW: KISS – Hot In The Shade (1989)

Part 27 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster! 

KISS – Hot In the Shade (1989)

When we last met, I was bitching about Kiss going pop and losing sight of its roots.  Hot In the Shade represents the first tentative steps back in the right direction.  It wasn’t a home run, but it did at least get a runner on base.

By this time, two important events had occurred:

  1. Paul Stanley confronted Gene Simmons about his lack of participation in Kiss.  Gene agreed with Paul’s diagnosis and was back on board creatively.
  2. Paul Stanley had completed a small solo club tour with Eric Singer, playing a lot of Kiss’ old music.

Kiss knew they had to get back to rock and roll, so Hot In the Shade represents a scattershot approach:  try anything, and see what works.  You’ll hear things as diverse as horn sections (“Cadillac Dreams”), female backing vocals (“Silver Spoon”), acoustic slide guitar (“Rise To It”) and speed metal (“Boomerang”).  All things rooted in rock, but not necessarily from the roots of Kiss.

It was with baited breath that I awaited the debut of the forthcoming new Kiss video on MuchMusic.  Would they finally get back to rock, and drop the keyboards and the dancing?

“Hide Your Heart”, the first single, had a more serious video with a storyline, and Paul was playing a vintage guitar again! He wasn’t posing with it, he was playing it!  The song was more rock, no keyboards in sight, and had that irresitable “Ahh ahh ahh, hey hey hey, do do do” chorus. It was a step in the right direction. I couldn’t wait for the album.  (Ace Frehley also released his own version of “Hide Your Heart” on his solo album Trouble Walkin’, almost simultaneously.)

I remember buying the cassette tape on a school field trip in grade 12, and listening to it on a Walkman in the bus. The first sounds I heard were Paul Stanley’s* bluesy slide licks as the intro to “Rise To It”. A positive start.

Then, the band kicked in, and “Rise To It” really impressed me. The drums courtesy of Eric Carr were loud and clear, the song a little heavier than previous Kiss tunes, and Bruce was wailing. I opened up the J-card and read the liner notes.

I was surprised to see that Vini Poncia, the producer who did the Kiss disco albums, was back as a songwriting partner with Gene and Paul. I also saw that Tommy Thayer of Black N Blue co-wrote two songs with Gene (“Betrayed” and “The Street Giveth”). This was only Tommy’s first writing credit with Kiss.  There would be many more.

I also saw a song written by Paul and Michael Bolton called “Forever”…uh oh, that couldn’t be a good thing.

But it wasn’t bad. “Forever” was an acoustic ballad at least, with only minor texture keyboards in the background.  Bruce nailed an absolutely perfect acoustic guitar solo, the kind you can hum the melody to.  I still relish Eric Carr’s drumming on it, which is unusually hard hitting for a ballad.

Moving along, I finally I got to the song that Eric co-wrote, called “Little Caesar” which struck me as an odd title. It took a few seconds, but I realized that Eric was singing it too! Finally, a proper original Eric Carr lead vocal. I always felt that Kiss needed to incorporate Eric Carr more in lead vocals, and his version of “Beth” from the previous album was a crappy way to give him his first .

“Boomerang” was and probably still is the fastest song that Kiss has ever done.  It’s obvious Kiss were trying to emulate speed metal, which was starting to happen at the time. It wasn’t a great song, but I was impressed that Kiss really were shedding the pop that we all hated so much.

In hindsight, Hot In the Shade breaks down to three good-to-great songs: the singles “Hide Your Heart”, “Forever”, and “Rise To It”. “Little Caesar” is also pretty good, but not up to the standards of the singles. Other songs such as “King of Hearts” have interesting parts or catchy bits, but by and large are filler.  Others, like “You Love Me to Hate You” and “The Street Giveth, the Street Taketh Away” are undeniably filler.

Hot In the Shade was bulked out at 15 songs, but probably could have been fine with just 9, like a classic Kiss LP from the 70’s.  As it stands, it’s pretty hard to make it through the whole thing in one sitting.Kiss get an “A” for effort most certainly.  The ship had been drifting for a little while and this album was turning the ship back around. They gave extra value with the length of the album, like it or lump it, and tried many different directions, which were at least rock-based.

Kiss also self-produced this time, and ended up using polished demos for much of the album.  As such it seems to have a flat sound, and Bruce Kulick’s guitar sound lacks warmth.  It would have been nice if they spent more time on the sound.

Sadly, Eric Carr would not live long enough to see the good ship Kiss right itself on Revenge. He passed away from cancer in November 1991.

2.5/5 stars

Incidentally, Kiss put off touring behind this album until 1990, as they were reportedly trying to work on a reunion with Ace Frehley!  No deals were reached and all that happened was a Paul-and-Gene-in-makeup cameo in the “Rise To It” vid.

 

*Confirmed by Bruce Kulick, that’s Paul Stanley on the slide.

