Movies

Part 121: Movies

RECORD STORE TALES PART 121:  MOVIES

 As a movie buff I was glad when one of our stores decided to carry VHS tapes!  My movie collection grew massively at the time.  I had access to lots of cool items, in widescreen format.  I bought virtually everything that we saw come in, if it was in widescreen format.  The staff, T-Rev in particular, knew to keep an eye out for widescreen movies for me.  This opened up a whole new retail world for us, for now we had customers that were not interested in music at all, just movies.  Of course movie knowledge now came into play, especially when customers would ask a question like, “Do you have that John Wayne movie where he’s after the outlaw guys?”

In 1998 or 1999, I bought my first DVD player.  We started carrying DVDs at that time as well.  That was exciting too.   A lot of people had been asking about them.

When they were still big, you could expect to pay $8.99 to $11.99 for a used VHS tape.  $5.99 if it was a cheapie bin special.  For DVDs, you might expect to pay $16.99 to $19.99 for a used one.  That was in the beginning, prices dropped quickly and within five years, DVDs were almost as cheap as CDs!  We even had laserdiscs, on the rare occasion that they came in.  They were giant.  If you don’t remember what I’m talking about, here’s a size comparison to a CD.

We learned right away though that handling DVDs was not the same as handling CDs!  Maybe the plastic they were made of was softer, because they scratched so much more easily than a CD, and the scratches were so much harder to remove.  This trouble was doubled with the 2-sided DVD discs.

Fixing a scratched double sided DVD was very, very difficult.  You could spend 5 minutes buffing the scratches out of one side, only to find that handling the disc put more scratches in the other side.  They were very tricky, and a lot of the DVD discs that we sold in the early days looked terrible, for that reason.  They would work fine on most players (most), but looked cloudy and streaky.  And a lot of our DVD customers were really, really picky.

Eventually the 2-sided discs became a lot less common.  In the meantime, we had to set up display spaces for DVDs, figured out how to store the discs themselves behind the counter without damaging them, and so on.  Even slight handling or dust could create problems.  Dusting the DVDs could often make them look worse, as the wiping left slight but visible scratches.

At first the selection was pretty poor.  Sony were giving away a number of titles for free with their players, so we had a lot of copies of Sphere, and The Negotiator.  Trade-ins started after a few months.  We started seeing box sets, before they were really common, Criterion Editions, all kinds of stuff.  It happened quick, our stock grew and grew….

…And so did my own personal collection!  Ain’t it the way?

Continued in Part 284:  The Impact of Movies

MOVIE REVIEW: FUBAR (2002)

FUBAR (2002, directed by Michael Dowse)

Ferrell Mitchner, an amature filmaker, wants to look at two locals who live the party life, fast and hard. Terry and Deaner are two “bangers” living in Calgary Alberta.  They shotgun their beers, vandalize stuff, and avoid getting a real job, and to them that’s just fine.  They live a worry and care-free lifestyle with a killer soundtrack behind them:  AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Thor, and original metal music too.

All’s not well in partyland though:  Terry and Dean’s best friend, Tron (Troy) isn’t hanging out with them anymore.  Things seem pretty dull in Calgary until Terry blabs to Ferrell that Dean’s got cancer.

And it’s bad cancer, too.  Testicular cancer.  While Dean acts like it’s a joke, his on-and-off girlfriend Trixie convinces him to get treatment.  For the sake of their daughter Chastity, Dean decides to go.  But not before one last massive blow-out party weekend.  Camping.  And Ferrell’s going to film the whole thing.

While the cancer aspect doesn’t sound funny, it does lend itself to many lines about Dean’s “giant nut”.  It’s the dense but lovable Terry and Dean who make this comedy work. Eternally quotable, Fubar is equal to or better than Trailer Park Boys’ dialogue.

Even though he cast some nasty fuckin’ evil shit on people, Merlin went to Heaven. That stuff’s real. Merlin was in King Henry’s court.

I liked this one, too.

Some of the best burgers I’ve ever had came from bowling alleys. Bowling alleys have some of the best cooks. Just because they work at a bowling alley, doesn’t mean they’re not gonna put some pride in their fuckin’ burgers.

The fact is, anybody who grew up in the 80’s knew somebody just like Terry and Dean. Dumb, but lovable and loyal, finding amusement in the simplest activities like farts, jumping fences and play fighting.  Terry and Dean are not unlike that guy down the street who wore his jean jacket even on the hottest summer days. Along the way, they encouter real Albertans like themselves, (like, actually real, as in these people didn’t know it was for a fictional movie) .   Guys who drink hard and party hard all weekend, waking at the crack of noon to do it all over again. While some would like to live in denial that such people exist, they’re out there, and they don’t give a shit what you think.

