trailer park boys

MOVIE REVIEW: Hobo With a Shotgun (2011)

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (2011 Alliance)

Directed by Jason Eisener

If you liked Grindhouse (you know, Planet Terror + Death Proof and assorted trailers) or Machete, then this Canadian-born movie, Hobo With A Shotgun, should also be on your radar.  The original Hobo With a Shotgun trailer, pre-Rutger Hauer’s involvement, originally screened with Grindhouse in Canada.

If you happen to notice a few of your friends from the Trailer Park Boys (Ricky AKA Robb Wells, as well as Sam Tarasco and others) that’s because it was filmed in Nova Scotia. And if you’re wondering why co-star Molly Dunsworth looks so familiar, there’s a good reason. She is the daughter of John Dunsworth (Jim Lahey) and sister of Sarah E. Dunsworth (Sarah). There’s lots of Trailer Park lineage in this movie.

However, that is where the comparisons end. When the Hobo (with no name!) shows up in Hope Town (renamed Scum Town) he immediately notices something amiss: Gangs and prostitutes running wild. Then he bears witness to Logan’s (Robb Wells) brutal death by the hands of his own brother and nephews (by decapitation no less) and realizes that this town truly is scum town.

What follows is a bloody cartoon-violent spectacle that really has no socially redeeming value, other than evil is evil and must be punished. The town is run by The Drake and his two nephews, Slick and Ivan, who make rape and murder a part of daily life. Torching a school bus full of kids just to keep the town in line is nothing to these guys. Although a certain hobo might have something to say about it….

This hobo doesn’t want to be a part of the violence. All he wants is $50 to buy a lawnmower and start his own business. After earning the $50 (in a exploitive Bum Fights style video) he has a change of heart, thanks to prostitute Abby (Dunsworth). A shotgun is also $50, and he’s just the right man to clean up this town.

You will see intestines, blood, gore, and plenty of sharp objects. This hobo takes no prisoners — but neither do his foes! Can the hobo clean up this town? He will be up against his match when The Plague (a mysterious supernatural armored duo) show up to do him in….

Not a particularly good film, but one that will find an audience with those who know how to appreciate it.  The acting in Hobo With A Shotgun is amateur and over the top, but Rutger Hauer keeps it grizzled and serious, turning in ironically one of his better performances.  If there ever was a grizzled action star ready for a comeback, it was actually Rutger Hauer all along.

Hobo With A Shotgun on DVD is loaded (pun intended) with extras including two audio commentaries and an alternate ending that might be superior to the real one. You also get the original trailer (with Mike Jackson also of Trailer Park Boys) that started it all.  A pretty easy purchase to complete your Grindhouse collection.

 

3/5 stars

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WTF Search Terms: дип перпл edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XLV: дип перпл edition

 

  • купить бутлеги дип перпл на сд 

It’s so rare that you see anything other than the English alphabet in search terms.  This one translates as “buy bootlegs deep purple on cd” but sadly none of my music is for sale.  I’m just blown away that Googling it led to my site.  As for the below….

  • home urinals?

I’m not surprised that Googling this leads to me.  At all.

  • what color eyes does joey tempest have
  • long big hair band joey tempest gay kiss

I’m convinced that Joey Tempest has the most obsessed fans in the world.  And not in a healthy way!

  • steve augeri shirtless

If former Journey singer Steve Augeri has shirtless photos out there, they are not to be found here.

  • quiet riot band sex tape

Again…not to be found here.  Why would you want this?  Even Kevin DuBrow didn’t want to see Kevin DuBrow naked.

  • is rogu roger son

It’s complicated but the simplest answer is “yes”.  I’m just proud that this one led to me!

  • trailer park boys europe parents guide
  • thank santa’s tits tpb

Trailer Park Boys search terms always make me chuckle.  A “parents guide”??  Oh my God, somebody out there thinks there is a parents’ guide!  As for “Thank Santa’s tits”, that’s one of Ricky’s memorable quotes from the show.

And finally, my favourite search term:

  • superbad the singer jimmys brother actor

That would be Michael Cera, who performed the greatest version of “These Eyes” ever sung  by anyone.  You remember.  My brother drove all the way from Scottsdale Arizona to be here tonight, and you’re not gonna sing for him?  You sing, and sing good!

WTF Search Terms: Chicken Skin edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XLIV: Chicken Skin edition

Happy Friday!  WTF Search Terms are those weird words that you typed into a search engine to get here.  No overall theme this time, just a collection of shit that is:  A) weird stuff to google, and B) amusing that it led people here.  Please enjoy!

 

  • alien yoi hold i’ll fuck it. bon jovi slippery when

Yes that’s all one search term.  I actually have no commentary on this!

