Sunday Chuckle

Sunday Chuckle: Jeopardy!

Just something cute for this week.  If you’re a fan of Jeopardy, perhaps you remember this one from the April 30 episode.  I was so excited I had to take a picture of the screen.

Regular readers at mikeladano.com know the question.  What is American Dad?

In Getting More Tale #606, we discussed five reasons why Roger the Alien is the greatest character on television today.  “Roger the Alien is responsible for many historical events that you didn’t know about,” I wrote.   “He helped the US hockey team win the gold in the 1980 ‘Miracle on Ice’. He did this on steroids as his hockey player persona, Chex LeMeneux.”

Great to see good ol’ Chex as a question on Jeopardy!

Sunday Chuckle: Dem Shoes!

I took a little bit of online flak for this picture, but I think it’s funny.  This was a McDonalds in Cambridge Ontario.  The combination of the track pants, the lazy half-assed wearing of the shoes, and the golden arches struck my funnybone.

It’s OK if you don’t think this is funny.  I’m cool with that.  But don’t be a dick about it.  I wouldn’t take a picture of a homeless person, or a disabled person, but lazy people seem like fair game to me.

I mean, just look at dem shoes.

Sunday Chuckle: Husband of the Year Award!

Sigh.

There’s always a story behind these things.  A few weeks ago, they had to do some work on the pipes in our condo.  The water in the whole building was shut off at 9 am.  I forgot to tell Jen about it.

I was reminded when I spoke to her on the phone, and she mentioned the toilet wouldn’t flush and the bathroom was stinky.

And that’s why, at work, I was awarded the Husband of the Year Award with a picture of a toilet on it.

 

Sunday Chuckle: Keurig Katastrophe

I poached this one from the social media of world famous bass clarinetist Kathryn Ladano.  She blamed this mess on her Concerto for Bass Clarinet and Industrial Orchestra.  [That show was April 14 cancelled due to an ice storm.]

This just proves even world class musicians are human beings…who need coffee to function!

 

Sunday Chuckle: Not Kiss!

A good buddy of mine has three kids.  He will often play them music via Youtube, and they have been enjoying classic Kiss lately.  In fact about a year ago, I myself was trying to teach them the correct words to “Shout it Out Loud”, for which they were singing their own variation.

My buddy tells me that the other day, Youtube shuffled to the “Lick It Up” video and he pointed out, “Look kids, Kiss.”  His infant daughter looked up, saw four guys with no makeup on, and yelled, “NOT KISS!”

Smart kid.  Just a child and already knows “new” Kiss from “old” Kiss.

PRESS RELEASE: Canadian supergroup SNOWSHOE call it a day

They said it was too good to last and they were right!  A mere year after announcing their formation, SNOWSHOE are announcing their dissolution.

Personality conflicts erupted on 2017’s Eternal Winter tour, and rifts could not be mended.

“The problem,” says singer/guitarist BILLY SOL HUROK, “is that IRVING COHEN is impossible to tour with.  He eats the most foul shit, and then farts unrepentantly all over the tour bus.  He doesn’t even care.  He thinks it’s funny.  JOHN (Y. SCHMENGE, drums) and I said ‘enough is enough’.  We can no longer work with Irv,” said Hurok.

“It’s not like we didn’t try,” continues the guitarist.  “When you’re on a bus driving from Puvirnituq, Quebec all the way to Thunder Bay and some guy is dropping toxic shitclouds everywhere, something’s gonna give.

“We stopped at some shitty convenience store in the middle of nowhere Ontario to buy the guy some fuckin’ Beano.  At first he refused to take it.  He actually said to my face, and I quote, ‘You’re just trying to take away my super power.’  Yes he referred to his farts as his ‘super power’.  Eventually John got him in a headlock and we made him take the whole fuckin’ bottle of Beano.  And it did nothing!

“Touring is hard,” concludes Billy Sol.  “You’re living on top of each other in a bus, usually with broken heat or broken A/C depending on the season.  Then some jackass decides to unload his colon in your bunk.  By the time we hit Thunder Bay I knew this band wasn’t gonna survive.  Amazingly, we finished the tour.  All eight gigs.  We came to blows in Thunder Bay.  We were at soundcheck at the venue, Deke’s Palace.  Well the fuckin’ owner of the place, Deke Williams, comes out of his office and says, ‘Who the fuck just farted in here?’  He said he wasn’t gonna pay us if Irv didn’t cut it out and that’s when I threw the first punch.  Irv folded like a napkin.  Then the opening band INUKSHUK jumped in just because they’re crazy.  The cops had to come out to that one.”

Though the trio recorded an album Eternal Winter, it has been shelved indefinitely with no plans for release.

“I have no desire to revisit that record,” says Billy.  “I wouldn’t be surprised if the farts soaked into the tape and dissolved it completely, and I don’t care.”

What is next for the three musicians?

“Well Irv can go fuck himself, that’s #1,” Billy chuckled.  “Me and John might get into house painting next.  He had a good business going up there in Churchill Manitoba and we’re looking into that.  Fuck touring!”

 

Sunday Chucke: Honky Tonk?

One of the guys at work is Italian.  He’s originally from Amalfi, where I traced my own family from.  As you’d expect, he has an amazing accent.

We were talking about old video games, and he said, “Oh, my grandkids have one that they love, have you heard of it?  Honky Tonk, they call it.”

Honky Tonk?

It took only a second to know he was talking about Donkey Kong!

Hey, it’s great to know that the kids are still playing the classics. That makes me smile.

 

 

Sunday Chuckle: The Public Shaming of Mrs. LeBrain

I took Friday March 16 off work to take Jen to her neurologist appointment in Toronto.  We left Kitchener at 9 am and arrived shortly after 10.  The receptionist told Jen that her appointment was for April 16, not March….

Feeling oh so terrible about it, she said to me, “I’m so sorry, you can watch all the Star Wars you want this weekend, I won’t even watch the Leafs vs. the Habs if that’s what you want.”

I said that isn’t what I wanted.  I just wanted to post this story as the next Sunday Chuckle!

 

Sunday Chuckle: Frank Cannon

“You kinda remind me of Frank Cannon,” said the guy at work.

“Frank who?” I responded, and then googled the name. Frank Cannon was a Private Eye from a popular TV series, played by William Conrad.  I don’t think I look like Frank Cannon, but I think he was saying my girth reminded him of William Conrad’s.

Another guy at work did a photographic amalgamation.  Frank “LeBrain” Cannon can be seen below!

 

Sunday Chuckle: A Call from “Visa Mastercard”

Big thanks to Craig Fee over at 107.5 DaveRocks for this one!

During Craig’s live “Tedious Tiresome Trivia” segment on the Tuesday afternoon show (on which he takes live phone calls), he received a call from Ray at “Visa Mastercard”.  The entire thing went out on the air, live, just as you hear it below.  There’s nothing Craig loves more than messing with a solicitor calling into his show. Needless to say, things go wonky very quickly.

What I learned from “Visa Mastercard” on this call is that, apparently, your credit card number is not personal information.  It’s right there on the face of the card, so that makes it public…apparently.  “Anyone can see that or memorise that,” according to the “Visa Mastercard” rep (“not a third party!”) that unwittingly called a radio station.

Please enjoy!