REVIEW: KISS – Smashes, Thrashes & Hits (1988)

Part 26 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster! 

SMASHES FRONT

KISS – Smashes, Thrashes & Hits (1988)

October, 1988.  Articles had been spinning through the rock magazines for months that this was the end:  Kiss was on the verge of breaking up.  Gene Simmons was still focused on his label and management company, the last album (Crazy Nights) was a disappointment, and the word on the street was that Kiss were no longer cool.

So, when Gene Simmons was to appear as co-host of the Pepsi Power Hour that day in October, they said it was for a special announcement.  I fully expected it to be an announcement of the farewell tour.

It was not.  It was to promote his new label, $immons Records, and his signing, the excellent House Of Lords.  And, to announce the forthcoming release of Smashes, Thrashes & Hits:  the new Kiss greatest hits CD with two new songs.  And a remake of “Beth”.  With Eric Carr singing.

I received the album for Christmas that year.  My feelings were quite mixed.

Both new songs were written, sung and produced by Paul Stanley, another indication that Gene was still off in la-la land.  “Let’s Put The X In Sex” is a pretty lame, pretty pop, pretty un-Kiss tune, with a somewhat redeeming horn section.  I was horrified that, in the music video, Paul wasn’t even holding a guitar anymore.  He was just dancing.  Dancing!  At least in the videos from Crazy Nights, he was holding a guitar while dancing.   Somehow I saw this as a symptom of what was wrong with Kiss in the late 80’s.  This was not the same band anymore.

The second new song, “(You Make Me) Rock Hard” (a double entendre that I missed completely), is a slightly more uptempo song which almost qualifies as a rocker.  It has an insanely catchy pre-chorus.  Which is something I’d actually like to draw your attention to.  See below, please:

Try to ignore the dancing, Paul hugging a very bouffant Gene, just skip to the 1:50 mark.  Watch Gene’s lips.

Paul sings, “You make me sweat, you turn me ’round,” but Gene can be clearly seen mouthing, “you turn me up.”  He doesn’t even know the words to the song, and that made it into the video.  He was clearly asleep at the wheel!

The rest of the album was filled with hits, none with Ace nor Peter singing.  Hence, “Beth”.  It’s always been said that Kiss have tried to erase Ace and Peter from their history and here’s a great example.  In addition, Eric’s voice is simply too sweet, it needs rasp to do this song.  It’s unfortunate that this was Eric’s first lead vocal.

You should know that many of the hits were remixed — virtually everything from the original lineup.  Some of the remixes are quite good (I love this version of “Love Gun” with the extended guitar bit), some are not.  “I Love It Loud” lacks the oomph of the drums, and the false ending.

Of note:  Not one song from Crazy Nights made the cut (except in the U.K., where “Reason To Live” was added).  I’ve always felt this was a subliminal message as to the quality of that album too.

Smashes, Thrashes & Hits represents the absolute lowest point of this era of Kiss.  The dancing, the pop, the terrible videos, I was fed up.  Fortunately, Gene got his brain back and the band began to steer the ship back in the right direction.  In my opinion the first real step began with Paul Stanley’s solo tour (with Bob Kulick and Eric Singer), where he reconnected with the fans and the music.

Better things were to come, but not yet.

2/5 stars

Part 88: The Only Time I Called the Cops

October.  These two shady, shady guys came in looking for the new “Limp Daddy” (Limp Bizkit).  After buying “Limp Daddy” they told me they had a van full of stereo equipment, good prices, did I want to buy anything?  No thanks!  I’d seen guys like this around before, selling stolen speakers and car decks.

They came back later in the day to buy more stuff, in total they dropped about $200 in a day.  They were just buying whatever crap was on the charts that they had heard.  They were buying discs like they didn’t care.  Good for sales, yes, but I had this vibe that they would be back.

Sure enough a couple weeks later they were back to return the discs they bought.  They had been opened and played.

“I used my boss’ money to buy these, and he doesn’t want them, so I need my money back.”

Now, this wasn’t the most unique reason I’d heard for returning discs, I’ve heard much more original reasons over the years.  (“I got five of these for my birthday so I need to return all of them”, “I found this”, “I’m not allowed to have this”)    But I guess this guy’s boss was pissed about him spending the money on discs.  Maybe he should have thought of that before he spent his boss’ money.

And knowing that this guy sold stolen car stereo equipment for a living, I’d hate to meet his boss.

I explained our return policy and told him that once he’s opened the wrapper and kept it for two weeks there was nothing I could do for him besides buy it back used, at a greatly reduced cost.

“Can’t you just re-seal it and sell it again?” he asked.

“No, because it’s not new anymore.  It’s used.”

“Well then what are all those sealed discs I see behind you there?” he persisted.

“Those are brand new, I can’t just seal up a disc and sell it for $16 man!”

“Oh man, my boss is going to kill me.  You have to do something for me,” he moaned.

“I wish I could, but really after this much time…I mean my boss would kill me too.”