  • julian “chicken skin” trailer park
  • trailer park boys remake rush music video

This one I can explain!  The second inclusion isn’t really a “WTF”, but it does help explain the first one.  Trailer Park Boys’ Live in Dublin special featured them attempting to remake “Closer to the Heart” by Rush.  In order to replicate Neil Peart’s fu manchu moustache, Julian taped a piece of chicken skin to his chin.

  • tell me your favorite video game or i’ll eat your soul

That’s a tad harsh.  I assume the “I’ll eat your soul” part matched to a Tencious D lyric from the song “Tribute”.  Oh, and Super Mario 3.

  • nkotb face the music underrated

HAHAHAHA.  No.  No.  Heh.  No.  But this did link up to my first April Fool’s review.

  • critique essay over xmas special trailer park boys

I find this amusing because they used the word “essay” and that word has never been used on anything to do with Trailer Park Boys before.

  • jeff bezos new girl

I bought a lot of stuff from Amazon, but I wouldn’t know who Bezos is dating.  Not me that’s for sure.

  • all right saratoga springs, you wanted the best, you got the best, the hottest

Very specific!  This Kiss fan might be looking for a bootleg from Saratoga Springs, New York?

  • boobsy_animation_whores_wearing_glasses_acquire_screwed_hardcore_ site:mikeladano.com

An old classic, the Boobsy Animation Whores (wearing glasses acquire screwed hardcore) have been getting hits here since day one.  They’ve made the WTF list so many times that my site is now associated with them.  Go me?

  • lick my penis

Heheh.  I know why this got hits. Thanks Uncle Meat.

And finally I had to save this one for last.  Any Trekkies out there?  Any fans of Lieutenant Ash Tyler?  Don’t Google this.

  • shazad latif nude

I didn’t find him naked, but I did find a guy who looked like him sitting on the toilet.  You’re welcome.  Now you don’t have to look.

Come back for more WTF Search Terms on a web-enabled device near you!

Shazad Latif as Lt. Tyler

#774: The Original Mustard Tiger

GETTING MORE TALE #774: The Original Mustard Tiger

 

Gary was a customer of mine after I was transferred to a store on the shittier side of town.  It’s not like where I worked before was high class.  The new store was in a part of town that, frankly, I never went to when I wasn’t working.  There was nothing in that part of town, just the same fast food joints as everywhere else.  Not a lot of people with disposable income.  The store recently came to an end, to no-one’s surprise.  But that was the store that Gary frequented.

I inherited Gary from the previous manager.  Since we started carrying DVDs, we acquired a brand new niche clientele:  movie and TV fans.  They rarely, if ever, bought music.  It was a whole new market, and Gary was one of the guys who bought DVDs pretty much exclusively.  In particular, he liked TV show season box sets.  M*A*S*H*, Gilligan’s Island, the classics.  He bought a lot — and returned a lot.  He was high maintenance, so not the kind of guy I was really excited to see walk in at any given time.  But that’s retail.

What was most memorable to me about Gary was his appearance.  Large, bald, and…shall we say, unkempt.  The shirt that disgusted me the most was the one that had mustard stains all over the front.  Dried mustard on cloth isn’t my thing when it comes to fashion, I guess.  And when he talked to me, trapped behind the counter, I could barely take my eyes off it.  It was like a car accident — some people can’t help but look.  That was me with Gary’s shirt, which didn’t seem to completely cover his skin, by the way.  The easiest and most accurate comparison would be the character of Phil Collins on Trailer Park Boys.  Gary was taller, but Phil was bald, had a protruding gut, and wore a shirt covered with mustard stains.  Phil’s shirt had a picture of a tiger on it, hence his nickname:  the Mustard Tiger.  Well Gary was the original Mustard Tiger.

I quit the store a couple years later, but life is circular, and that was not the last of the Mustard Tiger.  About a decade ago, Jen and I were obligated to go to a wedding.  It was one of her bridesmaids tying the knot, the one we referred to as “bridesmaidzilla”.  (You can read that story in #559:  Hotel Hobbies.)  I wasn’t thrilled to be going, and for Jen this was kind of a final obligation before she was able to put some distance between them.  They were having a “Hillbilly Wedding”, I believe they billed it.  And guess who the best man was?

It was Gary.  He traded in the mustard shirt for something clean, with buttons.  Adorned atop his bald pate was a 10 gallon cowboy hat.  Upon his ample belly, a giant golden country & western belt buckle.  It looked like the WCW Championship belt, so huge it seemed.

I’m sure that some of you, if you were in similar circumstances, would walk up to Gary and ask him how he’s been doing.  If he even remembered you.  I did not do that.  When I quit the store, I was bitter and wanted to move on with my life.  I didn’t want to talk to Gary and remember all the times he returned some shitty TV show box set.  We all make choices, and I chose to pretend that I didn’t remember the Mustard Tiger.

As if!!