A big part of why this movie works is Paul Spence and David Lawrence.  Somehow they manage to give the characters of Dean and Terry just enough pathos, while keeping them genuine.

This is a truely awesome Canadian cult classic. It is a comedy with a real heart beating inside. Most importantly, it is only the beginning. Hopefully, you’ll want to see what adventures Terry and Deaner are up to when they move to Fort McMurray in Fubar II!

Bonus features are extremely high quality, with deleted scenes that should have made the final cut, and some hilarious commentary tracks.  I’m always a big fan of character commentaries.  The character commentary in this movie is hilarious.  Just as a sad scene is about to take place, commentary Deaner says:

I know I’m supposed to be sad because of what’s gonna happen…but this song’s so good, I can’t be sad.  (“Run To The Hills”)

Note:  You gain absolutely nothing by owning this on blu-ray vs. DVD.  The movie is supposed to look like they shot it with no money (which they basically did), and blu-ray actually looked worse in my opinion.

5/5 stars, just give’r.

Dean Murdoch Paul Spence
Terry Cahill David Lawrence
Farrel Mitchner Gordon Skilling

 

MOVIE REVIEW: Air Guitar Nation

“To err is human, to air guitar divine” – Bjorn Turoque

Air Guitar Nation (Shadow Distribution, 2007)

Directed by Alexandra Lipsitz

I saw this on the shelves of my local video store, and pondered it for about 3 minutes before deciding to take the plunge. I did have my doubts. After all, as an aspiring guitar player, what fun would it be watching people pretend to play guitar? I mean, I’m bored to tears with Rock Band and Guitar Hero.

After a mere few minutes, I was enthralled with this documentary. This is just a story about some regular guys (and girls too) who simply love guitar so much that they have created an art out of “air guitar” — flailing your arms erratically, throwing shapes, and pretending to rock. Sounds stupid I know, but I can’t think of a better word than “art” to describe what they do. It is a new artform. If you’re a rocker, don’t lie to me — I know you’ve played air guitar in your bedroom before. I spent my teens doing that very thing. These guys have taken it to a whole new level, with costumes and personas.

“C-Diddy” and “Bjorn Turoque” are our prime protangonists here, although I immediately sided with the amicable Diddy, known to his parents as David Jung. They both have very different styles. Diddy favours the intricate fretwork of Extreme’s “Play With Me” while Bjorn is more a rhythm player, employing the high energy of Motorhead.  Each of them hopes to be the very first American air guitar world champion. They battle through the semi-finals before heading to Finland for the big finish.

Along the way you will meet other air guitar players, each a champion in his or her own right. My favourites included “The Red Plectrum”, so named due to his flaming hair. There was also a Christian rocker whose gimmick was that he played air guitar to Stryper in a wheelchair. Then, partway through his song, he is miraculously given the ability to walk, as he rises from his chair! Hallelujah!

This is just a sweet movie, with a killer soundtrack, and some very unique and fun personalities to boot. They take air guitar very, very seriously, and so will you after seeing this film. There are plenty of deleted scenes and extras on the DVD to keep you going once the party’s over.

5/5  stars.

MOVIE REVIEW: KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (aka: KISS in Attack of the Phantoms)

You know what I forgot to review? KISS Meets the Phantom! So, belatedly: Part 29 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

“I will destroy you!  All of you!  You, Kiss, will be my instrument!”

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (NBC, 1978)

Context:  In 1978 Kiss were arguably the biggest band in the world.  Like the Beatles before them, they sought to conquer movies as they prepared to do their solo albums.  They did it…much less successfully than the Beatles.

I’ll try not to shoot ducks in a barrel here.  This made for TV movie is now available in its superior international version on the KISStory II DVD set.  It’s marginally better than the version we’ve had to endure here.  It had more Kiss music (17 songs) and a different cut to the film.

However if you want campiness at its 1970’s worst, watch the regular version.  Bad acting, no budget, bad dubbing (even Peter Criss was dubbed, by Michael Bell!), hell the special effects from the 1967 season of Star Trek are vastly, incalculably superior.  The familiar North American version excises much of Kiss’ original music and replaces it with disco funk!  Chicka-chicka-chicka guitars and hilarious horns.  Oh, and on top of it, Ace has hardly any lines beyond “Ack”!

Phantom stars classic Bond villain Anthony Zerbe as the insane Abner Devereaux, the mastermind behind the amusement park’s “amazing” robots!  (Incidentally that’s two actors who later appeared in Star Trek:  Bell and Zerbe.)  And of course Gene, Paul, Ace and Peter headline as well, even though they don’t even appear in the movie for what seems like an hour.

