Sunday Chuckle

Sunday Chuckle: Rime of the Ancient Mariner

“This is a song about what not to do when a bird shits on ya!” — Bruce Dickinson

 

Last weekend, a bird shit on me.  It would have got me right on the head, except I happened to have my hands over my head at that exact moment.  I felt something wet on my fingers.  I looked and saw something gross!  I ran inside to wash.

I ran into the cottage warning, “A bird shit on me, clear a path!”

My dad’s response?

“How do you know?”

Gee dad, I dunno, how about the bird shit on the fucking fingers?!

 

Sunday Chuckle: “Sesame Street” by Joy in Blue

In Record Store Tales #733, I revealed the name I wished to use if I ever got good enough to have a band:  Joy in Blue.  This week, I discovered lost recordings of the very first incarnation of the band.  At least that is how I billed it on the cassette that I found.

There were three of us in my parents’ basement that day in ’92.  Tim Solie on ukulele.  A guy named Aaron (but not this Aaron or that Aaron) on electric guitar.  Me on acoustic guitar and lead vocals.  My biggest influences on this song are James Hetfield and Mike Patton, and I think you can hear that.

Please enjoy:

“(Can You Tell Me How to Get To) Sesame Street” (take two)
Written by Joe Raposo and performed by Mike, Tim & Aaron.

I was going to save it for my box set, but I’ll let you hear it for free.

 

Sunday Chuckle: Lord Stanley’s Blues

It’s an obscure but not unknown fact:  I kind of like the Boston Bruins.  I don’t do it just to be a contrarian; I genuinely like Zdeno Chara and enjoy the team.  I especially liked them when Rene Rancourt used to sing the national anthem.  When the Toronto Maple Leafs aren’t playing, I’m “allowed” to cheer for whoever I want.  Obviously I was cheering for the Bruins to win the Stanley Cup.

The day after the Bruins lost to the St. Louis Blues, I found the paper below taped to mt computer screen at work.  Please note the misspelling of the word “your”.  Pointing this out to the gloating perpetrator, I sort of turned my loss into a small victory!

Sunday Chuckle: Meat’s New Tent

On Monday I bought a new car.  I look forward to taking it up to Sausagefest in a few weeks.  Uncle Meat will not be allowed to sleep in my car.

Look what shit-disturber Tom Morwood wrote!

Sunday Chuckle: Cockcakes

What the hell, Facebook!?  See the picture below?  This is a dessert shop in Guelph that Facebook recommended to me.

I have to give them for authentic looking cock cakes.  I like the added touch of the frosting on the one, and I like the inclusiveness of the different colours.

But why, Facebook why?

Sunday Chuckle: Contain Yourself!

I catch a little bit of flak at work due to the size of my tupperware containers.  OK, they are large, I admit it!  When it comes to tupperware, for me it’s the bigger the better.  I don’t need a bowl or a plate.  I can eat my food right out of it.  They tease me about it because I don’t eat much for lunch and the container is so much larger than any of the food inside.

On Thursday, I found a printout on my printer.  Somebody specifically took this picture, added the dimensions, and then went to the trouble of printing it directly and anonymously to my printer!

All in good fun of course!  I eventually tracked down the culprit.  I found this prank hilarious — I hope you do too!

 

Sunday Chuckle: I am a genius-level artist!

I like to sketch drawings of my co-workers in various situations. Garrett, Leo and Jen are my usual subject matter.Leo’s the fellow who once made helicopter sounds while proclaiming”I’m a propeller”. Therefore I drew a picture of him in flight with a giant propeller on his head.

This week, I drew the masterpiece below.  Garrett and Jen were on opposing sides in lunchtime euchre.  Therefore I took their rivalry to the next level.  I hope you enjoy!

Sunday Chuckle: Legal Tender

I like to hide pictures and so on in the back of filing cabinets.  I was cleaning out mine at work, and saw this one from years and years ago.  That’s why I do it!  For those little surprises down the road.