Lunch With Ladano yesterday was regarding the events of November 23, 1991. The announcement that Freddie Mercury had AIDS, the worst kept secret in rock. Do you remember?
Lunch With Ladano yesterday was regarding the events of November 23, 1991. The announcement that Freddie Mercury had AIDS, the worst kept secret in rock. Do you remember?
RECORD STORE TALES #1023: “Just the pieces of the man I used to be”
You never know how it’s gonna go.
You roll out of bed feeling like a winner, and then suddenly for absolutely no reason, that completely changes and you’re struggling to break even.
Maybe it’s the pressures of modern life. The hustle and the bustle. The need to get things done, even though you’re behind and energy is in short supply.
The feeling of loneliness even though you are not alone. There’s a dark place in your heart, only inhabited by you, that no one can break into. It’s not that you can’t let them in. It’s that you don’t even know how to open that door. Of if you actually want to. If you’d prefer to be alone.
The daily monotony, the commute, the cold, the damp.
The fact that all the hours of daylight happen when you’re in an office doing your daily grind.
The pressure and drive to do something important, to be someone who matters. To make a difference. To be somebody…anybody…but who you are.
Somehow, a sad song helps. There’s something about a sad song that can pry its way into your soul. Provide sympathy. Warmth. Help you dry the tears. That tells you someone out there is feeling the exact same way you do. It’s as if someone in the world knows you, just as well as you know yourself.
You could be in a room full of happy celebrations, and feel so alone, so completely down, yet have to fake it to make it.
One of the worst winters of my younger life was the winter of ’95-96. I had just been dumped by my first real serious girlfriend. I put on a brave face and for a few days, I thought I had weathered the storm. I listened to “classic British hard blues” that week and felt super strong. The crash came later. One of the albums that helped me through that winter was Queen’s Made In Heaven. The final album with Freddie. Though there is some undeniable dark material on the album, such as “Mother Love”, and “Too Much Love Will Kill You”, I was amazed at how positive some of the other songs such as “Heaven For Everyone” were. The album was like a journey through my own convoluted feelings.
“I’m just the pieces of the man I used to be,
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me.”
Yet on the same album:
“In these days of cold affections,
You sit by me and everything’s fine.”
What will the album for the winter of 2022 be? For the last several years, I’ve been digging deep down into the albums that made me happy as a youth.
“Listen! They said I didn’t stand a chance,
I wouldn’t win no way,
But I’ve got news for you,
There’s nothing I can’t do!”
It was a different time. There was misery, but nothing can duplicate that feeling of hearing a song for the first time. A song that you know means something to you. That is destined to stick with you for your whole life. And when you put those records on again, a million things start happening in your head. You can be 12 or 13 again. A time when the real problems of life were completely unknown to you and the biggest issue you had was figuring out how to talk to the girl you liked.
Like a phantom of a dream, old songs make the memories real again. As you wipe a tear from your eye, you remember. It can help sooth the sadness.
Sometimes you just have to cry it out, whatever it is. Hell, I don’t know what it is exactly. I just know it sucks.
They say that life never hands you anything you can’t handle. I don’t know about that. History is rife with people who could not handle what life has given them. I think I can – but it’s never simple, straightforward, or obvious how to do it.
So I write.
It’s the only thing I’m really good at. The only thing people really notice about me.
I write in the hopes that someone will understand.
That someone will relate.
That someone can take what I have experienced and draw something good from it.
And that maybe I’ll get some of that goodness back.
This winter has been pretty good. My strategies are working. My support personnel are solid. But there will always be days where I can’t help it. Can’t help FEELING IT. The old familiar sting of that cold, unrelenting loneliness. The kind of loneliness that can strike even when you are in a room full of loved ones.
One of the best albums for this time of year is Catherine Wheel’s Adam & Eve record. It captures it all.
“Start the day, in a cold December way, feel what’s new, it’s December through and through.”