 

Sunday Chuckle: Legal Tender

I like to hide pictures and so on in the back of filing cabinets.  I was cleaning out mine at work, and saw this one from years and years ago.  That’s why I do it!  For those little surprises down the road.

REVIEW: John Dunsworth – Stories – Volumes I & II (2010 & 2012)

JOHN DUNSWORTH – Stories – Volumes I & II (2010 & 2012)

John Dunsworth, known as the beloved Jim Lahey on Trailer Park Boys, was a Canadian treasure.  By all accounts he was a caring man who gave generously of his time to fans and friends.  He loved this country and took great pride in the fact that many Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan were entertained by his “drunken” antics as Lahey.  He toured coast to coast with Pat Roach as Lahey and Randy, meeting fans in character and signing autographs.  People loved John Dunsworth.

John recorded two CDs of his life stories.  Some copies were recently found in a box by his daughter Sarah Dunsworth, who plays Sarah on the show.  She made them available to fans and even included memorabilia in the mailed packages.  We’ll get to that; the CDs are quite interesting.

Dunsworth had a rich voice, and you might even find these stories soothing to listen to.  Amusing anecdotes about family and friends are framed in an entertaining way.  He had a long career in show business and shares those stories as well.  As a casting director, Dunsworth gave a young Ellen Page a role in a TV movie called Pit Pony.  She later played Trina Lahey in the second season of Trailer Park Boys.  Media gave him credit for “discovering” Ellen Page, but he is far more humble about his small role.  The real talent belongs to Ellen Page, and he was very proud of her.

John talks about childhood.  I have a few things in common with him.  Neither of us could sleep on Christmas Eve, and both of us would creep downstairs in the early hours of the morning.  Some stories are darker.  “Flight 111” is about a plane crash over the ocean, that John was a member of a search party for.  229 people died, but the cause of the crash is debated.  Keep listening as the story takes a turn to the unknown.

I mentioned that copies came stuffed with free gifts.  Mine came with two “Lucy and Sarah” buttons but I almost missed the real treasure inside.  It’s just a copy, but I got a page from a Trailer Park Boys script, and not just any Trailer Park Boys script.  Season five (the hash driveway season), episode nine:  “I Am the Liquor”.

Randy:  “Is that you talking or the liquor?”

Lahey:  “I am the liquor Randy.”

Possibly the most legendary line of Lahey dialogue of all time.  Sarah Dunsworth signed it, as it originally came from her script.  Incidentally, by this page it appears the episode was originally titled “I’m A Cock-Riding Gay Cowboy Am I?”  I am going to keep this page safe and sound, because I love it.

The light and dark of Stories Volumes I and II will be treasured by the hard core Dunsworth fans, and they are out there.  Very limited in number, they will not be around long.  Check them out on the official John Dunsworth site.

4/5 stars

REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – Season 12 (2018)


TRAILER PARK BOYS – Season 12 (2018 Netflix)

Like any franchise with an extended lifespan, Trailer Park Boys has fans both devoted and hyper-critical.  Many are just glad the series is still continuing and still funny.  Others whine that the style has changed and many original cast members (Jonathan Torrens, Lucy Decoutere, Mike Jackson, Barrie Dunn) have left.  The death of John Dunsworth (Mr. Lahey) late last year put things into perspective.  Just be glad we have Trailer Park Boys at all.  John finished season 12, which was lovingly dedicated to him.

What’s the Boys’ deal this time?  After much pressuring from Bubbles, Ricky and Julian agree to go “legit”.  Bubbles is already running a successful brewing company.  Green Bastard beer is a hit.  Julian gets a job working for Gary in security at the mall.  And Ricky?  Odd jobs around the park.  The first is an unmitigated and hilarious disaster.  Things go way off the rails from there.

Lahey and Randy are back, with Bo-bandy trying to keep Jim from causing trouble.  But they need help supervising the park, and hire old nemesis George Green.  Barb Lahey’s still in charge, and a thorn in everyone’s side.  Sarah, Trinity, Jacob and Corey still reside in Sunnyvale.  And wait until you see what Ricky has done to the Shitmobile.  (Turned it into a two storey home with two TVs and both upstairs and downstairs bathrooms.)

One of the reasons you don’t miss Lucy this season is because she’s been replaced by Susan (Susan Kent of This Hour Has 22 Minutes).  She’s batshit crazy and mad for Ricky.  Their on-off-on-off relationship is a source of many of Ricky’s problems.  All he really needs is a break.  Maybe he’ll catch one from some “Angel Shit Sent Down From Jesus God”.

You’ll see.

Julian might even have a shot at love.  An old girlfriend, from all the way back in season one, reappears in his life….

The season ties into the real world release of the official Trailer Park Boys beer called Freedom 35.  It’s a fictional take on how that beer got to the store shelves.  Bubbles, who now drives his own green truck, has a secret recipe and it’s caught the notice of the Halifax Beer company.  They want to pay Bubbles to sell his brew!  Can Bubbles ramp up his production, or will Ricky fuck it all up?