“You have to give me the money back.  I’m not leaving until I get it,” he threatened.  I never did too well with threats at work.  I don’t like people getting my back up against the wall.  It doesn’t work with me.  Threatening me was the one way to make sure I don’t give you what you wanted.  Any chance of him getting even a dime out of me just ended.

“Well, I guess if you want to stay, we’re open ‘til 9.  You’re going to have to move though.  I have other customers that need to pay.”

He really, really didn’t like that.  His buddy stood silent behind him laughing as he continued to make a nuisance of himself.

“Yeah?  You want me to move?  I’m not moving.  I’m standing right here until you give me my money.”

“Well, you’re going to have to move when people want to pay, just telling you right now.  This is a business not a hangout,” I said.

“Yeah?  This is a business eh?  Do you like it when I push these buttons?  Or how about this, do you like when I play with your computer?”  He reached over the counter and started hammering keys on my keyboard, and buttons on our VISA machine.  The VISA machine beeped in protest as he continued to hit buttons, and windows began popping up on my computer screen.

“If you don’t leave right now, I’m going to have to call the cops.”

“Yeah?  You’d like that wouldn’t you?  Go ahead and call them.  Go ahead.”  He grabbed my phone.  “Call them.  Go ahead.”

“I just did,” I said as I hit the panic button.

Well next thing you know, him and his buddy were out the door without another word.  They bailed and they bailed fast.  The cops called to confirm the emergency and I told them that the two trouble makers had left.  They told me to call back if I had trouble with them again.  (I’m sure they would have been interested in the stereo equipment in their van!)

Of course after a confrontation like that, you worry about the person returning.  My buddy Shane Schedler, who is about 7 feet tall and 250 lbs, came in later that night and I told him how my day had gone.  I told him about the two dudes in the van and how I had to call the cops on them.

“Do you want me to stay until you close?  I don’t mind you know,” Shane said.  It was getting close to closing time anyway.

“Yeah!  That would be fine, I appreciate that man.  They wouldn’t mess with a guy your size.”

Shane laughed.  I’m sure he knew that.

A week later I did see the guys again, in the parking lot.  Incredibly, they apologized for their behaviour.  That part was a first!

REVIEW: KISS – Crazy Nights (1987)

Part 25 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster! 

KISS – Crazy Nights (1987)

Gene Simmons, still off in la-la land ($immons Records, managing Liza Minelli), was about as far removed from the demon as you could get.  Looking quite womanly, and no longer singing in his “monster voice”, Gene had lost it by 1987.  Paul Stanley was writing songs on keyboards (not a good sign) although Bruce and Eric both made strong songwriting contributions.  The result is Crazy Nights, a record that Bon Jovi could have made, but Kiss?  It didn’t sound like Kiss to me.

Still, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Crazy Nights because it came out when I was in highschool, and I played it nonstop then, even though I questioned Kiss’ direction. (Over)produced by Ron Nevison, Kiss were trying way too hard for radio and video hits. The rock was all but gone. At the same time, the songs are actually pretty well written for the most part. Better, on average, than some songs on Animalize. It’s the gloss and production that sinks Crazy Nights.

Originally titled Who Dares Wins, the album does indeed feature too many keyboards.  I remember being so disheartened by the video for “Reason to Live”, and seeing Bruce Kulick playing keys instead of guitar. Stanley himself didn’t play guitar in the videos either — he wore one, and danced around with it. This didn’t seem like rock and roll anymore.

Here’s my song breakdown.  I just wish there was more oomph to them.

Good to great songs:

“Hell Or High Water”
“Good Girl Gone Bad”
“Turn On The Night”
“No, No, No”

OK songs:

“Crazy, Crazy Nights”
“Reason To Live”
“I’ll Fight Hell To Hold You”
“My Way”

Bad songs:

“When Your Walls Come Down”
“Thief In The Night” (a song written earlier and recorded by Wendy O. Williams first)

So, not bad. Not enough Gene though. That was a problem on a lot of albums from Dynasty to Crazy Nights, there just wasn’t enough Gene. He had become a sideman, not a frontman. Gene’s singing here is smooth, no rasp and no guts.  Paul’s singing is very high and something shrill. It was the 1980’s.

Only one song (“Crazy Crazy Nights”) has been played live since this tour.

Pick it up if you love 80’s rock. Avoid if you don’t.

2/5 stars

There are also several outtakes from this album that were later released:  “Time Traveler” is a Paul Stanley keyboard song that found its way onto The Box Set.  “Boomerang”, a speedy thrash-like number, was re-recorded for the next studio album, Hot In The Shade. “Dial L For Love”, an Eric Carr demo, was released on his posthumous Unfinished Business CD.  Finally, one of the better Paul Stanley songs called “Sword and Stone”, was recorded by Bonfire and released on the soundtrack to the movie Shocker.

I have a couple bootlegs from this tour, seen below.  (Yes, they put Vinnie on the cover of one by mistake!)