Plot?  Fuck it.  Who cares.  Madman in theme park is insanely jealous of Kiss.  Kiss have super powers.  Madman sends robots after them.  The end.

The movie is notable on the positive side for some exclusive music:  An acoustic version of “Beth”, and something called “Rip and Destroy” which was “Hotter Than Hell” with new (evil) lyrics.  I don’t know who plays the guitar on “Beth”, but it’s not someone from Kiss.  Paul mimes it in the video.  “Rip And Destroy” basically consists of one verse and one chorus repeated ad nauseum.  Having said that, fans have been begging for years for an official release of these songs.  Maybe on a future box set?  That would be cool.

For the film, 1/5 stars.

REVIEW: KISS – “God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II” single (1991)

Part 28 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster! 

KISS – “God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II” (1991 CD single)

As part of their “Hey, let’s try anything!” modus operadi, Kiss decided to record a single with old producer Bob Ezrin.  It was all a part of their greater scheme to drop the pop and get back to their rock roots.  Working with Ezrin, who produced both their greatest commerial success (Destroyer) and failure (The Elder), was a tentative step to see what the chemistry would be like this time.  The single was the perfect chance to test drive the partnership.

Released in conjunction with the movie Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, this new Kiss single was also a first in that Kiss were contributing a brand new song to a movie soundtrack.  This version is actually a different mix than that later on Revenge, so this single still is an exclusive of sorts.

“God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II” (my God what a cumbersome title) is a reworking of an old Argent tune, hence the II.  At the time I didn’t think much of it, and I still don’t.  It’s not a personal favourite of mine.  It’s a little slow, although very anthemic and perfect for the live setting.  It does feature Gene and Paul singing lead together, a rare thing indeed and a first since…when?  A long time anyway.  It also has some sweet harmony vocals from Eric Carr…his last recording with Kiss before succumbing to cancer way too young at age 41.  While he underwent treatment, Eric Singer played drums on the song.  This was all kept secret in 1991 before Carr died; in hindsight you can tell it’s Singer on drums.  Carr even gave it his all, playing drums in the music video.

The other two tracks were also exclusive to the movie soundtrack:  “Junior’s Gone Wild” by King’s X, and “Shout it Out” by Slaughter.  Both bands were experiencing increased success and fans were eager for new music.  “Junior’s Gone Wild” sounds like something not too far removed from King’s X in-the-making fourth album.  “Shout it Out” is a typical Slaughter party rocker, as good as anything on their debut.  A bit shrill and and sweet by today’s standards though.

2.5/5 stars

DVD REVIEW: KISS – Exposed (1987)

Part 24 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster! 

KISS – Exposed (VHS 1987, DVD 2002)

While Kiss took some time off as Gene continued to pursue his movie career, Exposed was released in lieu of a studio album.  1986 was the first year to ever come and go without new Kiss music.  The band sought commercial success, and an outside producer as they worked hard to record hits.  This video nicely documented their career to that point.

A lot of long term KISS fans absolutely hate Exposed. It is not without flaws, but considering when it came out and what it aimed to do, it is actually one of the best home videos from the era.

Exposed is an early example of a mockumentary, or, as they say in the opening, “A rousing docu-drama. It will be disgusting to some, titilating to others.  But whether it disgusts you, or titilates you, it is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” That right there tells you everything you need to know. Interspersed with the docu-drama bits are video clips, and live clips of the band during the makeup years.

The biggest flaw with Exposed is that it’s pretty sexist. It’s all meant to be in good fun I guess, but many will be offended by Gene using women as wall decorations. It was the 80’s; every band influenced by Kiss was doing the same thing, and Kiss responded by taking it to the limit. It is what it is, and if you’re likely to be offended, don’t watch.  It’s still nothing compared to some rap videos I’ve seen.

The second biggest flaw is the lack of Eric Carr and Bruce Kulick participation. They each get two scenes: In Eric’s scene, he meets the interviewer and leaves without any audible lines. In Bruce’s scene, he chases a girl down the stairs and has the line, “Is this for the documentary? Edit her out!” In the final scene, Bruce and Eric are seen taking Paul’s monkey Sonny Crocket for a stroll. Everything else is the Gene and Paul Show.

The docu-drama takes place at “Paul’s mansion”, and this is where the jokes begin.  It’s kind of an 80’s Monkees, with the band all living together in the same house.  There’s a butler and women everywhere.  Gene of course has a throne.