And on the same record:
“And we crown ourselves again,
There’s been no change since you and I were young,
When we burned ourselves again,
The spaceship days when you and I were young.”
I crave those spaceship days so hard sometimes. But you can never really go back.
Except with a song.
Come back with me. Join me in my memories, on this sad, cold winter day.
RECORD STORE TALES #1022: Langer the F@ckin’ Wanger
In grades seven and eight of grade school, I was just trying to survive. It was a waiting game now, a trial of perseverance. At the end of grade eight, I would be out of there. My sister Kathryn called it the “Hell Hole”, which is pretty messed up when you think about it, at the ages we were. Just kids. But I only had to survive two more grades and I was done. I’d start fresh at Grand River Collegiate Institute and leave the Hell Hole behind me, forever. Those kids would mostly all be going to a different school, and I’d be with Bob Schipper, whose massive frame intimidated every bully around.
I tended to cautiously keep to myself and a handful of people that I thought I could trust a little bit. Recess was usually pretty bad. Killing 15 minutes in the cold, while trying to stay out of the attention of other kids. It was a lonely existence but survivable.
One afternoon I was out minding my own business by the baseball diamond when the school’s wildest bully, Langer, grabbed me by the throat and threw me down onto the benches.
“I heard what you called me!” he yelled in my face. He had a sidekick, a face I can’t remember, the Grover Gill to his Scut Farkus, except very real and not at all funny. I remember his Grover standing behind him smiling as he choked me.
“I called you Langer,” I recalled as I tried to speak.
“No you didn’t,” he menaced. “You called me Langer the fuckin’ wanger!”
“I did?” I said puzzled. His friend laughed behind him.
“Yeah you did! Say you’re sorry,” he threatened.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
He let me fall to the ground. Nobody came to help, no teachers saw and no students cared.
“I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here,” I thought to myself as I counted the months in my head.
In eighth grade I saw him attack a much smaller kid, a sixth or seventh grader with a lisp. Rock Hudson had just died of AIDS, and AIDS jokes were all the rage with the bullies that year. The funny thing is, we had sex ed that year and the teacher asked the class if we knew what AIDS was. Nobody knew exactly. “It makes you old,” was the closest guess any of them had. But sure, go ahead bullies, make AIDS jokes. They just equated AIDS with gay, as bullies often do.
Langer grabbed this smaller kid and demanded, “Say you’re Rock Hudson!” The kid didn’t know what that meant and said so.
“SAY YOU’RE ROCK HUDSON!” repeated Langer.
“Hudsthon” said the kid, enough to satisfy Langer to release him.
Langer was actually one of the few bullies who did follow me to highschool. However, his selection of classes were physically separated from most of mine, plus Bob was there, and Langer kept his distance when Bob was around. One day he did have a try, but I found him easy to dodge.
“Hey Ladano!” he said I entered the computers lab. “Did you masturbate this weekend?”
“No,” I answered quickly, “But you did.” I had never come up with a one-liner so fast before. I was proud of myself.
I felt his hand grab the back of my shirt as he pulled me out of the classroom and back into hall.
“You’re dead! Today after school!” he threatened.
“Fine!” I said in defiance.
“We meet where you parked your bike, after class!”
“Sure!” I answered.
I walked to school that day; I didn’t ride my bike and didn’t need to go to the bike racks to get home. I just exited through a different door and walked home as normal. Langer never followed up and that was my last encounter with Langer the fuckin’ wanger. The last of the schoolyard bullies, faded away forever.
RECORD STORE TALES #1021: Closing Time! Last Cottage Video of 2022
Jen and I were Highway Stars! Rocking to Deep Purple, live in Copenhagen 1972, we reveled in the joys of jamming, intense improvisation, and hard rock and roll. The perfect accompaniment to our last cottage road trip of 2022. Before we knew it we had arrived at our destination. It may look a little different in the fall, but there is still no place I’d rather spend my weekend.