Without spoiling too much of the fun, the best episode this season is called “Happy Birthday Bubbles”.  If you liked the old episode when the Boys played “space” and fired a rocket, you’ll love this one.  I hope Steve Rogers makes a full recovery though his helicopter sure is fucked.  Best of all, this season we return to the arena where Ricky shines like no other:  the courtroom.  Judge Ticklebury presiding.

Knowing that Jim Lahey has taken his last drinky-poo gives the season a bittersweet flavour.  How does the show continue now?  We don’t know, so just enjoy season 12 for what it is.

4.5/5 stars

 

RIP Mr. Lahey (John Dunsworth)

My sadness cannot be expressed, nor can the shock. Actor John Dunsworth, best known as the beloved Jim Lahey from Trailer Park Boys, has died at age 71 after a short illness.

Way she goes, bud.

RIP Lahey.

WTF Search Terms: Surströmming edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXVIII:  Surströmming edition

Heyo, LeBrainiacs!  It’s time for more WTF Search Terms, those weird and wacky things that people typed into search engines to bring them here.  I’ve gathered 10 more for your enjoyment.

People often search for “naked lebrains”.  Should I be flattered?  Setting the record right, once and for all:  I have never, and will never, do porn.  I’m glad that you keep searching for it, but give it up will ya?

  • lebrain hot dee
  • www . sex photo lebraln fucking

This isn’t a how-to site, but I loved this next question.  It had to be from a Trailer Park Boys fan.  Nobody else would think of it.  Bless you, whoever you are:

  • i want to turn my living room into an ice rink

True north strong and free!

These folks also had some Trailer Park Boys questions:

  • in tpb europe do they throw up

It sure looked like they did, in Stockholm after opening a can of putrid of fish called surströmming.  Nothing appeared to be faked for the cameras!

  • what episode is the trailer park boys where they go to denmark

I know this is hard to believe, but it’s the episode called “Copenhagen”.  Because it’s the capital of Denmark.  C’mon guys, use your heads before asking Siri to find out for you.

  • trailer park boys europe wheres randy and lahey

Not in Europe.

  • trailer park boys quotes they’re canadians they don’t know any better

I plead the Fifth.

This next one is related to Kiss.  I wish this is what I titled from review of Kiss at the Ritz:

  • kiss shit fits at ritz review

And then there’s this, obviously triggered by “Kiss” and “Maiden” who I’ve reviewed, but I don’t know what this person was searching for:

  • I fear they kiss，gentle maiden

And then in the “Conspiracy Theory that Just Won’t Die” category…guess who’s back!?

  • joey tempest lookalike

 

Thanks for checking out these search terms.  Subscribe so you never miss any!

 

 

Guest WTF Search Terms: Trailer Park Boys edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXV: Trailer Park Boys edition
Guest shot by Thussy

Thussy Boy back with another WTF Search Terms…this time to celebrate the release of Season 11 of one of the funniest shows on Netflix right now.  Let’s get two birds stoned at once.   Here is WTF Search Terms: Trailer Park Boys edition.

10. fifty shades of piss

Piss jug alley: “These are your father’s urine containers, Ricky.”  The ironic thing is I need to piss really bad now.

9. trailer park boys kareoke cab

As far as I know it does not exist but I must see this if it does.  [It was a scene in Out of the Park: Europe, in which they meet NHL star Esa Tikkanen — LeBrain.]

8. what episode is the trailer park boys where they go to Denmark

Third episode of Out of the Park season 1.

7. in tpb europe do they throw up

It sure fucking looks like it.  They were probably hammered.

6. trailer park boys europe wheres randy and lahey

They are rehearsing for a play at the Blandford recreational centre.

5. trailer park boys remake rush music video

From Live in Fuckin’ Dublin.  Shot for shot remake of “Closer to the Heart”.  It is amazing.

4. the green bastard bubbles

Hands down probably one of my favorite episodes of the show right up there with Conky.  The Green Bastard – Parts Unknown!

3. thank santa’s tits tpb

Favorite quote from the show, and definitely one I use.

2. what episode of trailer park boys does rick turn trailer to hockey rink

That would be Episode 5 of Season 8. “What do you think Orangie, look how much wet there is.  You fuckin like that don’t ya.  You want to get in there and swim your gold little tits off I bet.”

1. why wasnt jay rock or lucey on tpb season 11

J-Roc just felt like his time on the show was at an end.  Lucy quit when Mike Smith was arrested for domestic violence (The charges were dropped).  Funny thing is it came out after that she actually told the producers of the show she was planning on quitting a week before Mike Smith got arrested.  I think she used it as an excuse to leave.

Thanks Thussy for another WTF Search Terms!