Paul and Gene are funny in Exposed. The interview segments are 50% “straight”, talking seriously about the early years of Kiss, and 50% comedy segments. I enjoyed the comedy. Gene in partiular is a very funny guy. In the “straight” segments there is a comraderie rarely seen between Gene and Paul, such as Paul razzing Gene about early song lyrics he had written. (“My mother is beauuuuutiful…,” Paul croons to an old Gene lyric.)

The music videos include some rarities such as the banned “Who Wants To Be Lonely” clip (more girls). Basically you get every music video from 1982 through to 1985., with a couple exceptions.

The live stuff proved to be just a taster for what Kiss had in their vaults. At the time, bands didn’t release a lot of archive concerts on home video, instead concentrating on documenting current tours. Now they do release such archival concerts on DVD, and since then Kiss have released more complete footage on Kissology I-III. The film quality, despite complaints from the fans, is pretty decent, especially the old 1974 clip of Deuce. Some fans claim their bootleg home videos look and sound better than the official KISS releases; I haven’t seen that.

The video ends with a brief audio clip of Paul answering the question, “What do we call this?” He responds, “Why don’t we call it Volume I?”

Volume II would come later in the form of Kiss’ X-treme Close Up, a more “serious” video, stripped of the girls and the jokiness. I find Exposed to be a much more entertaining video.

Check it out if you are a fan, particularly for 80’s Kiss. Avoid if you are not.

4/5 stars

Incidentally, you can get Kiss Exposed as a third bonus disc in a deluxe edition of Kiss Gold.  Seen below, the regular edition of Kiss Gold.  We’ll be talking about that CD much later on.

REVIEW: KISS – Asylum (1985)

Part 23 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

KISS – Asylum (1985)

My bias with this album is simple:  Asylum was the “new” Kiss album when I first started listening to the band.  “Tears Are Falling” was getting a lot of airplay, and it was the latest thing.  I still think, on a whole, it is superior to Animalize.  The reason for this is all around stronger songs, with Bruce Kulick contributing heavily.  Recall that when we last checked in with Kiss, Bruce Kulick was temping, filling in for the ailing Mark St. John.   He was their fourth guitar player in as many albums.

By the time to record a new album, Bruce was a full member of Kiss.  Gene was still off in la-la land trying to become a movie star, as he was cast as a transvestite in the John Stamos vehicle, Never Too Young To Die.


The good news is, Paul was steering the ship as best he could, considering he was effectively working without his partner in Kiss.  Paul contributed some decent material with a bevy of cowriters including Kulick.

  • King Of The Mountain (awesome)
  • Tears Are Falling (awesome)
  • Who Wants To Be Lonely (great)
  • Radar For Love (decent)
  • Uh! All Night (decent)

Gene’s good songs include:

  • Trial By Fire (good)
  • Secretly Cruel (great)

That only leaves three duds by my counting: Gene’s and Paul’s first co-write in years,  “Love’s A Deadly Weapon”, Gene’s “Any Way You Slice It”, and Paul’s “I’m Alive”. “I’m Alive” is almost a carbon copy of other fast Paul songs such as “Gimme More”.

The cover art is bland, but it does have links to Kiss’ past such their traditional “aura” colours (purple for Paul, red for Gene, blue for the guitar play, and green for the drummer). Production is a little glossy on the drums (samples?), but there are no keyboards, or anything like what would happen later on Crazy Nights. It’s a little more pop than Animalize, but I think it’s just a better album. Just better songs.

3/5 stars

DVD REVIEW: KISS – Animalize Live Uncensored (1985)

Part 22 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!  I’m generally not going to be covering DVDs, but this one was crucial to me.  I heard a lot of these versions so often, that they were the “original” versions for me.  So I have a soft spot for Animalize Live Uncensored.

KISS – Animalize Live Uncensored (VHS, 1985)

 This video was recorded live at Cobo Hall, Detroit Michigan December 8th, 1984. It has never been released officially on DVD, although as you can see there are unofficial versions to be had.  (It’s clearly unofficial since it has a picture of Carnival of Souls era Kiss on the back!)  Annoying subtitles are the only real drawback to the DVD.

There’s not much crossover between this and the two Alive albums, as it leans heavily on newer material (Creatures, Lick It Up, Animalize).  The tempos are, in general, faster. The energy is high, and Paul is singing at the peak of his talents.  The solos by Bruce Kulick are flashy in that 80’s sort of way, which isn’t my thing. Basically this is 80’s KISS, like it or lump it. I like it somewhat, probably due to nostalgia. 

Visually, Gene and Paul are all over the stage, while Eric stands on his drums and demands to be seen and heard.  At the end, the band climb onto a flying platform. Very cool live show.