There was a different kind of beauty this time. Fewer leaves, fewer animals. You could see through the trees, a feeling I was not used to, especially when partaking in the O.D.P. (Out Door Piss). When we were kids, we never made it to the lake in November nor did we want to. It was always far too cold and the snow would have started. Not anymore.
It was unseasonably warm, and within minutes I was in short sleeves and short pants again, just as I was all summer. This is November? I set up on the front porch with more Deep Purple, Ozzy, Dio, and Black Sabbath. It was an utterly brilliant day of rocking the shores of Lake Huron. Then on the Friday night, we went live with the Mad Metal Man and the second episode of Grab A Stack of Rock. A brilliant way to end the season.
Our weekend was quiet and fun, including lots of outdoor rock and roll with board games, a dinner at Boston Pizza (since the barbecue is packed up for the winter) and even a step into Lake Huron. A first for the month of November! We drove home to the music of Black Sabbath (Dehumanizer and Cross Purposes) to put the final nail in the coffin of 2022’s cottage season. For me personally, since this season stretched from late April to early November, it was one of the longest seasons, if not the longest ever. And it couldn’t have gone any better! 2022 was a triumphant season in virtually every way, and we sure did enjoy it.
My dad found the end of this video a tad too emotional! We all miss the place and hate leaving!
I was talking to a friend of mine on Friday about wieners and balls. She receives a lot of unsolicited pictures of wieners on social media and I thought to myself, “Who does that?” A lot of people, it seems. I vowed to never be one of those people.
Saturday morning at the cottage was beautiful. Still dark at 5 am, but unseasonably warm. The trees make really creepy creeking sounds in the morning silence. It was awesome! I decided to make a video for my friend. Walking around outside in my Crocs and undies at 5 in the morning in November seemed like a good subject for a video. I made a video, walked down to the beach in my Crocs, stepped into the water (never done that before in November!) and headed back up to the cottage.
Just as I was about to hit “send” I thought to myself, “You know, I better make sure nothing popped out of my undies in this video…”
Needless to say, I never hit send! Yes, something popped out of my shorts and there was no need for anyone to see that! Saved myself from sending unsolicited dick pics though!
RECORD STORE TALES #1019: Lil’ Buddy
Early 2006. Jen and I had been dating a few months, and I was placed at a brand new job at United Rentals in Cambridge. Things were looking up! I escaped the hell hole that was the Record Store, the office Bully had lost all her power over me, and I had met the girl that I knew I was going to stick with. Life was coming together! It was during this glowing golden time that I briefly met and fell in love with Lil’ Buddy.
We were out walking one cold Sunday in the neighbourhood when a little stray puppy with no tags strolled up to us wagging his little tail. We greeted him and looked around for his human. There was no-one around. The little guy kept following us. We didn’t know what else to do. We brought him home and gave him some water and warmth. I just fell for the little guy immediately. He was so friendly, affectionate and quiet. I named him Lil’ Buddy. We spent a few hours with him before doing what had to be done.
It was the hardest thing to do, but the only right thing to do. We bundled him up into the car and took him to the humane society. It was very emotional for me, and I asked them, please please call me if he is not claimed. He would have a loving home with us. I didn’t know how I was going to handle a dog in my little apartment but I didn’t care. I’d figure it out. The little guy had won my heart.
I waited a couple days, and then called the humane society on my lunch break. It was bittersweet to find out that Lil’ Buddy had been claimed. I was glad that he found his human, but I was really hoping he could have stayed. Apparently Lil’ Buddy belonged to an elderly woman, so she certainly needed his company more than I did. I’m sure she loved him very much. How could she not?
We only spent a few hours with him, but I’ll never forget Lil’ Buddy. We had a very special Sunday afternoon together. We could have been friends. He was very special.
RECORD STORE TALES #1018:
Surfing the October Colours (Cottage Video)
The last cottage weekend before closing was totally maxed out! And I don’t mean Max the Axe!