One special treat was Eric’s lead vocals on “Young and Wasted” and “Black Diamond”. I also quite enjoyed Eric’s drum solo. Gene’s bass solo is nothing much to speak of, just a chance for him to introduce “I Love It Loud”, but far more musical than solos past or present. Actually he only speaks twice on the whole DVD. Before “I Love It Loud” he says to the crowd, “Oh yeah? Ohhh yeeeah? Well alright, come on.” And then at another point Paul says, “How you doing Gene, alright?” to which Gene responds, “Welll ooooooohhhh yeeeeaaaah!” Quite comical really. Paul’s raps are some of his all time classics. “Paul, what you are doing with a pistol down your pants?” (“Love Gun”)  His story about Gene’s “little child” (“Fits Like A Glove”) is also classic. His guitar solo is nothing special, I guess Bruce Kulick was just too new to the band to warrant a big solo? The fact that Paul has one is somewhat a rarity in KISStory.

The video quality of the DVD is fairly low. Don’t quote me on this, but I think I heard that this concert is going to be reissued on the next installment of the KISStory DVDs. 

3/5 stars

There are several CD bootlegs (incomplete however) of this concert.  The only live audio from this concert to be officially released was “Heaven’s On Fire”.  Kiss contributed that track to Ronnie James Dio’s Hear N’ Aid LP (also being reissued!) which donated proceeds to feed people in Africa.

REVIEW: KISS – Animalize (1984)

Part 21 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!  Still flushing out the last of the lo-fi cell phone pics, sorry about that.

ANIMALIZE

KISS – Animalize (1984)

Exit Vinnie Vincent.  Enter Mark St. John aka Mark Norton, a music teacher that came highly recommended, but had no touring experience.  Looking for the next young hot shot to compete with Eddie Van Halen and Yngwie, Kiss took a chance.

In addition to yet another lineup change and third lead guitar player, there were other fractures setting in.  Gene Simmons was dead set to become a movie star, and played the villain role alongside Tom Selleck in a movie called Runaway, written and directed by Michael Crichton.  Paul Stanley was left to produce the next album.

Paul and Gene recorded in separate studios, shuffling Mark St. John between them when needed.  Gene didn’t play bass on several of Paul’s songs, and studio musicians were brought in to add guitar solos, drum overdubs, and backing vocals.  All songs but one were co-written by outside writers.

Animalize is one of those albums that was hugely popular (2 x platinum I think?). It has a couple hot singles, a couple decent album cuts, but disappointly Animalize is mostly filler. Gene’s material is particularly forgettable and uninspired. It’s like you’re listening to half a band.
Mathematically, here’s how it breaks down:

1. I’ve Had Enough (Into The Fire) – good song
2. Heaven’s On Fire – good song (but overplayed)
3. Burn Bitch Burn – bad
4. Get All You Can Take – great song
5. Lonely Is The Hunter – bad
6. Under The Gun – bad
7. Thrills In The Night – great
8. While The City Sleeps – terrible
9. Murder In High Heels – terrible

4 out of 9 good songs, and not one of them by Gene Simmons. All of Gene’s stuff on Animalize sucked, leaving the kids of the 80’s to think that he was a sideman and Paul was the main guy. Gene also has the worst lyric in Kisstory here: “I wanna put my log in your fireplace.”

However, a highlight of the album are some of the solos.  A fast neoclassical/jazz player, St. John was miles away from Kiss’ roots. It was the era of the fast classically trained player. Even so, when the band thought that Mark wasn’t nailing the feel, they asked Bruce Kulick to fill in on two songs.  He appears on “Lonely Is The Hunter” and “Murder In High Heels”.  So, technically Animalize was Bruce’s first Kiss album, although nobody knew at the time that Kulick was destined to replace St. John, who was struck with a freak arthritic condition that left him unable to tour.

Kulick wouldn’t be granted full member status until the next album, while the band felt him out.  Later, St. John too went on to make some great solo work — check out his Magic Bullet Theory CD.

Animalize is far from outstanding. I would rank it among Kiss’ three worst albums, the other two being Hot In The Shade and Psycho-Circus. It’s historically important because of how popular the tour and album were. Most of the good songs, however, can be found elsewhere such as the Kiss box set.

2/5 stars.

Mark St. John passed away in 2007.  Rest in peace.

Part 74.5: The Best Part of Sausagefest (Clockwork Autographs)

Meat gave this to me.

“You’re the collector, not me,” he said.

That’s really not a good excuse to give away an autographed Rush disc, man.  But, as Burgess Meredith said so wisely in Clash of the Titans, “A divine gift should never be questioned, simply accepted.”  And are Rush not gods of rock?

Thank you Meat Man.