Life is too short. It must be lived to the fullest. When you and I first met here at mikeladano.com, I was 10 years younger. Spending four hours on a Saturday pounding words into a keyboard was nothing back then. Today I’d rather be experiencing life. So that’s what we did. From music to food to photography, we enjoyed our last weekend at the cottage before closing, to the max!
The music for the road was top notch. Ghost’s new album Impera received another spin. It’s as good as the day it was released. Then while hanging out in the “G” folder, we rocked out George Lynch’s debut solo album, Sacred Grooves. Better than any of the Lynch Mob albums. It also enabled me to teach Jen a little bit about the mighty Glenn Hughes. His struggles and triumphs. On the road home, we rocked David Lee Roth’s Eat ‘Em and Smile and Your Filthy Little Mouth. A pretty solid selection of guitar rock.
The fall colours were spectacular. Orange, yellow, deep maroon. As you are all well aware, I am not usually a “fall guy”. This year has been a little different. I have a friend in California who finds all this Canadian weather beautiful and fascinating. For her, I enjoyed documenting the weekend with video tours and personal messages. It totally made this fall weekend a different experience for me. It was like seeing the place through new eyes. And this is now going to be part of my wellness plan for winter. She wants me to continue sending her fun videos and pictures of the Canadian landscape during the snowy months. I checked my phone — do you know how many pictures of snow I had from past winters? Two. TWO. I have photos on my phone going back to 2014, and I only have two with snow in them. With her enthusiasm and encouragement, I’m going to have fun documenting the winter of 2022-2023! I’ve never had this before — a friend in a sunny climate who has requested Canadian snow videos! On the condition that I stay safe and don’t crash my car or break my neck! This gives me a whole new project to do this winter, that I never had before. I feel very positive about going into the cold, dark winter months.
I’m recovering well from my dental surgery and ate two steaks this weekend! They were awesome! As were all the fish and mushrooms I cooked up. No A5 wagyu in stock at the butcher’s shop though. That will have to wait until next year, I suppose.
We did something else different that we haven’t done in recent years. We went into town! I took some video of the big waves, a daring surfer, and some quaint streets. Something new for this video.
Please enjoy this last cottage video before we close — all to the music of Tee Bone Erickson and Max the Axe!
It certainly seems appropriate that my first album post-surgery is Lick It Up!
Tom Petty would have worked as well, since “The Waiting Is the Hardest Part”. That was certainly true. I woke up at 3 AM this morning and I was raring to go. I got a couple more hours’ sleep after that, but was up again well before 6 AM just wanting to get on with the day. Get it over with!
Extraction was scheduled for 8 AM. Dr. McCann’s office in Kitchener Waterloo — nothing but praise. Fantastic people. Wonderful nurses, terrific doctor. I said “I’m probably in the top ten chickens you’ve ever had.” No problem.
I sat down in the chair. They attached all the monitors and accoutrements. I asked if I looked cool.
The IV going in was the hardest part. They said there were a few stages to the drugs, and first they would take the edge off the anxiety. I asked the nurse to just keep talking to me. We talked about my work, she kept asking me interested questions. And that’s the last thing I remember.
I don’t even really remember waking up. I remember being light on my feet with a face stuffed full of gauze. I remember feeling confident to stand, and then to slowly walk. By the time I was in the car, I was talking slowly but back to my old self.
I’ve been sitting here chillaxing at my parents’ house today, tired but not sleepy. My dad made me a nice lunch of orzos. Tonight my mom is making home made mac n’ cheese. We watched Spiderman: No Way Home together. My dad thought the idea of three Spidermen was kind of goofy; he only likes Tobey. My mom seemed to understand most of it. I had fun.
It has been about six hours since I left the dentist and I’m still really frozen.
I have this awesome Optimus Prime set to build. I’ll save it for when I’m back in my own home. I’m a little swollen. I was hoping for more actually!
I’m doing OK.
Thanks for your support!
I really don’t give a shit what people say. “Oh it’s no big deal, I had a tooth out last week.” Well to me it’s a big deal. I’ve had teeth out before too, but never so seriously that they are advising five days of complete rest afterwards. Five days seems serious, right?
I was advised to treat myself to something nice to look forward to after the surgery, so after a lacklustre trip to Toys R Us (which apparently Rob Daniels didn’t know could be shortened to TRU!) I placed an Amazon order. And I ordered this sexy beast of a set.
It’s the first ever fully transformable Lego set, and it’s Optimus Prime himself. This toy has been getting (mostly) rave reviews so I decided this should be my get-well present to keep myself occupied. It has been about 15 years since I last purchased a Lego set. It will be fun to see how much the system has changed since I was into it.
So that was Sunday. Monday was a bit of a shit-show. Jen had three seizures, two of them in bed. I barely slept last night, but I made it through work today and now I’m off until next week. Poor girl really suffered yesterday. I worry about taking care of her during recovery. My parents will be pitching in to help since I won’t be able to do it all by myself.
I’ve been lucky to have plenty of support from friends. They know who they are!
Tomorrow’s the day. I’m scheduled for 8 AM. If I can, I will update you as soon as possible. I would like to record funny videos of swollen cheeks and muffled speech but I guess we shall see what I’m in for.
Wish me luck!
RECORD STORE TALES #1015: Vis-a-Vis-a-Vous
As a kid, I had heard of Coney Hatch but never particularly paid attention. MuchMusic rarely included their tunes on the Pepsi Power Hour for unknown reasons. I probably heard “Hey Operator” but nothing else by the band. Timing was not in their favour with me. I wasn’t even into heavy rock yet when their first two albums came out. No wonder they passed me by. By the time I dove head-first into rock music on December 26 1984, I had already missed most of their career. Ironically though, Coney Hatch did have a song on the metal album that I heard that day, which was Masters of Metal II and “Hey Operator”.
Fast forward to summer 1990, and a hot “new” singer was making waves on MuchMusic. I didn’t really know who this Andy Curran guy was, but my best friend Bob loved his song “No Tattoos”. Bob was pretty anti-tattoo and felt that the coolest way was to have clean skin. He really identified with Andy’s lyrics. “No tattoos, gotta stay cool, my mama never raised no fool.”
Personally speaking I loved Motley Crue and their tattoo sleeves. I didn’t identify with “No Tattoos” the way Bob did. “I didn’t listen…I was scarred for life. And I couldn’t just stop at one!” That whole “scarred for life” line was one Bob really liked. It was a good song and I liked it, but it didn’t resonate with me like it did with Bob. So again, this Andy Curran guy slipped out of my mind when the single was over.
Suddenly, the Hatch had a new live album up for pre-order. Their first release in ages and ages. I decided it was time to finally take the plunge with Coney Hatch, and I’m glad I did. Live at the El Mocambo is one of my favourite live albums now! And I got in on the ground floor with it, limited signed copy: 19 of 300.
And then we landed an interview with Andy Curran! At this point I had to cram so I bought all the Rock Candy reissues of the Coney Hatch albums, and the self-titled Andy Curran. The “No Tattoos” record, as he calls it. Interview prep is serious business, and I did the best I could in the given amount of time. But I didn’t want to fake it. When I found myself vis-a-vis with Andy Curran, I fessed up. I was new. I was a Coney Hatch rookie who had done his best crash course in a band that I was growing to love.
And Andy was so cool about it. In fact he came back two more times to complete our chat and answer every question we had.
Better late than never — check out Andy and some Coney hatch today.
My Top Ten Coney Hatch tunes:
1. She’s Gone
2. Marseilles (cover)
3. First Time for Everything
4. Blown Away
5. Stand Up
6. Don’t Say Make Me
7. Hey Operator
8. Monkey Bars
9. We Got the Night
10. No Sleep Tonight